
if i look back, i am lost
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Janaina Medeiros
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Long and short—after drugging her friends Ali had some work to do. Because if they were asleep and she received a text from a figure that had been threatening her for months named “A”, then she would know it wasn’t one of them.
Ali then went out to blackmail everybody in town but also to eliminate them all as “A” suspects. But also to continue bribing and being a bitch because she’s a sociopath and I love her.
Anyway, on the way home, her sister bangs her head in with a shovel (mistaking her for someone else) and her mom literally covers it up by burying her in the backyard, thinking that Ali is dead but at least her other daughter wouldn’t go to jail for murdering her.
Little did Jessica know—Ali was alive and clawed her way out of the grave, with the help of her psychic friend, Ms. Grunwald, who had sensed a disturbance in the Force, so came to Rosewood to help Ali.
Grunwald takes Ali to the hospital. But while Grunwald tries to get Ali help, Ali encounters Mona, who whisks her away to a motel and helps her to hatch a plan to run away from Rosewood and start a new life. I mean, she can’t go home. Her own mother tried to cover up her murder.
But in another twist, Mona had been the stalker named “A” who had been sending Ali mean text messages and threatening her life the whole time, having a separate room in the same motel with a bunch of Alison pictures because she was stalking her.
And basically that’s what happened the night Alison DiLaurentis disappeared.
I’ve chosen NOT to include every conversation she had with the, like, 25 people she talked to before her sister tried to kill her. Cuz that was also juicy.
This show was so awful. But I never missed an episode. And no, I’m not embarrassed about remembering every detail.
Anybody who walks out of the theater and says, “Barbie is anti-men” lacks media analysis skills. So let’s do a what I thought no one would have to do for this film—an unnecessarily deep dive. But it seemingly needs to get done for this crowd.
Shall we?
(And spoilers)
In Barbieland, men are seen as nothing but accessories to all of the exceptional women. Even the least exceptional woman—Stereotypical Barbie—is more exceptional than the average Ken.
(The exceptional Kens like Sugar Daddy Ken and Earring Magic Ken as well as Allan are othered within the hierarchy of Barbieland, a clear allegory for non-conforming/queer men. Even Weird Barbie is othered by the Barbies for her non-conformity but at least has a house)
Contrast Barbieland with the (still surreal) Real World, where the gender roles are often reversed.
In the lead up to the 2016 US Presidential election, for example, there were still people saying that they couldn’t vote for a woman.
That was it. Not her policies. A woman.
The film goes out of its way to prove that Ken—despite being cis/White/straight and male—cannot get EVERYTHING he wants without qualifications and experience. But he DOES get a basic level of respect that he never got in Barbieland from Barbies and the power structure they benefit from.
At one point, the film has a line where a man says, “I’m a man without power. Am I a woman?”
In the film’s Real World (and ours), women often struggle to get power. And so do men! But women face social barriers that men simply do not.
Meanwhile, despite being “everything”, in the Real World, Barbie’s a sexual object to men and almost immediately assaulted; and vilified by girls/women for setting unrealistic body standards. And is torn to shreds by Sasha, the girl she thought she had to help.
Ken takes patriarchy back to Barbieland and the Barbies—unable to conceive of a world like the film’s version of the Real World—basically short-circuit. The Kens, meanwhile, having always been second-class citizens, relish in the new idea and hierarchy.
But, as the film establishes, Kens don’t have an education or qualifications. They can’t even build a wall right because they weren’t conceptualized to be useful/given the tools to be.
Ken’s job was literally Beach.
They’d have actually destroyed Barbieland.
Similarly, nobody is saying you should just appoint women in our world into positions of power, just to appoint them. But we ARE saying that there are qualified women who deserve to be in places that they aren’t because they’re not men.
And that’s wrong.
By the end of the film, Barbie realizes that she actually owes Ken an apology. Yes, Ken tried to overthrow the Barbies. But Ken was reacting to Barbie’s rejection in a toxic—yeah, I said it—way.
And reacting to their society too, even if he doesn’t really know it.
The Kens had a point. The Barbies HAD mistreated them. Barbie didn’t even know where Kens lived in Barbieland, after all.
And to not acknowledge their point is to also not acknowledge the real world point that women are often mistreated in our world just for being women.
I’ve seen some people brandishing stats about how women USED to be marginalized. But now they aren’t. And can do anything. And earn just as much as men.
And yet, Forbes reports that only 10% of Fortune 500 companies have female CEO’s.
Anyway, so the film ends with Barbie telling Ken that he needs to define himself independently of being with Barbie. Which is analogous to how women in the workforce and getting educated/qualified in our world, allows them to be financially independent of men.
In Barbieland, Barbies have always been autonomous and allowed to be independent of men. And have flourished. And President Barbie promises to allow Kens to take part in the running of their shared society. Because everybody deserves to be seen and heard.
There are valid criticisms to be made about this film ranging from how its feminism lacks intersectionality; to how Mattel’s own workers in developing nations are often underpaid and overworked; to consumerism being the main tool of empowerment that Barbie (the toy) endorses.
But it’s one film and I understand that it can’t address EVERYTHING. It chose to stick with gender broadly.
And I think it successfully lands that point.
All Fox had to do was be brave enough to make Xavier and Magneto lovers in the “First Class” films. Yes, I love to see male friendships and all. But you just KNOW if one of them were a woman, they’d have been lovers.
Don’t act brand new.
Like, it was RIGHT THERE and ripe for the picking.
They could have even kept the Xavier-Mystique-Magneto triangle thing because it’s genuinely an interesting concept. As in this continuity, Xavier and Mystique grew up together.
A bisexual wedge named Magneto could have come between them, challenging them both philosophically and romantically.
I’d have lived for that.
There are a lot of people who say that the problem with modern media—specifically tentpole franchises like the MCU and “Star Wars”—is that there’s too much “pandering” to “wokeism” as opposed to “just telling good stories.”
And I want you to walk with me as I tell you about how “Wokeism” has always been a part of these franchises and that the stories are STILL GOOD actually. But how YOU’RE engaging with these stories is the problem.
Comics have literally always been woke. Superman was created by Jewish men with a specific goal in mind—he represented Jews. He was a response to the rise in Nazism.
The X-Men are, well, we know who they are—they represent persecuted minorities, be they race or sexual/gender minorities.
Star Wars was heavily influenced by the Vietnam War—and was on the side of the Vietnamese!
And don’t get me started on “Star Trek”. Cuz in that universe, people don’t even use money anymore. It’s a socialist utopia.
“Wokeism” has been baked into all these stories from the jump. It’s just that when we were children, we didn’t have the worldview that we do now (as adults) to see what it was.
A lot of people say that these “woke” writers are “reimagining great comic characters” and making them worse. Yet, the Tony Stark everybody loves in the MCU? Not comics accurate. The Superman Snyder made? Not comics accurate.
It’s ok to not like versions of characters that people choose to make. That’s why they’re adaptations. They’re not meant to be analogous. I accept Snyder’s version even though that was not Siegel and Shuster’s original vision. It’s Snyder’s take. And I engage with that as its own piece of media.
Has this era of these franchises been more inclusive? 100%. And will that appeal to everyone? Absolutely not. But there’s a reason for that.
I believe the problem is that, due to the interconnectedness of the MCU/Star Wars etc., fans feel forced to watch programs that don’t appeal to THEM. And then blame the show for that. When, perhaps, you were not the target audience.
“She-Hulk” was not made for everybody. It was made for people who would like to follow a female character with special abilities who just kind of wants to be normal and deal with everyday, normal stuff. But can’t. Because she’s a Hulk. But also a woman in the modern world. I found it funny and charming because it appealed to ME. And I often watch shows about women dealing with their careers and love lives.
It’s “Ally McBeal” if she got Hulk powers. And if you were unlikely to watch “Ally McBeal” why do you think you would like “She-Hulk”?
“Andor” is in many ways a good show. But I did not like it because I did not find it entertaining. I understood every political message it had. And share the politics of the show. I just didn’t find it to be a show that I enjoyed. So I didn’t watch it past the first couple episodes.
The problem is FOMO—fear of missing out. Not diversity. Not inclusion. But fans don’t realize that it’s ok to not consume everything from a franchise. That doesn’t make it bad. It just makes it not FOR YOU.
And saying that the work is bad because of “Wokeism” and “bad storytelling” (which is subjective), sounds like a YOU problem. If you can come to me with an objective take, I will engage with it. I’m not saying these new things are above criticism. But the problem isn’t that it’s “woke”.
alright, i agree with you, but Andor just got better after the first few episodes. maybe give it another chance.
@assistant-honcho I did eventually finish it and it was fine. I think there’s a lot going on in it and it has great themes and interesting plot and character development. Its Emmy nomination doesn’t surprise me.
It’s just a very serious show with very high stakes. And it has to be. Because of its premise.
I wouldn’t tell someone not to watch it. It’s just not a show that was high on my list of priorities to watch because it didn’t really give me that dopamine hit a show like “Interview With The Vampire” did because of what I enjoy. “Star Trek” is inherently political but I find it’s protagonists to often be very engaging people that I like. And that’s the kind of show I typically enjoy.
“Andor”, by nature, isn’t meant to be that. It wants its protagonists scrappy because they’re a rebellion. I much more enjoy “The Mandalorian”.
There are a lot of people who say that the problem with modern media—specifically tentpole franchises like the MCU and “Star Wars”—is that there’s too much “pandering” to “wokeism” as opposed to “just telling good stories.”
And I want you to walk with me as I tell you about how “Wokeism” has always been a part of these franchises and that the stories are STILL GOOD actually. But how YOU’RE engaging with these stories is the problem.
Comics have literally always been woke. Superman was created by Jewish men with a specific goal in mind—he represented Jews. He was a response to the rise in Nazism.
The X-Men are, well, we know who they are—they represent persecuted minorities, be they race or sexual/gender minorities.
Star Wars was heavily influenced by the Vietnam War—and was on the side of the Vietnamese!
And don’t get me started on “Star Trek”. Cuz in that universe, people don’t even use money anymore. It’s a socialist utopia.
“Wokeism” has been baked into all these stories from the jump. It’s just that when we were children, we didn’t have the worldview that we do now (as adults) to see what it was.
A lot of people say that these “woke” writers are “reimagining great comic characters” and making them worse. Yet, the Tony Stark everybody loves in the MCU? Not comics accurate. The Superman Snyder made? Not comics accurate.
It’s ok to not like versions of characters that people choose to make. That’s why they’re adaptations. They’re not meant to be analogous. I accept Snyder’s version even though that was not Siegel and Shuster’s original vision. It’s Snyder’s take. And I engage with that as its own piece of media.
Has this era of these franchises been more inclusive? 100%. And will that appeal to everyone? Absolutely not. But there’s a reason for that.
I believe the problem is that, due to the interconnectedness of the MCU/Star Wars etc., fans feel forced to watch programs that don’t appeal to THEM. And then blame the show for that. When, perhaps, you were not the target audience.
“She-Hulk” was not made for everybody. It was made for people who would like to follow a female character with special abilities who just kind of wants to be normal and deal with everyday, normal stuff. But can’t. Because she’s a Hulk. But also a woman in the modern world. I found it funny and charming because it appealed to ME. And I often watch shows about women dealing with their careers and love lives.
It’s “Ally McBeal” if she got Hulk powers. And if you were unlikely to watch “Ally McBeal” why do you think you would like “She-Hulk”?
“Andor” is in many ways a good show. But I did not like it because I did not find it entertaining. I understood every political message it had. And share the politics of the show. I just didn’t find it to be a show that I enjoyed. So I didn’t watch it past the first couple episodes.
The problem is FOMO—fear of missing out. Not diversity. Not inclusion. But fans don’t realize that it’s ok to not consume everything from a franchise. That doesn’t make it bad. It just makes it not FOR YOU.
And saying that the work is bad because of “Wokeism” and “bad storytelling” (which is subjective), sounds like a YOU problem. If you can come to me with an objective take, I will engage with it. I’m not saying these new things are above criticism. But the problem isn’t that it’s “woke”.
Castiel: “I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it.”
Dean “What are you talking about, man?”
Castiel – “I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're “daddy's blunt instrument.” And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.”
Dean – “Why does this sound like a goodbye?”
Castiel – “Because it is. I love you.”
THIS IS A DECLARATION OF LOVE THAT JANE AUSTEN WOULD GIVE HER SEAL OF APPROVAL TO.
So, if werewolves predate vampires, why does werewolf venom kill vampires?
According to lore, vampires were specifically made by Esther to fight against werewolves. So they could protect themselves. So did werewolves just develop the ability to kill vampires with a nip via evolution?
Like, I know ~Nature~ found ways to torment vampires. Like they were weak against the sun, needed invitations to get into places and vervain weakened them and protected humans from compulsion.
But, narratively, it doesn’t make any sense beyond giving vampires an enemy that could kill them. I get why they needed an enemy. But I don’t think that this was the way. They could have said that certain properties make wolves stronger and faster. But not this.
The TVD writers were kind of stupid, TBH.
I’m mostly talking about TVD with touches of The Originals here.
Ok, so not to be a Klaus Mikaelson apologist. But I’m gonna be a Klaus Mikaelson apologist—I actually like Klaus.
Like, when he’s introduced, if Elena didn’t have to DIE for him to be able to become a hybrid; and he didn’t kill a whole bunch of people as collateral damage just to get what he wanted, his motivations in and of themselves aren’t necessarily bad. He just wants to be his fully formed self. And also be the most powerful supernatural being on the planet to protect himself.
On his character, Klaus has a lot of trust and abandonment issues. The fundamental lie about his parentage; followed by running from his adoptive father for centuries (who never liked him, even before knowing that Klaus wasn’t his); his inability to be alone; and his need to be in control explain why he is the way he is.
Klaus is in PAIN.
And remember—because of his vampire nature, everything is heightened. And he’s a wolf too—so he’s more naturally aggressive. So he doesn’t just react—he OVERreacts.
But a comfortable, secure Klaus is actually not that bad. He paints his pretty pictures and mostly keeps to himself and his loved ones. He’s addicted to having power. And that’s bad. But there’s a sensitive side to Klaus that we get glimpses of in his (often toxic) relationships with Rebekah, Elijah, Marcel, Hope and Caroline.
This isn’t to JUSTIFY his awful actions. But I’m just saying that Klaus, like most people, is a very complex being. And I think that’s why he’s also so interesting to watch. He’s not JUST an evil person who does evil things for sport. Like Damon often did. There’s a bit of that, but that’s not the biggest motivating factor for Klaus.
And that’s why I like him.
I love Klaus and Caroline aka Klaroline. But I hate Damon and Elena aka Delena. Despite both men being awful.
I’ve finished my TVD rewatch and I’ve got a lot to say! And I’m sorry, but y’all are gonna hear it.
***
THINGS I LOVED
Everything To Do With Doppelgängers: I could not get enough of Katherine Pierce in particular. But something about Doppelgängers being magical but not so magical that they’re POWERFUL was very unique. And it made Elena special without making her some type of amazing, overpowered magical creature. No, she can’t defend herself against a vampire. She’s an average 17 year old girl. And the gag of finding out that STEFAN was a doppelgänger too—and the jealousy that made Damon feel—was high drama. Chef’s kiss.
Vampire Lore: Vampires have special abilities that you don’t often find in vampire stuff. Their strength and speed is to be expected. But the rules about turning, their healing blood, compulsion, the humanity switch and dream manipulation were really cool abilities. Not to mention the origins of vampirism coming from witchcraft was really cool.
The Pacing: Specifically as it relates to how they introduce conflicts and villains into the show. Before one villain arc ends, another villain arc begins. It feels very organic and allows for the seasons/chapters to flow from one into the other. It feels cohesive while also feeling like A LOT happens in every season.
THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE
The Mistreatment Of Witches: Witches are arguably the single most powerful (and useful) creatures in the show. And yet, they’re just a smidgen less disposable than the average human. They have little to no defense against other supernatural creatures (unless they plan for them in advance), which makes them too easy to kill when up against an actual threat. Bonnie especially suffered because of this. She’s had her neck bitten into too many times.
The Mistreatment Of Bonnie: Tied into my first point is just how unfairly Bonnie was treated throughout the show. All the characters are WILLING to die for each other. But Bonnie often does. Or has to make a huge sacrifice. There were whole seasons when Bonnie lost access to magic for doing something good. And she’s rarely ever rewarded for her sacrifices. I was particularly triggered by the fact that Enzo was so brutally ripped away from her as a way to level her up. And the writers knew they were tormenting her (more than once she’s made to put everybody else’s needs above her own, and she acknowledges this) and they never really stopped doing that. Even up to the end. We never find out what her life is like. Did she fall in love again? Have kids? Carry on the Bennett line? Hang out with her mom more?
All Big Bads Were Not Created Equal: Over the 8 seasons, there were a lot of villains. But some were wayyyyy more interesting and powerful than others. Katherine is a standout and recurring antagonist for me. But I also think Klaus, Silas and Kai were exceptional. The others were mostly ok, but lacked depth. For example, Cade was an interesting antagonist. But he was just PURELY evil, which made him less interesting overall. Because he wanted the Salvatores to make good people do evil things. He was irredeemable. Klaus came across as very evil, but we got to see so many layers to Klaus that even if he did awful things, we saw him as three-dimensional. So we came to understand and maybe even LIKE him. I ain’t never liked Cade. I liked Sybil the Siren more than I liked Cade.
Too Many Plot Contrivances: This show doesn’t have a lot of holes. But by GOLLY are there a lot of conveniences. TOO many conveniences. For example: we had never heard of siphoners before meeting Kai. And then by the end of the season, Damon and Stefan’s long-supposed dead mother has a coven of vampire-siphon hybrids as friends?! This was a problem that especially plagued the later seasons. Didn’t like that.
***
Overall, I enjoyed my rewatch. Standout seasons, IMO, are S1 (arguably, the season that stands up THE BEST), 2, 3, 6 and 8. The other seasons are fine and have good chapters. But these 5 are my favorite.
It isn’t that giving Matt the Maxwell Bell storyline that ties his bloodline to Mystic Falls like all of the other (White) characters is entirely BAD (because he always seemed like a tacked on character). But it’s too little, too late, if you ask me.
In all truth, he and Bonnie could have connected over their outsider status. Everybody used to make trailer trash jokes at Matt’s expense. And everybody used Bonnie for her magical labor, just like it would have been in the antebellum South.
Matt could have simply represented everybody White who WASN’T a Founding Family member, but who still made Mystic Falls what it is (and suffered within it); and Bonnie’s family is descended from the enslaved in the South, while being very powerful witches who affected change around them.
Both characters could have shown that you don’t have to be from old money to be important.
TVD’s writers were a little too lazy to fully explore the racial history of the South or even properly explore class.
When Sybil was controlling Damon and Enzo and was gonna make them fight to the death, she really told Bonnie to pick between the ONLY man to love her HARD since Jeremy; and her Prison World bestie.
Damon is literally THE WORST main character on this show. When Sybil looked through his mind and saw ALL OF THE AWFUL things he’d done to Bonnie before the Prison World, she couldn’t fathom HOW Bonnie could be friends with him.
In no time after becoming Sybil’s slave, he stopped fighting and took his humanity off. While Enzo FOUGHT to protect those he loved.
And Stefan REALLY HAD THE AUDACITY to choose to protect Damon over Enzo. He was going to KILL Enzo. Because Damon is his brother.
Damon is so WEAK. Why the HELL did I like him?! I actually HATE him on my rewatch!
Honestly, fuck the Salvatores. Both of them. Especially Damon. But Stefan as well. He put Damon above the greater good.
But, honestly, Caroline standing up for Bonnie was really beautiful. Because as much as Damon is Stefan’s brother, Bonnie is Caroline’s sister. And she had to defend Enzo on Bonnie’s behalf.
That’s friendship. That’s sisterhood.
Ok, I’m almost done with S7 of my TVD rewatch. And I’ve gotta say—Bonnie is maybe the worst witch on the show. I thought she was better, but she’s not.
To be fair, all witches seem to have the same basic weaknesses as a human. But it turns out that their magic provides them very little defensive or offensive abilities against supernatural creatures beyond the occasional pain infliction (which didn’t always work either).
She peaked when she was using spirit magic with the souls of 100 witches in her; and when she was being manipulated into using Expression. But otherwise, a mess. Too easy to kill.
I feel like Freya and Hope would eat her up…
I feel like I’ve made it clear that I don’t much care for Damon Salvatore.
But.
I can’t say that I disagree with him for not finding kindness in his heart for Lily on her death bed.
First of all, he didn’t show it to Katherine either. He’s shown himself to be petty and cruel. It’s very in character.
And, second of all, Lily made it clear more than once that her Heretic family was her real family and she really seemed to only care about them. And Stefan and Damon were secondary. They were so awful that the crew had to evacuate Mystic Falls.
Like, she even knew that her sons had turned and didn’t even try to find them. I could get that she was a Ripper and needed to stay away. But even when she was in a better place, she didn’t seek them out.
She deserved no sympathy from Damon. It would have been nice if he had, but he didn’t OWE her anything.
For some reason, I remembered S6 of TVD being really good! But it turns out that it’s actually not.
Kai is really good—maybe one of the best villains the show ever had—but that’s about it.
Just filled with a bunch of plot contrivances.
Jo, Luke and Liv ending up on the same campus? Sure. 🤨 Bonnie and Damon being trapped in Kai’s (Jo, Luke and Liv’s brother) prison world? Convenient. 🤨 Sarah Salvatore and the best cancer doctor both being at Duke University? Lucky. 🤨 Damon and Stefan’s mom being both a vampire AND trapped in a prison world? Alright. 🤨 Jo and Alaric beginning to date in the same season he proposes and she gets pregnant? Okie dokes. 🤨
And don’t get me started on the DEADWEIGHT characters/storylines.
Enzo? Ugh. He was ok in S5! But they clearly didn’t know what to do with him after that. So they just made him Damon Lite, obsessed with torturing Stefan. And how small is the vampire world that LILY turned Enzo?
That whole Monique/Sarah Salvatore storyline? Unnecessary and tacked on. I was perfectly fine with the Salvatore line ending. And Damon killed A PREGNANT WOMAN?!
Matt’s constant moaning about supernatural creatures and how awful they are? Babe, it’s been SIX SEASONS. And literally all of your friends are supernatural. Get over it.
Also, when did magic become a thing you could just put into other things and live without? Or something Kai could absorb from you, leaving you with none? Are witches magical batteries?
When Bonnie’s mom lost her magic, it was a punishment from Nature, wasn’t it? I could even understand if you push too hard and die from exhaustion or something like Sheila.
S6 is a MESS.
The root of Katherine’s enmity with Elena boils down to 2 things—jealousy and envy.
She lost her baby as a girl and had to live on the run from Klaus for 500 years. That meant that she couldn’t really have any TRUE friends—just means to an end. That’s why she betrayed everybody, even if they helped her.
And then here comes Elena—her shadow self—with multiple best friends; a brother, aunt, stepfather, vampire mom and uncle/dad who love her; a seemingly nice childhood in a quaint little town; and a chance at a human life (at least before she turned).
So she’s jealous as hell.
And then she’s envious of Damon and Stefan’s love for Elena. Katherine coveted their love, especially Stefan’s, because it was maybe the only pure love she experienced since Elijah (who was still willing to let her take part in Klaus’ ritual against her will, mind you).
Damon and Stefan didn’t need anything from her. They just loved her for who she was. Well, Damon did. Stefan was compelled, but he probably would have still loved her because of the doppelgänger thing.
Elena is a personification of everything Katherine never got to have in 500 years. It doesn’t make all the awful things she’s done RIGHT. But remember—vampires experience everything on a heightened level.
We all feel jealousy and envy. But she feels it more than we do!