So Edwin’s journal maps are covered with heartbreaking notes:
But what’s fucking me up most is actually this one:
That could possibly say “bad place”, but I think it says “bad. fuck”
Which is just so… raw?
There’s something so horrific there that even with Edwin’s immense vocabulary and his otherwise tidy and restrained notes (that are emotionally vulnerable at points - elsewhere the map says “so lonely” and “tired” and “I hate this door” - but are largely efficient and practical and even when vulnerable are still polite about it), even with that, the only word he can use to describe it is profanity.
There’s something there that made him so frustrated or exhausted or excruciatingly agonized beyond the ability to process or morally disturbed or something that he was reduced to one of the most visceral words in the English language - not the most profane, but the one you default to when there’s such an excess of pain or emotion you can’t even come up with something more profane.
And that fucks me up tbh.