Ben Talks: A Deep Dive Into One of the Most Disturbing Scenes Between Harry and Dumbledore in the Entire Series
There is a scene in book 7, The Half-Blood Prince, in which Harry goes to Dumbledore’s office for one of his “lessons” about Voldemort’s past. In this specific meeting, Dumbledore asks if Harry has managed yet to retrieve the memory from Professor Slughorn. What follows is a fairly short back-and-forth that took me THREE DAYS to get through, because I found it genuinely so upsetting that after almost every sentence, I had to put the book down and walk away.
Here are a couple of excerpts from this section, barely more than a page long, which I want to address directly:
A hot, prickly feeling of shame spread from the top of Harry’s head all the way down his body. Dumbledore had not raised his voice, he did not even sound angry, but Harry would have preferred him to yell; this cold disappointment was worse than anything.
Silence fell between them again, the most uncomfortable silence Harry had ever experienced with Dumbledore; it seemed to go on and on, punctuated only by the little grunting snores of the portrait of Armando Dippet over Dumbledore’s head. Harry felt strangely diminished, as though he had shrunk a little since he had entered the room. When he could stand it no longer he said, “Professor Dumbledore, I’m really sorry. I should have done more … I should have realised you wouldn’t have asked me to do it if it wasn’t really important.” “Thank you for saying that, Harry,” said Dumbledore quietly. “May I hope, then, that you will give this matter higher priority from now on?“ […] I’ll do it, sir, I’ll get it from him,” Harry said earnestly. “Then we shall say no more about it just now,” said Dumbledore more kindly.
Dumbledore firstly expects Harry to be able to accomplish a task he himself could not manage, a task that he does not even need done. Dumbledore already knew Voldemort had made multiple horcruxes, he already knew what most of them were, and already suspected Voldemort had intended a total of seven. He does not need this memory. And yet, despite all that, he still expresses deep disappointment in Harry, which he uses to make Harry feel ashamed.
He strips away all his warmth, kindness, and friendliness that he usually gives Harry, until Harry says what Dumbledore wants to hear (I messed up, I should’ve listened to you, I’ll do better next time). And the moment Harry says these things, Dumbledore goes back to normal and acts as if none of it happened.
This is what my abuser did to me. He was my school administrator as well as the high school teacher (it was a private christian school, every employee played multiple roles). He would bring me into his office, impress upon me the ways I had let him down (whatever it was that day, and I never understood what I had done wrong) and then would sit in cold silence until I broke down in tears and promised to do better, to be better, to never let him down again. He would force me to sit in the feeling of shame he manufactured, and once I gave in and validated his berating, he would go back to being the “kind”, warm, friendly teacher I usually knew.
I was left feeling drained and emotionally exhausted, and like I could not trust myself to make decisions, because he taught me that I was always going to make the wrong one.
This is emotional abuse. It is disgusting that Rowling wrote this and uses it to portray Dumbledore as the benevolent, understanding mentor who does not even shout when he’s displeased (he just gets cold and distant instead). It shows her complete lack of understanding of what healthy dynamics and relationships look like.
It also is yet another way in which she modeled Dumbledore after the Christian God without realizing how blatantly this proves that her version of God is inherently abusive.
I was taught growing up that if you turn from God, if you choose to live in sin, he cannot or will not even hear your prayers. He withdraws completely, removing all his so-called “love” until you capitulate and prostrate yourself before him again.
I say it again: This. Is. Abuse.
It is one of the less visible forms. It does not involve screaming or physical violence or gaslighting. That does not make it any less harmful.
