🤠 Red Star State? The New "Politburo" of Texas 🇨🇿
Is it just me, or is Texas starting to look a lot like the regimes they claim to hate? Let’s talk about the Texas A&M Board of Regents and their recent ban on Plato. 🏛️🚫
Texas politicians spend all day screaming about "freedom" and the "evils of Communism," but look at the playbook they’re actually using:
The Politburo Model: These "Regents" aren't elected by the people. They are hand-picked by the Governor. It’s a closed circle of loyalists making decisions for the masses. Sound familiar? ☭
The Great Purge (of Books): They banned Plato’s Symposium because it mentions "gender ideology." When a state starts purging 2,400-year-old philosophy because it doesn't fit the "Party line," you’re not in a democracy anymore; you’re in a re-education camp. 📚🔥
Centralized Control: The "Board" now has the power to audit every single syllabus. They’ve turned academic freedom into state-approved messaging.
Why Stalin Would Be Proud: 🧔♂️⭐
Honestly, Joe Stalin couldn't have done it better. Here’s why:
Preemptive Obedience: Stalin loved it when people censored themselves out of fear. Prof. Martin Peterson called it "vorauseilender Gehorsam." When the administration bans books before the government even asks, the "Thought Police" have already won. 👮♂️🧠
Ideology Over Reality: In the USSR, biology had to follow "Lysenkoism" (ideological science). In Texas, philosophy has to follow "Board-ism." If the facts (or the history of Greek love) don't fit the political narrative, you just delete the facts. ✂️
Loyalty Over Expertise: Just like the old Soviet councils, these Regents aren't scholars. They are businessmen and donors. In Texas, a billionaire’s political donation apparently gives them more "wisdom" than a PhD in Philosophy. 💰>📖
They call it "protecting the students," but it’s just State-Run Thought Control. If you’re banning Plato to "own the libs," you’ve accidentally built the very authoritarian machine you promised to fight.
Texas: Where the "Free Market of Ideas" went to die in a boardroom. 💀📉
A philosophy professor, a Soviet commissar, and a member of the Texas Board of Regents die and go to the afterlife. They are comparing how they ran their universities.
The Soviet commissar says: "In my day, we made sure every textbook followed the Party line. If a scientist disagreed with Stalin, we sent him to Siberia. It was simple, effective, and very quiet."
The Texas Regent nods approvingly: "I like your style, but you were too loud about it. In Texas, we call that 'State-Mandated Freedom.' We don't send you to Siberia; we just 'audit' your department until your office is a broom closet and you quit on your own. It's called market-based purging."
The philosophy professor looks at them and sighs: "But what about the Great Thinkers? What about Plato? He’s been dead for thousands of years!"
The Texas Regent leans back, tips his cowboy hat, and says: "Well, that’s where we improved the Soviet model, son. Stalin only cared about what people said today. In Texas, we’re so tough on 'ideology' that we’ve successfully cancelled a guy who’s been dust since 348 BC. Now that is border security for the mind!"