Rape and Sexual Assault in America

This blog is an effort to raise awareness about slut shaming and victim blaming. Media can either fuel this sensation, or end it. It is up to the people of America to put an end to our rape culture

[durnesque-esque]

#yesallwomen

Because I befriended a boy who then spent our high school years stalking me when I turned him down.

Because that same boy transferred to my high school and made me feel too unsafe to participate in school theater. And then community theater.

Because that same boy left a voicemail on my family’s answering machine ranting about how I must be a lesbian because I wouldn’t go out with him.

Because my dad had to report that phone call to the police.

Because my coworker had to hide me in a closet and stand guard when that same boy was caught hiding in a bush at my work, watching me.

Because nearly everyone (except thankfully my family and friends) excused his behavior as that of a lonely, troubled boy.

Because a male teacher purposefully assigned me a desk where I was surrounded by the three boys who liked to antagonize me the most for all of 10th grade history.

Because my boyfriend bought me police-grade mace and taught me how to escape assault positions my freshman year of college.

Because I’m grateful I graduated high school and college without getting assaulted.

Because even when I’m not carrying mace I hold my keys as a make-shift weapon.

Because I barricade my door at night when traveling alone.

Because my mother and I chose a more expensive third story walk-up in a gated complex because I’m a single female.

Because I still keep three sharp knives in the drawer next to my bed.

Because young men thought it was appropriate to start discussing the ways they’d like to tie me up and use me while at my place of work.

Because my job has a codeword meant specifically for when my coworkers and I need to be rescued from out of line patrons.

Because my friends have been assaulted and raped and refused to report it because “he was a friend” or “no one will believe me.”

Because my church taught me that if I dressed like a piece of meat, I could expect to get thrown down on the barbeque.

I could go on. This list is endless. But the biggest “because” is because men who disagree with this conversation feel like it is a personal attack against them.

Because their need to defend themselves as “one of the good guys” trumps the fact that the “bad guys” have physically and emotionally violated millions of women.

Because proving that they are a “nice guy” is more important than actually being a nice guy.

The point is not that all men are like this. The point is that the offending men have made all women feel unsafe.

Rather than argue that “not all men are like that” join us, fight with us and for us until “no men are like that.”

Here are some links to my favorite (well, not really “favorite” but quality) posts about the issue.

http://jezebel.com/i-am-not-an-angry-feminist-im-a-furious-one-1582748709?utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

http://partimeadventurer.tumblr.com/post/87199422812/rasenth-i-felt-so-angry-at-the-ucsb-massacre

http://madgirlf.tumblr.com/post/74807553342/when-she-was-7-a-boy-pushed-her-on-the-playground

http://voldemortattacks.tumblr.com/post/87067702085/enochiansoul-today-i-was-waiting-in-line-for

http://bubblelumps.tumblr.com/post/87037070039/ijustloveyoutubers-weholytrinititties-hannah

http://whatisperfectanyway.tumblr.com/post/87018197243

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/yesallwomen-twitter-reactions

[leafinthebreeze-deactivated2026]

Hahaha I love how blunt this guy is 😉 #allmencan #yesallwomen #notallmen #rapeculture #consent #feminism

[andersub]

Inspiration {x}{x}

[thisblogisdeadlonglivezorp-deac]

Some of my contributions to the #YesAllWomen movement. It’s time for this shit to come to an end.

[oc-aso-deactivated20150113]

giiirl

[elsaletyoufinish]

#YesAllWomen doesn't mean certain things.

It means that all women have been victims (or nearly all).

It does NOT mean that all men have done those things.

It does NOT mean that no men have been victims.

It does NOT mean that all men must suffer for that.

It does NOT mean that no women have ever done it to other women.

It does NOT mean that women have never done bad things to men.

It does NOT mean that men lose any rights (freedom is not a zero sum game).

[seriouslysupernaturaleh]

[hashtagyesallwomen]

Nearly one in five women say they have been raped or have experienced an attempted rape at some point, and that’s a number that doesn’t include all the men we’ve elbowed, hard, as they touched us, the men with their hands in their pants as we walk by or the ones who reveal themselves on subway platforms and doorsteps. I don’t know a single man who would admit to hollering, “Ooh, I’d like some of that” to a woman on a street, at a beach or anywhere else; I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t heard a version of it.

KJ Dell’Antonia, “With a Hashtag, Women Take On Our Fears for Our Daughters and Ourselves: #YesAllWomen” (NYTimes Motherlode)

[nickgoeshere]

Here’s an example of sexism in the media. It’s very subtle, but it’s insidious, and it’s everywhere.

Men’s washroom and women’s washroom, each with an ad in the mirror. Both ads are for the same car. However, the text is slightly changed - in the men’s, it tells you that you look a million bucks but would look even better in that car. In the women’s, it gives you concern that you’re having a bad hair day but that’d be okay if you had that car.

The men’s ad assumes you’re confident and powerful and tries to optimize that image. The women’s ad undermines your opinion of yourself and tells you how to fix it.

Seriously. That shit is fucked.

[brutereason]

A woman must consider where she is going, what time of day it is, what time she will arrive at her destination and what time she will leave her destination, what day of the week is it, if she will be left alone at any point … the considerations go on and on because they are far more numerous than you or I can imagine. Honestly, I can’t conceive of having to think that much about what I need to do to protect myself at any given moment in my life. I relish the freedom of getting up and going, day or night, rain or shine, Westside or downtown. As men we can enjoy this particular extreme luxury of movement and freedom of choice. In order to understand rape culture, remember this is a freedom that at least half the population doesn’t enjoy.

A Gentlemen’s Guide To Rape Culture — Human Parts — Medium

[filmchrist]

straight boy entitlement

[pardonmewhileipanic]

soooooooo many guys i’ve encountered

SO MANY

[bye9000-deactivated20170123]

oh

[sorayachemaly]

Two weeks ago a man in France was arrested for raping his daughter. She’d gone to her school counselor and then the police, but they needed “hard evidence.” So, she videotaped her next assault. Her father was eventually arrested. His attorney explained, “There was a period when he was unemployed and in the middle of a divorce. He insists that these acts did not stretch back further than three or four months. His daughter says longer. But everyone should be very careful in what they say.” Because, really, even despite her seeking help, her testimony, her bravery in setting up a webcam to film her father raping her, you really can’t believe what the girl says, can you? Everyone “knows” this. Even children. Three years ago, in fly-on-the-wall fashion of parent drivers everywhere, I listened while a 14-year-old girl in the back seat of my car described how angry she was that her parents had stopped allowing her to walk home alone just because a girl in her neighborhood “claimed she was raped.” When I asked her if there was any reason to think the girl’s story was not true, she said, “Girls lie about rape all the time.” She didn’t know the person, she just assumed she was lying… No one says, “You can’t trust women,” but distrust them we do. College students surveyed revealed that they think up to 50% of their female peers lie when they accuse someone of rape, despite wide-scale evidence and multi-country studies that show the incident of false rape reports to be in the 2%-8% range, pretty much the same as false claims for other crimes. As late as 2003, people jokingly (wink, wink) referred to Philadelphia’s sex crimes unit as “the lying bitch unit.” If an 11-year-old girl told an adult that her father took out a Craigslist ad to find someone to beat and rape her while he watched, as recently actually occurred, what do you think the response would be? Would she need to provide a videotape after the fact? It goes way beyond sexual assault as well. That’s just the most likely and obvious demonstration of “women are born to lie” myths. Women’s credibility is questioned in the workplace, in courts, by law enforcement, in doctors’ offices, and in our political system. People don’t trust women to be bosses, or pilots, or employees. Pakistan’s controversial Hudood Ordinance still requires a female rape victim to procure four male witnesses to her rape or risk prosecution for adultery. In August, a survey of managers in the United States revealed that they overwhelmingly distrust women who request flextime. It’s notable, of course, that women are trusted to be mothers—the largest pool of undervalued, unpaid, economically crucial labor.

Soraya Chemaly, How We Teach Our Kids That Women Are Liars (via feminemesis)

[isilence-blog1]

girls who pretend to act stupid because they think it’s cute need to be slapped in the face with a brick

[rapeisrape]

The people that teach those girls that they need to act dumb and inferior to be considered cute by boys need to be hit with a brick.

[ohegarty]

#Feminism is evil. Says the man who murdered 6 women

[lobstergoldblum-deactivated2016]

Can we take serious steps to stop this men’s rights activism thing now?  It’s not just a dumb thing on a corner of the internet to poke and laugh at, it killed seven people.  Seven women are dead because of this entitlement bullshit.  Seven women aren’t alive any more because nobody sat this scumbag down and said, “Nobody owes you attention or sex or anything and people have a right to not want to sleep with you.”

[thentheysaidburnher]

Men believe they are more entitled to access to women than women are entitled to life.

[ohegarty]

#Feminism is evil. Says the man who murdered 6 women