Esther's Cringe Blog

- On the internet, I pretend to be a rat named Esther - - She/Her | 19 | Concept Art Student | Mostly reblogs | Only art : @button-mouse-art or #my art -

[batshaped]

Unrequited

bsky mirror

[koifee]

So a wizard and an ancient construct walk into a tavern.

[strangerconnection]

@ratinaverysillyhat OKAY i have one million other ideas & thoughts but. go my this i needed to finish these doodles bad

Jabez is. oh my god hes the worst ever. He loves to get in peoples faces and accuse them of enjoying what's happening. "Ya like hurting them, I know ya do. Cry and whine and apologize but yer just faking it! Crocodile tears, just like DE36.2! It likes being hurt, yer doing it a favor. It's made for this!"

He'd try to get it to fight, try to goad simona to resist and fight back just to show him how easily he can beat him down. or, worse, hurt puppet worse. Then in the same breath he'll hook an arm around her neck and laugh about it, how they were having so much fun and aren't we all just great friends? he treats puppet like less of a person than he treats simona and just. guh. really rubs that in its face. he wants simona to retaliate. it loves a good fight, loves to work to beat the life outta folks, see all the hope slip from their eyes.

Jabez is an integral part of teaching everyone on montoli island that they're not only an object, but a toy!!! you are a number, a role, an object, a tool, a toy. but never quite a person.

[ratinaverysillyhat]

SQUEALSS OUHH MY GODD…. JABEZ you awful awful man, clutches my HAIRRRR

Goddd, him goading Simona into a fruitless fight… My heart shattered seeing how Puppet just stays there, so silent like it was trained to do, like she has done a million times before. Just a ragdolly to him.

Neverrr gonna be normal about Jabez sometimes acting like they’re buddies, like they’re punishing Puppet together. Then turning around and taunting it. Poor Simi wants to believe he’s nothing like him, that Puppet knows he doesn’t mean it. And yet he can’t help but wonder.

Simona makes a wonderful chewtoy for Jabez, huh. A toy that can repair itself, ready to be torn apart all over again. Especially one that’s so easy to pit against one of his favourite toys! But even then, Simona will eventually stretch herself thin trying to replace what’s been yanked out, or scarred, or crumbled to dust… I suppose that’s where the feeding and surgical interventions come in.

Can’t stop THINKING ABOUT THE CHARACTER INTERACTIONS. I’ll also eventually try to verbalise my thoughts on what you said about her interacting with the other assistants/“tools” too feralferal

[ratinaverysillyhat]

@strangerconnection “Sometimes, it’s better to not feel anything at all.”

Forgive me for the one million notifications,,, When I read your responses and ideas for how they would interact, I just haaad to doodle my Simi getting bullied on Montoli island again <3

Ouhh… Simona would definitely be rattled by how long Montoli island has been implied to operate. But I think talking to Charles would finally mark the turning point for his mindset. How he’s already tried stopping them from hurting Puppet, but they both just became one more project, one more factor. And now, so will Simona.

Then… maybe if it stops fighting back, it can convince itself that it’s still helping people in the middle of all this. Helping Puppet. And Simona will try so hard to get away with “soothing” her patients as she cuts them open… hum lullabies to drown out their screams… He’ll definitely be getting attached to them either way.

[ratinaverysillyhat]

Rat day today ……

[ratinaverysillyhat]

Birthday art piece for Cassie/@cynicspn/wayward_sun!!

Happy broth day, silly. Have soup.

[strangerconnection]

@ratinaverysillyhat ouuhhhhhhh. SHAKES THEM SO HARD

[ratinaverysillyhat]

OHHH MY GODDD OH MY GODD gnawing on my enclosure THESE POOR BABIESSS…..

AGHH I ADORE THESE SKETCHES SO MUCH I’M GONNA CRYYYY /POSITIVE

Simona being chosen as one of the assistants to Puppet’s surgery WAUGHHUUU. They’re being forced to hurt each-other over and over again but they still stick to each-other. Because what other choice did they have? And for Simona… Puppet would be the only thing she has left.

Then JABEZ TAUNTING SIMONA. Being reduced not only to a number but also its role. Jabez holding Puppet’s health over its head like blackmail. THIS IS GONNA MAKE ME SIIIIICKKKK.

Oobhh and the doodle in the top right corner SOBSSS PUPPETS LITTLE BLANKETTTT. THE LITTLE NERVE HAND WRAPPING AROUND PUPPET. SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU. How Simona would have adored Puppet if he met it before he was taken… I wonder if it ever reminds him of Doll.

They’re just. Both so lonely and scared. Of their situations, of each-other…

I am PACING AROUND. I am GRABBING AND SHAKING THEM. THANK YOUUU THANK YOUUUU

[strangerconnection]

YEAS.... made to hurt each other so badly when they Don't Want To.. They'd probably have Simona work on other subjects with them occasionally too. Let her still feed, just to keep her around. Not only would Simona be having to hurt puppet, but it'd get a look at how deeply she's been Changed by them. Fucking Ow. its no wonder it wheezes with how tight those layers of ribs compact its lungs

And God. Jabez. Jabez would be so terrible throughout this considering Puppet is one of the people he targets very, very intentionally. He'd probably humanize Simona Slightly more compared to how he does Puppet but. Honestly that makes things worse sometimes. Going from snickering, hooking an arm around her shoulder to snarling and screaming in her face about treating Puppet 'too well.' "Gotta teach you how to beat it proper, teach it a lesson, huh? Too soft on it! Needs punishment to work."

And his threats, sometimes nothing comes of them, but there is always the potential that he enacts them. It's unpredictable. How he can shift his demeanor much more drastically than Moreau. Perfectly capable of some level of manipulation. He's more controlled than you'd think.

Oh Puppet hates to see Simona hurt. It can't help but feel as though it's dragged Simona into this, that if it weren't for it, he'd not be being treated this badly. this specifically. and still it can't just pull away, it cares too much, it can't stand to see Simona hurt but. The hurt that it causes under others instructions is at least... predictable? It doesn't know. It just knows that it is so sorry and it doesnt want to hurt him.. THEY'RE BOTH SO LONELY AND SCARED....

[ratinaverysillyhat]

GRAGHHHHH… Godddddd… Especially now that Simona will actively be making it WORSE. She’ll have to watch Puppet barely able to stop collapsing underneath itself, worsened by the operations SHE helped with. Operations that probably made her so satiated, she felt disgusted at herself.

GGRABBING Jabez by the shoulders. And goddd he’s terrifying in his own right. His controlled unpredictability, chumminess to violence to snideness. Of course Simona’s own compassion for Puppet landed him right in the middle of his crosshairs. It probably defended itself and Puppet too… at least in the first week, before it realised how pointless it was. But you can argue as thoughtfully, as rationally as you want, and it won’t matter when the outcome has been decided for you.

Oughhh Puppet and the conflicting messages it’s now getting between her “older brother figure” and Simona…

I keep imagining Jabez yanking Simona by her exposed nerves, sneering at her main defences also being her main vulnerability. She’s just inviting herself to harm, bein’ such a sensitive type. Then when he sees how softly he speaks to the subjects he’s operating on, or how he tries to soothe them with sedating tendrils. Especially when it’s Puppet. Hah. What kind of defective avatar wants to lessen its victims’ fear?

And the fact that Dr. Moreau knows exactly how Simona usually feeds, its favourite combination of fear, comfort in spite of cruelty, repulsion but a desire to stay… and then how much distress it would cause for Simona to eventually be broken into their desired shape. I keep thinking about how they could have chosen any sadistic avatar surgeon to be their newest project. But they chose the avatar that got attached to sobbing figure that came to kidnap it.

Feralferalferal but I’m struggling to come up with the words for how I feel about everything. WAUGHHH

[strangerconnection]

@ratinaverysillyhat ouuhhhhhhh. SHAKES THEM SO HARD

[ratinaverysillyhat]

OHHH MY GODDD OH MY GODD gnawing on my enclosure THESE POOR BABIESSS…..

AGHH I ADORE THESE SKETCHES SO MUCH I’M GONNA CRYYYY /POSITIVE

Simona being chosen as one of the assistants to Puppet’s surgery WAUGHHUUU. They’re being forced to hurt each-other over and over again but they still stick to each-other. Because what other choice did they have? And for Simona… Puppet would be the only thing she has left.

Then JABEZ TAUNTING SIMONA. Being reduced not only to a number but also its role. Jabez holding Puppet’s health over its head like blackmail. THIS IS GONNA MAKE ME SIIIIICKKKK.

Oobhh and the doodle in the top right corner SOBSSS PUPPETS LITTLE BLANKETTTT. THE LITTLE NERVE HAND WRAPPING AROUND PUPPET. SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU. How Simona would have adored Puppet if he met it before he was taken… I wonder if it ever reminds him of Doll.

They’re just. Both so lonely and scared. Of their situations, of each-other…

I am PACING AROUND. I am GRABBING AND SHAKING THEM. THANK YOUUU THANK YOUUUU

[ratinaverysillyhat]

@strangerconnection Okay, I swear I had this idea in mind before you made a text post about it WAGH, but… They’re making me so.. :(((

(Again, I hope I did Puppet justice! I always get nervous about writing characters that aren’t mine)

[strangerconnection]

AUGH. AUUUUHHHHHH HOWLS AT THE MOON AND FALLS 2 THE FLOOR. oh im so unwell about them..... yu did so well have no fear..

oh puppet..... it is so sad so distraught... asking why he's being so nice. it absolutely would. "TOOLS NEED TO BE CARED FOR TOO"... AUGH. oh the way puppet makes itself so small curling in on itself, leaned over n clutching its head. THE WAY SIMONA CALLS IT HONEY...

and i just know puppet would stammer and sputter in response, gears turning as it tries to sputter out a way to refute it. that its designed to not need to be cared for, something, but it'd probably get lost in the sobbing.

im forever unwell about simona calling it honey, calling it honeycomb, anything kindly. it's so used to being called demeaning things that it almost doesnt compute in its head. but when it does it either flinches away or melts into it. FALLS TO THE FLOOR

[ratinaverysillyhat]

@strangerconnection Okay, I swear I had this idea in mind before you made a text post about it WAGH, but… They’re making me so.. :(((

(Again, I hope I did Puppet justice! I always get nervous about writing characters that aren’t mine)

[ratinaverysillyhat]

I should probably start posting art on socials huh!!

[strangerconnection]

@ratinaverysillyhat ohhh explodes into one million pieces. IM SO UNWELL ABOUT THEM i needed to do smth ABOUT THIS /silly... yap session under the cut

sorry i #lovecharacters

GOD. the little note that simona would've probably taken puppet under its wing under other circumstances AUGHHHH. and then the little dialogue of "i'm in trouble"...

it would be in trouble. probably for some arbitrary reason but in trouble nonetheless. punished for concussing Simona even though other assistants harm other people way worse in the process of taking them to montoli island....

Puppet feels so awful and would want so desperately to make up for what it's done even if its not always allowed. i thiink in this case dr. moreau would probably let puppet try to care for Simona. They'd want to see what kind of relationship they'd develop methinks. either way puppet is weeping and apologizing and trying to do whatever they can to do what they think would make simona feel better. within what its allowed to do...

PUPPET IS SO SORRY </3

[ratinaverysillyhat]

OHH MY GOD OH MY GODD LOOKITTHEMM OUHH THEY’RE MAKING MY HEART BLEED… I NEED TO YELL /pos

Simona reaching towards Puppet, but hesitating. How do you comfort someone who’s used to any touch and call being dangerous… how do you comfort someone whose face you still associate with your kidnapping, no matter how much you empathise with it?

“You can hurt me, I understand” SHAKES YOU.

Godd and the way you drew Simona… Dishevelled, vulnerable, scared… already so different from the composed, extroverted monster he was.

YESYEYSS YOU NOTICED THE LITTLE DIALOGUE!! You weaved all my little notes and hints tidily together, I feel so warm and giddy… DEVASTATED AT PUPPET’S PUNISHMENT. THE DEHUMANISATION. JABEZ YOU LITERALLY PULLED SOMEONE’S ARM OFFF. Jabez when I get you Jabez

DR MOREAU TAUNTING SIMONA WITH THE WEDDING NECKLACE TOOO EVIL. EVIL. GRAAEUGHH

I’ll try responding more coherently tomorrow morning but. OHH MY GAWDDDD I’M GOING TO CRYYY /pos

[chalroe]

From Lost In Translation by @quekerahkerah (which is so fun, go read it rn!!!)

[crabussy]

when you get crazy enough about The Character you'd think the situations you imagine them in would get more elaborate and lore intensive. but no. imagining my wizard pacing around huffily being slightly peeved at a mild inconvenience. I don’t even know what the inconvenience IS. and it's giving me enough joy to power a city for a month

[crabussy]

you understand this post more than anyone else

[strangerconnection]

Apologies

(AF revenge on @ratinaverysillyhat!)

[ratinaverysillyhat]

The the. The. The rat woman was too stunned to speak

[strangerconnection]

It's a Monster!

(AF attack on @ratinaverysillyhat)

[ratinaverysillyhat]

LOOOK LOOK IT’S MY CREATURE HANGING OUT WITH THY CREATURE THEY’RE HAVING SO MUCH FUN <3 (Simona is about to lose several body parts)

[dunmeshistash]

Izutsumi is aroace, you agree with me, happy pride.