Prima Facie

My thoughts, with the volume turned all the way up.

[rareplus]

Cocaine is good, my brother. REAL REAL good. First time I tried it, I be like, “Whooooo nelly, I’d suck yo dick for more if you wasn’t such a ugly muthafucka.”

Overheard at IHOP

[rareplus]

Rubio needed that drink because his pants were on fire.

[rareplus]

Front Til You Can't Front Anymore

We are rewarded for hiding ourselves. We become the poster children for “productive” mentally ill people, because we are so organized and together. The fact that we can function, at great cost to ourselves, is used to beat up the people who cannot function. Because unlike the people who cannot front, or who fronted too hard and fell off the cliff, we are able to “keep it together,” whatever it takes. Ferocious organization and minute to minute daily scheduling are how I deal with it, forcing myself to go and go and go until I crash at night. Because if I stop, for a second, everything starts to fall apart. And some days I wake up and realize that I just cannot go. And I don’t want to tell anyone, because that cracks the facade and alerts everyone to the fact that I am fronting. I know my fellow fronters when I see them and we nod at each other, aware that behind every light-hearted Tweet and friendly email may lie acute emotions, stuffed down deep inside so they doesn’t explode. It leaves you raw and prickly a lot of time because you spend so much energy controlling and suppressing that when something disrupts you, you are totally unequipped to handle it. - [s.e. smith](http://www.xojane.com/issues/front-til-you-cant-front-anymore)

[rareplus]

Weed So Good, You'll Forget to Pay Child Support

Pot Cultivator: It's the best strain, I call it "Deadbeat."

Me: How'd you come up with that?

Pot Cultivator: The mother plant is Black Domina, and the father is Grand Daddy Purple. Black...Daddy. Hence, “Deadbeat.”

Me: Damn dude...

Pot Cultivator: I thought of calling it "Welfare," but good taste prevailed.

[rareplus]

Personal Injury...A Little Too Personal

Me: Tell me about your pain and suffering.

Client: The day after the accident, I had three bowel movements instead of just two.

Me: I don’t think you can claim damages based on an extra bowel movement.

Client: But it was a scary one.

[rareplus]

Mos Def - Ms. Fat Booty Heard this song I when woke up and it made my morning. When it first came out, I couldn't get it out of my head for a month.