rat n rabbit @ratnrabbit - Tumblr Blog

Funny sounding car plate

(Looking at a car plate number on the road BBB888)

W: Hong Kong people has such funny car plates, it sounds so funny (reading out BBB888)

W: I’m gonna get a funny sounding car plate too, B6B6B6 (spoken quickly in canto).

W: then when the police is chasing after me, they will go on the radio “ngo yee ga jui gun gar che, che pai B6B6B6” “Har? Meh che pai Wah?” “B6B6B6 ah!” “Har?”

W: that’s super funny

C: -.-

Shorts turned hot pants, sexy eh

We are building Bun Bun’s crib!

Phone number

C: Should I put my phone number on the mailbox so the postman can contact me if they can’t fit a package in?

W: Yeah you can... but random people will call

C: What kind of random people?

W: “喂，小姐，起身屙尿啊“

C: You have the potential to be a creep...

No crumbs on your plate

W: why is your plate always unfinished, look at all those crumbs

C: I finished! It’s just one piece of rice

W: look at my plate, it’s squeaky clean, that’s why your face is so nice

W: you never clean your plate, look what you did to my face

C: I think your face is “leng”

W: it’s not about “leng” it’s about more “leng”

C: -.-

The Dog’s Self Esteem

(in the apartment corridor) C: oo so smelly W: yeah i feel bad for the dogs (好慘啊D狗) W: no wonder their self esteem is so low (唔掛得之佢哋無自尊心啦) C: what do you mean? W: if I’m so smell, my self esteem will also be so low (如果我咁臭我都會無自尊心)

Finish your food

W is always complaining that C doesn’t lick the bowl clean after meals.

W: look at your bowl, there’s a piece here and here and here

W: (points at own face) look at this, I look like this coz of you. (Points at C’s face) and you look like that coz of me.

LOL...

Your face

Mom: what’s wrong with your face, full of spots

C: yeah I have my period

M: it’s coz you sleep late, Lei tai ha nei gor face!

W: hai lor, ho choi lei git Jor fun jeh, Lei tai ha nei gor face!

Bets

W: (looking between the building gaps on the hill) look that’s P sam’s place, behind the fancy building

C: no P sam’s place is before the fancy building not after

W: you wanna bet? I’m 100% sure, I can bet all my belongings and every fibre of my being, if I lose you can own all of that.

*pause*

W: if you lose, I have control of all your clothes, and I can cut up anything I want. Now how sure are you?

C: I’m super sure, but I don’t want to bet my clothes

W: that means you’re not sure, I’m super super sure, 100%, there is zero chance I will be wrong.

C: no! I’m so sure I just always factor in the 0.01 chance

W: then admit that I am right.

C: let’s check on google maps

W: no! Admit that I am right!

C: no we can check!

W: admit to your defeat!

C: fine, I just don’t want to bet my clothes. Let’s check. (Fumbles through google maps) see? I’m right

W: oh.. okay yeah you’re right. But you caved, i was so sure I talked myself into believing it. You have no poker face and you lost your confidence. (More rambling)

C: but I was right!

W: you have the moral victory. But I have the overwhelming victory. Muahahahhaa

How to extend the battery life of alkaline battery.

According to W, when the battery is out, just stick it under your armpits and let it warm for a few minutes and try again. Apparently, the heat activates it.

Not sure why it has to be the armpits but who am I to argue.

W’s hidden skill of being able to poke a hole into a sealed plastic balloon, blow more air in and reseal it back.

What happens to the buffalo poo?

We were discussing the above, and W suggested that I can ask the rubbish lady next time in Cantonese.

W: how would you ask in Cantonese?

C: what do you mean? Like “Lee Dee see lor hui bin ga?”

W: that’s so crude!

C: how else would you phrase it then?

W: or... lee Dee ngau funn le, hai Mai....

C: ... you didn’t even finish the sentence

W: I’m cultured, “seung dung yun”, you’re obviously a “bread pudding” (reference to C’s mom’s comment on bread pudding being an uncultured food)

The dragon with a tummy

Sacrificial love

W’s dream, in first person:

We were going through the covid pandemic together, and somehow, we all had a body with us - dead body.

It’s a bit gruesome, but for some reason we had to dissect the body and it was essential and it had to be a clean cut. It was life and death essential, something to do with being able to get a vaccine or something.

And you (C) as your messy self, obviously messed it up and there was blood everywhere, very messy. And given how essential it was to have a clean cut body, it was very sacrificial for me, I gave you my clean cut.

The end.