Just a Random Introvert

Expedition 33/BG3 content. I write fanfic. I write opinions. I've heard I write yandere characters well.

[random-introverted-blog]

My blog fandom is expanding to the surprise of No One™

Yes.

It happened.

I honestly didn't think it would.

But the theme of grief sunk its hooks into me at a time when grief was all my heart knew. When I had no sense of belonging anywhere and definitely not the BG3/Astarion/Shadowheart communities.

And in there I discovered something.

What my blog was originally started for...

I sensed a trope amongst the cast that my blog was known for (maybe still is?)

Our newest yandere...

Damn you, Jennifer English, you've done it again.

"But Introvert!" You cry. "What do you mean she's yandere? She's sixteen and has no love interest!"

Both are true! However, if you gave her a love interest, I am almost certain you'd see the yandere come out in spades.

I've already got a character analysis in the works that I hope to have done soon! I'll explain more there.

But yes.

I have become WhyNoMaelleYandere. In spirit. The blog and me are still branded Random Introvert.

And a heads up that I also now have a personal blog! @the-night-the-moon-wont-touch

Yes.

I have a night-theme fixation that is not going away anytime soon. Also nautical. Nautical themes too.

I am kinda taken to calling it my "I do what I want space".

Anyway. Since most of you (understandably) aren't taken to hearing (reading?) me wax poetic and flip-flop about the future of my online endeavors, I have decided to take the venting/rambling and push it somewhere else.

If you're interested in more off-brand, truly random content, that is where you'll find it. This blog will finally remain a fandom hub.

Random poetry? Yes.

Random thoughts? Yep.

Random pictures of my dog? More than likely.

Random essays on the trials of life? I'd bet money.

And much more!

I'm not entirely giving up on BG3. We've got one Shadowheart story in progress. And my creative thinking is very fickle of late so I will bite my tongue before I say more than that.

Thanks for staying with me and the blog through this year! I hope we can all enjoy the CO:E33 content together. Maybe even... explore Yandere!Maelle together?

[random-introverted-blog]

I updated Flickers of Loss for pancakes

I know I haven't actually posted the other chapters here yet, but pookie prime @bonechillen has requested I post it here too. And I want pancakes and snuggles.

I threw it all together in an evening while I had the place to myself. And then started overthinking before remembering the fun of FoL has been We Live and Die Like Sharrans.

The chapter got excellent reviews so far (from my #1 fan guess who) so I hope you guys like it too.

Here's the link to the AO3 page!

Not All Night Belongs To Her

[random-introverted-blog]

So after some long thought and deep discussion, I have made a decision to share my experience...

I know I said I was going to keep this all fandom related, but I have a story to share that I think is important. The names of people will be anonymous; I'll be using placeholders. But I swear that all of what I'm going to say is true. And if you want more direct information, you are free to do so. Privately. Not my asks.

I'm sharing this story now, not to dredge up dirt and sling it. But I think my experience is too... important to share? And I've been so careful and conscious of not rocking the boat, protecting my peace and happiness that I've let my self-preservation and maybe fear of retaliation get in the way of doing what I maybe should have done sooner.

Again. No names. And no information too specific to narrow down one person. People close to me will know this story, and that's fine. I have maybe 5 or 6 of you that will know exactly the story I'm about to tell.

Because the actual story is very, very long I have put together a Tl;dr. If you want the full story and receipts (yes, I am actually sharing them despite how uncomfortable I am with everyone seeing it) you can find all that below the Read More and the receipts at the end.

Tl;dr

I entered the BG3 fandom while in a restrictive relationship where I was slowly learning to shrink myself. Through the fandom, I formed a deep friendship with a well-known creator who shared my interests and became my closest connection. What began as an intense, affirming friendship gradually included explicit sexual joking that I didn’t fully understand or feel comfortable questioning at the time, especially because I was younger, inexperienced, isolated, and trusted her implicitly.

I had no safe third party to ask for perspective, so I dismissed my confusion and deferred to her experience and authority. When the friendship eventually ended abruptly, I lost not only her, but much of the community tied to her influence. The fallout was devastating and disorienting.

Only later, through the patience and care of new, genuinely supportive friends, did I begin to understand consent, power imbalance, and why parts of that dynamic had felt wrong. With time and reflection, I’ve come to accept that I may have been groomed or taken advantage of, intentionally or not, by someone older, more experienced, and more socially powerful.

I’m sharing this not to name or attack anyone, but to light a lantern. If something in your life feels confusing, uncomfortable, or unsafe, and you feel unable to speak up, those feelings matter. You deserve friendships that honor your boundaries, your voice, and your worth. And if you don’t have anyone to turn to, I want to be someone who listens.

And because consent matters, here is a trigger warning list for my literal real life experience. This post contains discussion of:

grooming and power imbalance

consent issues and boundary confusion

emotional manipulation

sexual themes and explicit conversation references (The screenshots near the end contain explicit conversation)

friendship trauma

isolation and loss of community

relationship conflict

emotional distress, anxiety, and depression

identity confusion and self-doubt

Please read with care.

Full experience/context below

So back around mid to late November 2023, I started my BG3 fandom journey. My at-the-time boyfriend (Mikey) was my one constant support and cheerleader (he was not great at either of those).

But he had insecurity issues, and that carried into my relationships with my friends and how he viewed them, and how he viewed my hyper-fixations, and we started to hit potholes when I felt I had to limit my interests and myself to be who he wanted. That's about the only relevant bits of information there.

Around December that same year, I really got involved in the BG3 fandom, mostly Astarion and some dabbling into Shadowheart. I was determined to get people on board with Yandere Shadowheart. The idea made me so happy and eager, but again I just had Mikey back then.

Cue the point of this story.

Enter EP. ✨️

The first person who had frequently interacted with me that I developed a friendship crush on. A hard friendship crush, and she was deep in the DJ!Shadowheart trenches alongside me. I thought she was so cool and wanted to be her friend really bad but had no idea how to get past my own shyness and awkwardness, but that didn't keep me from gravitating to her. And then I discovered EP was also the person behind a very well known/recognizable account centered on Shadowheart on a major platform—that I will not name otherwise there goes the anonymity and the point of this isn't to attack anyone but share an experience that I think is really important to share. But I genuinely loved her content.

I gushed all the time to Mikey about how cool I thought EP was and about my friend-crush. Despite Mikey's insistence I just reach out, I simply wouldn't because of my own insecurities. Mikey offered to reach out to EP on my behalf. I insisted no and made him promise not to do anything. He promised.

Then broke his promise a few hours later by DM'ing EP on my behalf.

This was very upsetting and anxiety-inducing. I was expecting EP to be weirded out that my boyfriend needed to reach out to people to make me friends. But EP was pretty chill and understanding, said that the desire for friendship was mutual, and that she might reach out to me.

EP did reach out to me not super long afterward. And we hit it off.

And over the course of the following days we were pretty inseparable. She was my first fandom friend, and we shared the vast majority of our interests. Like a kindred spirit, I finally had someone I could gush and hyper-fixate with that I didn't have to limit myself or be a certain way, it was like a breath of fresh air and an ice-cold drink of water. We were very generous to each other with our time and energy; we shared our wips, what we liked in smut and in Shadowheart (DJ, Silverheart, Bangs, in general, etc.) and we shared our personal lives, it was almost magical how well things were going between us. We learned there was a significant age gap between us, that she was happily married to a woman for about a decade, I identified as straight, all of which is relevant. Even some of our trauma had been discussed.

It was around New Year's Eve when Mikey confronted me about her. I had been very open with how things were going between us, silly jokes, cool ideas, interesting conversations. We got into a tense argument. This wasn't the first time we had argued about something or someone that had grabbed a lot of my attention, and the previous times I had mostly succeeded in resolving these conflicts by establishing firm boundaries on what I shared and what in my life I consented to him being a part of.

But this was the first time it had gotten as intense as it had. In the argument, he said she was in our relationship, which to me was insane. This argument resulted in telling him I was going to stop being friends with her.

I was bluffing.

But given he had already gone behind my back to message her once, I had to be careful if he did it again that it wouldn't confuse her.

We'd known each other for about two weeks when I messaged EP and I awkwardly told her what happened. While embarrassed, she and I had already been having pretty personal conversations and had a connection that felt like we had been friends for much longer, so I explained the situation with Mikey and the problems between him and I. I told her what he said about her being in our relationship. And we joked and had a laugh about it; she was understanding and apologetic, and I assured her it wasn't her fault. We talked about how I identified as straight, and her being married to a woman for over a decade, and how we lived on opposite sides of the planet; that I was firmly straight and in a serious long-term heterosexual relationship.

We started joking around about her and I and the "open relationship" Mikey accused us of having. From "ah yes, let's friend-elope because we're too close as friends according to my boyfriend" to... well... Very explicit and graphically sexual ways.

It was silly; I thought. Meant for laughs. I mean, we had established that she's married; I was straight in a straight relationship, how could it be anything but a silly haha? Besides, she was older, with way more life experience than me, very established in her sexuality.

So when we'd concluded one of our... encounters, and I'd feel confused or even uncomfortable, I'd just... sit with it. She knew way more than I did, and she had said nothing about it. She never seemed really (if at all) concerned about it. So all these weird, confusing, uncomfortable feelings had to be me. I was being weird. We had said it was stupid... right?

I should have felt okay asking for clarification, right? Just so I'd feel okay and not the cocktail of confusion I was then, right? But what if I ask her and it really is just me being weird, and she says I'm being weird and pins it all on me?? Then I'd lose my only friend. A friend I had felt like had been my best friend for 10 years, not the two weeks we'd actually known each other.

If that happened, and she found me weird and she didn't want to be friends anymore then I'd lose such a meaningful and special friendship I'd found in someone I had quickly grown to respect, admire, appreciate and cherish having in my life.

But... Yes, I do love her, deeply as my best friend. Friends love each other, platonic love exists. Then this is just us being silly and joking around about how deeply in platonic love we are.

Well, surely I can ask someone else? My boyfriend? No, no, he had already said we were in an open relationship so he's biased, he'd of course only see it as being something it definitely isn't.

My other friends? No, I only had one small friend group before her and I had distanced myself from them a month or so prior for unrelated reasons, I can't just waltz back over and go "so here's this weird sexual thing I've found myself in, thoughts?"

So I only had her and my boyfriend, right? Wrong! Surely I can ask my family! No... No, I can't ask my religious and homophobic family if my new best friendship with a woman who is an established lesbian is something weird. There is obvious bias there, and besides who just talks to their older brothers and mother about their sexual dynamic with other people? I mean, the one time I tried to ask my mom about something sexual about myself when I was a teenager, she had told me very quickly "that's something you figure out for yourself". So I can't ask her and get embarrassed again.

And besides, I tried to tell her once how I thought I was asexual and my mom who hates labels immediately jumped down my throat. So she's definitely out. Relevant information: I discovered in the fall of 2024 that I actually am on the ace spectrum.

But wait! I have an older sister who is openly queer! I could definitely ask her! Kidding, she and I had argued about her believing I was closeted and how I should accept I'm actually some flavor of gay or bisexual.

So the opposite of "it's not a phase, I like woman!"

With my sister it was "it's not a closet, I like being a woman who likes men!"

The last thing I wanted was for her to hear or even see this dynamic with EP and have even more reason to pressure me about my sexuality, tell me "I told you so" or even accuse me of cheating on my boyfriend.

That effectively has narrowed down to... No one. I had no one to turn to for advice or input. Just her. And she had done or said nothing to open the floor for me to ask how I felt about our sexual dynamic.

In my mind, with no experience in any kind of sexual relationship to begin with, never mind with a very experienced older lesbian, if she wasn't concerned then nothing was really weird about our dynamic at all! It was all in my head.

I mean, it wasn't like she didn't know all this about me, we had talked very openly about a lot of personal details about ourselves. I had shared my straight sexuality, and my straight relationship, and my lack of sexual experience... Then really this had to be what two best friends who talked all the time did!

So I blew off all my confusion, and every concern and question I had. EP was my best friend (my only friend) and I trusted her implicitly. She'd never do anything to hurt me, she would tell me if something was wrong or if she was concerned.

Things tapered off some months later. But I don’t think I could ever say it fully stopped. And my loyalty to EP only deepened as time went on. I'd throw hands with anyone who had a problem with her, she could have told me "actually the sun is an onion" and I'd have believed her. My super platonic time with her became one of the best parts of my day. She taught me so much about the world and life beyond my bubble, she was the funniest person I knew. I believed I could never find a better friend than her.

And that persisted until the very bitter end.

And it was over something that seemed like such an overreaction. How the argument to end all arguments started?

I said I was hurt about something that was adjacent to the point of the argument, but felt like my hurt would be ignored if I explained why. But I wanted to express my feelings. And true to my expectation, we didn't ever touch on what I was hurt about.

We went deep into all the problems she apparently had against me for the 1 year and 3 months we'd been best friends that felt incredibly out of left field. Because she had other issues with things I'd said or done before and we had established healthy and reasonable boundaries that I owned up to, apologized for and respected. So the absolute truckload of grievances made my head spin.

I won't go into it, because again, anonymity and two, the actual argument wasn't even the real reason behind why she stopped talking to me.

Remember that EP is a well known, pretty popular face in the fandom. So when things with her and I went sideways, everything around me caved in. I lost a lot of connection to a space that I loved and cherished dearly, and spent a lot of time in, and felt I belonged to and was proud of my contributions that seemed to have a lasting impact.

All gone in the course of a week.

Who gave me the cold shoulder.

Who pretended I was never there.

Who acted like my name was casting a hex on their crops.

And I only survived that Monday morning post-exile, the initial 30mins to an hour because of someone I had intentionally put a wall between us, to try and keep EP's approval and show my loyalty to her.

Someone who really showed me and taught me what a real best friend looks and feels like. We'll call them Jeb.

And then they connected me to someone who would equally sit with me beside it all and talk things out with me, who showed me another side of what a real best friend looks and feels like. We'll call her Ogurt. Edit: she was originally named Eileen. However, the woman behind the anonymous name wanted a sillier name. And after a phone call with my lovely girlfriend (that I'm actually still on while typing this) I have been convinced to change Eileen's name to Ogurt. You're welcome, you two.

Also yes, we are still dating and in love. For those concerned about my personal life. You know who you are.

And between Jeb and Ogurt putting up with the actual depressed, confused mess I was, because even I couldn't really figure out why EP cutting me off hurt and felt the way it did, I'd have never made the progress I did to become who I am now.

It was a conversation with one of them that I cluelessly mentioned the "silly haha platonic sexual dynamic" to, that flagged it to me and became concerned, then gently and very very patiently explained things to me, and opened up conversations about consent.

It was the two of them that let me vent and talk things out with me and make sure I felt safe and continued to feel safe to share things and express myself, but also keep my head on straight.

It was them cheering me on all 2025 and encouraging me. One of them gently nudged and encouraged me to actually connect with and trust Bonechillen because making new friends still makes me paranoid. And through Bonechillen I have really felt... healed. Accepted, wanted, so loved and held and safe.

I'm not just gushing to gush, she has sat with me and had serious and firm conversations about consent and expectations.

I have not talked to EP or anyone in her inner circle in almost a year. And a year ago, that would have been inconceivable to me. But I learned and gained so much more than I lost from the collapse of that relationship.

The promised receipts are here.

The point of my experience?

It's been brought to my attention how seriously important it is for other people to hear these things, no matter how uncomfortable it is. For you to read, for me to come out and say "ah yes, so this is all my embarrassing, vulnerable trauma laid almost bare for the world to see"... But it's not a warning, honestly. I'm not going to name names.

It's a lantern I'm lighting.

If this sounds familiar to your own life, if it resonates with you, if it makes something inside you feel uneasy, I want you to look around you, really look around you and examine what your surroundings look like. Those feelings shouldn't just be ignored, or dismissed. If you can't trust someone to express yourself honestly do you really want to trust them blindly? Are they deserving of that loyalty? Do you understand the priceless jewel you are gifting them? Do they treat it with the awe they should?

If you're like I was and have no one else to ask or turn to, I wholeheartedly encourage you to reach out to me. Honest. It all stays between us, I may not have answers but I have an ear you can use as a chew toy, patience and validation.

I'll even be brave enough to say outright what happened from my perspective. Because it's the only one that matters now, it's my half of the story I'm left with, and it's my right to view and treat it like it was left and abandoned to me.

After serious and a near year long journey of thought, contemplation, back and forth, soul searching, deep conversations with the people closest to me and with a woman who loves and treats me like something more priceless than can be found on this planet... I have begun to swallow maybe I was groomed and taken advantage of, intentionally or accidentally. Maybe I can go one step further and say I was abused but admittedly that one is still a tough one.

Abused and groomed by someone who has more social power than me, more life experience than me, more sex experience than me, is significantly older than me. Someone that (excluding those close to me) people would trust and listen to over me, and have. People who would trust her so much that if she said I was abusive and manipulative or other things, that people would also trust her implicitly and believe I am all those things and worse, and not care a thing for my side of the situation.

I'm not perfect. I've owned up to my mistakes and flaws countless times over the last 10 months. I've gone over all the things I could have done differently over that 1 year and 3 months EP and I were friends. Not just with EP but with other people too. And other things in my life.

But I'm not manipulative. I'm already in therapy every other week, and have been way before December 2023.

If you're in a similar position to me, in any kind of relationship with someone, platonic or romantic, feel uncomfortable but stuck because of a power imbalance know you aren't living anything inescapable. There are others who have gone through this round of the Hunger Games before, this is a trial you can outlast (you're welcome, my love) and there is loving, genuine and healthy relationships to be found either already around you, or in your future.

There is peak relationships to be found elsewhere. And once you find people you genuinely trust that you can share anything with without fear, without concern they're going to twist things around on you, I promise you there is no better feeling and nothing more healing.

I'm always here. If you have my old discord or you want to shoot me a private message here, you are more than welcome to reach out.

Will I have answers? Maybe not. But can we find answers together?

We can find out.

[bonechillen]

I don’t pop on here to share this type of thing often but I thought I’d give it a try, if it’s not your thing, keep scrolling but if anyone who feels up to it could share, I would appreciate it!

My sisters beloved pup had a serious injury and needs ironically the same surgery I had this year. My sister is killing herself working two jobs to save Kai so I thought I'd exhaust every resource possible.

Thanks for consideration!

Click here to support Mia DeJohn's story *DoubleTPLO

*spotfund is the easiest place to create beautiful and free online fundraisers. It takes just minutes to start raising money today.

[random-introverted-blog]

A casual signal boost, not something I've ever done either.

[random-introverted-blog]

Oh... Okay. I see...

So that's what the kids are calling it these days...

This screenshot below is from a meme I made in 2023 but I bring it forth from the archives of DJ!Shadowheart history, from a time when there wasn't even a real Dark Justiciar Shadowheart tag on AO3.

For one particular reason.

I said what I said.

That is all.

Now if you don't mind...

[random-introverted-blog]

so I went thru your old posts and uh… explain what position were you even claiming in that other situationship?? and no, not your bf — I mean the one that was already a dumpster fire 💀

Mm, you mean something that didn't exist? At least not from my perspective.

Surely you must mean my current relationship with my very wonderful, funny, beautiful, sexy, snuggly girlfriend? Because that is far from a situationship, and I'm all too happy to count the ways for you! Thank you for providing me with the excuse to be sappy and publicly in love!

We'll start with how unimaginably loved she makes me feel every moment of the day. With at least one heartfelt assurance of how much she cherishes me, as much as I cherish her.

And how for most of my life, I've been a person who recoils from physical touch from anyone that isn't my family. Hugs? No. Handholding? Extra no. Snuggling??

But with her, I'm very much comfortable with it and actually want it. I've fallen asleep to the dream of being warm in her arms.

I did warn you she makes me sappy as hell.

How effortlessly she makes me smile before I realize I'm smiling, or how I don't think I've laughed nearly as much before I met her.

And that I miss her every day until I get to finally hear her again, and practically melt into how calm and comforting it is to be with her, even apart. Even if we aren't saying anything sappy, we're just chit-chatting, and sometimes I'm just so at ease that I almost feel Bonechillenless.

It is my duty to make a Bonechillen pun at every opportunity.

Spending time with her is a breath of fresh air; it energizes me; it motivates me; it makes me the luckiest person this side of the Milky Way.

I genuinely love her with my whole heart. I want to be a better person for her, in as many ways as I can. She's so generous with her time and affection for me, she spoils me every day.

My role in my relationship now? Complete sappy simp, head over heels for my incredible girlfriend @bonechillen.

I couldn't care less about what people think of what, your words "my situationship" was. The only reason it matters is because it made me into a person capable of acting on the once in a lifetime chance to find the love of my life. It led to her and I connecting, and her giving me the time of day.

If I were ever going to fall for a woman, I'm beyond lucky that it was one who gave me plenty of patience, space, safety and comfort to explore and become comfortable. Who communicated (and continues to communicate) everything with me. So I'm not confused, or lost, or ever unsure what we are and what we're doing, and always makes sure I'm comfortable, feel safe and consenting. And she doesn't leave me uncomfortable or confused. I can ask her anything, literally anything, and she never makes me self-conscious beyond my personal awkwardness, and even then she's so good with helping me through it and encouraging me it's okay to ask or talk to her about it. I'm never afraid she'll give me the side-eye or think I'm weird.

She's so confident in us, and in me and herself.

I have never had anyone in my life like her. Never.

Thank you again for the opportunity to be sappy on main about my amazing girlfriend.

Sucks for everyone else.

I called dibs.

Everyone has their own priorities.

Mine is her.

That said, much as I love gushing about her and being open about my sappy sapphic love story, let's keep the asks about my personal life to a minimum, eh? The coming out was important to us both, and I'm content being selfish with the rest of us. If you want to get to know me, my dm's are always open. If you knew me once, never knew me, have conflicted feelings about me, whatever. But the anon digs are unnecessary, and dare I say it, cowardly. Say it to my face or keep it in your mouth.

[random-introverted-blog]

Do you have any other writers/bg3 blogs to recommend since you're posting less of it? Preferably ones that make content like yours. You were amazing.

Aw, thank you! I'm glad you liked my work and am happy to help you where I can. The question is a bit broad. My bg3 content is varied from memes, to an ancient "DJ is a great yandere character and here's why" post and of course my writing and admittedly, I haven't really kept up with anyone's work since the start of 2025. Which yes, is when the things happened that led to my departure from bg3 to begin with. I haven't read an Astarion story in over a year now, and I tend to only read Shadowheart stories if my friends ask for my insight on their writing of her. So I can't really recommend Astarion creators to you, but I do know a few writers/blogs I can recommend with and without bias. I can highly recommend @bonechillen for starters! One, because she's an amazing human being with an amazing soul and heart. To me, her creativity is astonishing AND she is also an enjoyer of Yandere content. And she'll commit to what she's writing, if she's writing an evil or toxic character, it is no holds barred going to be dark. She writes what she wants to write, and that really does go a long way for if a story is fun to read.

But I'm admittedly very biased, proudly biased, as her girlfriend. Random "coming out" announcement buried in an ask, yippee. Not that long ago, I read her yandere Shadowheart story Tav's Chosen. And if you're interested in Minthara, she's the baddest bitch in that space too. But yes, it has happened, I finally met someone who ignited my queer/gay awakening. I'll quit publicly simping on main before you start rolling your eyes. Happy and proud to flaunt how swoon worthy she is another time if anyone wants to ask or know! @strugglingcomet An incredible DJ!Shadowheart writer, Act of Wickedness and Know Thyself The Enemy Within are two of my favorite Shadowheart stories. Highly recommend giving them a peek! If you're in anyway at all in the Shadowheart fandom and watched YouTube videos with her, I'd bet money you've heard of Shadowfalllen. She's grown a lot as a writer and creator, and I still highly recommend To Defy The Gods and Before The Last Brew. Disclaimer: Not sure about what content she posts on her blog these days though. But you can check it and her out and see if you like her work. She and I used to share a lot of the same taste/interests when it came to Shadowheart and writing her, so the potential of you enjoying her content is—I think—pretty good. Eldritchelf is another really good Shadowheart writer. Don't think she writes DJ!Shadowheart excluding one story but that story was also very well written and thought out. But again, if you're interested or follow the Shadowheart fandom space you've likely heard of her and/or Shadowheart Begins. Disclaimer again: I'm not sure what content she posts to her blog these days, but I do remember she and I shared plenty of really enjoyable conversations on Shadowheart/DJ where we were very agreeable on her. So I'd say again, your chances of liking her work are good. And because she's read and talks more to people than I do these days, this is where I turn to my girlfriend for her suggestions to bail me out! Shadowheart the 9th @shamelessinfodumper!

Their work is rated "great!" and the story that was suggested to me is below!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60787579/chapters/155250853https://archiveofourown.org/works/60787579/chapters/155250853 I would read it, if I wasn't still kinda weird about reading Shadowheart content and had the time I really would give this a read. The summary caught my eye, and the tags do seem to be something I'd write myself. And when I asked for her suggestions she said thusly:

"Did they ask for stuff like yours specifically? I would recommend this blog https://www.tumblr.com/moonselune?source=share she’s on a break rn but she has some seriously good stuff in her dark bg3 master list".

If my Lady Love suggests, it is my duty to pass it along. It says so in the Gay Girls Manual I found under her bed...

Again, most of these names are ones I haven't checked in on in awhile. And some I probably won't ever if I'm honest. But personal disposition doesn't change my respect for their work.

The most recent Shadowheart story I read was Bonechillens and as I said, I'm horrifically biased and proud of it. Absolutely head over heels for her and haven't felt this happy in years.

That said though, she and I have talked about MAYBE working on something together of a Shadowheart variety.

Anyway, thanks for the ask and the opportunity to come out and flaunt my new happy, sappy Sapphic love life! Sorry for the long delay in replying, it's been a journey and a half getting to where I am and settling into all these changes in my life!

Now when I'm late on projects, you can all blame @bonechillen for being a wonderfully distracting girlfriend! -Sincerely signed Her girlfriend, who also distracts her. A lot.

P.s What a way to close out a year that started off so harrible! You're welcome, babe, that was for you...

[random-introverted-blog]

Okay, I know this isn't anything I said I was working on but I needed to point this out

LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY GET, I LOVE IT

[random-introverted-blog]

Update: Not gone

I've been distracted most of this week by important life things. But I'm hoping to finish up this analysis soon.

Also I'm getting an xbox copy of E33 in the next few weeks, so I'll actually get to finish it. Mayhap I will create an archive of scenes and dialogue for easy reference?

[random-introverted-blog]

I love and support you no matter what!!! ❤️❤️❤️

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU LOVELY BITCH

[random-introverted-blog]

very much being genuine. the screenname is pretty straightforward, i fall in love with villains, lol. current fave blorbo is a murderous space elf who trepans people for funsies. it's a pattern with me.

that said, your post where you talk about grief leaving space for new things, really touched me, even as an outsider who only ever saw your stuff in passing but never got to know you or was a part of SWG. like, in a way your words were something I really, really needed to hear, as someone grieving people who are still around, but not around me. so i appreciate you, very very much. you seem like such a kind and sweet soul and from reading here and there I can see you're an incredibly talented writer. i hope inspiration always finds you. i truly wish you nothing but the best <3

If any of what I overshared about grief has helped even one person, that makes it worth it. That's probably one of the best compliments I've ever gotten.

The loss was abrupt for me, I had no warning or notice that anything was even wrong and if there was than it wasn't communicated clearly. I know they've seen my blog too, none of what I've said thus far has been a secret to them. So I very much know the the pain of grieving people who are gone emotionally and being almost abandoned.

For me, it was like an industrial furnace intense burning from the inside out. But it transitioned into an ache with time. Some days it's softer than others, but lately it reminds me that I made it out and survived. If you ever need an ear to chew, mine is always on offer in my dm's. That's about as much as I can say publicly.

Thank you for the kind words as well. What you see here is what you get (albeit a bit more reigned in and decent sounding, I have a super NSFW sense of humor) and I'm grateful to hear not everyone thinks negatively of me ❤️

And sorry for the initial suspicion about your username! The paranoia is still pretty strong, but it was also so funny. It was almost like "damn, if I'm getting trolled this is an amazing one".

Ahem.

Thank you for the love and support! I offer mine to you as well. A toast to being fellow survivors of grief.

The Lady of Loss has embraced me indeed.

[random-introverted-blog]

As someone who also essentially became "fandom pariah" please know that you are loved. Don't let the past haunt you.

I can summarize my reaction to this ask quite succinctly...

But joking (the name is just a joke/name right?) Thank you very much for the kind and supportive words!

The journey has been far from easy. It went well beyond the fandom and into the deeply personal. But I'm much happier and better off. I've grown so much, become more sure of myself, and made so many new, amazing friends and connections! Friends I may not have made otherwise.

The past doesn't haunt me—it has made me a whole new (and better) person and friend for it.

Thank you again for the support! Here's to being pariahs together!

[random-introverted-blog]

I wish you were still in SWG. It’s not the same without you at all, and kind of just dying off. You really brought the spark, and life to the server.

I don’t know what happened, but I wish you would come back.

Thank you, sincerely. SWG will always be something I look back on with gratitude, even if it ended painfully. I cared deeply for that space and everyone who helped shape it. Its heart has always been its members—not whoever holds a mod tag, not a single person.

Sometimes people see you through the story they’ve chosen to believe, and I’ve learned not to fight that. I’d rather carry the good memories quietly than fight to rewrite the story in someone else’s mind. I doubt I’m especially wanted back, and truthfully, I’m not eager either.

If it is fading, I’d probably just meme from the deck chairs and make bad jokes as the Titanic went down. That’s about the best ending I could give it.

[random-introverted-blog]

[random-introverted-blog]

anon, maelle can also be romantically yandere towards verso too, if youre brave enough lmfao

There are lines we don't cross, guys. That's a hard one right there.

[random-introverted-blog]

I miss when you were more active in bg3 spaces :(

I share this meme jokingly and with love...

On a more serious note: There are times I miss it too.

I'm not saying goodbye forever to bg3 or Astarion/Shadowheart. I'm simply branching off to find a place of my own and grow where the soil is hopefully more nurturing ❤️

Still happy to answer asks about bg3 things! I'll probably still make a meme here and there too! But I'm not going to actively seek it out anymore, and I've been much happier since I stopped.

But maybe the E33 content will suit your fancy? I hope it does, I'm super excited to share all my thoughts and spread the good word of Yandere Maelle just like I did Yandere Shadowheart! And the reception so far has been very encouraging!

[random-introverted-blog]

maelle is PLATONICALLY a yandere. the facimile of her brother wants her to move on and process her grief? no. he's hers forever forever forever whether he likes it or not. she's feral about her family.

See, I get that! Her behavior toward Verso is a big part of the reason for my upcoming yandere analysis.

For me, she can be both. Behavior like that tends to expand into other relationships/areas of your life, it doesn't stop or stay exclusive to one side of your life.

I definitely see you and agree with you!

This isn’t me saying she is an outright yandere, she isn't. This is me looking at her pattern of behavior and saying "this is possible". Fictional characters are always up for interpretation.