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[This document is the full transcript of a series of short educational videos on sexual intercourse with non-humans. It was produced by the Systems Alliance Navy in 2163, in association with the Salarian Union. The host of the program, Doctor S., M.D., was a young salarian doctor who had actually volunteered for the opportunity. When asked for his reasons, his reply was, "No interest in recreational sexual activity myself - but eager to share knowledge. Benefits obvious : debunking of common falsehoods, improvement of interpersonal relationships, furthering mutual understanding across the galaxy with successful stress relief. Also less STDs. Education conducive to better choices — less discharge to clean up."]

Now also available on AO3 !!!

[Title card. Somewhat bombastic music and an old-timey font suggest that, for some reason, the director decided to shoot this as an homage to 1950s infomercials from the defunct USA on Earth. The language throughout this version is the UNAS dialect of English human, which Dr. S. had learned for the purpose of making this series.]

[Other versions in different Alliance languages - Mandarin, Spanish, Portuguese, Urdu, Hindi, Swahili, Polish, etc - were edited and released simultaneously. Dr. S. was ready to shoot again in many of these languages, but the Alliance chose not to in order to keep expenses at a minimum.]

PROBING URANUS : The Intrepid Space Explorer's Guide to Safe and Satisfying Sex with Alien Species

[Dr. S., a chirpy young salarian with brownish skin, is reading a leatherbound book titled Overpopulation and its Impact on the Environment. He pretends to notice the camera and puts the book down. He is wearing a bow tie.]

Hello there ! If you are watching this, then interested in learning about optimal forms of sexual activity with non-humans. Commendable ! Humans newcomers to galactic society — no prior experience of interactions with distinct sapient species — but soldiers especially likely to seek sexual intercourse with other species as stress relief. Technology, species and cultural norms still mysterious to you — exciting !

As a doctor, can give you general recommendations, bridge knowledge gap. Will advise you chiefly on medical matters, but will also provide expertise beyond anatomical and physiological. No replacement for individual guidance, however ! Contact licensed xenophysician for session tailored to personal needs — list of organizations and bibliography available on omni-tool.

[An alien sigil, the equivalent of a QR code, appears in the bottom right-hand corner of the screen. It will remain there for most of the video.]

Be careful, however : different species mean different assumptions as to what is "normal" or "implicit". Research cannot be exhaustive enough — as salarian, bound to make mistakes about humans despite efforts and best intentions — must preemptively apologize.

Example : will use words like "woman", "man", "female" and "male" throughout educational series. Understand that use of terms complex and nuanced in human cultures — will only use them as shorthand, and shorthand necessarily approximate.

Here, biological sexes used as : categories defined by differentiated traits related to reproduction and their emergence, such as genitalia and secondary sex characteristics, gonads, chromosomes, hormone levels, etc. "Sexes" necessarily the description of averages in groups which, while distinct, exhibit considerable in-group variation and out-group overlapping of traits — a spectrum — hence existence of intersex individuals. As with many sapient species, humans gonochoric — require two discrete and complementary reproductive systems to successfully combine gametes and produce new individuals. Reproductive systems usually termed in human scientific literature either "female" or "male" — in humans, will use terms for reproductive system types that retain or transfer gametes, respectively, irrespective of gender.

Descriptive bimodal terminology for human sexes suggestive of non-existent biological binary — seemingly reflection of gender, i.e. part of identity initially based on sexual traits, reproductive ability, and associated social and cultural expectations. In other words, binary cultural norms inform scientific description of the universe. Understand humans have many genders depending on cultures, much like salarians — "woman" and "man", if used, will be used strictly as gender descriptives.

Please refer to on-screen menu to select topic of interest !

PART 1 : Introduction

In this part, will provide overview of different topics of interest to create common basis for discussion and learning. Cannot teach you if you don't know vocabulary !

Chapter 1 about common definitions of "sexualities" in interspecies context and common prejudices — in short, social dimension !

Chapter 2 reminder about basics of consent, enthusiasm, and communication. Different kind of explicit, and also stress-relieving.

Chapter 3 about safe sexual practices in cross-species intercourse. Will contain pictures !

Chapter 4 primer on sexual anatomy and biology of cross-species sexual activity.

Chapter 5 about "D.I.Y." exploration of sexual partner's desires and privileged erogenous zones in intercourse context. Practical !

Chapter 6 about frequent relationship models prevalent in interstellar "dating scene". Again, communication is key !

Advise you watch everything, but selection at your discretion !

PART 1 : Chapter 1 : Sexualities, Desire and Prejudice

Aware that many humans define sexualities in terms of identity or activity — galactic community however has different definition — necessary to understand to avoid confusion in future exchanges.

Simply, galactic community categorizes sexualities in terms of desire, regardless of activity or previously documented instances of sexual attraction arranged in a coherent system. Pros of model : fluid, not so prone to labels, doesn't overstress what one "should" or "shouldn't" be feeling. Cons of model : easier for prejudiced individuals to rhetorically insist some sexual desires non-essential, can and should be repressed.

Modern syncretic sexuality categories broadly concerned with cross-species sexuality. Major categories include :

asexuality, defined as lack of sexual attraction overall. Distinct from asexual form of reproduction. Also distinct from sexual abstinence, i.e. practice of not engaging in sexual intercourse.

ecosexualities, defined as exclusive sexual attraction to conspecifics — that is, members of own species. After first contact, most species reflexively enter conservative econormative phase — cross-species liaisons heavily discouraged, shameful.

demisexualities, defined as sexual attraction to at least some categories of individuals on the basis of strong interpersonal emotional bonds, regardless of species. An individual may develop secondary sexual attraction to well-known and well-loved persons without developing primary sexual attraction to similar individuals. Example : future alien friends may realize they have become attracted to you, but not to other humans. Conversely, no development of secondary sexual attraction not indicative of "shallow" emotional relationship.

isosexualities, defined as sexual attraction to specific sets of people both in one's own species and in other species. If human, then may be attracted to female human and asari — or to all humans and turians — or to some humans, krogan, hanar, and female turians.

pansexuality, defined as sexual attraction to individuals where species and gender not factors of sexual attraction.

xenophilia, defined as exclusive sexual attraction to non-conspecifics — that is, excluding only members of one's own species.

Spectrum of xenophilia different from cross-species liaisons, i.e. any sexual relationship where at least two of the participants are from different species. Cross-species liaisons type of sexual intercourse — sexuality motivation for intercourse : for instance, species-directed sexual attraction can be entirely irrelevant if individual develops sexual attraction to person they are in love with (demisexualities).

Specific number of hurdles to cross-species liaisons : mutually unsatisfying sexual stimulation at best, physical danger at worst. For the latter : please see Chapters 2 and 3. For the former : please see Chapters 4 and 5.

Sex like medicine : goal is for all people seeking it out to feel better after and not suffer harm. Should be only concerns in sexual activity — unfortunately, high possibility that people you will be attracted to or who you respect will think some types of sexual attraction or sexual behaviors intrinsically wrong. As humans newcomers to galactic society, high possibility you, as person watching series of educational videos on safe and satisfying sex with non-humans, will fall victim to bigoted commentary, actions, judgement — perhaps already have. Must be aware of three things :

who is likely to hate you, so that you can stay safe. Batarians from Batarian Hegemony usually consider all non-batarians their biological inferiors — racist society will influence any attraction individuals may feel toward you ; turians may feel that consorting with recent enemies of Hierarchy unpatriotic ; many possible examples, with no strict rules based on species.

how you can create and expand safe conditions for you to express authentic feelings. Hiding yourself - internalizing shame - and being unable to sincerely voice thoughts and emotions to social peer without fear of judgement overwhelmingly likely to cause lasting psychological and physiological harm. You must work for freedom of wellbeing — yours and others'.

which prejudices you might have internalized, and how to discard them. Do not assume everything you believe is right ! Check everything ! Consider alternative viewpoints ! How can you prevent harm ? Would you be able to recognize you are not being harmed but causing harm ?

Keep in mind in the meantime : desire unfair, love unfair — or so I'm told. No rule or reason for target of attraction — no "deserts" for who arouses or fails to arouse you — no correlation with attraction and who you are. No choosing who one is attracted to, so no reason for guilt — things you control only things one should feel guilty about, things you do. Above all, do no harm to anyone.

This includes yourself.

Seamlessly leading us into next topic of discussion : paraphilias, or sexual attraction to beings or things unable to understand or reciprocate sexual attraction, such as : rocks ; autotrophs ; non-sapient animals ; sub-adults ; corpses ; and computers.

Last case particularly important — commonly but confusingly known as robosexuality, or attraction to virtual intelligences (VIs). Somewhat prevalent, and perhaps inevitable : VIs computer programs supposed to present credible illusion of intelligence and personhood to users, so confusing VI for person arguably the point — Citadel legislation actually forces programmers to make VIs distinctively artificial in speech, appearance or mannerisms to decrease chances of VI imprinting and enamorment — dramatic decrease in cases of people suing Council and each other for opposition to marrying Avina since edict enacted. However, plenty of VI emulations of personalities and historical figures, many of them illegal — possibility of falling in love and engaging in sex with non-sapient programs still possible.

Robosexuality usually considered most benign parasexuality, as not some kind of rape but delusional masturbation practices. Slight controversy over use, however : historically, used incorrectly as slur by individuals and groups opposed to romantic and sexual relationships with true AIs — heavily influenced by siarist beliefs that anything asari cannot reproduce with not meaningfully alive. Synthetic rights advocacy groups argue for discontinuing use of "robosexuality", preferring "robophilia" for the VI-related paraphilia and proposing to consider AIs like organic sapient species, subject to sexual attraction types described above. For their part, some fringe transcendency cultists center worship and behavior on, quote, "becoming the squirming fucktoys of our eventual eldritch Singularity overlords," unquote. As all AIs but geth extinct at present, and geth infamously uninterested in sexual congress despite best efforts of peace-through-fucks activists, debate entirely academic.

PART 1 : Chapter 2 : Consent, Enthusiasm and Communication

Sexual activity must happen with the mutual consent of all parties involved at any given time. There is no situation where you are entitled to have sex with anyone, and no one is entitled to have sex with you.

Consent dependent on ability to freely withhold it at any point. If in situation when consent cannot be withheld, then sexual activity can only be subjected on person — rape.

Sexual consent defined by several criteria :

Is sexual partner able to intellectually assess full ramifications of sexual experience ? If sexual activity perpetrated on person whose decision-making abilities are hindered by intoxicating compounds (alcohol, recreational drugs, medicine, etc), or on still developing sub-adult, or on unconscious person, etc, then those are forms of rape — because individuals unable to make informed consent.

Does sexual partner feel free to refuse part of or entirety of sexual experience ? If sexual activity obtained through violence, threat of violence, or various kinds of pressure (e.g. unequal power dynamic), then consent impossible. If person feels unable to resist sexual activity, feels that sexual activity is inevitable, then you are not a sexual partner, but engaging in rape.

Can sexual partner actually communicate consent or withholding thereof ? Cannot if unconscious — cannot if been denied every form of communication (accommodations to have some manner of communication are made in safe forms of "kink play", e.g. BDSM. Unsure as to what acronym stand for, but attentiveness to consent and communication essential to such practices. Might write paper on topic). Likewise, if form of sexual activity deceptively imposed, then ability to communicate consent or withhold consent has been denied.

Moreover :

Explicit consent to sexual intercourse or discrete sexual activities does not entail automatic consent to continued sexual intercourse or different sexual activities. People can change their minds ! People may feel very enthusiastic about some things but not others ! Therefore, never assume that consent is a given.

In light of everything that has been said, it is your responsibility to check whether person with whom you desire sexual intercourse, or who has expressed desire for sexual intercourse, or with whom you are currently engaged in sexual intercourse, would consent to proposed activity. First consider checklist above — and if still in doubt, ask ! Sex should, by all accounts, be fun — do not gamble with the possibility of hurting other.

Finally, be sure to be treated as you should treat others. Do not compromise on it.

As a result, consent can only be freely given, continuous, informed, specific, and explicit.

Generally considered in galaxy that consent sole basis to determine what constitutes legal sexual activity and what constitutes rape. However, pan-species cultural hegemony on sexual activities predicated on belief that freely given and freely received sexual activity characterized by enthusiasm. Sex worker possibly not enthusiastic about their job, but not being raped — but casual or committed sexual partners entitled to more than simply contractually agreeing to sex acts. Ideal sex not alternation of fantasy realizations with dull, disgusting or degrading acts performed for partners' sakes : according to Xenoanthropological Society of Sur'Kesh, sex supposed not to be a chore but anticipated activity ; according to siari, sex supposed to be a connection. Sex not something done to someone else — sex done with someone else, together.

Enthusiasm in sex defined as mutual, eager, and joyful engagement in every sex act — free sexual activity understood as distinct from a contractual relationship. In practice :

no negotiation on sex acts : no agreeing, for instance, to oral sex to get out of prospect of anal sex — if you do not want to have either oral or anal sex, don't — you deserve better.

no bargaining on sex acts : no agreeing, for instance, to sex act performed on partner unpleasant for self in exchange of sex act performed on self but partner reluctant — sex not reciprocal exchange of pleasant acts tallied at end of intercourse — literature stresses that sex supposed to be willing and fun.

no duty to explain reluctance or disgust : if you don't want to do such and such, that is more than enough : that is the whole point.

Vital therefore to stress importance of communication again. You must freely and unequivocally express your desires or lack of desires in sexual situation — and you must communicate to partner or partners expectation they can and must do the same. Likewise, best if partner asks and checks with you if specific sexual acts desirable and desired, and that you do the same. Best policy to make this routine with new sexual partners, or to create safe and enjoyable intimate environment with regular sexual partners — but necessary with partners of different species, different cultures. You do not know how aliens "do it" — remember as well that aliens may not know how humans like their sex and come with their own assumptions.

But consider : sometimes, physically difficult to communicate during sex. If engaged in strenuous physical activity, may struggle to speak coherently, or translator may struggle to pick up what is being said — to avoid having to slow down a good thing in order to be ethical, best to agree on set of simple visual signs to signify "stop" or "I'm OK".

Sexy Spacer's Sign common solution in cross-species liasons — adaptation of universal sign language designed for silent communication during EVAs outside of starship by and for all spacers regardless of species — most individuals using it deeply satisfied and believe it to be conducive to deeply enjoyable sexual situations. Pros : extended vocabulary for many sexual situations, from simple semantic constructions - "Keep going", "Harder", "Stop", "Slow down" - to modifiers - "just a little more", " a lot", "now", etc - to more complex requests - for instance, "Penetrate my cloaca with your aedeagus" (in practice, "AEDEAGUS"/"PENETRATION"/"CLOACA"/[injunctive]) — not necessary to establish protocols of communication for extended time before actual sexual intercourse beyond asking "Do you know Sexy Spacer's Sign ?" Cons : dependent on partner knowing Sexy Spacer's Sign. Many free asari-made learning courses on the extranet, high-quality — apps with simulstim options more enticing (see Chapter 5), but often of lesser quality.

I will update regularly. As low as once a week, perhaps faster depending on engagement.

crapeaucrapeau

PART 1 : Chapter 3 : Protection

Disease - and other kinds of adverse physiological reactions - considered the "unsexy" part of sex. Certainly hope so — attraction to sores and purulent genitalia would be… problematic. Ah ? Attention to proper hygiene and protection believed to spoil the fun of sex ? Why, Imaginary Off-Camera Human, maybe the true kind of "unsexy sex" was the kind that kept you from having sex all along — the unsafe kind. The kind with pus.

Won't lie — safe sex in potential patients primary preoccupation as a physician. Alarmed by frankly dangerous or mind-boggling decisions allosexual individuals often make when aroused — desire to engage in sex seems to cause marked decrease in intelligence. Thankfully temporary. No treatment, unfortunately, beside prevention. Consider this your immunity shot.

With handpuppets !

[Dr. S. triumphantly displays two rudimentary handpuppets made out of human socks and googly eyes. The one on his right hand is green, and black threads stitched to the sole of the sock represent long human hair. The one on his left hand is gray and hairless.]

[In the following sequence, Dr. S. is pretending he is failing at being a ventriloquist. The sock dialogue is transcribed with the identity of each sock for ease of comprehension. The socks are filmed up close in a standard shot/countershot fashion suggestive of dialogue. For some reason, an upbeat ragtime tune is playing in the background.]

[There is a short epilepsy warning on the screen.]

[GREEN SOCK] "Greetings, alien ! I am a human from the planet Earth ! A complex interaction of factors has resulted in my undergoing sexual arousal upon perceiving you ! Would you like to engage in intercourse ?"

[GRAY SOCK] "I am also experiencing sexual arousal for many different reasons ! Let's have sex !"

[GREEN SOCK] "I want to have sex with you so much I am unwilling to delay for even a few seconds ! I do not intend to use any kind of genital protection !"

[GRAY SOCK] "That is alright ! As we are different species, we cannot reproduce together, and diseases which evolved in parallel with our respective biologies could not survive the conditions of a completely alien body, so we can go natural ! Right ?"

[The word "WRONG", in capital letters, flashes several times on the screen.]

[GREEN SOCK] "This seems like a good idea ! We both want to experience the best stimuli during sexual intercourse, so the direct contact of our skins and mucous membranes will cause a better sexual experience ! There is no downside !"

[The word "WRONG" flashes again across the screen. This time, it's written in red.]

[GRAY SOCK] "Let us imbibe bodily fluids !"

[An intertitle with a Hawaiian print briefly replaces the riveting sock dialogue. Dr. S.'s voice reads the caption out loud with a bad French accent. The caption reads : "A standard period of incubation later…"]

[GREEN SOCK, panicking] "Oh no ! Gangrene has set in my genitalia and they have withered away ! This was neither foreseen nor foreseeable !"

[The word "WRONG", now flashing white and red and slanted at an angle to make it bigger, reappears.]

[GRAY SOCK] "I have not personally suffered any adverse consequences and do not regret my choices. As I do not have any symptoms, I will also choose not to undergo tests just in case."

[Dr. S.'s finger violently rips through the presumed belly of GRAY SOCK. GRAY SOCK gasps and dies dramatically. Dr. S.'s finger has tiny googly eyes too.]

[A title card with "THE END" written in an elegant font, white on black, appears.]

[GREEN SOCK, talking to Dr. S.'s finger] "Greetings ! Would you like to engage in intercourse ?"

[Back to the same title card. It remains mostly unchanged, but now reads "THE END ?".]

[Dr. S. reappears.]

Personal health and odds of having sex again under threat by three enemies :

diseases

parasites

and cross-species fluid contact.

Socks were right that fundamental differences in biology often insurmountable obstacle to microorganisms adapting to new alien habitat — but not impossible. Mutation happens ! Contrary to popular misconception, cross-species sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) exist. Most STDs, as with most cross-species diseases, overwhelmingly caused by bacteria and pseudo-bacteria - unicellular microorganisms capable of independent asexual reproduction - not by viruses or virus analogues - parasitic microorganisms dependent on host cells for reproduction - but even then exceptions exist.

Cross-species STDs come in two kinds : parasitic STDs and commensal STDs. Simple difference : parasitic STDs manage to reproduce, spread in alien organism and harm it despite difference in physiology — for instance, human may be infected by disease native from Khar'shan after sex with unknowingly infected batarian, and will start exhibiting symptoms of disease — importantly, the same microorganism may well cause different symptoms in different species.

Meanwhile, commensal STDs defined as any STD which can reproduce in alien organism without any ill effects to alien organism, to the point alien may be unaware they have been infected — but will be asymptomatic carrier and vector of disease. For instance, turian may be infected by Earth disease known as gonorrhea after sex with human, turian will not show any symptoms — but bacteria will reproduce in cavity, and will infect next human turian will have unprotected sex with next.

Parasites defined as any multicellular organism using different species as source of nutrition to complete life cycle, with detrimental effect to host organism. Much rarer than STDs, because greater biological complexity and longer lifecycle relative to microorganisms make adaptation to alien organisms more difficult — but sometimes life finds a way. Especially when life is worms.

Sometimes distinction between STDs and parasites academic : sexually-transmitted molds multicellular, but in practice treated like STDs ; on the other hand, Heshtok venereal cancer (HVC) clearly an STD but effectively behaves like parasite.

But most serious concern for would-be sex enjoyers : cross-species fluid contact — contact with any fluid from an alien species may cause undesirable physiological reactions ranging from off-putting to painful to deadly. Reactions can be allergic - sometimes escalating to anaphylactic shock - or unfortunate result of unforeseen immune vulnerability to alien fluid itself or sexual partner's microbiota. In theory, mouth-to-mouth kissing potentially deadly because of saliva exchange, contact with tongue, or bacteria on teeth, gums, insides of cheeks.

Good news ! In practice, no such infection risks for humans — only concern risk of allergy, especially prevalent in sexual relationships with individuals from reverse-amino-acid species, i.e. turians and quarians. Anaphylactic shock rare, though not impossible — best to avoid ingestion of bodily fluids. Bigger problem : reaction colloquially called lockjunk — penetration of any kind resulting in inflammation of mucous membrane, swelling, until intromittent organ and recipient cavity (usually either recipient organ like vagina, or cavity like rectum) stuck together, with no possibility of separation without medical intervention. Can also be provoked by use of inappropriate lubricants. Odds increased by use of "cockring". Important to seek out medical professional immediately. Dangerous sometimes — always highly embarrassing.

Better news ! Easy solution to all problems : making sure they don't happen in the first place. How ?

Sexscreen !

[Dr. S. pulls out a tray covered in realistic dildos, with some variety for the human-looking ones - girth, length, trans, cis, piercings - but otherwise an exemplar for each kind of non-human intromittent organ. There are also realistic molds of various recipient organs : vulvas and vaginas, azures, cloacae, anuses, etc.]

[Dr. S. puts on goggles and takes a spray with various cartoon intromittent organs drawn on the label.]

Sexscreen - often called "fuckscreen" or "universal condoms" - 22nd century solution to 22nd century problems. Transparent gel applied over surface of genitalia of your choice — solidifies into film perfectly adapted to surface and shape of organ, with excess gel both inside and out acting as lubricant and germicide. Obviously concern over not finding condoms one's own size not only irrelevant, but obsolete.

[Dr. S. demonstrates with an upbeat montage where he applies sexscreen on all the dildos and molds. The sexscreen only appears as a smooth sheen over the replicas.]

Can barely be seen, and adapts smoothly to any change of position, shape, girth, etc — and thin enough no significant change in quality and quantity of sexual stimuli — as if not there at all !

[Dr. S. demonstrates by turning on a few dildos, which dramatically move, expand, contract, and change shapes in ways frankly too obscene and inconceivable to describe — without the smooth sexscreen ever breaking or coming loose.]

Extremely elastic. Won't tear — but can be pierced, so avoid nibbling from pointy-toothed sexual partners, and be careful with claws during manual stimulation. Unlike traditional condoms, possible to reuse it — just think to renew it by adding more raw sexscreen on film every two hours of continuous and vigorous sexual activity to be safe — otherwise, will start flaking. Can sense when ought to renew it when texture turns papery. If prone to ejaculations, however, best to change sexscreen rather than renew it, as otherwise semen will accumulate in loose mass at end of distended sexscreen condom.

Different flavors available, including synthetic approximations of what sexual partner's body should taste like to your species, without risk of swelling and death. Specifics dependent on particular brand of sexscreen.

With sexscreen, sexual activity safe and fun — without, likely no sexual activity at all.

crapeaucrapeau

PART 1 : Chapter 4 : Different Anatomies

Question you must have asked yourself is : why do most species derive extreme pleasure stimulus from sexual stimulus ? Have not all species independently evolved ? Shouldn't they be alien — sharing no recognizable anatomical or behavioral feature ?

The answer : convergent evolution. During their evolution, unrelated species will converge on similar traits or features because of net advantage to species' continued survival in present environment. Eyes best-known example : evolution of light-sensitive cells confers better understanding of environment, hence trait increases chances of survival, repeatedly selected and passed over generations — subsequent mutations and selections further refine original deviant trait into full light-receptive sensory organs : eyes. Present in virtually 100% of all known sapient species.

As a result, most sapient species also converged on similar sexual strategy : pleasure. If sex highly pleasant activity, individuals more likely to seek it out - hence more likely to pass on their genes - than individuals indifferent to sexual activity. In those species, reproduction therefore dependent on convergent evolution of erogenous zones — parts of body with high sensitivity, whose stimulation can engage pleasure response feedback loop — typically relaxation, sexual arousal, and increasing pleasure inputs culminating in orgasms.

Erogenous zones not the same as genitalia — external reproductive organs. Some species - salarians chief among them - have genitalia but no erogenous zones at all. If present, erogenous zones often on surface of genitalia, but also present elsewhere. Erogenous anatomy highly dependent on species and individual — will be examined on a case-by-case basis in Part 2. On the other hand, genitalia types much more limited — convergent evolution restricted to very few anatomical models.

Evolution of genitalia dependent on environment but also on specific sexual system — how "female" and "male" functions are distributed and associated. Different axes :

a species can reproduce sexually or asexually. Asari best-known exemplar of the latter, though also prevalent in 50% of volus, all vorcha in optimal environmental conditions, female salarians spawning males, some elcor from a certain point of view, and hanar polyps.

species can have the same single set of sexual systems or a discrete sex per individual — can either have both sexual systems functioning simultaneously and be called monocline, synoecious, hermaphroditic or cosexual — or can be unisexual. Name misleading : "unisexual" means one sex per individual, but more than one in species — usually gonochoric or dioecious species, like yourself — two-sexed species ! Easier to evolve this way. Synoecious species include hanar adults and 50% of all volus over 45 years old — gonochoric species include humans, salarians, turians, krogan, drell, 50% of all volus under 45, most batarians. Elcor roughly three-sexed, turians arguably four-sexed, vorcha seven-sexed. Mixed sexual systems also possible, though rare — some individuals monocline, others unisexual. Batarians trioecious — individuals female, male, or both. Quarians gynodioecious — individuals either female or both female and male.

species can either have a perennial sex or sequential sexes — naturally change sex under certain conditions. Individuals from most known species have a fixed, perennial sex (salarians, asari, turians, humans, krogan, 50% of all volus, hanar, batarians, quarians, 15.6% of all vorcha) — exceptions include some drell (protandrous, or male to female, in the right conditions), elcor, 50% of all volus (from unisexual to monocline), and 84.4% of all vorcha (from one initial sex to another, ulterior sex, with bidirectional transitions sometimes occurring in rare, extreme conditions).

Several types of genitalia possible :

First is cloaca — generalist orifice combining waste excretion with reproductive function. Present in salarians and volus. In salarians, reproduction external, as with many species reproducing in aquatic medium : both sexes eject sex cells - gametes - outside of body. In volus, reproduction internal as with almost all species reproducing outside of aquatic medium (or liquid ammonia medium in this case) : gametes of one sex transferred into body of compatible sexual partner to facilitate fecundation. In volus, achieved through so-called "cloacal kiss", as with most Earth birds.

More frequent, however, is use of specialized intromittent organ - organ for internal reproduction, introduced into recipient genitals of sexually compatible partners by penetration of appropriate orifice. Typically, same structure present in all individuals of species, but different form depending on sex — here called "clitoris" in females and "penis" or "phallus" in males as shorthand for human-centered education material. "Female" and "male" also shorthand — "male" genitalia defined as organ introducing gametes in different body, "female" genitalia defined as related structure without gamete ejection function. Universal evolution challenge of intromittent organs is maintaining appropriate shape during penetration for optimal gamete dispersal, increasing odds of reproduction and gene transfer. Convergent evolution provides similar anatomical and physiological solutions to same problem :

flaccid organ assumes rigid shape thanks to fluid transfer. Must be familiar — called erection ! Penis can remain outside of body when flaccid (humans, drell) or withhold within body (krogan, quarians). Fluid resulting in engorgement usually blood or lymph.

eversion also common solution : intromittent organ at rest not "tucked" within body but inverted, rolled up, like pair of socks ! Told this would be meaningful metaphor. When individual aroused, organ is everted - turns inside out - and assumes required shape. Solution evolution favored for batarians, elcor, hanar, vorcha, and many Earth species !

turians unique among known sapient species, as penis and clitoris erect at all times but internal — slide into place when individual aroused or needs to urinate.

asari reproduce through unique form of parthenogenesis — zygote originally identical to mother's other cells — asari obviously lack penile or clitoral structure, as lack sex distinction and need for internal reproduction. Arguably, asari have erogenous zones and gonads, but no genitalia.

Fun historical fact : evidence suggests rachni reproduction happened through introduction into Queen vagina of sticky gamete package held in Brood Warrior whip-arm pincers. Brood Warrior pincers then broke off to seal passage and prevent Queen fertilization by rival males. Rachni extinction thankfully makes particular form of orifice occlusion unlikely today. Occlusion by other objects unfortunate possibility. Unless licensed and sterilized sex toys or secure bits of person's body, please do not introduce foreign objects into any canal — you will be grateful. So will medical personnel.

crapeaucrapeau

PART 1 : Chapter 5 : Exploration

When in consensual sexual situation with new naked partner, many unknowns : which parts of partner's body will most induce pleasure ? Are their erotic preferences compatible with yours ? Is that big dangly bit supposed to look like this ? What should you do ?

Answer same as with new human sexual partners : communication ! And, most of all, exploration.

Best advice for first time intercourse with first time sexual partner : leave genitalia alone. Tempting otherwise to default on basic playbook of normalized sexual interactions : rub bits. Rub bits together. Slot bits together if possible. Make noises to incentivize continued bit stimulation. Repeat until some liquid discharge and at least 50% of partners too tired or bored to continue.

Problem with basic playbook : basic. Generalized. Non-specific. By definition, not up to individual preferences — either sexual partner's, or yours.

But — if decide to leave genitalia alone — if choose to explore instead — will map out unique, individual sexual preferences and establish scientific basis for optimal sexual experience. Is asari partner sensitive to touch of scalp crest tips ? To kissing of scalp crest tips ? To licking ? To sucking ? To nibbling ? To biting ? To pinching ? Does turian partner enjoy stimuli of mandibles, or indifferent ? Does batarian partner like stimulation of cartilage crown ? Would new batarian partner like it ? Would third batarian partner ?

Same goes for you : how would you rate stimulation of ear lobes ? Of nipples ? Of fingers ? Licking, kissing, nibbling, biting, pinching, touching, stroking, fondling ?

Do you know ?

If not sure, think back to previous sexual experiences — if no previous satisfying sexual experiences, masturbation some good start, though fairly limited in number of limbs and organs available. Supplement with sexual toys. Fabricators great assets in that regard ! Every kind of template available on the extranet — no exotic raw materials required — conversion of implement back to raw material keeps expenses down. Also kills off all potential disease vectors.

Outside of intercourse, be analytical about exploration of own sexual preferences ! Make charts — collate all possible bits of you on chart, as well as all possible interactions. Engage in trial and error !

During intercourse, best to directly communicate established sexual preferences to new partner ! But always dare to try something new. And seek the partners with whom you won't censor yourself. Be weird !

Necessary condition to successful mutual exploration of sexual preferences : no anxiety over sexual performance. Anxiety antithetical to sex — sex supposed to be fun. Beside, you are not a sex toy : you do not have a market value determined by use and performance. Mutual exploration is about connection, vulnerability, establishing trust, even with a stranger you'll never see again — that, perhaps even more than pleasure, is good sex, according to academic near-consensus.

Obstacle to exploration : pornography. Pornography not unethical if not made unethically, but : in mass market societies, like yours, pornography an industry — content streamlined and standardized for mass consumption with lowest common denominators — does not depict participants, acts and situations least likely to induce mass engagement for maximum profit. Statistically, industrial pornography will not be most exciting and arousing pornography for you. Small exceptions for niche markets — but what if you are a market of one ? Nothing for you. Worse, industrial pornography creates norms of arousal and intercourse in self-reinforcing memetic loop to which you are not immune — problematic. Necessary, therefore, to limit experience of industrial pornography to develop unique, individual sexual taste. Alternatives ! Artisanal pornography, for instance. Pornography made with additional concerns beside profit motive. Also : sex with actual people.

Best way to experience didactic titillating content : pornosims from the Citadel Institute of Xenoerology (CIX), freely available on the extranet. Pornosims new technology for you : simstims which direct the senses by stimulating key parts of the brain to perfectly simulate sexual experiences, with complex, expansive and carefully crafted interactive features supplemented by spontaneously VI-generated content. Unlike mass market pornosims, which fully adapt to sexual kinks and fetishes sometimes past the point of surreality, CIX pornosims strive to simulate reality of actual experiences, with partners with their own discrete, confused or contradictory sexual kinks and fetishes — never repeatable, never customizable, never a fantasy, never induce psychotic breaks from reality, and never depict illegal acts or simulate actual persons living or dead (also illegal).

So get out there ! And try to find out the ways only you enjoy sex.

[Addendum in the 2.0 edition, dated 2170 CE — Dr. S. looks noticeably older, and his good cheer looks slick and brittle.] Hello ! Talking to you from my future — relative to original recording time. Aware that new pornographic magazine, Fornax, popular with humans. Fornax not interested in depicting sex realistically or challenging common pornographic tropes. Not a way to learn about sex with non-humans. Not conducive to expanding sexual horizons.

[By 2185, nearly twenty years after its launch in 2167, Fornax could boast of a monthly publishing run of 127 millions in both hardcopy and direct download. The economy of scale dependent on that large consumer base allowed Fornax to become the first human magazine to offer full sensory stimulation, a previously unaffordable technology in a magazine, by 2172.]

crapeaucrapeau

PART 1 : Chapter 6 : Relationship Models

Different people from different cultures and different species have distinct expectations for sex : what should a sexual relationship involve ? Who should it involve ? How many people ? At what point of personal relationship is sex expected to take place ? Will sexual partner eat me after intercourse ?

(Not a sex metaphor.)

Important to know different sexual expectations ! Same behavior normal in one society, aberrant in another — disappointing unspoken expectations best way to hurt sexual partners, sometimes not only psychologically. Context is key — familiarization with implicit cultural background good, but even better to communicate, and know which questions to ask.

Anatomical variety in sapient species easily categorized in similar types thanks to convergent evolution. Same with cultural variety — but with much greater diversity : individuals from same backgrounds will have different expectations — sex individual experience, personal.

How directly can we communicate about sex ? — In some cultures, regardless of topic, bluntness rude while answers highly indirect and contextual, while in others conversations rarely linear. In cross-cultural contexts such as cross-species sexual relationships, best to adopt policies of directness and of never leaving anything implicit to avoid misunderstandings and culture shock.

Can we talk about previous sexual experiences or sexual prospects and desires in public ? — Many human cultures consider talk about sex fantasies, sex preferences or actual sexual activities improper in public, shameful — but non-human partners may not have same sociocultural strictures. Krogan infamously enjoy talking about sex casually regardless of emotional intimacy with interlocutor, much like they can talk about good meals they have eaten recently. Conversely, hanar have strong division between public and private life : sex not shameful, but not the concern of strangers or mere acquaintances. Meanwhile, asari consider relish of sex juvenile, associated with Maidens : good sex great, but not the most important or exciting thing in the universe — arguable "dedramatization" of sexual activity. Finally, most salarians immensely bored or made to feel awkward by talk about sex — can't relate — left out of conversation by definition, even if talked to.

Can we become sexual partners at all even if we are attracted to each other ? — In interspecies relationships, racism or/and normative cultural expectations toward xenophilia greatest concerns for such question. Hanar unlikely to seek out sexual congress with barbaric heathens like yourself. Officially, Hegemony-sponsored racism makes sexual relationships with non-batarians improper, historically illegal — therefore, historically exotic, exciting, thrilling because outlawed. Likewise, drell expectations to reproduce drives majority toward insularity, less likely to have sexual relationships with non-drell supposed to be serious. Conversely, xenophilia normative for asari. Other major consideration : exclusivity, but more on that with monogamy.

Would sexual intercourse indicate a commitment of some kind ? — Sex can be casual — can be commitment to have sex again — can be commitment to be courteous and kind even if partners commit to never see each other again — can be start of sustained relationship which trumps all preexisting personal relationships — can be start of sustained relationship which does not trump all preexisting personal relationships. Not sure what sex entails ? Ask.

When will we become sexual partners ? — Many diverse possibilities, with great variation depending on individuals and personal preferences — alongside specifics of sexual orientation, crucial factor whether sexual activity altogether considered significant. Some people will immediately have sex with anyone also ready and eager to have sex with them. Some need to have sex only with people they have romantic feelings toward. Some will engage in courtship behavior to establish trust and respect before engaging in sex. Some will only have sex after formal public ceremony ("wedding"). For example, in some elcor cultures, courtship prelude extremely long before commitment to sex, sometimes longer than non-elcor lifetimes, whereas in others, sex casual activity — first sexual intercourse with new partner takes place only after several days or weeks.

Is past sexual experience significant to you ? — Probably won't be the case, though many individuals unlikely to seek out awkward sex with inexperienced partners. Conversely, elcor pre-precoital preludes last longer if they have no sexual experience with certain species — more exhaustive research required, more personal testimonies and advice sought out. Elcor version of Probing Uranus contains several volumes per species — by contrast, serious sexual education by elcor standards runs length of seminars.

Can I expect you not to have sex with anyone else as long as we are committed sexual partners ? — Known as the "monogamy" question in xenoanthropological circles. Answer greatly varies. Some have immediate expectations of exclusivity, some have expectations of exclusivity past specific point of informal spoken agreement or formal ritualized contract ("marriage"), which may or may not have exceptions, some have no expectations of exclusivity at all. For instance, asari and krogan usually consider sexual activity outside of long-standing relationship no breach of emotional and social commitment to partner — polygamy traditional expectation in many cultures, with great variety of taboos and norms — Iperian volus traditionally practice "line marriage", with exclusive expectations of sex with all members of polycule but metamours during reproductive period.

Will we have sex regardless of the time of the year ? — Some species have sex only at certain times of year for hormonal, biological reasons — like volus. Some people from cultures demanding sexual activity or certain sexual acts be limited or prohibited depending on time of day, meteorological conditions, or particular spiritual associations of specific holidays. For instance : traditional turian Caetine folk medicine and asceticism forbids sex when sun visible and moons invisible ; carnality ideologically restricted in Batarian Hegemony during extended period of time prior to yearly Festival of Vitality ; Thessian asari often avoid sexual activity during storms, as risks of erratic and explosive mass effects if lightning strikes raw eezo ore — need to be vigilant.

Where can we have sex ? — People from many species usually have sex where they sleep or where they practice hygiene together, and consider sex in public spaces or on furniture and appliances in shared lodgings inappropriate, even if efforts were made to hide from view. Conversely, some individuals from same backgrounds take personal erotic pleasure in breaking taboos. Privacy a related factor : for instance, turians rarely have sex in bed (in bed, sleep), but must have sex where they will not get in the way of others performing their duty. Specifically dedicated "fuckrooms" in some contexts where space limited (quarian Migrant Fleet, Omega) or cultures where sexual intimacy casual, neither exhibitionist nor secretive (Turian Hierarchy and structures accommodating turians, e.g. C-Sec) — "fuckroster" also probable development.

Will we have sex in private ? — Vorcha, for instance, do not consider sex a secret activity.

Only broad outline : many other possible considerations — best to anticipate them through open, honest communication. Remember : other people have different expectations from yours — not bad because they are not yours, just different. Important to state what expectations are, then agree to mutual framework — best way not to hurt each other !

But beside sociocultural baggage associated to sexual activity, expectations for sexual intercourse itself ! Fascinating ! For example, some cultures consider that certain acts demeaning while others valued and greatly desired — some cultures consider that partner should take up fixed roles during sex - often active/ passive, with varying definitions of what constitutes "passive" and "active" - usually predetermined on the basis of contingent cultural details. Personal variation even greater, perhaps infinite !

Best, therefore, in spirit of scientific inquiry, to take time to communicate about sex itself not only before and during intercourse, but also after. Smooth rhetorical transition to perhaps single universal expectation related to sexual activity beside enjoyable sex : aftercare.

2160 study from Citadel Institute of Xenoerology shows that about 98% of responder sample, regardless of species, expect sexual intercourse with individuals of different species to be followed by non-sexual intercourse known as "aftercare", with little to no sexual aspect but emotional bonding activities — close contact, snuggling, grooming, etc — whatever provides comfort to participants. Aftercare seemingly also great opportunity to review recent sexual activity in reinforcing manner, establish preferences and expectations, lower interpersonal stakes of social performance and vulnerability by openly asking and answering questions such as : What did you like ? What could be different next time ? What do you want to try at some point ? Part of aftercare colloquially known in English human as "stars and wishes", though historical origin of phrase mysterious, and meaning difficult to grab.

Sexologists insist on importance of phrasing aftercare questions and answers in ways that do not feel judgmental, but to never compromise on expressing reactions sincerely and completely. Seemingly difficult balance to achieve for many people— equally imperative on you to take responsibility and refuse to identify sexual partner's opinion on personal sexual actions as indication of personal worth, so that partner able to feel can communicate honestly — conducive to better sex, and to good personal image. Personal worth not tied to sexual performance, ever. Boring consensual sex not the end of the galaxy — boring sexual intercourse to be expected in first sexual relationships — irresponsible or unethical behavior only offensive things in sex.

Cultural historians and xenologists have long observed that though universal expectation of aftercare developed long ago in cross-species relationships - historically and systematically a minority of all sexual relationships in the galaxy -, nonetheless that aftercare expectation gradually spread outside of cross-species "dating scene" and became established in nearly all cultures, regardless of species. Exciting emergence of cross-cultural xeno-anthropological norm ! — very good example of how new situations challenge established principles and create new phenomena fit for a more complex universe — evolution in action but memetic, not biological.

crapeaucrapeau

PART 2 : Introduction

In this part, will provide overview and context for mutually satisfying sexual encounters with every known species. Three parts in each chapter :

Anatomy and reproductive physiology : how does this species reproduce, and how has this impacted their erogenous anatomy ?

Traditional expectations over sexual intimacy and relationships : how do the cultures of this species consider sexual intimacy ? What are their attitudes toward the various aspects of sexual desire and activity ? What is the establishment consensus in their societies on relationships with humans ?

Pleasure and joy with [INSERT SPECIES NAME HERE] : what do individuals generally consider attractive in their own species and in possible sexual partners ? How should you interpret body language ? How can you have safe and very satisfying sex with someone from another species ?

Here is chapter list — be curious ! Don't just look at asari ! No idea what life might throw you !

Chapter 1 : Salarians

Chapter 2 : Asari

Chapter 3 : Turians

Chapter 4 : Volus

Chapter 5 : Elcor

Chapter 6 : Hanar

Chapter 7 : Drell

Chapter 8 : Krogan

Chapter 9 : Batarians

Chapter 10 : Vorcha

Chapter 11 : Quarians

Bonus : Rachni

And don't forget : keep it safe ! Keep it fun !

PART 2 : Chapter 1 : Salarians

Will begin with own species — can do whatever I want. Unstoppable ! Spoilers : salarians have no sexual drive and no concept of romantic love. Cannot have sex with us — cannot have romantic relationship with us — not interested. Sorry !

[Dr. S. doesn't look sorry. He looks very smug.]

Subsequent information therefore entirely for educational purposes — no practicality.

ANATOMY AND REPRODUCTIVE PHYSIOLOGY

Virtually no sexual dimorphism between women and men. Cloaca sole sexual organ — spews eggs or semen into mating pools. Female reproduction - egg-laying - triggered over time by meeting certain environmental conditions tied to seasonality — temperature, humidity. Male reproduction - milt-spraying - triggered over time by egg-laying female pheromones.

Salarians haplodiploid species : boys hatch from unfertilized eggs, girls from fertilized eggs. Boys fatherless — all children raised by most of the mother's clan, especially men — 90% of salarian population male.

TRADITIONAL EXPECTATIONS OVER SEXUAL INTIMACY AND RELATIONSHIPS

Traditional expectations : no sexual intimacy, no sexual relationships. Can feel love for relatives or friends comparable to deep romantic/sexual relationships in intensity, but not in kind. Salarians likewise rationalize intense strength of alien romantic relationships as similar to salarian first-circle relationships. Alien romantic or sexual overtures… awkward.

One exception : committed relationships with asari. Melding crucial here : no sexual component - unless salarian wishes to stimulate asari and experiences asari's pleasure through neural merger - but profound soul intimacy achieved through sharing of neural inputs — frequent unity of selves.

Sex work only possible outside of salarian space — even then, salarian-sex fetishists very niche market — include krogan enjoying salarian flexibility due to cartilage amount in skeletal structure, or wishing to make salarians suffer, humiliate them through tormenting them. Direct contact sex work very dangerous occupation, usually for most destitute salarians — even then, doesn't usually cross their minds — sex an alien reality. Common pornographic fantasy : salarians forcibly injected with hormones and need to "flush it out" [Dr. S. makes air quotes] by engaging in fervid sexual intercourse — very disturbing. Fortunately, most pornography and pornosims VI-generated.

Despite frequent interactions with other species, salarians often boggled by what triggers erogenous response in allosexual individuals. Do not understand why non-salarians eager to lick each other. Frankly, amount of time invested in seeking and having sexual intimacy seems exhausting — and most species already asleep much longer than salarians ! But non-salarians seemingly undergoing physiological response all the time. Was startled today when camerawoman made innuendo to technician undergoing sudation [There are some muffled cries and laughter in the background ; Dr. S. goes on, unfazed.] — thought smell and aspect of sweat associated with filth, typical anti-erotic sensory input — but sexual arousal tied to lowering of disgust threshold in all allosexual individuals. Cause of eventual "snogging", but camerawoman still wouldn't drink glass of technician's spit. [Increasingly frantic cries of "Cut ! Cut !" can be overheard.] Presumably.

Seemingly why he was also f—

[The transition to the next segment is abrupt, cutting Dr. S. mid-sentence. Close attention reveals he looks very pleased with himself.]

PLEASURE AND JOY WITH SALARIANS

None ! Not sexually at least.

crapeaucrapeau

PART 2 : Chapter 2 : Asari

Overwhelming statistical likelihood that average human viewer will first experience attraction to non-humans for asari — also probable first sexual experiences with non-humans will be with asari. Necessary to start with asari and with dispelling of a few myths and urban legends.

[With some effort, Dr. S. lifts a hand-crafted wheel of fortune and places it on the table. Each section of the wheel of fortune sports a piece of paper describing a common myth about asari and asari sexuality in neat handwriting. The writing is in English. Upon closer examination, it appears that the papers are contained in transparent slots, so that they can be easily inserted and removed.]

[Dr. S. insisted that this scene be shot again for each language version : the small bits of paper describe the same myths about asari in the language used in the video, always written by the same hand.]

Let's spin the wheel ! Oh my — "ALL ASARI WANT TO FUCK ME". Listen, hypothetical straw-human : while many asari have more sexual activity with more sexual partners than standard in many human cultures and subcultures, asari do not engage in sex indiscriminately — though common stereotype. Asari are individuals — different tastes, desires, energy levels, libido levels, sexualities, etc. Even if asari was to have sex with many non-humans, might not be attracted to humans ! And even if attracted to humans, might not be attracted to you !

"ASARI ARE ALL SO ATTRACTIVE TO EVERY SPECIES BECAUSE OF MIND CONTROL" — no. First, not everyone attracted to asari. Krogan fairly evenly divided on the matter. Salarian/asari liaisons entirely dependent on the emotional relationship and the intimacy of melding, but whatever physical appreciation is felt is aesthetic, not sexual. Second, impossible for asari to have naturally developed universal pheromone-based attraction mechanism working on species who evolved in entirely separate biospheres — phenomenon of cross-species attraction to asari dependent on culturally mandatory concern of xenophilia for asari as well as long-standing, unchallenged cultural hegemony. No spooky "domination" effect at a distance — just non-asari prejudice against asari.

"MY CHILDREN WITH AN ASARI WOULD BE ASARI-HUMAN HYBRIDS" — while would-be asari mothers use genome of sexual partner as template or inspiration to modify asari zygote, no genetic material from non-asari father present in daughters — no gene transfer. Hypothetical offspring with asari will be asari, 100% of the time. Still your offspring, if you raise her and care for her and give her the love and skills she needs to thrive.

"ASARI SAP OUR LIFE FORCE DURING SEX, STEAL OUR WOMEN AND TAKE OUR MEN'S MOST VIABLE GAMETES FOR THEMSELVES, FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THEIR SPECIES AND THE GENETIC IMPOVERISHMENT OF OUR OWN" — won't lie — discovery of prejudice was… challenging. Appears to be human stereotypes projected on asari. 1 : asari discrete individuals with personal and distinct experiences, opinions, believes and motives — no "hive mind" — no singular, universal, species-wide motive. Ascribing one where none exists or could exist… problematic. 2 : asari biologically incapable of incorporating non-asari material. Exhaustion following sexual activity usually indicative of energetic and usually enjoyable sexual activity ! Or of poor endurance. If in doubt, best consult physician. 3 : no such thing as "life force". 4 : women people, not property — can't be stolen. If stolen, then enslaved — if enslaved, then "theft" actually liberation and you must report yourself to nearest law enforcement office and reexamine past decisions and personal values. 5 : again, asari incapable of incorporating foreign biological material — including gametes. If viable gametes rare occurrence, consult physician for fertility issues. 6 : betterment of asari species through culturally mandated xenophilia spiritual and cultural — not physical. No incorporation of non-human biological material. Non-asari fathers foster asari appreciation and understanding of non-asari cultures and societies. Asari not interested in supremacy — too focused on equalizing power dynamics — trying to achieve future where different peoples spontaneously wish to live together in harmony. 7 : no such thing as "genetic impoverishment". Human species will not "degenerate" — will not start producing more disabled individuals.

"ASARI ARE WOMEN" — common mistake. Many morphological traits ascribed to human women - breasts, wide hips - present in asari — but more to it than anthropocentrism. During First First Contact in 520 BCE, salarian biases led to female gender assigned to asari leaders - femininity coextensive with political power in all salarian cultures - and asari did not contest gender ascription, partly because could be taken seriously as "women", partly because "gender" completely alien construct for them — asari are asari. Existence of "women" would suggest existence of "men", past or present — not the case. Asari not "unisexual" either, as that would imply existence of at least two discrete forms of reproductive systems.

"ASARI ARE PEOPLE WITH INDIVIDUAL NEEDS, WANTS AND EXPECTATIONS DEPENDENT ON UNIQUE COMBINATION OF BIOLOGICAL, CULTURAL, SOCIOLOGICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTORS" — why, hypothetical straw-human ! Very good ! Not prejudice if true !

Now, onto the anatomical charts !

[Dr. S. pushes the wheel off-camera. An added sound effect suggests that it crashes off the table, makes antique trash cans clatter on the ground and distresses at least three stray cats.]

ANATOMY AND REPRODUCTIVE PHYSIOLOGY

Asari superficially similar to humans in terms of morphology : primary reproductive characteristics determined by parthenogenetic mode of reproduction, include two breasts for lactation, birth canal, large hips to give live birth.

Primary asari erogenous zone area near buttocks, around vulva and usually extending to inner thighs. Always has bright, vivid colour contrasting with colour of individual's skin — different names, most well-known Illium slang "azure", though improper — usually closer to cyan. Only hues of blue, including on asari with purple scales.

Ultraviolet patterns, invisible to human eyes, radiate from vulva on "azure" — striking example of convergent evolution with petals of species of flowering Earth flora, guiding animals to nectar they wish to lap. Similar purpose too. Azure's contrasting appearance with asari complexion analogous to thick pubic hair on otherwise sparsely hairy human body — draws sexual partner's gaze.

So-called "azure" complexion - actually cyan, with symmetrical ultraviolet patterns - possible in asari, but considered an unusual skin tone. "Titillating". Famous 17th-century asari soprano Sharblu also famous for azure hue of skin. One Argos Rho planet's atmospheric composition chromatically reminiscent of renowned, sexually charged skin tone — named after Sharblu by asari surveyors.

Birth canal not as sensitive as gonochoric vaginas, but nonetheless has disproportionate amount of nerve endings necessary for process of childbirth — asari therefore able to derive direct pleasure from stimulation and penetration of birth canal, which they historically have through manual and oral means. Long melding ganglia also running along entire length of birth canal and womb. Allow mother to meld with gestating fetus, and make it easier to maintain melding connection with sexual partner, as hands "fingering" vulva or vulva "grinding" different vulva likeliest forms of sexual stimulation.

No clitoris, but labia and small cartilage ridges in outer perimeter of vulva, highly sensitive —best to be delicate. Nipples also particularly sensitive to various forms of stimulation — touch, heat, moisture, etc. Breasts can be fondled, enjoyable for many individuals. More firm than human analogues, however — internal structure more supportive of mass and shape. No back damage as in some humans.

Other erogenous zones include : scalp crests, neck folds. Highly sensitive to touch — must be handled delicately. Experiments recommended with caution, but usually rewarding.

Also hands. Asari hands far more densely packed with nerve ends than human hands — have own ganglia to process information during melding — hands considered sexual organs in their own right. Recur as symbols of intimacy, love and power in asari cultures throughout the ages. Most asari at least partly cover their hands in public as a result.

Evolution of erogenous zones in asari somewhat puzzling at first glance, as no need to induce internal reproduction as in most non-asari, gonochoric species : asari reproduce through melding process unique to many Thessian species — dermal connection of discrete nervous systems of asari and sexual and/or romantic partner into one unified nervous system, sharing inputs and outputs. During melding, half of genetic material of spontaneously produced unicellular zygote - genetically identical to asari mother - modified in response to "attuned" partner through melding. No erotic excitement and sexual stimulation actually necessary for conception, but often believed that convergent evolution of erogenous anatomy inducement to lead asari and partner to seek out, through sexual stimulation, emotional intimacy and ultimate source of pleasure, i.e. sexual gratification while melding : asari undergoing erotic melding actually able to sense both partner's and their own excitement, emotions and pleasurable stimulation of erogenous zones.

Development of melding ability clear marker of climacteric transitions to all three stages of asari adulthood, Maiden, Matron, and Matriarch. Maidens gain ability to meld with biological adulthood — but unable to have children of their own. Matrons gain ability to bear children, alongside desire to settle down and raise them. Matriarchs usually lose ability to have children, though pregnancies not unheard of, especially at beginning of Matriarch stage.

Actual biological mechanism of melding poorly understood, in part because of great asari reluctance to scientifically investigate it. Cursory evidence suggests that no gene transfer actually occurs during melding, as asari famously able to reproduce with non-asari melding partner : gene transfer between species from separate biospheres utterly and completely impossible — asari genome not based on any of four nucleotide bases constituent of human DNA, for instance. However, some genetic exchange between asari must happen even though asari now almost universally reproduce with non-asari, as otherwise parthenogenesis would entail asari would have started speciating long ago : asexual modes of reproduction, like parthenogenesis, increase odds of genetic drift and sympatric speciation thanks to de facto total reproductive isolation. Indeed, asari unable to reproduce without a melding partner.

Different explanations for lack of asari interest in scientific understanding of melding possible : for example, asari ability to reproduce with all known organic sapient lifeforms cornerstone of hegemonic siari religious and philosophical system — possible that, despite faith, asari subconsciously aware that scientific experimentation might reveal uncomfortable truth.

Other possibility : some biological determinism. Asari who give birth to infants known as "mothers" — partners "fathers", regardless of gender. You can only be father - or step-father - as a result. According to asari, offspring acquire best qualities of fathers from melded genes, fatherhood tangible. However, in light of evidence for lack of gene transfer, fathers would only be source of relative inspiration at best. From strictly evolutionary perspective, advantageous for odds of offspring survival if additional adult engaged in childrearing — necessary that melding partner considered father.

However, hypothesis contradicted by archaeological and historical evidence : prototypical prehistoric asari societies seemingly nomadic bands of Maiden huntresses interacting with sedentary settlements populated by Matrons, Matriarchs and children. Maidens and Matrons would meld and reproduce, but Maidens would move on before end of pregnancy, and children would be communally raised by Matron couples and rest of settlement. As Maiden father was not involved in childrearing, no motive to involve them legitimately or otherwise. Fatherhood understood as both source of reproductive inspiration and caretaker of children a recent development, historically speaking. Therefore, likely best explanation for belief in father's material contribution to conception also the simplest : wishful thinking — partners both wish that child living physical synthesis of her parents.

Asari otherwise like humans : placental (belly buttons), viviparous (live birth), baby normally delivered after 11 Earth months, or full Thessia year. During gestation and nursing, highly important that mothers obtain and eat aliments and beverages from Thessia, laced with microscopic element zero — children unable to develop properly otherwise.

TRADITIONAL EXPECTATIONS OVER SEXUAL INTIMACY AND RELATIONSHIPS

Despite outward similarity to humans, asari profoundly different — expectations over sex, love and relationships profoundly different as well, complex, at times mystifying even to them.

Most important thing about asari sexual preferences : obligate xenophilia. Intimate, erotic melding between asari cultural taboo, alongside lasting romantic relationships. Asari expected to seek out intimacy and close romantic relationships with non-asari, fostering understanding of radically different experiences.

Asari more comfortable with their sexuality than most humans and many other species — often a cause of prejudice. Two reasons : first, sex, while intimate, not most intimate thing asari can experience — melding is — joining of nervous systems and unity of experience, and also sexual stimuli. Sex pales in comparison — and cannot produce children.

Less cultural "gravity" for sex as a result — no asari concepts of either "recreational sex" (all asari sex recreational by definition) or "chastity" —taboo on erotic melding between asari does not apply to sexual activity, except for relatives. Sex can be done on a whim with whoever just for the sake of it — yet expectations that you will only meld with someone if it's romantic, and that all participants must be aware of identity of regular melding partners.

Second, Maidens - adult asari typically between 40 and 300 years old - actually promiscuous by asari standards — "horny". Adventurous, eager to travel and make new experiences — typically hired for various forms of sex work, mercenary work, spacer jobs — likeliest to be encountered by non-asari like you — likeliest to seek out sexual intimacy with you.

[As Dr. S. makes his presentation, a miniature cartoon asari, seemingly walking on the table, transitions into her Maiden stage : she grows small breasts and a lot of dense wiry muscle. She takes off her jacket and starts whirling it about her head as she dances to some half-muted upbeat tune. She eventually runs offscreen.]

All asari on average, but especially Maidens, therefore likely to offer casual sex with strangers, to have sex with friends, and to use sex as a form of conflict resolution or to diffuse tensions — sex therefore essential in many social interactions, like Earth's Pan paniscus. But great variation depending on culture and individual asari : some asari asexual, antisocial, adverse to physical contact or proximity, self-conscious, or have low self-esteem — inevitably handicaps them during Maiden stage in inter-Maiden interactions — can hinder them when they're older. Nevertheless, asari society largely aware of problem, and most "horny" asari sensitive enough to adapt.

Type of sex and relationship expectations also varies on basis of life stage — whether asari Maiden, Matron or Matriarch.

Typical sex Maidens seek out either casual sex with strangers or sexual intercourse with close friends — "friends with benefits" — furthers intimacy, but no expectations of exclusivity. Will seek out sex only for as long as all parties want to.

[The following two paragraphs are a transcription of a voice-over, as a montage takes up the screen : asari erotic dancers on a break laughing and smoking cigarettes ; a crowd of chanting asari holding placards reading "MY JOB MY RULES" ; a tasteful portrait of the Consort Sha'ira ; a cartoon asari in a purple latex suit with erotic cutouts blasting the head off a hulking monster with a blue flare of biotic power.]

Possible also for Maidens to engage in sex work — either as clients or workers. Sex work among asari completely unstigmatized, though usually (but not exclusively) considered a Maiden activity, like war — yet much like asari can spend entire lives in the military, so can they spend their entire lives doing sex work. Whether asari dance, strip or rent sexual services, either regularly or infrequently to pay the bills, will depend on individual asari, what they are comfortable with, and how much money they need. However, melding for money deeply taboo, with notable cultural exception of Consorts.

Unlike human sex work, asari sex work extremely safe, thanks to self-organization into federated unions, strong labor laws, and biotic ability to blast off head of any would-be offender.

[End montage.]

Young Maidens unlikely to want to be tied up and engage in long, committed relationships — asari lifespan however entails definition of "long, committed relationships" different from most non-asari — decades together only significant if individual asari emotionally invested. Maidens can and will have multiple romantic relationships (including melding) long before they settle in actual permanent relationship with others, especially in latter half of Maiden period — frequent melding will actually accelerate transition to Matron stage.

Ceremonial asari commitment to loving relationship with another known as bond — partners known as bondmates. Asari propose then plan and go through bond ceremony, marked by special bond ceremony dress and bond ceremony bracelet afterward. Polyamory entirely possible — several bondmates — but so is adultery. As asari typically outlive non-asari partners, continue wearing a bracelet for each, even after engaging in new bonds — number of bracelets indicative of number of bondmates throughout lifetime.

[A few stock images are interspersed throughout : a bond ceremony with an asari in a bond ceremony dress holding the hands of a turian in uniform and a krogan also in a bond ceremony dress ; a close-up of several bond ceremony bracelets on a blue wrist — the bracelets' metal looks like copper, and the bands are large enough to have glyphs inscribed down their entire circumference.]

Children raised by bondmates together as long as they're able — greater family involved but typically doesn't live in family home. Great importance placed on asari learning about father's species and culture, encouraged to identify with them — but asari's mother considered "authoritative" parent, not father. Asari sub-adults transition into Maiden stage around 40 years old — become sexually mature. Won't be actual legal adults until age of 50 — usually leave parents' home, start roaming the galaxy or go to university. Maidens still in family home by 60 considered somewhat shameful.

Lifespan differences unfortunately entail that children's father's death before children reach maturity inevitable — sometimes long before children reach maturity if father's species short-lived. Many asari mothers consequently raise children on their own, or with step-fathers — Matrons - asari between 300 and 700 years old - therefore also likely to seek out casual sexual partners, but ultimately probably looking for companions — emotional intimacy, trust, respect — better than raw sex — more conducive to unions.

[As Dr. S. makes his presentation, the same cartoon asari comes back on the table and visibly transitions into the Matron stage : she grows a little taller, her breasts grow larger and her hips grow much wider ; moreover, she builds up fat over her muscles. She takes a table, a chair and a laptop out of hammerspace and immediately sits down to work. Blue asari babies progressively pop up around her ; she takes time off her work to breastfeed them. After a while, she closes her laptop and starts playing with the babies.]

"Union" name of most intimate form of melding asari can engage in — complete connection of nervous systems until each individual experiences the other's feelings, sensations, thoughts — discrete personhood blurs — "two become one". Unions exploration and revelation of each other's identities — almost unimaginable level of intimacy. Sample non-asari interviewees often call experience "transcendental" — asari themselves consider unions fundamental to their species and cultures, how they "learn to grow as a species" and how they develop a greater understanding of others. Belief root of normative obligate xenophilia — asari/asari unions tolerated, but viewed with suspicion by asari at large, as likely to result in daughters from two asari, perhaps greatest cultural taboo in asari society at present.

Asari extremely discriminating about potential union partners — consider "promiscuity" to apply to asari who are careless about who they engage in unions with, not who they have sex with — myths and legends warning against initiating unions with untrustworthy people prevalent in all asari cultures — asari therefore choose union partners with great care. Sex in fact common way for asari to select viable union partners from pool of liaisons.

Attitudes on unions variable, depend on culture and relationship. Sometimes asari engaging in union with sexual partner signal that relationship now involving emotional commitment, possibly joint parenthood commitment. Traditionally, unions initiated only for reproductive purposes — nowadays, most unions recreational — but strongly associated to conception. Many asari consider unthinkable to conceive children with someone they have only rarely, if ever, melded with — conversely, some intimate relationships culminate in a single union to conceive a child, with both parents parting ways afterward.

Unions may or may not have a sexual component — with salarians or other asexual individuals for instance, connection purely mental — "essence" of the "true connection". However, melding of nervous systems means sharing desires, erogenous zones, stimuli — unions therefore often associated to sexual intercourse — known as erotic melding. Some asari philosophers considered erotic melding a distraction from the "true union", the transcendance of selves — argue that orgasms not favorable state of mind for introspection and revelation of the vulnerable parts of the psyche. Parallel asari melding practice of the joining - sharing specific memories with someone who is deeply respected, trusted or loved, irrelevant of sexual or romantic relationship - mitigates pertinence of argument.

Possible "horny" Alliance soldiers may wish to undertake union with asari, consider it ultimate sexual experience ; attitude likeliest to result in unions never being offered — foolhardy, dangerous. Difficult to underemphasize power of unions in relationships : union partner becomes person in the universe who knows you better than anyone, and who you know better than anyone. Introspection also something you may not wish upon yourself. Staggering scale of intimacy often makes possibility of living away from the other difficult, and repellent personalities can be wrested out of social performance and revealed. Not something to enter in lightly.

Engaging in steady relationship with Matrons, regardless of presence or possibility of children, not without its challenges : even in best circumstances, relationship will end in debilitating old age, disease and death — yours. Asari have learned to take philosophical approach to situation — don't focus on the loss of their partners, enjoy the time spent with them — believe that unions allows parts of dead partners to live on in them after demise, that unions foster connection that transcends time and space. Very difficult for non-asari however : some individuals refuse committed relationships with asari on principle ; some rely on denial, and refuse to listen to the "lifespan talk" ; some profess their own philosophical approach only for it to be sorely tested in last shit-stained decades. Often important to seek out professional guidance from counselors — if you need help, seek help !

Relationships with Matriarchs - asari over 700 years old - can also happen, but unlikely : while new romance and a lot of sex still possible, Matriarchs usually shift focus on families, followers, and communities. Sexual urges diminish - infrequent melds actually precipitate biological transition before 700th-birthday benchmark - and youth, while charming in its vitality, often considered tedious because of relative inexperience — and almost anyone who isn't an asari "young". But as with everything here, generalization : exceptions exist, abound.

[As Dr. S. makes his presentation, the same cartoon asari undergoes her transition to the Matriarch stage : her breasts grow noticeably larger, and she also grows taller. She loses some of the fat she had gained during the Matron stage, and becomes noticeably wrinkled. She takes a datapad and starts delivering a half-muted gibberish speech.]

Matrons and Matriarchs much less likely to have sex with other people beside bondmates — intimacy with someone they want to share and spend life with can't be topped — and melding much, much more enjoyable than sex. Nevertheless, open relationships possible, dependent on individual preferences.

Unlike humans, sexual relationships between adult asari from different peer groups completely normal — almost expected. Maidens very "horny" for other asari, especially Matrons and Matriarchs — eager to "show off" to impress them — scientific speculation that Maiden eagerness to travel and seduce older asari actually significant aspect of asari form of reproduction, but asari reluctance to comprehensively study own reproduction equally significant obstacle to further understanding.

Corresponding romantic relationships taboo however — potential for abuse considered high because of vast disparity in life experiences. Any kind of contact after the sexual relationship seen as abnormal —increases chance of relationship devolving into romantic relationship. Strong Maiden exogamous instincts entail asari never meant to see again older asari they're sleeping with.

PLEASURE AND JOY WITH ASARI

Unsurprisingly, asari therefore consider morphological signs of age and experience attractive — smooth transition into discussion of asari beauty and modesty standards, with breasts as case study.

Partial exposure of breasts not associated to sexual arousal — not primarily associated. Change in breast size common sign of hormone-based transition to new "stage" of asari life — larger in Matrons, largest in Matriarchs. Display of mammaries suggestive of related values of motherhood, power, benevolence, vulnerability, confidence, willingness to cooperate, leadership — formal assertion of dominance. Prevalent among theologians, politicians, businessasari, justicars. Total exposure not taboo for same reasons — though currently out of fashion for "lack of subtlety". Not a sign of personal interest in sexual intimacy with random seeing individual. No "come-on".

Secondary association to attraction and recreational sexual activity, nonetheless. Large "racks" universally considered attractive, because of association with age.

Ungloved asari hands also not necessarily a signal of sexual receptiveness : usually a sign that asari routinely engage in manual labor or "hands-on" activity, e.g. agricultural laborers, industrial workers, police officers, etc. However, considered mildly vulgar, class signifier — any kind of formal or ceremonial attire includes partial or total gloves. For instance, patrol C-Sec officers will usually wear a gloveless and shortsleeved uniform, but criminal investigators will wear full gloves at all times while at work, and full dress uniforms for all asari always include gloves. Naturally induces most asari to buy and wear their own gloves.

Beside hands and neck protection, modesty standards highly variable from culture to culture, but practical and tolerant asari mindset ensures that overwhelmingly majority of asari nonjudgemental of clothing (or lack thereof) they would find shocking and offensive if they wore it personally — mixity and hybridity of asari cultures ensure that clothing mostly up to personal preferences and sense of what is comfortable. For instance, exposure of vulva, backside and/or navel sometimes considered improper and indecent, sometimes entirely insignificant. Overall, asari consider the full exposure of the naked body not to be shameful in and of itself, though must be appropriate to circumstances, e.g. public bathing — nudity taboo therefore situational, not categorical as in most human cultures barring outliers.

Other beauty standards include skin that is not dry, a signifier associated both with class and age (Matriarchs and upper-class asari less likely to work outside). Asari eager to make other people think them older than they actually are, in particular that they are or about to be Matriarchs when they've only just entered the Matron stage — sometimes will even use biotics to temporarily shift mass and texture of facial skin when they want to impress or/and look attractive. Finally, asari consider gangly and asymmetrical scalp crests unattractive, whereas firm, proportionate (for a given value of proportionate) and symmetrical scalp crests considered desirable : as scalp crests grow into shape while asari approach Maiden stage, scalp crests associated with maturity, sexuality, adulthood.

Best, therefore, when flirting with asari, not to say they look younger than they really are — insulting — suggestion they look immature and not worth taking seriously — in most extreme cases, may result in head blasted off by vindictive biotic display. Entirely possible you wish to risk dangerously, however. Not one to judge : all "kinks" legitimate. Beside, important to let natural selection run its course.

Unfortunate reality that, though asari driven to understand non-asari, few non-asari truly seek to understand them : common fetishization of asari and especially of asari sexual partners has resulted in abundance of disparaging rumors, misinformation and inaccuracies being "common knowledge". Sexual education also occasion for you, Alliance soldier and representative, to turn back tide of falsehood at your level.

First thing to understand in non-human species : non-verbal communication — body language. As with salarians, easy to understand asari body language : asari strongly empathic thanks to biological predisposition further reinforced by culture, prone to mirror body language of other non-asari when possible — unlike salarians, not reflexive, but partly conscious effort. As both asari and humans primarily communicate through visual and auditory signals, very little lost in non-verbal translation. A few exceptions : as virtually all asari biotics, appearance of blue biotic corona writhing around hands and body - biotic flashing - a threat display, sign of frustration and anger — slightly glowing eyes correlated signal. However, shows of aggression - whether verbal or non-verbal - taboo in some asari cultures, deeply transgressive — perfect example of problem particularly pronounced with asari : difficult to make generalizations about asari cultures and expectations.

For instance, some asari cultures also far less demonstrative than many human cultures : being able to control one's passions and not impose outbursts on others considered mature, altruistic. Usually counterbalanced by clear communication of what asari want or expect - asari more practiced with cultural shock than any other society - without implication or circumspection. Saying what one means and meaning what one says greatly valued by most asari, though never in a way that is aggressive or could be detrimental to the stability and cooperation of a larger group. Greater emotional maturity of multicentenarian asari means that ego far less of an issue in asari groups of equals than in informal groups with, say, humans.

Important to reciprocate : asari usually able to immediately intuit most of what humans trying to dance around in conversations anyway, frustrated by how sensitive some non-asari can be to the truth — by reluctance to be direct and straightforward — by seemingly instinctive shows of ego and ambition and urge to establish individual dominance in group — by apparent inability to think long-term. Important to keep in mind famous asari proverb : at times, saying nothing better than being right. Crude generalization (for instance, virtually all Maidens live in the moment) but deep cultural touchstones nonetheless : rare to meet asari not preoccupied to some extent with stability and long-term, non-violent cooperation of in-group, even if otherwise contradicted by personal beliefs and actions.

For the same reason, asari in a crowd tend to all move at the same pace (with the exception of children), and subconsciously align themselves on asari walking the slowest—out of respect for asari that are very old, very sick, or with impaired motor functions — also because asari, much like elcor, culturally value "presence over progress". Millenium-long natural lifespan also reason not to hurry. Pioneer studies by T'Leia and Amnoss showed that possible to infer on what asari planet one is simply by observing average speed of crowds — Illium asari crowds the fastest, whereas Hyetiana crowds the slowest, followed by Thessia crowds. Therefore, asari not staying by your side when you purposefully slow down and try to get some distance from group of friends for private emotionally-charged conversation not a sign that asari not fond of you — sign that asari is trying to keep up the pace.

Asari sense of personal space more acute and wider than for many human cultures, outside of easy melding distance : best therefore not to get too close to asari unless and until they close the distance themselves, as otherwise might startle asari. As in humans, casual touching sign of growing emotional intimacy, though far more significant than in most human cultures. Moreover, do not try to shake hands or high-five asari : hand-on-hand contact associated with melding, sudden arm movement associated with biotic attacks. Asari typically formally greet each other from a distance by crossing arms together and bowing slightly — briefly placing fingertips of right hand over forehead casual greeting. First meetings of Alliance diplomats with asari mediators from Citadel immediately after armistice of human First Contact War were… awkward. May have helped convince Citadel Council of humanity's peaceful intentions, however. Also may have contributed to humanity's broader reputation as "perverts".

Finally, do not try to have sex with asari under age of 50, even if older than you — statutory rape — asari biological development different from humans', much slower — though biologically an adult around 40 years old, legal adulthood in Asari Republics and other asari-dominated states around 50 Earth years old. Citadel courts unlikely to accept defense either that you "assumed" non-human victim had same age of consent as yours or that you didn't think to ask her age — if you live. All asari biotics, and very well aware, thanks to exhaustive education, of personal sexual rights even at a young age.

Like humans, asari often engage in sexual activities out of sight on adequate furniture and where they sleep — however, asari do not sleep in beds but in nest-like basins filled with cushions called pods. Many versions available, from the antique to the cutting-edge ("pleasure pod"). Some other asari cultures instead sleep in nests : circular depressions in bedroom floor filled with cushions. Unlike many humans, adult asari more readily sleep with other asari they're not romantically or sexually involved with, usually relatives or friends — as previously stated, nudity not inherently erotic. Pods and nests accordingly very large — studies attest that very comfortable for sex between two to four people. In situations where asari cannot or won’t afford pods or nests, settle for beds, possibly cots — not as comfortable, and narrower.

If engaged in consensual erotic activity with adult asari, keep in mind key question : are you about to have sex, or are you about to meld together ? Fortunately, asari sexual partner extremely likely to be specific and ask consent — and profoundly unlikely to initiate melding if occasion first naked time together. A few clues suggest melding : utterance of culturally significant phrase "Embrace eternity" or longer mantra — or most spectacularly, eyes turning entirely black — black pupil, grey-black iris, black sclera. Not sign of disease — activation of ocular chromatophores key visual signal that asari ready to engage in melding process.

If asari ready to meld without your permission, run — sign that asari doesn't care about your safety. Asari physically more powerful than you, biotic, and can exert conscious control over your nervous system once connected to her own through melding — if has no desire not to hurt you, you will be defenseless. Situation beyond improbable — such actions profoundly taboo among all asari, and prosecuted with uncharacteristic severity — but improbability not impossibility.

Less dire, and more frequent : biotic neural itching. Unique form of asari sexually-transmitted disease — neurological — creates randomly flaring phantom sensations in different parts of the body, itching, stinging, tingling, prickling, which cannot be assuaged because spontaneously generated by brain. Highly annoying — considered shameful among asari, even more shameful to be contagion vector. Can be transmitted to anyone who melds with afflicted asari, and can and must be treated. Otherwise will keep itching forever.

Beside discerning whether you are engaging in meldless sex or sexual melding, and ascertaining related indication of emotional proximity and cultural significance, both activities share same concern : mutual gratifying stimulation of erogenous zones. Key difference between asari and humans, despite broadly similar morphology : asari have scales. Though much finer on average than those of other scaled species like krogan or drell, important to keep in mind that thicker skin relative to yours requires slightly stronger touch to elicit broadly similar sensation. However, scale thickness highly variable : thinnest around eyes, eyelids, nose, lips, insides of outer ears, neck folds, undersides of breasts, nipples, palms of hands, azure, and outer vulva. Easier to see on blue-skinned asari : slight purplish cast because of purple asari blood running below. As in humans, vulva swells up when excited, turns visibly purple (or purpler, if asari already purple-skinned) with dilation of arterioles. Tongue highly sensitive too - lacks scales - hence development of "kissing" as in many other species.

Important to consider for an instant neck folds and scalp crests : both kinds of structure participate in asari thermoregulation, can be surprisingly cold or hot depending on environment and health — often surprising for non-asari sexual partners. Neck folds extremely sensitive and require very delicate stimulation, if at all — similar to most sensitive types of human clitores. Scalp crests, while also sensitive, not so delicate, though only semi-flexible : twisting or bending them out of shape painful, much like twisting and bending humans' own cartilage-based anatomical structures, like ear funnels — scalp crests do not move or flop around — "hair tentacles" misleading and insulting descriptor, and deeply anthropocentric.

Out of all nine scalp crests, three inner scalp crests - bending down alongside curve of skull - least flexible, erogenous and sensitive — asari often deeply repulsed by notion of "fiddling" them — though as always, exceptions do exist. Six outer scalp crests, which curve backwards then up, more likely to be stimulated to induce erotic sensation — more sensitive where join with thinner skin of face, along central ridges, edges and undersides, and especially at tips. All nine crest tips particularly sensitive — suggest experimenting with sucking, nibbling, kissing, gentle stroking and pinching.

Various kinds of penetrative activities - whether fingers, intromittent organ, or something else - possible depending on individual asari preferences, though best to engage in mutual stimulation : ubiquitous marenala symbol for love - asari equivalent to human heart shape - metaphorically suggestive of two astronomical bodies circling each other without colliding — actually represents standard asari sexual pose, similar to what some human cultures call "69". Penetration of birth canal possible and pleasurable for both participants if done well, but necessary to apply a lot of lubricant beforehand in addition to sexscreen : unlike human vaginas, which often require artificial lubricant as well, asari birth canals do not self-lubricate when aroused.

However, asari typically repulsed by notion of anal stimulation and penetration — considered abnormal, repellent kink in asari and non-asari. Cultural equivalent to nostril penetration kink among humans.

Unlike humans, but much like Earth birds, asari do not pee — all body waste evacuated anally — strict difference in function between vulva and anus, reducing overall likelihood of infections when compared with species with urogenital organs and/or orifices. Longstanding symbolic, dichotomous opposition between vulva - lower orifice exclusively used for sexual stimulation and childbirth - and anus - lower orifice exclusively used for excretion of waste products - as a result. Vulva associated to love, life, sex, pleasure. Anus associated to fecal matter, filth, disease.

Yet hypothetical viewer might think, "Sexual arousal synonymous with lowering of disgust threshold, and asari famous for seeking experiences of otherness from non-asari !" Objection factual, and possible for asari to derive erotic enjoyment from stimulation of anus : sphincters densely packed with nerve ends — always sensitive areas, regardless of species, because of function.

But — little to no incentive for asari to try to overcome ingrained disgust response. No major erogenous organ in anal tract as with male humans — no reason to wish for penetration. No intromittent sexual organ in asari — penetration not associated with sexual behavior. No risk of accidental pregnancy associated to vulva stimulation — no alternatives required. But risk of pain without lubricant.

Instances of anal stimulation and penetration typically occurring during melding, as asari share desires and pleasure of non-asari partner — but bilateral connection also makes non-asari partners experience asari's disgust and fear of infection and pain — non-asari inclined to engage in such practices therefore far less likely on average to do so during melding than during standard reciprocal sexual stimulation with non-asari partners, as shown in several studies.

Common male human fixation on anal penetration often named among reasons for noted asari reticence to engage in sexual relationships with male humans, alongside other behaviors typical of humans socialized as men from birth.

Asari often use biotics to heighten sexual experiences — typically to decrease mass of self or partner to assume positions otherwise difficult to sustain over an extended time period. Simulation of sex in zero gravity or use of multiple sex toys without hands also possible. Specifics depend on biotic talent and skill of individual asari, as well as personal inclinations — several biotic powers frequently used in BDSM scenarios, like Stasis, Lift, Pull… Ask asari what they are comfortable with and cross-reference with own curiosity and known preferences.

Finally, beware of taking asari to your room : asari able to see in ultraviolet frequencies, stains invisible to your human eyes will be flagrant for asari — unlikely they will agree to lie in your bed if haven't cleaned up beforehand. Possible they will not even agree to enter your room after glancing inside. Odds of successful sexual encounter highly unlikely at this point. Difficult to clean up and erase what you cannot see : best to hire asari, salarian, hanar or quarian cleaning service.

Alternatively, rent room in asari-managed hotel.

[A link at the bottom of the video reveals that Dr. S. has no financial, familial or otherwise personal interests tied to the development, prosperity and profits of any specific cleaning or hospitality businesses on the Citadel or elsewhere.]

Best not to ask what is human hygienic reputation among asari… or salarians.

OOC End Notes : The paradox of the asari is that they have always been maligned and ill-represented by BioWare, but if you know where to look there is a ton to say, especially if you look into the secondary canon or the implications of Liara's ME1 dialogue. Much of what you've read may seem like my own inventions to you, but you may be surprised to learn they have canonical precedent.

Moreover, the asari have always inspired a lot of people, especially on this website ; I suppose the wasted potential of a species of space non-binary lesbians outside of patriarchy was too tantalizing to resist. I have been among these people : asari were my first lore love. But I never was part of the earlier, original party of fans and headcanoners who were so enamored with the possibility of asari that they kept coming up with infinitely inventive and thoughtful headcanons, one after another. There are a few of them left here, though many of them have moved on to other fandoms (or professional writing careers), and I fear that, nearly fifteen years after ME3 came out, too few among those who are now active here in our little bubble of fandom have heard about them. I certainly don't know about them all : I joined the fandom too late. But I absorbed many of their headcanons through osmosis, because they were brilliant, and I have tried to acknowledge them as theirs here. Fatally, I must have forgotten to credit quite a few of these, and for this I must apologize and plead exhaustion, forgetfulness, poor time management, and haste.

Anyway, all of that to say, if you like what you've read it, the people you should often be grateful for are @theivorytowercrumbles, @dr-jekyl, @stealthydentist, and many others who I've never known.

The unfortunate consequences of bringing your date home when they can see UV radiation, however, are unsurprisingly my own idea, among others.

stealthydentist

In Part 2 : Chapter 2 : Asari, regarding this line: "Indeed, asari unable to reproduce without a melding partner."

Erinya, the Baria Frontiers star charts merchant on Illium, says this: "We hardly need your alien DNA to randomize genetic material. A little radiation would work just as well.”

This could mean that asari can use "a little radiation" to self-conceive, or it just helps the randomization process along when conceiving with a melding partner. I don't see how it would work with the second option, so I lean towards the first.

#mass effect #asari #loved that last chapter it was a great mixture of headcanons and a great reiteration of canon and common speculations

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