
No title available
Cosimo Galluzzi
One Nice Bug Per Day

blake kathryn

JVL
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

JBB: An Artblog!
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
NASA
No title available

No title available
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Misplaced Lens Cap
h
Keni

if i look back, i am lost
Today's Document
Mike Driver

Kaledo Art
we're not kids anymore.

seen from Türkiye

seen from Malaysia

seen from Canada
seen from United States

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from France

seen from India

seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Singapore

seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye

seen from Germany

seen from Ireland
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
@gwenevre
Wait are there actually catholics out there right now playing gay chicken about disagreeing with the pope. Like they've made it their whole thing that whoever sits on this specific chair speaks for god, so you've got to agree with whatever the current pope says or you're not a catholic. So instead of everyone doing gay shit and going "whoever flinches first is gay", it's just pope doing hot takes and everyone else going "whoever flinches first is a protestant."
Or have I gotten an entirely wrong picture of this whole situation.
I think so because that's the funniest possible way to understand things
yeah the fact that we're skipping right over the game of chicken as a concept and going specifically to gay chicken makes this infinitely funnier in the context of catholicism
I don't know what the regular game of chicken is about, but I do know the rules of gay chicken, so I decided to start from a familiar place.
Promise? 👀
Commissioner Gordon was ostracized within the Gotham Police department. He knew this was because of his ties to the Bat, his late hours, constant overtime. He knew that even the good officers, while he couldn't tell too much who was who, didn't mean to ostracize him. It happened on accident, he's sure. He picked up some clues from the world's greatest detective. Rumors went around, running rampant about him. He just couldn't care so much about them.
Everyone knew that Commissioner Gordon always took his late dinner at 9:37 at night. Everyone cleared from the break room. Gordon opened the door, taking a heavy breath. He was still expecting the empty room. It felt empty, in a way Gordon had picked up from The Bat. He pulled his burrito out of the fridge, opening the styrofoam container and eating a bite. "You're not going to heat it up?" Gordon barely manages to catch his burrito, his whole soul leaving his body.
"Jesus Christ, kid, you scared me." Gordon lets out a heavy breath, seeing the new detective sitting at a table in the corner. He's eating... Something indescribable. He looks tired, his long black hair bulled back into a high ponytail. His face seems disproportionate, large prominent features. A crooked nose, a wide, thin mouth, large eyes accompanied by large bags. His skin was pale, dusted with faded freckles and litchenburg scarring. The young man- still a boy, practically, shrugged at Gordon's words, eating another bite of the odd food. "No one warned you I'd be in here?" Gordon decided to sit with him.
"No, they warned me. But the past couple of days they've been... Avoiding me." Dr. Fenton, Gordon remembers his file passing over his desk. He could never be a cop- he was a detective-by-hire because of some medical condition. Gordon feels a pang at the emotionless words.
"Ah, they avoid me too." Gordon takes another bite of his cold burrito. "So, how have you been enjoying working here?"
"Well, it's been alright, I guess." Fenton took a drink from his thermos- which has a straw in it. It goes unsaid that this was the only job Fenton could really get. Close to the force, anyways. His medical condition refrained him from being a proper officer, so he wasn't officially a Gotham PD detective. He was an out-contract detective, receiving the same work, pay, and hours as the regular detectives.
"Getting around the town well enough?"
"Well enough, I suppose. Almost got robbed." Fenton held three doctorates- criminology, psychology, and natural sciences. All at the young age of 22.
"Almost?" Gordon snorts a bit at that. "Scared them off with your badge?"
"I don't have a badge. And I don't have a gun, if that's what you're thinking. I guess they just thought I was too pathetic to have much cash." Danny shrugged.
"Oh come on, you're not pathetic." Gordon is a bit taken aback that the boy doesn't carry any weapons. He makes a mental note to get him a badge.
"I looked pathetic enough not to rob."
Gordon feels like he missed something there, because Gotham robbers would rob a kindergartner if they were unattended. Regardless, he and Fenton sat in silence for a good couple of minutes. "What are you eating?" Fenton asks eventually.
"A burrito from the Mexican stand on Westwood."
"Why are you eating it cold?"
"Because if I reheat it, then the sauce becomes a solid liquid and everything gets soggy. What are you eating?"
"It was supposed to be stir fry?" Danny stared down at the leftovers container. "I'm not good at cooking. No videos ever make sense, so they don't turn out right."
"Your parents didn't teach you?" Gordon asks.
"No, they weren't the best chefs. They did pass on the family fudge recipe though. I can make some killer fudge." He laughs a little bit at that.
"I'll bring you lunch in from now on." Gordon says. "Until we can get your cooking sorted out, anyhow. Normally my daughter and I spend Tuesday nights fixing dinner together, so you'll get the best meals Wednesday."
"You don't have to do that." Danny seems a little caught off guard by the kindness.
"I can't have one of my youngest detectives going hungry!" Gordon smiles. "Besides, you're the first person in the precinct to eat dinner with me in nearly twenty years. You keep eating with me, it'll be no problem. I enjoy the company." Danny smiles at him and Gordon is reminded of someone, but he can't remember who.
Over the next couple of weeks, Gordon and Danny get well acquainted in their overlapping shifts. Danny works the nights and sometimes early mornings, similar to what Gordon does. Gordon finds himself feeling fatherly to the young man, who's working and picking up significant overtime to pay off his student loans. He learns that Danny moved here from Illinois- it was the only PD he could work at. He had no formal fighting training, but apparently his mom had taught him some moves. They had yet to overlap in the field, and it was easy for Gordon to forget that the boy was really a detective.
"Danny?" Jim paused, having finally made his way to the crime scene. Danny was crouched over a dead body, using his gloved hands to inspect the wound- the word Joker carved using some sort of knife.
"Gordon?" Despite all insistence, the boy still used his last name.
Jim has to stop himself from asking him why he's here. Danny's eyes shift to a spot behind him and James sighs. "What happened?" Batman's voice startled the last officer in the room, who quickly stuttered an excuse and left.
"The Joker broke in, tortured her, and left." Jim says. "We just have to figure out why."
"No, we don't." Danny looked back at the body, his eyes unfocused. "It was political. Do you see the swelling here on the neck? No lacerations, and no bruising. Allergy, I suppose, or a poison that reacts similarly. No clawing at the neck or face, but heavy rope burns on the wrists and ankles. The cuts were sloppy, and from the bleeding, it was done after she had died. Maybe five, ten minutes after? The window wasn't fully closed when it was broken into, do you see how the glass fractured there at the top?"
Jim blinked, and Danny continued. "It doesn't fit the motive of a mad-man like the Joker to do this. Who you're looking for is a woman, younger than the victim, maybe around twenty or thirty?" His eyes unfocused again. "Hmmm." He snaps back, looking around. He stands, his hands shaking a little. He looks around, eyes landing on the shelf. He scans it, using gentle hands to lift the potted plant. He pulls out a camera, unplugging it. "A Direct Link- model E47C." He sets the camera in an evidence bag.
Batman gives a grunt- and if Jim isn't mistaken it was one of approval? Danny held the camera out to Jim. "That was some fine detective work today, kid." Jim sets his hand on Danny's shoulder. Danny glances off to the side nervously. He locks eyes with Batman. "Danny, this is Batman. Batman, this is Dr. Daniel Fenton, the newest detective on the force."
Batman holds a hand out. "I look forward to working with you." Danny pulls off one of the disposable gloves, reaching out to shake his hand. "You're shaking a little, are you alright?"
"Medical condition." Danny answers. "You're taller than I expected."
"It's the ears." Jim represses a smile. "You go ahead and get your deductions filed. I brought pasta." Jim watches Danny leave. He turns to Batman, who's staring him down with that signature I-know-everything™ face. "What?"
"When are you going to let him know that you're mentoring him?" He says it like a sentence, and was that amusement in his tone?
"I'm not." Jim turns to the window.
"You brought him pasta."
"He never learned to cook."
"So you're teaching him." There was definitely amusement in his tone now.
Jim huffed. "We're getting old." He finally sighs. "We both have full grown kids. Crime and corruption are still thick in this city." Batman is standing next to him with a swoosh in his cape. "Retirement... I could see myself with it. Sipping cocktails on the beach. A beach with sunshine and no broken down carnivals."
Batman is silent for a moment, as if considering this. "So you see Fenton taking your place?"
"Like you see your Robin." Jim admits.
Only the subtlest metaphors on this Tumblr.
This works as a metaphor for children but also it works perfectly well when played totally straight because horse people are actually like this
it literally took me three solid readings through this to realize that it wasn’t necessarily about horse people, because they are exactly like this
"Hello/Goodbye" ~ Obi-Wan's saber plants incorporated: tulips, peace lilies, nasturtium leaves, forget me nots, sunflower petals, ferns, roots, aloe stalks, ghosts of anemones "Twins" ~ Luke's saber plants incorporated: sunflowers, deep red/black rose, vines, petunias, twin flower, desert rose leaves, tillandsia "Fulcrum" ~ Ahsoka's saber plants incorporated: lilies, succulents, columbines, chrysanthemums, feathers
Any others people have been wanting to see in the series???
Inuyasha character's reactions if you ask for their pronouns
"What the fuck are pronouns?"
"She/her."
"I dunno. Yellow?"
"How many can I get?"
"Nor/mal."
"Meow."
"Huh?"
"Let me ask my dad."
*stares at you in silence*
*stares at you in silence*
*stares at you in silence*
"I'm not paid enough for this shit."
*calls you a slur*
*calls you a slur*
*calls you a slur*
*calls you a slur*
*calls you a slur*
"They/them." (still calls you a slur, somehow)
*calls you a slur*
"Beep-boop-beep."
*calls you a slur*
*calls you a slur*
*calls you a slur*
*dad joke*
"I'm afraid you lost me."
"How dare you speak to me?"
"She/her. Thank you for asking."
"He/him. Duh."
"Old."
"You see, 50 years ago..."
hello fellow inukags, i once again bring you memes
well this took way longer than i thought it would lmao;; still, kinda proud of the bg in the second panel and i tried to give these a 90s animecap look hehe ☺️
When your kid’s imaginary friend is actually the ghost of your ex…awkwaarrd~
PLEASE do NOT repost my art on other social media without my permission. Thank you.
bonus:
Tenakth body paint is *chef's kiss*
New painting I did of Elizabet and her Sobeck girls from Horizon. The perfect Trinity. 😌🌹
Follow me for more Horizon Art! I follow back! 💕❤
I put the LGBTQA face paint on Aloy before finishing the DLC and accidentally got the best ending
a collection of motivational insights regarding content creation and creative hobbies
and of course the classic
so i watched star wars with my 10yr old niece and as soon as luke appeared on the screen she gasped and yelled “look its troy bolton!!!”
I CAN’T EVEN BLAME HER THO LOOK AT THIS SHIT
@swiftshadowtm
This is the most unexpected crossover ever
star wars musical when
I need to immediately develop photoshop skills so I can shop Luke “Definitely Not Dark Side-Sexual” Skywalker being Anakin-angsty on a golf green
Please
Hopping on the Vine compilation bandwagon, part 1/?
Oh god, I lost it at the Tim Hortons one.
I never saw the cheating test questions sequel before now and it did not disappoint.
It was a simpler time
This comp is a perfect mix of classics and hilarious ones that somehow I’ve never seen before
>First, we’ve discovered that about a quarter of all the internet connection in or out of the house were ad related. In a few hours, that’s about 10,000 out of 40,000 processed.
>We also discovered that every link on Twitter was blocked. This was solved by whitelisting the https://t.co domain.
>Once out browsing the Web, everything is loading pretty much instantly. It turns out most of that Page Loading malarkey we’ve been accustomed to is related to sites running auctions to sell Ad space to show you before the page loads. All gone now.
>We then found that the Samsung TV (which I really like) is very fond of yapping all about itself to Samsung HQ. All stopped now. No sign of any breakages in its function, so I’m happy enough with that.
>The primary source of distress came from the habitual Lemmings player in the house, who found they could no longer watch ads to build up their in-app gold. A workaround is being considered for this.
>The next ambition is to advance the Ad blocking so that it seamlessly removed YouTube Ads. This is the subject of ongoing research, and tinkering continues. All in all, a very successful experiment.
>Certainly this exceeds my equivalent childhood project of disassembling and assembling our rotary dial telephone. A project whose only utility was finding out how to make the phone ring when nobody was calling.
>Update: All4 on the telly appears not to have any ads any more. Goodbye Arnold Clarke!
>Lemmings problem now solved.
>Can confirm, after small tests, that RTÉ Player ads are now gone and the player on the phone is now just delivering swift, ad free streams at first click.
>Some queries along the lines of “Are you not stealing the internet?” Firstly, this is my network, so I may set it up as I please (or, you know, my son can do it and I can give him a stupid thumbs up in response). But there is a wider question, based on the ads=internet model.
>I’m afraid I passed the You Wouldn’t Download A Car point back when I first installed ad-blocking plug-ins on a browser. But consider my chatty TV. Individual consumer choice is not the method of addressing pervasive commercial surveillance.
>Should I feel morally obliged not to mute the TV when the ads come on? No, this is a standing tension- a clash of interests. But I think my interest in my family not being under intrusive or covert surveillance at home is superior to the ad company’s wish to profile them.
>Aside: 24 hours of Pi Hole stats suggests that Samsung TVs are very chatty. 14,170 chats a day.
>YouTube blocking seems difficult, as the ads usually come from the same domain as the videos. Haven’t tried it, but all of the content can also be delivered from a no-cookies version of the YouTube domain, which doesn’t have the ads. I have asked my son to poke at that idea.
if you’re ever at a vet hospital and can hear dogs/cats howling and screeching and making terrible noises from the back, please be aware that 99% of the time it is NOT because:
they are dying
they are in terrible pain
they are being tortured
It almost always IS because:
someone is taking their temperature
someone is placing an IV catheter
they’re mad about being in a kennel
other likely reasons why animals are screaming in vet clinics!
they saw another animal
no one is looking at them right now
they are happy to see this particular staff member
they’re a pug getting a nail trim
they’re a shiba inu getting literally anything done
they’re a husky
The Shiba inu may not even be getting anything done
Exotic medicine edition!
If you ever hear a pig screaming it is probably because:
-They are being asked to walk somewhere
-They are being vaccinated
-Someone is trying to get them onto a scale
And if you ever hear a bird screaming it is probably because:
-They are getting their nails trimmed
-They are getting examined
-They are a macaw
-They feel ignored
-They are literal devil spawn
-????
Facts
sup, i’m not dead my motivation just fell of the face of the earth