[supremelordoveralldinosaurs]

[valtsv]

hozier songs are like *blows kiss to the forest* that’s for my baby *throws molotov cocktail at car* AND THAT’S FOR THE REVOLUTION

[whatismgmt]

[lemongrad]

If your textbook is still teaching you the french word for legwarmers, it’s probably short on foreign texting etiquette. 

FUN STORY: so back in high school we had such a textbook, and it tried to be ‘hip’ and ‘with it’, so one of the vocab words for a chapter was “chouette”, which the book said was a slang term equivalent of “cool” in english. Well later in the year we had some french exchange students visiting for a while, and we had to sit in a circle and discuss cultural differences. and somehow the subject of slang came up, and someone asked how the french say ‘cool’. 

It’s just “cool”. when we told them our textbook had the word “chouette” in it, they laughed. 

apparently its pretty dated, and roughly equivalent to the word “groovy”

[orriculum]

My friend was shuffling a new tarot deck and she said excitedly “I cant wait to see what sort of bond I have with this deck!” And then the first card she pulled was the fool

[circegrimoire]

yall really gonna expose me like this huh

[orriculum]

what else am i gonna do

[rabdoidal]

[willow]

“mom, I’m hungry” “make yourself something”

[extraordinaryxmen]

the fact that keanu reeves rejected being on mcu multiple times but said yes to be on a sponge bob movie just shows how truly powerful he is

[shakespork]

i know i wouldnt survive in an austen novel because someone would be britishly, discretely rude to me and i would be completely unable to restrain myself from calling them a cunt to their face

[shakespork]

my detested rival: why, madam, you look so drawn and pale today! does the small size of your estate not give you enough freedom to take in the sun?

me: listen you waxy, lemon-faced bitch,,

[stablesky]

He's doing his best

[whitepeopletwitter]

[unclefather]

why do people think that planned parenthood is this dimly lit back alley clinic where witches live and they love to just hand out free abortions like…. it’s a regular doctors office. You can get condoms there. I’ve never even seen a witch there

[chillgamesh-the-swing]

with your support we can ensure every planned parenthood has a certified witch on staff

[non-state-actor]

[faggotri]

honestly the best thing i’ve done in the past year was replacing “i wanna die” with “i wanna commit a crime.” same humor and sentiment without the suicidal ideation

[faggotri]

thank you SO much for this tag

[greenbriaraddicted]

okay but cardan's letters SHATTERED my heart into a million pieces

[inkandpapermagic]

Cardan breaking the Blood Crown in front of the High Court (2019, colorized). 

[cabeswater-and-camaros]

🚨I AM ABOUT TO SPOIL QoN🚨

please just keep scrolling if don’t want to be spoilt

So a lot of shit happened and honestly I’m going to be crying for at least a week so here is A List Of Things That Sound Like Fake Spoilers But Are Actually Canon:

Oak plays Rocket League

Jude keeps wearing Cardan’s clothes

Jude makes a period excuse to scare a male faerie

Jude falls through the roof and lands on a table and Cardan shouts “sHe Is My WiFe!!”

Jurdan being an old married couple “Jude likes to suppose the worst of both her enemies and her allies. Her reward is occasionally being wrong about us” “Hard to remember an occasion of that”

Taryn tells Cardan about slushies and gummy worms

Jude gets hippie earth powers

Jude used to make her dolls have sex

“Darling god” upgrades to “sweet nemesis”

Cardan calling Jude “my queen”

Jude tops Cardan

Cardan has a snow globe from Vivi that says “Congratulations on your promotion” that he got when he became high king

Cardan turns into a snake

Jude fantasises about hiding under a table with Cardan

Dick/snake songs

Vivi, Oak and Heather force Cardan and Jude to go to the mortal world where they have a pizza party to celebrate their marriage

[mos-ona-rok]

Grima Mog aka Murder Grandma

[matthewsradish]

“You’re a liar,” he says, eyes glittering with fury. “A dirty, mortal liar.”

My heart squeezes when I think about the fact that Cardan was mad that Jude lied about getting out of the camp and getting herself hurt and NOT because he thought she tried to kill him