r

because loving him in silence doesn’t work anymore

[ransomchmt]

intro!

okay so I guess time calls for a new introduction post, things have changed

my current TC is H (he/him) in some old posts I refer to him as “the TA”, he’s not actually a TA, he’s just an associate professor (or something of sorts)

my old TC is M (he/him), he was my history teacher in my last year of high school, we got along really well and as time went one we got close

we used to stay in touch but pretty much lost it during ‘24 summer

I also used to post sometimes about another teacher, I called him R but I found out early on we didn’t get along so it ended up in nothing, he was my teacher for only a semester

[ransomchmt]

I still think about him often

it doesn’t get better

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logging in here to say some girl from my faculty is dating a teacher and that’s crazy man, so jealous of her, they don’t even hide, like u can see them together in the cafeteria and stuff like that

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been debating if I should do this or not but I guess it’s time, I’m officially leaving this community

thank you to everyone who was here along with me for this insane ride, appreciate every single one of you

I won’t delete the blog but I will be logging off and most likely won’t be active, maybe I’ll update every few months but I’m not sure, I don’t have a plan yet

this community is one of the best things that has happened to me and I couldn’t be more glad of being a part of something like this, love you all

[still-confus3d]

how I (an unstable 17 year old) look at my middle-aged teacher when he doesn't pay any attention to me during the class (it's 7 in the morning and he's teaching a class of 25 students)

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it’s so sick and twisted that I cannot just text M something like “hi, how are you? I’ve been thinking about you lately, I miss you”

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omg today H was explain something to me and the classmate sat next to me and he was like pressed right against me and I could smell his cologne and we were all looking at this tiny law book and I was holding it open cause otherwise it closed on its own and every time H pointed at something our hands brushed and it happened like a bunch of times and I was trying so hard to actually pay attention

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pls a few classmates stayed back today to have an extra class with H and I stayed too not because I needed it but because I wanted to see him and he was asking us our emails to send us the work and everyone had to give them theirs but mine appeared directly 😭 and he was like “I have yours right here sonny” with the biggest smile ever, are you kidding me

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if I had a nickel for every time I talked about Grindr with a teacher I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice RIGHT?

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if I had a nickel for every time H approached to talk to me in the bathroom I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice

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three nickels btw

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four nickels

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realized I haven’t posted about my planning of things before they happen like I used to with M so here’s me doing that again

on Monday I’m finally going to class back after being out a whole week, it’s H’s last class, then he’s gone for good (I most likely won’t see him until the final in May, maybe not even then cause I’m not sure if he’ll attend)

my plan is to go to his office before our class (I have an excuse for it) my intention is to offer getting a drink together sometime, I don’t think he’d be against it, quite the opposite, but I need to have the right opportunity to say it without it sounding the wrong way so who knows

also, my plan, eventually, is to request him on insta after he’s done being my teacher for good, but we’ll see about that in the future

[ransomchmt]

stop, I didn’t go to class today cause I’ve been sick these last few days and my friend told me H asked after me TWICE and said he hoped I get better soon

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if I had a nickel for every time H approached to talk to me in the bathroom I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice

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three nickels btw

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today during H’s class we were very few people, and I mean very few, so it was like a much more relaxed class

he often does this annoying thing whenever we ask him a question about the case we’re working on he says “that’s what you have to figure out” and does not answer your question whatsoever and it pisses me off so much because DUDE IM ASKING YOU A QUESTION JUST ANSWER IT

today he said it and I told him “I hate when you say that” and he laughed and repeated it to me just to piss me off with the biggest grin on his face while maintaining eye contact too

but hey, at least after I told him that he started properly answering questions so I think I did everyone a favor, also, when he FINALLY answered my question I told him “see? was it so hard to properly answer the questions?” and he laughed but I do feel like I was a little bit too mean but my classmates thanked me after for it because they were also sick of him not properly answering stuff 😭

ALSO, I was asking him something and I pointed to the paragraph in the book and he like fully put his hand on top of mine to take the book from my hands which was wildly unnecessary tbh

[ransomchmt]

the other day he was answering a question and he said “that’s what you have to figure out” and I laughed because he’s been doing such a good job of answering questions properly and he caught me and mockingly said it again and laughed as well and it was SO cute, I know he’s gonna think of me now when he says that

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H was wearing a plain black tight fitting short sleeve and omfg his muscles showing through, I was distracted during the whole class, he’s just SO fine

[ang3ld0ll222]

i hope he thinks about me sometimes

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met up the other day with an old teacher from hs and he’s really close to M so I asked about him cause it’s been so long since I last saw him or spoke to him and he said M’s doing really good at the new place he works at, that he’s really happy and in the last year(s) of working at my old hs he had started to begin to feel uncomfortable at the place

I felt so fucking sad, because I miss him so fucking much, I don’t know, I want him back to the way it used to be, seeing him every day, speaking with him, listening to him teach history

I just miss everything about him