Lizzisms @rapierwitzz-blog - Tumblr Blog

K, I'll rewrite all of my questions so they sound friendlier. Cause right now they all start with "Fuck you." 05.09.13

-LL

I'm so efficient, I'm inefficient. [On moving a little TOO quickly.] 04.23.13

-LL

Yes, let's please release him. I'm not in favor of having someone just suckling on the teet of my job. [In response to an under-performing freelancer.] 04.17.13

-LL

All I do is lose, lose, lose no matter what. [LL’s take on DJ Khaled’s “All I Do Is Win” — representative of our horrid week.] 04.12.13

-LL

There is no emoticon for how I feel right now. I feel like my soul has been hollowed and replaced with sawdust and tar. [In response to a really shitty day and an overwhelmed team.] 04.09.12

-LL

The client was all like, "Just KIDDING!" so we can take it off the menu. [In response to a cancelled project.] 04.09.13

-LL

#flexibility

Me: This SOW looks good -- just a few minor suggestions. Please see attached. LL: Cool, thanks -- I've made the changes in the document. Attached... Also: DAMN IT! Spelling error! I'm sending my scopes through proofing from now on. Or maybe I'll just go back to 5th grade. Me: Back to THIRD grade. I'm kidding. LL: NO! I was an awesome speller until 5th grade when my PARENTS HAD THEIR TERRIBLE DIVORCE! (Makes saddest face ever) 03.13.2013

-LL

#divorcesucks

The answer to every question I got in college was “Edgar Allan Poe.” 04.03.13

-LL

#highereducation

Are you drunk? [In response to my potentially over-enthusiastic presentation to the team.] 03.13

-LL

#directness

I fucking love Adderall. All of my best plays are written on recreational Adderall. [In response to a comment on drugs while waiting for a conference call to start.] 01.29.13

-LL

#drugsarebad

Dear [name], Happy Easter. On this day may your eggs be non-sentient, because eggs weeping as you spoon our their entrails while a baby chick screams from horror is gross. Love, [name]

[In response to "Do you have any ideas for an Easter card?"

03.27.13

#festive

Dear [name], Happy Easter. He is risen!

And, by “he,” I mean “Our Lord Satan.” Love, [name]

[In response to "Do you have any ideas for an Easter card?"

03.27.13

#festive

Dear [name], Happy Easter. May your Easter be less dark and confusing than the memories of these children. Love, [name]

[In response to "do you have any ideas for an Easter card?"]

03.27.13

#festive

It will be my pleasure to archive this, the Teamsite is our scrapbook for project memories. [In response to request to organize documents.] 04.02.13

-LL

#organization

It will be my pleasure to talk project plan with you. In fact, nothing short of Jeremy Renner holding my face in both of his hands, gazing deeply into my eyes and saying, "Lizz you are very pretty, everyone likes you, and you are an awesome playwright. And project manager." would please me more. See you at 4! [In response to "What is the project plan?"] 04.02.13

-LL

#romance

Finance Partners! BIG MONEY has arrived! [In response to a signed SOW.] 02.20.13

-LL

#revenue

You guys - look at this ADORABLE FROG: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBkWhkAZ9ds&feature=youtu.be You have to listen to it with sound on. It's so fucking cute it ALMOST, almost, soothes the pain of our creative resources problems. Thank you Little Squeaky Frog, thank you. Hope things go well at the Tower! [In response to constant complaints about creative resources.] 02.26.13

-LL

#moralebooster

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