ain't that a kick in the head?

ran | 33 | he/him 💍 @dream-gate 💍

[dogpuppy]

[rankuros]

"overworking is killing you" okay well can it at least go faster

[loveridden1999]

top 3 hobbies for young adults:

1. borrowing misery from future

2. carrying grief of the past

3. agonizing over the present

[rankuros]

thought maybe i could get through losing my cat without killing myself but then i came back to work and my fucking coworker didn't even wait two hours before throwing me under the bus and telling me to drive to someone's house to get signatures from them. the leo frigo memorial bridge in green bay wisconsin is looking real jumpable right now

[rankuros]

huge life hack i invented recently is to not vacuum your house in the same order every time! usually i vacuum from the living room back to the bedrooms, and by the time i get to the bedrooms i'm sick of vacuuming so i half ass it, but today i started in my bedroom and i was even able to move my nightstand and vacuum under it

[februarytrash]

[rankuros]

who needs weighted stuffed animals when you have a snuggly chunky cat. i mean a weighted stuffed animal doesn't even have a wet nose to stick in your ear a hundred times a day. what's the point

[mystrothedefender]

My coworker said he was having a bad day and I said 'it can't be that bad you haven't started howling like a sad dog yet' and he let out the saddest most pathetic little howl I've ever heard and I was like 'damn ok do you need to have a break?'

[mystrothedefender]

Banned from manager training for making my coworker bark.

[mystrothedefender]

This has become such a meme at work i just asked the store manager how her days going and she went awoo

[rankuros]

[wolf-whistling out my car window at an abandoned house on the side of the highway] baby girl i've never seen anything as beautiful as you, i wanna be inside you

[wholesome-animal-images]

[rankuros]

i want to look at anniversary cards [has been married for like 7 weeks]

[doona-baes]

#mood today

[395nm]

Fuck Meyer-Briggs whatever typology. This INTFP shit is only for redditors up their own asses to substitute for a personality. Use my new typology instead!

Your ideal environment is:

Hot/Cold

Wet/Dry

Bright/Dark

Loud/Quiet

[bedupolker]

HWBL - beach boy

HWBQ - tropical fish

HWDL - dingy club bathroom hookup

HWDQ - the swamp woman

HDBL - CoachellaBurningmanSouthbysouthwestACL attendee

HDBQ - Lizard

HDDL - Vegas babeyyyy

HDDQ - Trapped in a slot canyon

CWBL - Rowdy Lobsterman Crew

CWBQ - penguin living

CWDL - port angeles basement show

CWDQ - bruminating amphibian/hypothermic mammal

CDBL - ski resort

CDBQ - Christmas in Nebraska

CDDL - mcmurdo station rave

CDDQ - corpse

[kosmogrl]

[rankuros]

living alone in a different city than all of your family and friends is all fun and games until you get a flat tire on the freeway, at 11:30pm, less than 10 minutes away from home, and by the time you've gotten your car towed to the parking lot of a tire shop ($119) and ubered home ($18) it's been 2 hours. you were 10 minutes away. and you had to ask the tow truck driver to let you run into a gas station to piss because, again, you should have been home so much earlier. so you have no dignity left either. and tomorrow you have to go buy a new tire which is like $300 probably. if you had a friend or family member who could have picked you up at least you wouldn't have had to ask a stranger to let you take a piss break and you wouldn't have to uber back to the west side in the morning (probably $18 ish). just really unforchies

[mothcrumbs]

i cant stop saying "grisp it"

[mothcrumbs]

[parkchanwoohoo]