eye of the storm

Ravi Varadkar || 28 || He/Him

[ravi-varadkar]

nazbulut​:

“It’s not as if Mallory is exactly a tourist destination.” Naz can’t imagine what customers a Mallory hotel gets beyond things like teenagers renting a room to drink on prom night, cheating spouses, things like that, the sorts of stuff everyone will gossip about after church the next day. Not that she frequents the same churches as a lot of the population of Mallory, hardly a practicing Muslim in the first place.

“I don’t think fixing printer jams is an inherent skill anyway,” Naz says reassuringly, pulling out pieces of shredded and crinkled paper as she comes across it inside of the printer. She’s usually a bit unimpressed when people can’t navigate google enough to figure out how to do something, but a printer is sort of a different story.

“So… a summer school? Or like a community center?” That’s the only assumption she comes to, but she thinks that’s quite admirable, to teach something so creative. Naz likes to consider herself fairly creative, but she’d never label herself an artist. “Do you teach how to make art, or just about art as a subject?” Equally admirable.

Naz finishes the printer, closing the door on the front of it, pleased when it starts whirring back to life. “I’m an event planner in New York City. Rather high profile events, to be completely honest.” And she’s traveled for it too, but she doesn’t want to come across as bragging. “I started off as an intern though, when I was in school. Interns always have to unstick the printers. Try it now.”

x

“I dunno... This week, at least, it seems like it might be. Everyone seems to be in town.” Ravi pointed out before he could stop himself. It felt a bit tasteless to say, even if it wasn’t said with malice. 

“I have to disagree. You’re using your quick thinking and problem solving skills. Also hand eye coordination. Which is very important to have. I’ve spent enough time running into things and slamming my fingers into drawers and doors to know.” Ravi admitted, watching in awe as Naz pulled out a crumpled and sad looking paper. He wondered which part of the lesson plan it was. It probably wasn’t salvageable but he hated the idea of just wasting the paper. 

“A bit of both? More the second one though.” Ravi admitted, trying to figure out how to explain it to the woman in front of him. “It’s... it started as a group that would help train arts educators and make them want to stay in upstate New York instead of going somewhere else like New York City. And then it grew and became an after school and summer school too. Kids come in and learn everything from dance to pottery to...” Ravi paused, realizing that he’d started to ramble a bit.

He’d spent so much time trying to help the founders build up their brand that he’d gotten into the habit of just starting in on the whole marketing spiel. Good for networking, not so much for sitting in a hotel common room. “I teach anything they need me to.” Ravi continued, switching gears a bit, stopping himself from waxing poetic about his job. “I mostly work with the younger kids though. Teach them about colors and how to project their voices on stage. A lot of the basics.”

Ravi’s eyes widened as Naz spoke. He’d spent all that time rambling about his job and he was sitting next to an Actual Adult whose life wasn’t falling apart. “That’s amazing.” He replied, trying hard not to ask a million questions or just make a fool out of himself. “Are you one of the people who plans all those events at like, the Natural History Museum and stuff? I’ve seen photos of all those big events and they’re always gorgeous.”

[ravi-varadkar]

cxrdeliawynn​:

…

“Hey, it’s alright. I was used to her awful behavior by the time we were six. High school was just more of the same by that point.” She tried to laugh it all off because that was just what she did. Cordelia was great with her masks. The mask of indifference at all of the criticism her family had for her, the mask of joy she could slip on at a moments notice when Walter or Carla wanted to show her some cool new art or craft project they were working on, hell, she’d even worn a mask that looked like love for a couple of years with a guy that was friends with the family she worked for when she hadn’t felt anything besides loneliness that he had helped her forget for a little while. She wondered sometimes who the real Cordelia was under all of those masks, if even she would like the way she looked.

She was surprised by how insightful that Ravi was, but perhaps she shouldn’t have been. After all, he seemed like a smart guy. Teacher and everything. Cordy was smart, too, had always been an observant and calculated sort of smart. She knew what to look for and how to press certain buttons, but she had never been the girl to press them for anything but playful banter. She could never bring herself to be even a little bit like the rest of her family, the ones who assumed that building themselves up had to start with tearing other people down. That being at the top won out over basic human decency. None of them had ever really left their high school persona. Cordelia had. She’d been just as cruel once, but in a different, more underhanded way. Now she could feel that coming back to haunt her the longer she stayed here, just waiting for someone to remember the worst of her.

Her eyebrow lifted slowly as she watched Ravi sputter and her lips quirked up slightly at the corners. She was still observant enough to realize that clearly the guy didn’t take compliments too well. “I mean… yeah. You’re the only hot guy here. Don’t get me wrong, Rick behind the counter is fine and all, but I’ve not spent the past ten minutes trauma dumping on him and admiring his extremely lovely face.” She reached behind him to grab something else off the shelf and toss it into her little basket, laughing a little. “So tell me about the kids, hot guy. What kind of acting exercises are you putting them through? Do you make hand turkeys at Thanksgiving? What’s the story there?”

x

“It still sucks that you had to go through that though, even if it’s in the past. Especially if you’re back here.” Ravi pointed out with a shrug, letting the topic go. He understood that, sometimes, you just had to trauma dump and move on. If Cordelia wanted to keep talking about it, she could but he wouldn’t press her for more information. 

He had been worried though that he might have over stepped when he brought up her podcast and then kept talking about that. While Ravi was sure that Cordelia appreciated the people who tuned in every week, he wasn’t sure how she really felt about one of them giving her advice while she was trying to buy snacks. She seemed to be taking it in stride though, unlike Ravi himself. 

He’d managed to calm himself down and not get too anxious or worked up during the course of the conversation but, as soon as she complimented him, all bets were off. Sometimes it was still hard to wrap his head around the fact that people actually thought that he was hot. Ravi had spent so much of his life hating how he looked and spent the past decade in awe and denial that the body looking back at him in the mirror was actually him. He’d often wake up and see the beard on his face and be absolutely floored by its presence. 

“If you say so...” Ravi finally replied with a shrug and a laugh. He wouldn’t try to argue. Wouldn’t point out the ears that he never really grew into or the crooked teeth from when his wisdom teeth messed them up. Instead, he would focus on something he could talk about. The kids. “Oh man... They’re amazing. It’s a program aimed at helping kids who wouldn’t usually get a lot of arts education and they’re... They’re just so excited about all of it. We do all kinds of stuff and a lot of it is just introductory. Basic movement, goofy little plays, stuff like that. But... They’re always so ready to learn.” Ravi gushed before shaking his head. 

“And, I’ll have you know. I refuse to do anything Thanksgiving related.” Ravi stated, proudly. “I don’t have time for holidays built around colonization. Instead, we spend that time learning more about the indigenous people in the area and their art and culture.” He’d been the one to suggest doing that, to switch from the basic holiday themes that the kids would probably get in school anyway, to something that would make them think.

[ravi-varadkar]

jasalcott​:

✦

jasper  blinked;  once,  then  twice.  sure,  he’d  felt  nervous  coming  back  to  church  after  ten  years,  but  this  was  on  an  entire  new  level.  instinctively,  fingers  twitching  with  nervous  energy,  he  stuffed  his  now  freed  hand  into  the  pocket  of  his  trousers.  jasper’s  mother’s  words  echoed  in  his  head:  don’t  put  your  hands  in  your  pockets,  you’ll  stretch  them  out.  he  glanced  over  at  the  rest  of  his  family,  who  were  already  seated  for  the  service.  they  all  looked  sickeningly  comfortable  with  their  surroundings.

“hmph,”  jas  huffed,  and  his  lips  twitched.  “neither  am  i.  it’s  not  that  serious––  you  don’t  have  to  sing  if  you  don’t  want  to.  or  can’t.  i  just  can’t.”  most  people  had  probably  politely  turned  down  the  books,  making  the  same  excuse,  one  after  another.  but  who  was  he  to  blame  them,  after  all,  he  would  have  done  the  same  thing  if  not  for  the  nervous  energy  preoccupying  his  mind.

“you  can  just  leave  it  somewhere,”  he  said,  referring  to  the  book  which  had  thankfully  left  his  possession.  “they  probably  have  people  to  gather  them  afterwards,  anyway,”  jas  went  on  with  a  shrug.  “you  in  town  for  the  funeral,  then?”

x

Ravi watched the man’s eyes as he glanced towards a group that was already sitting down. Following his gaze, Ravi looked over, eyes widening slightly. He may not recognize the man in front of him but he definitely recognized the people sitting down. It was the Alcotts. Everyone in town knew who they were. Joshua’s family had been plastered on the front cover of every paper, had been shown on the news every night. His parents spent years begging for the case to be re-opened, to be solved. 

Looking back at the man in front of him, who Ravi assumed was probably Joshua’s older brother, he tried to school his facial expressions. It wouldn’t be in good taste to blurt out something dumb like ‘oh it’s you, the dead boy’s brother’  Instead, Ravi just nodded at the male’s words. “I didn’t...” He paused, trying to think of the right words. “Is that a thing? Just leaving the book somewhere?” He felt like, if he did that as a kid, his mom would dragged him out by his ears.

“I... yeah... I... I knew Derek when we were little kids. Spent summers together but... I haven’t talked to him in a long time.” Ravi explained, surprised at his truthfulness. Perhaps it was because the man in front of him had already been through enough, he didn’t deserve to be lied to. Perhaps though, it was just because it felt wrong to be lying in a church. It may not be Ravi’s religion but it still felt sacred in some way. “Um... What about you? Are you in town for the funeral or do you live here?”

[ravi-varadkar]

cxrdeliawynn​:

…

“She was cruel.” Cordelia’s eyes cut around the little store, checked every visible angle to make sure no one could hear her that would let anything she said get back to her sister. Or her mother. “Cruel for sport. She learned it from our mother. Queen Bee begets Queen Bee. I turned out to be a worker bee instead. But Druscilla….” Her head shook a bit. This was one of the things she had always avoided about coming home. Her mother was a pain and her older siblings were a chore, but her twin. Her twin was next level. Cordelia had never been safe as long as Dru felt like she had to share the spotlight, and sharing a birthday, a face, it had never sat right with the other girl. 

“Dru knew exactly what buttons to push on people. She still does. She had all kinds of targets back then, but I was her favorite. She was on top, so she had to make sure no one ever confused us. Twins, looking alike, she didn’t want anyone to think I was her, claim her spot. Her nails were like claws, digging into the absolutely worst parts of me and dragging them out kicking and screaming.” The next thing she grabbed off the shelf ended up tossed into her basket a little more forcefully than necessary. “Everyone knew, you know? Knew that she was the worst. They would come to me, tell me things they hated about her. But they still wanted to be popular, still wanted to be cool, so they hung around with her anyway.”

Quickly, Cordelia shook off the feeling and let out a huge huff, shaking her head and forcing herself to pull on a smile. “I’m sorry, you didn’t need to know all of that. I guess it’s just nice to be able to say something to someone knowing it won’t get back to Dru.You would think that the rich boyfriend and the modeling job would have mellowed her out a little, but…” Trailing off, she managed to get out a laugh, one that even she could hear was a little forced. She almost envied Ravi, no siblings. Maybe it was a grass is greener situation. Because she wondered if that had been lonely growing up. Even if her siblings could be the worst, with seven of them, she was never all alone. 

The next smile she managed was more genuine, and she turned back to him with a small nod of his head. “I hope so. I hope people realize that I just… I didn’t want to talk about it for a long time. Not because it was so personal to me, but because I didn’t want that to be the thing I was associated with. True crime girl who was part of some actual true crime case. I’ve listened to other podcasters talk about that night, the party. Lot of speculation. Some of them, I’m sure, didn’t even try to reach out and ask any of us that were there. But that doesn’t matter. I’m just… I’m ready to come to terms with it, really work through it, I guess.” She clapped her hands quickly then, suddenly, to shake off yet another moment of… whatever it was. Getting too deep and too heavy in the middle of a convenience store. “Anyway, tell me about the kids and the theater and the art. That sounds like a much more fun topic than ‘girl who has buried trauma dumping all her feelings on a hot guy in the chip aisle’.”

x

Ravi couldn’t help but nod at Cordelia’s words. He knew exactly what she was talking about. He’d spent far too much time in high school making sure that he wasn’t on the receiving end of Druscilla’s anger. Once you crossed her, your high school career was basically over. She never forgave and she never forgot. She could make your life a living hell without even batting an eyelash. Too afraid of what it would mean if he was unpopular, Ravi had spent four years running after Druscilla, letting her walk all over him and his friends. 

“I’m sorry.” He finally said, grabbing a box of granola bars off a shelf. He was sorry, just not in the way Cordelia probably knew. He was sorry that he’d let Druscilla do what she did. Sorry that he hadn’t had enough of a spine back then to do anything other than sit back and watch. Sorry that he’d watched Druscilla be cruel to her sister and said nothing. Ravi had spent years trying to come to terms with how he had acted in high school. Was it okay for him to do if it meant that he was saving himself? Or was it even worse because he knew exactly how people like Cordelia must feel and let it happen regardless?

“No, I understand. Sometimes you just need to talk it out. I bet it’s hard being back here. Having to deal with all your family now.” He added, sympathetically. It was hard enough for him to deal with being back in Mallory and he couldn’t even imagine how he’d manage if he had to interact with his parents as well. He’d probably pack his bags and disappear again. 

"I think they will. Understand that is.” He continued. “Your listeners have a pretty good read on you and, from what you’ve said in the past, I think they realize that it’s something that you’re still working through. Something personal that you weren’t ready to share yet.” 

Ravi had originally started listening to the podcast because he’d wanted to know more, had wanted to know what other people from Mallory thought of the Alcott case. He hadn’t gotten much of that but he’d been comforted by the fact that someone else had gotten out of the town and felt the same way about it as he did. 

Ravi shrugged, grabbing some corn chips off a shelf. “I don’t mind. Trauma dumping in a convenience store feels like it’s very on brand for a small town.” He started before his brain caught up with what Cordelia had said. Once it did, he nearly dropped everything he was holding. “You.. I... What?” He looked up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who she was talking about. “Me?” He spluttered, eyes widening. 

[cindy-lou]

“Slumdog” was my first movie, and I had never been to India before - I was just a teenager in the U.K. with my headphones and my Nike shoes. What did I know about growing up in a slum?

[ravi-varadkar]

jasalcott​:

open starter @ derek’s funeral

the  hollow  echo  of  footsteps  accompanied  the  soft  murmur  of  the  crowd  as  it  swelled  into  the  church,  the  sounds  muffled  by  the  heavy  velvet  curtain,  next  to  which,  as  almost  every  time  he  entered  the  church,  stood  jasper  alcott,  leaning  against  the  cold  brick  wall,  which  hadn’t  yet  warmed  in  the  midday  sun.  through  the  painted  glass  lattice,  a  few  rays  permeated  the  altar.  it  did  little  to  comfort  jasper,  in  what  he  felt  was  a  claustrophobic,  dim  space,  invaded  by  far  too  familiar  faces  of  people  who  had  cast  such  pitiful  glances  at  him  for  the  past  ten  years.  people  with  eggshell  skin  spilling  from  their  collars,  and  with  an  evident  terror  for  eye-contact––  god,  he absolutely hated  this  place.    

to  clot  their  bleeding  desire  for  a  distraction  from  their  suffocating  worlds,  they  must  imagine  him,  and  grotesquely  think  of  the  suffering  he  must  have  gone  through  ten  years  ago.  and  they  must  wonder,  would  it  be  any  better  to  lose  a  child  now,  when  they  are  older?  and  they  must  turn  to  the  mitchell-bach  family,  and  wonder  why  such  a  gruesome  fate  befell  their  darling  son.  the  hometown  hero.

somewhere  between  method  and  madness  lay  jasper’s  own  fascination  with  derek’s  death.  yet  he  knew  not  to  ogle  the  grieving  family,  or  to  whisper  quietly  in  the  pews  about  the  rumours  of  a  beheading.  the  people  lurching  in  an  out  of  their  seats,  making  ungainly  movements  with  their  animated  hands,  dropping  their  hymn  books  to  the  ground;  they  had  all  done  this  before.  ten  years  ago.  

when  he  had  the  mind  to,  jasper  slowly  pushed  himself  off  of  the  wall,  and  straightened  his  tie.  having  grown  into  the  same  suit  he  wore  at  joshua’s  funeral,  it  fit  him  much  better  now.  yet,  he  had  not  expected  to  need  it  ever  again––  not  this  soon,  at  least.  he’d  never  been  good  with  funerals.  

“i’ve  never  been  good  with  funerals,”  he  said  to  the  unfortunate  person  wandering  past  him,  at  that  moment,  and  offered  out  the  hymn  book  he’d  been  given  at  the  door.  “not  much  of  a  singer,  either.  you  must’ve  missed  the  books  by  the  door.  care  to  relieve  me  of  my  burden?”

x

It took him quite a while, and a few awkward conversations, but Ravi had finally found the nerve to actually walk into the church. It was strange being inside. He hadn’t been to church since... well, since Joshua Alcott’s funeral ten years ago. The Varadkar family was Hindu and had always gone to temple a couple towns over. They hadn’t had much interaction with any of the Abrahamic religions. The entire idea of a church felt foreign to Ravi even before coming back to Mallory after ten years.

Now though, it felt like he was walking into a different reality. There were no mantras, no pujari, no taking your shoes off at the door. Ravi didn’t know what to do. He froze, watching as other people shuffled their way into rows and rows of pews. Was there a certain place he was supposed to sit? Suddenly, it felt like there were a million rules that he didn’t know, that he should have looked up. 

Now he wasn’t just a stranger showing up at the funeral but a stranger who had no clue what to do. He probably stuck out like a sore thumb. 

Ravi closed his eyes for a second, wondering if it would be rude to leave. To just turn around and walk away. Would anyone even notice?

It was in that moment though that someone chose to speak to him. Opening his eyes, Ravi looked over at who was speaking. He didn’t recognize him, not really. Like with a lot of people here, Ravi knew that he should recognize the other man but couldn’t figure out who he was. Ten years had passed and everyone looked so different now.

“What? Oh... Yeah... Me either...” He admitted before shaking his head. “I didn’t... I didn’t even realize that... I...” Ravi took the book from the stranger’s hand, looking down at it, trying to figure out what singing had to do with it. “I’m not... Christian... I don’t really...” Ravi looked around and then back at the man in front of him, hoping that the look on his face conveyed how overwhelmed he felt. 

[ravi-varadkar]

nathanchoi​:

closed for @ravi-varadkar, Derek’s funeral. 

-

It wasn’t like Nathan recognised every face in town, but he recognised most of them. At least, the ones directly tied to this case. Most of them were burned into his mind, faces and names and fingerprints and DNA samples, swarming around in his head. He tried not to be weird, not to stare, but something puzzled him about the young man outside. He stood off to the side, smoking, pretending to mind his own business. There was something familiar about them, and yet he couldn’t decipher where he knew them from. 

“Did you need a light?” Nathan said, offering conversation. A lame opener, but innocent sounding enough, right? He held up his old zippo lighter in offering. “Uh, I’m Nathan, by the way. Sorry, have we met? I feel like I know you from somewhere.” 

-

x

Ravi honestly wasn’t sure what the hell made him decide that coming to Derek’s funeral was a good idea. He shouldn’t have come. He shouldn’t have even showed up in Mallory. There were too many people here. Too many familiar faces watching him, trying to figure out who he was. He’d already had two different people come up and shake his hand. He didn’t feel like he should be thanked for coming back. For trying to feed his morbid curiosity. 

After the second person had greeted him, Ravi had walked away, planning to take a walk around the block to clear his head. As soon as he started to calm down though, he spotted them. The Varadkars. His parents. They looked older but they were still painfully recognizable. Before either of them could spot him, Ravi had turned on his heels and made his way back to the church. He didn’t smoke often any more but he could feel a stress headache building and decided fuck it. If people were already going to stare at him, might as well smoke and give them another reason to look. 

He was doing just that, chain smoking as he watched the crowd, when someone else approached him. He had just put out the most recent cigarette and was wondering if he should head inside when it happened. At first, Ravi just assumed it was another well wisher, another person hoping to find comfort. Once the other man spoke though, and Ravi turned his head, he froze. 

He knew exactly who had approached him. It had been ten years but Ravi still remembered Officer Choi. He could remember being questioned, could remember Officer Choi wrapping one of those shiny shock blankets around him as he called his parents. So much of The After involved the man standing in front of him.

“I... Um... I... Yeah. Sure.” Ravi stammered, fishing in his pocket for his cigarettes. “Do you...?” He gestured toward Officer Choi with the box, unable to finish his sentence. Taking a deep breath, Ravi tried to calm himself. Freaking out would only draw attention to himself, make Officer Choi - Nathan - suspicious. “I- I’m Ravi.” He managed to say before shaking his head. “I don’t think we’ve met though. I...” He paused, trying to think of what to say, what could be believable. “I don’t actually... I’m... I was a... a fan...” Ravi kicked himself mentally. He’d always been terrible at improv and this just proved it. He’d just told an officer of the law that he was a fan of Derek’s who’d come to the funeral. Definitely not something cool or normal. 

[ravi-varadkar]

cxrdeliawynn​:

…

“Were you a big Derek fan? I hear he was, like, a pretty big deal or something. I never kept up with him, but my twin sister? Obsessed. She was kicking herself when he got his first big role that she never snatched him up and locked him down in high school. Of course, Druscilla couldn’t commit to a relationship any more than she could to a signature color in high school. When I tell you that girl dated half the basketball team, I’m not even exaggerating.” It was probably in pretty bad taste, badmouthing her own twin in front of a total stranger, but Cordelia very rarely got he chance to blow off steam when it came to her siblings. They were those stupid popular loved kids, the inner circle, glamorous. Any time she said anything, it was likely that someone was going to defend whoever got the brunt of the ire, even if they knew for a fact just how sneaky, underhanded, or downright awful they truly were. Popular people tended to have that kind of luck.

“Teaching convention? What do you teach?” Her head tilted a bit and she offered him a quick up and down once over, really trying to get a read. “You give me, like, English teacher who’s super passionate about Shakespeare vibes. Or, like, History but one of those niche history classes. Something way more fun than math or chemistry.” Of course, that was absolutely Cordy’s bias against Math and Chemistry. Not her wheelhouse, for sure, and her barely passing transcripts in those subjects could attest to that.

She let out a laugh, reaching out to grab a bag off the shelf and toss it into her basket. Her head shook a bit at the question, and she blew out a long, slow sigh. “We weren’t really friends, he was friends with my sister, and probably my brother Adam, but I was… on the edge of that social circle, you know? No one was making fun of me, but they didn’t actively invite me to go to the mall or anything. I’m here to pay respects, but I’m also here because this is kind of my job now. True crime. I don’t want to profit off of Derek’s death, but… I’m someone who can offer a more personal look at it, at him. At Joshua. Someone who was there, ya know? People make a lot of assumptions about the party ten years ago. But I was at that party. Guess I’m finally ready to talk about it. Really talk about it.”

x

“Ehhhh.” Ravi shrugged, making a face at the thought. He’d tried so hard to run away and leave every piece of Mallory behind him that, once Derek became a household name, Ravi refused to have anything to do with him. He wouldn’t watch the movies, he wouldn’t read the magazines. It reminded him too much of summers spent by the pool, of passing notes in elementary school. Of the life that he’d run away from. “I can’t say I was his biggest fan. A lot of the kids I teach love him though so I’ve heard more than my fair share of stories about how great he is.” Ravi admitted before adding, “I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like growing up with her. She sounds like a lot to handle. I was an only child so I never had to deal with any of that.”

Ravi nodded with a shy smile. “Yeah. I mean, I’m not an official teacher. I’ve got all the credentials and stuff but I’m not at a school. I teach kids theater and art and stuff. So very close with the Shakespeare teacher guess.” He couldn’t actually imagine himself teaching Shakespeare. At least not at a high school level. All the stuff that high schools taught were boring and watered down. Who cared about Romeo and Juliet when you could read literally any other of The Bard’s works?

“Oh god, I can’t imagine teaching science or math. I was so bad at those subjects.” Ravi couldn’t help but blurt out. “I had to take a test for my teacher’s license and I still have no clue how I passed those sections. Absolutely no clue.” He laughed before quieting down and nodding again. This time slowly.

He remembered Cordelia. Remembered seeing her and knowing who she was. He remembered wishing that he could hang out with her because she seemed so much cooler than her twin sister. Instead, Ravi had tagged along with Druscilla and Derek and the entire popular crowd. It was easier that way. If he played the part he could continue to pass. Could continue to keep who he was a secret. Hearing Cordelia speak about high school brought all the memories back. He wondered how both of their lives might have been different if he’d taken the time back then to talk to her. 

“I... I don’t think that anyone would think you’re trying to profit off of this.” He finally said, not wanting to think too much about how he’d been in high school. “If they listen to your podcast they know your history with this town and you’ve always been respectful when it came to other victims and their families. I think anyone with half a brain would realize that this is just you working through what’s happened.”

[ravi-varadkar]

nazbulut​:

“I suppose I should know better than to have high expectations at this point.” Perhaps if life had gone differently for Naz, she would have fonder memories of her hometown, but as it is, she simply feels suffocated when she’s here. “Don’t mention it, it shouldn’t be too difficult.” That might come across as condescending, but it’s not how she means it. 

“You are a teacher?” She can’t imagine who else would have to make lesson plans, but it feels polite to ask and clarify. She also understands the urge to be overly prepared, far before a deadline. She’s never been much of a procrastinator, even when she indulged in fun things more often. 

“That just means you have been lucky enough to work with actually functioning printers,” she notes, not looking at him as she opens the front of the printer to start looking for the jam, turning various knobs inside once she spots the stuck paper in question. “It’s no trouble at all.”

x

“Yeah, I feel like half the time I’m still surprised and the other half I’m just... so over it. If that makes any sense.” Ravi admitted, shaking his head. Coming back to Mallory had been a bit of a shock to him. On the surface, it looked like a lot had changed but, underneath, it was clear that the town was still the same. Still full of teens who were counting the days until they could escape, full of adults who either thrived in the small town or felt stuck there. A lot of the time, Ravi found himself wondering where he would be if he had stayed in town. 

“Really though, thank you. I’m so bad with technology. Trying to fix anything just makes it more broken when I get my hands on it.” He continued, remembering far too many times in which he had fiddled with something and absolutely destroyed it in the process. At this point he had learnt his lesson. When something was broken he immediately stepped back and called for help.

“Uh yeah... Kind of? I mean... Yes?” Ravi started, realizing how ridiculous he sounded. “It’s not in a school school.” He explained quickly. “We do more after school and summer and weekend stuff. But yeah. Still have the classroom and lesson plans. Gotta teach kids about art somehow.”

“Either that or I’m just super lucky.” Ravi countered with a small laugh. Lucky wasn’t exactly a word he would use to describe himself. Plus, before he’d worked as a teacher he’d mostly done food service and retail jobs, definitely not the kind of job that would require a printer. “What about you though? You’ve obviously fought off quite a few printers. What do you do for a living?” He asked as he watched Naz find the paper that had caused the whole mess.

[ravi-varadkar]

martinbene​:

where: the diner with whom: open to anyone

Whenever Martin missed his parents, he’d make sure to make a perfect plan so they’d have to come to New York: he’d buy them tickets, greet them with deliciously smelling dinner and organise activities for the entire weekend. Deep inside he knew that his parents were aware why he didn’t want to visit them. They weren’t stupid. They knew that for Martin, going back to Mallory was simply too painful. Therefore they never complained, and Martin never had a reason to come back. Until now, of course.

He couldn’t remember when was the last time he wandered around these streets, but nothing seemed to be changed. Everything looked the same, and every corner had its stories that were waking up some memories — which, by the way, were buried deep inside his subconsciousness. And not all of them were pleasing his heart. In fact, most of them were making him tired. Exhausted.

As he put out his cigarette and threw it in a bin, Martin sighed and entered the diner – the one that most days he’d visit after school. “Coffee, please,” he muttered as he was greeted by a waiter. He hasn’t even reached his table when he made his order, and it was one of two things that made the diner’s employee annoyed. The other was bumping into someone standing in front of Martin, and the fact that this person spilled their drink on the floor. “Shit… Shit! I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

x

After eating nothing but microwave meals and fast food for the past few days, Ravi decided that it was finally time to actually eat real food. The closest place to the hotel was a diner that Ravi had frequented a lot as a teen. He knew that he ran the risk of running into someone he knew but he was too hungry, and too tired of instant noodles, to care. As he walked in, Ravi couldn’t help but notice that it looked the same as it had ten years ago, down to the cracks in the tile flooring. He wondered if Prudence, the old fry cook, still worked at the diner or if she’d left. She always used to talk to him about where she wanted to travel. How she dreamed of living on a boat in Venice. 

Too preoccupied thinking about old Prudence, Ravi missed the sound of someone coming up behind him. Missed it until the person was bumping into him, until Ravi’s cold coffee was splashing onto the floor. Despite the fact that the coffee was cold, had been brewed at the hotel hours earlier, Ravi couldn’t help but let out a sharp gasp as the cup fell. It was probably out of habit, an instinct to protect Ravi in case the coffee had been hot. The sound definitely didn’t make the person behind Ravi feel any better though and Ravi quickly turned around to let them know he was okay before realizing who he’d come into contact with.

“Martin?!” Ravi couldn’t stop himself. Never in a million years had he expected Martin, the only person from Mallory who knew him post transition, to be standing in front of him. Eyes widening, Ravi lowered his voice, looking around the diner to see if anyone had heard him, if anyone had suddenly realized that Ravi was little Raviprabha. “What are you doing here?” He whispered, coffee forgotten.

[ravi-varadkar]

odessawashington​:

Odessa has never thought that Mallory could look this dreary to her. That its skies would look greyer and that she’d notice every single one of its flaws. Every peeling paint job and every little imperfection. Every pothole in the street, every little unpleasant things in town. She has never thought that she would even come back to Mallory for a funeral. Especially not for the funeral of a dear friend.

Derek Mitchell-Bach had always been an asshole. Everyone knew that. She knew, knows that. But he’s still her friend, someone who lent her his ears when he was still alive. Someone who she liked to be around and have around. And it feels weird and awful to be back in Mallory to attend Derek’s funeral. It feels weird and awful to have coffee at the town’s coffee shop knowing that Derek’s mother is on the other side of town counting on Odessa to bring her flower samples from the florist for the funeral.

She sighs into her coffee, finishes the last bit of it before getting up, grabbing the two bags of flowers she has with her and walking over to the door. Her hand reaches for the handle absentmindedly. She’s not really looking at where she’s going or that there’s someone on the other side who has opened the door. All she knows is that her head hurts from the door making impact on her forehead.

“Ouch!” she proclaims, hand going to her head. Eyes looking straight at the door who hit her and the person behind it. “I’m fine. I’m fine.” She places her bags on the floor and massages her forehead. The pain stings but it’ll dull in a few minutes. “I wasn’t looking anyway.” Odessa finally shrugs before taking a good look at the other person, squinting her eyes slightly. He looks familiar for some reasons. Like maybe they’d come across each other years ago and she just could not remember his name.

“Sorry but you look awfully familiar. And everyone in town always look awfully familiar to me,” Odessa chuckles, “Do I know you?”

x

The moment Ravi heard the word ‘ouch’, he wanted to run, to disappear. Of course he couldn’t just run into one of his old classmates. He had to make a scene of it and hit them with a door. Just his luck. Not only that but it wasn’t just any old classmate. It was Odessa. Someone Ravi had been close to before he’d cut his hair, packed his bags, and left town. It had been years but he could still tell that it was her. With her soft curls and kind eyes, it was so easy for Ravi to recognie her.

“I’m so sorry. Oh god. I... Let me get you ice... or something. Do you need ice? Or to sit down?” Ravi asked, suddenly feeling even more flustered than before. He tried to run through what he’d been taught when one of his students bumped their heads. Tried to use that to keep himself calm. He froze though as Odessa spoke.

“I... Maybe?” He started, scrambling to find an excuse for why he looked so familiar. When he’d left Mallory he’d left all his old friends behind. Hadn’t told them where he was going. He’d changed his phone number and deleted his Facebook. He’d disappeared completely and couldn’t imagine that any of the people he left behind were happy about that. 

“I guess I just have one of those faces?” He finally stated, shrugging as if it was nothing.

[ravi-varadkar]

nazbulut​:

Naz’s nose wrinkles a little at that, finding it remarkably unprofessional to ignore the needs of a guest, regardless of whether or not it’s something one feels like doing or not. “It means this hotel isn’t very guest friendly, apparently.” Naz makes it sound like a joke, but the actual distaste is a bit obvious in her tone. She doesn’t recognize him, isn’t sure if she’s supposed to, but she does feel bad because she understands the frustration of not being able to get work done. “I can take a look at it,” she finally gives in, as if he’s been prodding her to do it, and not like she just still isn’t the same person who likes to help others that she was in high school. “Are you on a deadline?” she asks as she fully enters the room, figuring the sooner she gets him out of there, the sooner she can get her own work done. “My first job was in an office with… outdated equipment, to put it lightly. I had to fix the printer jams all the time.” She’s already kneeling by the printer, working on finding the source of the jam. “I’m Naz, by the way.”

x

“Makes sense. I don’t know if you can really expect much from a hotel in Mallory.” Ravi replied with a shrug. He could tell that she was annoyed at how passive the workers were. It made sense but Ravi was also very used to this type of thing happening. Despite her annoyance, and the printer not working, Ravi couldn’t help but smile as the woman walked into the room and agreed to help. “Really? I... Thank you! Thank you so much.” He replied, moving out of the way.

“No, thank god. It’s just some lesson plans. I don’t need them right away. If we can get them printed out that’s great but if not, it’s not like I really need them for another few weeks. I can be out of your hair.” Ravi rambled. He tended to do that when he was nervous or felt like he was inconveniencing someone. He’d managed to shed a lot of his old life but the rambling was an annoying habit that had carried over. 

“I’m actually surprised that I haven’t had to tackle more broken printers in my day. I’ve had so many odd jobs that I thought it would come up more.” He continued before pausing, mentally telling himself to stop. “Nice to meet you Naz. I’m Ravi. Thank you for this, really.”

[ravi-varadkar]

cxrdeliawynn​:

…

“I have a lot of ghosts in Mallory, any one of them was bound to startle me at any moment. You’re more of a breath of fresh air, I don’t feel like I’m slowly reverting into high school bitch talking to you.” Not that Cordelia had been the bitch, that had always been her sister’s MO. But she’d never been a stranger to playing the part when she needed to, and even just stepping foot into Mallory had started bringing it all back, dragging her into that sad, ten years ago mindset. Fitting in and standing out and being her own person instead of just another one of the Wynn kids.

“Pleasure’s all mine, Ravioli. Must say, though, you sure did pick a weird time to just pass through.” Wasn’t outside the realm of possibility, of course. He could just be on his way somewhere far more interesting, stopped in town to grab a snack and hit the road again. Just seemed odd to run into people in town who weren’t here because of Derek. Not that she was here for Derek, not really. She was here for work, first and foremost, and she knew full well that if she’d skipped out, her parents would have been furious. After all, it was all of their job to put on a good face, to make sure the town was aware of just how kindhearted and sympathetic the Wynns were. Her parents did love their little show. “Lot of people crawlin’ up out of the woodwork for this funeral. It’s basically a ten year high school reunion around here. Where ya headed? If you’re just passin’ through. Please say somewhere exciting so I can live vicariously through you.”

x

“I understand that so well.” Ravi admitted with a shake of his head. “The second I step foot in my hometown I feel like I’m back in high school.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. Sure, he made it sound like he didn’t grow up in Mallory but the rest was true. The minute he’d crossed the county line, seen the ‘Welcome to Mallory!’ sign, he’d felt all the old fears and anger begin to bubble up inside of him. He knew who he was but years spent hiding and feeling subpar couldn’t be erased. 

“Ravioli?” He asked, raising his eyebrows at the nickname. It wasn’t an unwelcome one, just a surprise. One that made him almost slip up and say why he was in town. Of course he was in town for Derek’s funeral. Everyone was. The hotel was crawling with people who had come back just to attend. He’d already caught himself in a lie though to protect his anonymity and it was too late to double back. 

“I’ll admit... I was a bit curious once I heard about what had happened... I was on my way through the area anyway and thought it couldn’t hurt to just pass through.” Ravi settled on saying, hoping it sounded believable. “I don’t know... Depends on what you consider exciting. There’s a teacher’s convention in Columbus.” He continued. Technically, that wasn’t a lie either. There was a convention. Ravi just wasn’t going to it. “I’m guessing you’re in town for the funeral and stuff then? I’m sure that’s fun.” He added, sarcastically. He’d heard Cordelia talk about Mallory on her podcast. She was probably just as thrilled to be back as he was.

[ravi-varadkar]

nazbulut​:

Naz knew she had a place to stay with Nathan, but she (correctly) anticipated that her first day back in town since she’d left as quickly as humanly possible would leave her feeling a bit, if not a lot, overwhelmed. So she was settling in at a hotel first, needing a bit more alone time before she saw her family for the first time in a couple of years. There was a part of her that could feel the guilt for writing Mallory off as much as she had, and for her, the solution was to get some work done. But naturally, as soon as she opened her laptop, it decided it needed an update, which was what had her in the computer lab. She tried to leave without being spotted, but it was too late, and she stopped at the door, unfortunately locked in conversation now. “I do, but it’s no rush.” Tone polite, pointed, trying to be clear she wasn’t trying to chat. But that wasn’t quite her true nature. “Yes, I do. I… maybe we should ask the front desk though?”

x

It shouldn’t have come as a shock to Ravi that the woman he was talking to seemed so put together but, for some reason, it did. Rationally, he knew that this was a hotel, it wasn’t somewhere that residents of Mallory stayed, but he was still startled. Maybe it was the part of him that had grown up in the town, but it was obvious from the moment Ravi laid eyes on her that this woman was not from Mallory. The way she held herself spoke of someone who belonged in a big city with tall buildings and busy streets. Not the quiet, suffocating blanket of Mallory, Ohio. “I... I mentioned it to them and they just... shrugged it off. Not sure what it means but...” Ravi shrugged. It had been quite obvious that the person at the front desk did not want to be there. They had greeted Ravi kindly enough but once he had mentioned the printer, had seemingly decided that the problem was above their pay grade and not their problem. He honestly couldn’t blame them either. He didn’t want to be dealing with a jammed printer either.

[ravi-varadkar]

cxrdeliawynn​:

…

To be completely honest, Cordelia wasn’t sure if anyone around Mallory would have listened to her podcast. Considering how much trash she talked about Mallory, and considering they didn’t need more true crime around than what they already had going on, she wouldn’t have been at all shocked to show up and just be right back to the role she had always fit into so well around here. Baby Wynn, Adam’s baby sister, being awkwardly confused for her twin sister (though considering how much her darling sister had gone out of her way to change her look over the past few years, that one might be more scarce). Sure, she’d run into a teenage kid who was a fan of her show, but every teenager wanted to get away from their hometown and loved it when other people made fun of it, right? Meeting someone in her own age group, from Mallory, claiming to be a fan. 

She was almost waiting for the punchline.

But he was cute and clearly a little socially awkward, so Cordelia did her best to wipe the mean face off and throw on that charming smile. The one that Mummy and Daddy had told her growing up was going to make her rich. “You don’t fit my normal demographic, sorry for being so harsh. Its just… somethin’ about comin’ back to the old homestead, I keep expecting the ghost of my awful junior yearbook photo to come jumpin’ out at me from around the corner. Or my highschool boyfriend, talk about a nightmare. I heard he works at the junkyard now, I can only imagine what a sweaty, greasy mess he must be.” The words tumbled out like a waterfall, Cordelia’s ‘personality’ voice snapping on and turning her into a motor mouth. She bit down gently on her own tongue to stop the flow for a moment before starting again. “Hi, I’m Cordelia. Though I guess I established that already. You live here or did life drag you back for a visit, too?”

x

“No, that makes sense! I’m sorry I startled you.” Ravi replied, eyes widening slightly. It was a bit startling to see how quickly her attitude changed, how easy it was for her to morph into a different person. Scary but also something that Ravi wished he could do. He didn’t know what had made him stop and talk to Cordelia. He wasn’t sure why he did this and every fiber of his being was telling him to stop. To just turn around and leave. He couldn’t help but smile at her rambling though. He understood it completely. Turning a corner and wondering who you’d run into. Half expecting ghosts to be there, waiting for you. 

"It’s nice to meet you Cordelia. I’m Ravi.” He went to extend a hand but realized that they were both full, aborting the action halfway through. Did it count as ‘meeting’ when Ravi knew who Cordelia was already? Had grown up beside her, probably even took the same classes? Ravi wasn’t sure and certainly didn’t want to dwell too long on it. “Yeah, no. I’m just...” Ravi paused. 

Everyone was in town for Derek’s funeral so it wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary for him to say that was why he was back. But he wasn’t the same person as he was ten years ago. No one knew who he was and he would rather it stayed that way. “I’m just...passing through. I don’t think I’d want to stay here longer than I have to.” He added. He heard somewhere that if you add a little bit of truth to a lie it makes it more believable and he hoped that would be the case now. 

[ravi-varadkar]

cxrdeliawynn​:

where: the convenience store with whom: open

Cordelia had just landed, and she needed snacks and caffeine asap. She already missed Raleigh, the heat and the rugrats, her dark little basement apartment in the Maxwell’s house, and to top it off she had already run into three of her siblings, her mother, and some kid who apparently listened to her podcast and asked her if she had any news Daniel. 

She was finally relieved to be alone, grabbing unhealthy shit to load up her hotel room with (because, of course, with eight children there simply wasn’t room for everyone at home). She’d picked up on that little clue, and she also knew full well that she was the only one of the eight children staying in the shitty motel while everyone else got their old rooms back at the house. It was fine, the nieces and nephews could have her old room and she would be happy on her own. Besides, the motel walls weren’t so thin that she couldn’t do a bit of recording while she was here.

She was answering a text from Mrs. Maxwell about her flight landing just fine when she felt a tap on her shoulder, and twisted around to face yet another companion with half a scowl and an eyebrow lifted. “I’m Cordelia, not Druscilla, and if you’re looking for literally any of the other nine Wynns, I have no idea where they are. For the record.”

x

Although Ravi hadn’t been recognized yet, he didn’t want to risk running into anyone he knew. He’d already spotted his father walking down the street and definitely didn’t want to come face to face with him any time soon. So, instead of going out to eat or even getting take out, Ravi decided to just stock up on food and squirrel it away in his hotel room. It wouldn’t be all that different from when he was working on his master’s thesis. He would keep his head low for a day or so before venturing out for the funeral and whatever else was happening. 

While he was browsing the aisles of the closest convenience store, he spotted a familiar face out of the corner of his eye. His first instinct was to hide, to make sure his face wasn’t seen. Knowing that would cause an even bigger scene though, Ravi stayed put, glancing over at the person, trying to figure out who they were. Suddenly, it hit him. Miss C’s Booze and Bodies. 

Before Ravi could stop himself, he had crossed the distance between them and tapped Cordelia on the shoulder. They hadn’t been close in high school but Ravi had spent a lot of time listening to Cordelia’s podcast. It was the closest he would get to associating himself with Mallory. A secret little connection that only he knew of. Something that comforted him when he felt like he was drifting in the ocean. 

“Oh!” Ravi stepped back, startled a bit. “Sorry. No... I... Hi...” He started, realizing that he’d had absolutely no plan going into this and probably looked creepy. “No. I was looking for you. I mean... Not... I listen to your podcast.” He blurted out, mentally kicking himself for, once again, botching a totally normal conversation. 

[ravi-varadkar]

Where: Hotel Lobby

Who: Anyone

Despite the fact that it was technically Ravi’s summer break, he hadn’t actually taken a break of any kind. Even the fact that he was three states away for a funeral wasn’t stopping him from lesson planning. Some people might call it hard work but Ravi just called it hyper fixation and a lack of any social life. This mix was exactly why Ravi was sitting at the hotel computer, trying to figure out how to use their printer. It really shouldn’t be that hard. A printer was a printer. You put paper in, click print, and then your page should come out all nice and ready to go. Unfortunately, the hotel printer had decided to be difficult and had jammed multiple times. It wouldn’t matter too much if it were his own computer but Ravi was in a public place and he could feel someone staring. Finally turning to face the person behind him, Ravi sighed. “I’m sorry. Do you... do you need to use the computer? I can be out of your hair soon... Do you... Do you happen to know anything about printer jams?”