the tragedy of anakin skywalker (x)
#no but really#why wasn’t anakin a crechemaster#why did they let him major in stabbing?#star wars#queue (tags @cadesama)
OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?
what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.
you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.
anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.
He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”
this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;
Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.
BUT CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)
he keeps comming over the years, but it’s always like
BEEP
“Anakin, my boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“
“I’m sorry, Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”
BEEP
“My dear boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“
“Well, it can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”
BEEP
“Anakin, I’d like to—“
“I’m terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”
BEEP
“You’ve reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”
BEEP
“It’s such a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple, Anakin.”
“Thank you, Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning opportunity for the young ones—“
Palpatine closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.
BEEP
“Ah, Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“
BEEP
“Anakin, I hoped you—“
“Oh! Chancellor,” the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink, and he’s probably already in crèche…”
BEEP
Then there’s that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his reaction to that incident, the better.
BEEP
“—fortunately, they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened in the first place, Chancellor.”
Palpatine snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.
“My boy, I absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls on.
“I think Jedi Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates! Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“
Palpatine swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.
BEEP
“Forgot his comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”
Slaughtering younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after taking over galaxy some time ago.
this post keeps getting better and better
More please! Tagging @systlin, @beautifultoastdream and @karama9
That is what the Council would have done if they were smart. Seriously. Here’s Yoda saying Anakin should not be taught because he senses too much fear in him, and it’s fear for the people he cares about, something everyone present realizes fully because when it comes to his own safety, Anakin couldn’t be more reckless. Then Qui Gon announces he’s training him anyway, someone points out he might fulfill the prophecy and bring balance to the Force, and nobody, NOBODY, thinks that MAYBE giving him a job that’s more about caring than killing might be an idea. Nope. Okay, we’re training him, let’s foster the loose canon aspect of his personalities, make him a war general and keep pushing him into vicious battles to the death. Sounds perfect for his mental health. The Jedi Council were a bunch of idiots with their head so far up their own asses even a lightsaber shoved up there to the hilt would not provide them enough light to see further than their own noses.
I think I got lost somewhere in this metaphor. You get the point.
After ten years, Palpatine loses his patience and decides to change his plans. Fuck it, Skywalker has kids now–two adorable little moppets who can be captured, broken, and twisted into twin powerhouses of the Dark Side. Torture one while the other watches, convince them Daddy doesn’t love them, easy-peasy.
Unfortunately, he fails to reckon with the fact that not only is he going up against Anakin Fucking Skywalker, but that Anakin Fucking Skywalker is the surrogate father/big brother/best friend/cool teacher of ninety percent of the current Padawans and young Knights in the Order. And while the Council might make decisions and talk about the Will of the Force and stuff, those Padawans and Knights only care about the fact that the man who scared away the monsters under the bed–made it feel less lonely and frightening to be away from home when they were small–is now hurting and scared for his own children.
Just like Palpatine always wanted, Anakin ends up leading an army. An army of young Jedi who smash the ever-loving shit out of everything “Darth Sidious” can throw at them, rescue the terrified Skywalker twins, and drag the Chancellor hisownself before the Senate with conclusive proof that he’s an evil Dark-Side-wielding bastard who kidnaps adorable kids.
Attachments FTW.
God, YES
Luke and Leia would have grown up with 500 brothers and sisters of assorted species. Whenever you see Anakin there are 10 kids with him, occasionally actively hanging off of his arms or riding on his shoulders. (Anakin looks downright gleeful about this). Padme thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever.
20 years later by the time “A New Hope” would have begun, Anakin is 45. Padme is the new Chancellor. Luke and Leia are finishing their own Jedi training. 90% of the current young Jedi order calls Anakin ‘Dad’. He has amassed the galaxy’s largest collection of refrigerator art. After that incident with Chancellor Palpatine 15 years back, Yoda was forced to admit to Qui Gon’s very smug force-ghost that he was right. Everything is right with the galaxy.
I’m sorry but I just need to talk about this.
First off, you try telling anakin skywalker he can just look after the little kids. He came to the jedi order to prove himself as a jedi knight. He wasn’t about to shoved in the creche. He was first and foremost an arrogant little kid who thought he could take on the world. There are plenty of jobs within the jedi order (you’ve all seen how fuck off big their temple is) which go right from the jedi knights to fucking jedi farmers, anakin was always going to be a knight and bitch knew it.
Secondly, whilst it’s all nice to think about anakin being excited about having kids - HE JUST WASNT. There was no ‘stormtroopers look, I have a son’ moment, or ‘ohmygosh a daughter too!’ in fact, when anakin new luke was his son he suggests they bring him to the dark side - that’s not out of love, bitch knew the rule of two.
Last of all, and most importantly, his attachments was not the main problem, the main problem was that he came to the jedi order too old - he didn’t have the mental training needed from a young age to become a jedi knight and expel the fear that yoda sensed in him. It was nothing to do with being trained to be a murderer, all of the jedi knights go through the same training and you don’t see them going cray-cray.
Long story short, I really don’t think a hug from the younglings was going to stop anakin becoming vader.
Um, Anakin wasn’t an arrogant little kid. He became arrogant later on, yes, but he wasn’t when he was a kid. Just “freed” and separated from his mother to enter a new world with the Jedi. I personally think that this AU could have happened if Anakin was forced to do creche duty or something as a padawan and then as more and more time passed, he really enjoyed himself. Instead of being forced into it, he volunteers himself and starts getting attached to the children. Whether that would have extended into him not joining the Clone Wars as a Jedi General is another thing.
Are you really using Vader as a bases about whether Anakin was excited to be a father? Really?? Anakin was excited to be a father, just look at ROTS. And even as Vader, he was excited, in his own dark-side way, about being a father. His love was twisted, but it was there. If it wasn’t there then he wouldn’t have overthrown Palpatine to save Luke.
Yes, of course. Childhood Indoctrination was the answer. All children had to go through this otherwise they would go Dark, no exceptions! Absolutely no Jedi who are raised as Jedi turn to the Dark Side, ever! Wait…what do you mean that there are Jedi who were raised in the order who turned to the Dark Side?! I don’t believe you, you’re lying! Hold on…what do you mean Luke Skywalker wasn’t trained as a Jedi since he was a toddler? He started his training when he was 19?? Did he go Dark?? No?!? He turned a Dark Sider back into the light?!? But that isn’t how the Jedi Code works!
Yeah, maybe a few hugs wouldn’t have stopped it, but it would have definitely been a first step.
