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[random-spiraling-thoughts]

Do you have one of those days where you feel a bit better than other days, but then one tiny detail you randomly noticed unlocked a memory of someone who wronged you, and now you feel like you were punched in the guts?

Only it's attempted rape so you couldn't walk it back or ignore it to reconnect with said person?

I found myself watching metallic gel nail video after video, yet I don't feel any urge to do it. Even though, I'm very easily influenced, aesthetic wise. Then I remembered that one time that man held my hands and trimmed my painted black nails himself. That one tiny act of kindness made me see that he was, too, a full person.

I can't reconcile his humanity (or undetected malicious intent) with the monstrosity he showed me at the end of the relationship.

I wanted to hate him, I do hate him. Somehow it still devastated me. It feels wrong to mourn someone that saw me as a possible sex object.

Does it get easier?

[random-spiraling-thoughts]

I just wanna find some joy in living, like I was able to not long ago. Before my assault...

I miss knowing that I have a purpose.

[random-spiraling-thoughts]

Hello 👋 my ❤ friends !

I am asking you to support my newly created campaign to help my family survive the gruesome war over Gaza to safety and ✌️ peace.

Life has become incredibly harsh, tough and full of hardship and painful suffering. We lack all he basic living essentials and necessities such as food, water , medicine and other needs.

The war has made our life hopeless and desperate. My six-member family has been going through the hardest days they have ever experience for almost eleven months due to the disastrous war.

The war has taken every beautiful thing from us, leaving us homeless, displaced and jobless. Everything is tough and impossible to get. Water and living conditions are incredibly unattainable and unaccessible.

The rising prices of all necessary items of life has complicated our living conditions especially when all our savings were spent over the least necessities and needs.

A photo taken for my tender sick children who is suffering from a chronic disease relating to his respiratory system. 😭😭😭

That is why I am now asking you to lessen and minimize our burdens and loads of life through your contribution. You can help my family survive through donating whatever you can or reposting my messages.

Yours

Rewaa

You fucking scammers gotta start leaving me tf alone. My account isn't anywhere near popular. Nobody read what I post. The only way you know to follow me here is if you have my IP address on database.

You didn't scam me once, you're not gonna scam me twice. Leach on someone who has more than a dollar to their name.

[random-spiraling-thoughts]

I don't miss my childhood. To be frank, I hated it. It wasn't fun being an insecure child who wakes up everyday wishing they were somewhere else less confusing, bland and disappointing.

However, every now and then, I find myself looking back at the giddy joy I once felt waiting for this month's magazine issue to drop. The smell of smooth, glossy, freshly printed pages. The palpable anticipation for nuggets of information that only feel important to a child. The wonder of sunshine and gingerbread encapsulated in child- friendly humor. All of it makes the nasty beating, infuriating nature of my father and anxiously waiting out in the cold for my mom to come home and open the front door almost worth it.

I live in a small country in the tropical climate. We get winters with howling winds racing on the streets, but never snow. But, every winter's special issue, a small part of me understood why people love Christmas.

[random-spiraling-thoughts]

Fuck if I knew that shaving my head will let it grow back to an effortless mullet, I would've done it sooner.

Taking absolute control over my hair has made this sentence in a prison of flesh a bit more bearable. Being uncomfortable while getting my hair cut by someone else and hating how the results turned out has been such a core part of my childhood, I didn't think it would be any different in the future.

Hey, i'm stuck in a life I don't wanna live, all my dreams are dying as we speak and i'm trudging through the wreckage of my former self, but I have that going for me.

[random-spiraling-thoughts]

I will never forget how people shrugged their shoulders when news about my SA got out. How I had to understand it is such a common occurrence that the dipshits who can pluck nilon strings better than others wouldn't be able to control themselves.

"Oh well, it's biology"

"What do you think would happen when a man and a woman are alone in a room together?"

"It wouldn't hit her as bad if she wasn't so innocent and inexperienced. My niece has had a couple boyfriends now. She's fast, she'd probably shrugged it off."

I fucking hate how this musically obsessed ape descents of a society gives contrarian fuckheads such a God complex.

[random-spiraling-thoughts]

They say music is universal, like it's a good thing. No, it's a fucking disease but the most infected are awarded with money, cultural impact, drugs, alcohol and a limo ride to Hall of Fame- no matter how many underage girls they raped at the backstage of their shows.

Yes, I'm fucking angry. Because I was one of them. And it doesn't matter how many of us speak out, because you will keep playing their shit, buying their narrative and keeping their names alive. They will always be known as the legends of their time, and we will always be the dumb girls they used.

I can't look at another guitar without thinking of the day I was assaulted in a private studio, surrounded by musical instruments and a man that was supposed to be my teacher. But, it's cool, you gotta get your fix, right?

[helloeverything123]

Yay, more than 5.000 reblogs etc. in 6 weeks

[random-spiraling-thoughts]

I wanna live in an everlasting summer. I feel like ppl who complain about the inescapable heat, don't understand being so chilly and under the weather all the time, that summer becomes the only time in the year you feel somewhat human. Sometimes I just sit on the floor, looking at the sunshine beaming into my window and T H A W .