The morning came faster than I wanted it to; though I had called it an early night I couldn’t sleep.
Not when thinking about her kept me up all night.
It was perplexing having to stare at the ceiling all night until sleep finally came to me. At least the perk of being retired is that I could essentially do whatever I felt like. Even if it meant skipping the meeting and catching up on my sleep. But that wasn’t an option for today.
The voice of my youngest son, Senjuro, reminded me that I still had the duty of making lunch and sending him off to class. This was his second year in Junior college and he was doing pretty well. I often mentioned he could go to a university but he seemed more concerned about me than his well-being. But that could be…because 5 years ago, my eldest son, Kyojuro, had a near-death accident caused by my negligence. Since then, I vowed I would do better, seeing him in the hospital fighting for his life made me realize that I had to straighten up. He didn’t blame me, Senjuro didn’t blame me. My employees though, were a different story.
I effectively stepped down as CEO once Kyojuro recovered and he took over while I focused on bettering myself. It wasn’t easy, as the anger and jealousy of seeing the company my father’s father built flourish better without me set in. I couldn’t accept it at first. But after the continued support from my sons…even when there were nights I swore they hated me, I am where I am now.
“Yeah, I’m awake. I’ll be there in a minute.” My door closes, and I get up and get ready for my day. I stare into the mirror, the bags under my eyes clear in view. But it didn’t matter. The meeting today would be quick and I could come back home, unless Kyojuro allowed me to use the office, my old one, to sleep.
I chose to wear a black button-down, navy slacks, and no tie. I also realized that the boots Uzui convinced me to buy went with just about every business and casual outfit I owned. I tied back my hair again and washed my face, meeting my two sons in the kitchen to grab a quick bite of breakfast.
“Good morning father, did you have fun last night?” Kyojuro was bright and sunny as usual, smiling and packing his lunch for him and Senjuro.
“Here’s your tea.” Senjuro chimes in as he sets the cup at my spot at the table. I nod while taking a sip, sighing as the aroma itself perks me up.
“I won’t be doing that again. That man has too much energy for both of us.”
This was a lie. I had to go back.
Kyojuro laughed and sat down while biting into an apple. “I knew he’d be the perfect man to go out with. He’s quite entertaining.”
Senjuro looks over at his older brother, smiling and expressing his excitement as well. I sit in silence and listen to them talk, grateful that I could experience this with them. Before now, something like this would be impossible due to my consistent drunken late nights out and passing out at the office.
“So father, did you not truly enjoy it? I noticed you came home early.” Kyojuro takes another bite from his apple and tilts his head toward me curiously.
“No, it was too noisy, too many young people. It’s not my lifestyle.” I said, taking another sip of my tea.
“No one even hit on you?” asked Senjuro after swallowing his food. I choke slightly on my tea, my mind flashing to my lips having the luxury to grace that woman’s hand. Once I recovered, I answered quickly.
“No. Your father unfortunately is too old and out of his element. I think it’s over for me.”
Senjuro rolls his eyes and finishes the last bite of his breakfast before standing. “You’re being a bit dramatic, Dad. If you ask me, I can’t keep them away from me. Maybe I should get old and be out of my element too. I could focus on my classwork more.”
Kyojuro crossed his arms with a quick nod toward his younger brother. “You can do it, Senjuro. If you focus hard enough, you’ll be able to balance both work and play.”
As my sons continued to speak amongst themselves, I stood up to pour myself another cup of tea. I didn’t understand why it was distressing to admit to my flesh and blood that I met someone and didn’t dare to get their number or ask them out on a formal date. How ridiculous it was to be a middle-aged man of 45 years, who had trouble speaking to a woman after being a widow for nearly a decade.
I pushed it from my mind, locking up our front door and heading to the car with one goal on my mind. To get to this meeting with Kyojuro and find a place to get some adequate sleep. After we dropped off Senjuro, we made it to our corporate building which wasn’t too far from the same lounge I visited last night. Only two blocks away. As we both parked in the reserved spot in the parking garage, there were already two men waiting for us. One man with glasses approached Kyojuro and bowed, introducing himself as the other did shortly.
They both actively gave me a silent bow, acknowledging my existence but not making an effort to speak to me. That’s how it always was. Kyojuro would get most of the respect, while I was met with uncomfortable stares and the bare minimum of politeness. I walked a few steps behind as I observed Kyojuro chat with the two men easily, laughing and speaking about the next goals of the company, our sales revenue, things I no longer had a part of other than overseeing decisions as a shareholder. But this was the core of my hard work, continuing through my son. I couldn’t help but be proud of him.
As we reached the main meeting room, I froze right where I stood when I heard her sweet, recognizable voice.
It was. Jet black tight curls that reached her shoulders, the same full lips, dark brown eyes, and voice that captivated me so vividly just the night before. Even the pantsuit that she wore fit her curves so deliciously, I had to stop myself from drooling.
“Oh,___, glad you could make it. You haven’t met my father yet, our previous CEO?” Kyojuro smiled at her and turned toward me. Once our eyes met for just a moment, I could see the surprised look on her face. The electricity that was between us at this moment was so strong I almost buckled to the floor.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Shinjuro Rengoku.” I managed to introduce myself and held out my hand, and she took it without hesitation. The same softness, the jump in my chest filling my head with static. I had to calm myself down or I’d lose it. I couldn’t embarrass my son, nor myself in front of her and the others. She speaks to me kindly, stating her full name. I took my hand away before anyone noticed I held it longer than one should.
“She started last week, my newest secretary since my last one quit and moved abroad. We don’t have many foreigners working here, but I’ll make sure she feels like part of the team.” Kyojuro smiled confidently as the other employees clapped, welcoming her warmly. I’m glad they ignored my body language as I struggled to sit in the empty seat next to my son. Only because she was sitting to my left.
I could smell her, the light scent of berries, cream, and something else I could only guess was some kind of spice that wafted over to me each time she shifted. She was listening to the presentation with full focus, the light sighs and steady breaths and her chest moving up and down gracefully.
I focus on the table, but her hand rests there. Her manicured fingers are the same as I remember when I first saw them that night. I watched them tap tediously on the glass top, only to pull back when she realized she was doing so. I held my breath when she shifted once more.
Stop staring or…
When her lips parted to speak, I felt something rise in my belly. She wasn’t saying anything sexual, it was just business, and yet. As I listened to her, that feeling inside of me traveled down south, my pants suddenly feeling tight, my cock swelling against the fabric.
Shit.
I adjusted myself to hide further into the table, but the chair I sat in wouldn’t move.
Shit. When she stopped speaking, I noticed a glance in my direction, and then she saw me adjust myself again and for a moment I saw the reaction in her eyes as she then focused forward. She’d seen the print in my pants, and I knew by that look it was more obvious than I wanted it to be.
I raised my hand toward Kyojuro to stop the presentation.
“Excuse me, I’m not feeling well.”
My son furrowed his brow in worry but excuse me, the rest of our colleagues expressionlessly watching me as I quickly left the room. I made my way to the restroom that was down the hall, finding the restroom and panting from the brisk walk. I groaned once I saw myself in the mirror, a full erection pressed against the left side of my pants. I never had this issue before at work, then again I was always focused, or drunk before. And she wasn’t here back then.
I go to the sink and splash cool running water on my face, hoping I will still myself. This was shameful and if I could see it clearly, I’m sure that was what she saw during the meeting. Of all fucking things in this world, I did not want to be known as the perverted older man that had a hard-on during meetings while staring at pretty women. After a few minutes, the throbbing member in my pants ceased. I stepped outside and leaned against the wall as I noticed the meeting came to an end, and I saw her again. She was smiling at the two men who greeted my son and me at our car, my jealousy rising.
What could they possibly be speaking about? Why do I care?
She caught me staring and looked away to greet Kyojuro as he joined the conversation. I looked over toward the direction of the executive office, where I planned on taking my well-needed nap. The issue was, I had to walk past them to get there.
What are you scared of? Just go.
With a stoic look and stiff shoulders, I made my way past the group, the two men ignoring me while my son called out to stop me.
“Oh, wait, father. ____ wanted to speak with you?”
I turned to them, my eyes immediately focusing on her before I addressed my son. “I’m not available to speak at the moment. She will have to schedule an appointment.”
“I wasn’t aware that you had to make an appointment to see someone who barely works here.”
One of the men spoke with a sarcastic tone which pissed me off instantly. Normally, I’d tear him a new one, but I had to maintain control in front of her. It wasn’t just about my image troubling my son anymore.
“It’s alright, I’ll go over a time for you two to speak. I have a task for her to complete anyway. Thank you.” Kyojuro ignored the comment from the other employee who glanced at me before walking off in a different direction.
____ turned to me, bowing politely as she let me know how she looked forward to meeting with me at a later time. My insides were waging war, fighting that feeling so I wouldn’t make a damn fool of myself and get hard again.
Calm down, calm down.
I dismissed myself and walked to the executive office room, slamming the double doors and locking them behind me as I sighed out loud. I had just made it before I could feel myself once again…pressed against my fucking pants.
Why the fuck is this happening?
My libido was that of a younger man again. I felt like I could take on anything, is that how new romance felt at this age? Or was this simply a product of a mature man’s lust that had been dormant this entire time? It didn’t matter what it was, I had to get rid of it.
