Never Knowingly Be Serious

Alison Brie (SilverCity RP) Taken | No Kids Spooning Level: Expert In a relationship with the world's cutest fucker. Jay Baruchel is literally my favorite person in the existence of people. That charming, handsome, smug, stoner-esque little angel. I love his stupid Canadian face so much. So much. It physically pains me.

[ourratsarelow]

You Shine Brightly in My Sky. With Me While the Nights Go By. And if you needed a reason to have Guinness today - or three. 🇮🇪

[breathtakingwomen]

Alison Brie at the Yahoo’s Community Greendale School Dance at SXSW, Austin (2015)

[mistermapleleaf]

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

If Alison’s foot could’ve tapped a hole through to the centre of the earth, it certainly would’ve. She stood there for what seemed like an eternity, resisting the urge to scream bloody murder at Jay with every moment that passed. He’d suggested that she start the car but she didn’t want to squeeze into the driver’s seat and then back out to move to the other seat. Finally he came out the door, his face even paler than hers. “Holy shit, numbnuts. Are you actually trying to make this baby hate you before it’s even born?” She grabbed his arm and held on for dear life as he walked her to the car, got in and started driving them to Cedars-Sinai.

[mistermapleleaf]

Jay decided that today pedestrians were not enough of a reason to swerve out of the way. Two crushed mailboxes and a dog-walker who had been “just quick enough” later, they arrived at the hospital.

Jay was death gripping his the wherl with his fixed straight ahead when she flicked his face a few times, “ help me out of the car you lanky canuck, you need to park it while i go inside and don’t forget my suitcase.”

Jay sprang into action and did as he was told. Instructions were good, they got him from point a to point b without thinking too hard about what he was doing. He met ali inside just as she was being lead down the hall in a wheelchair. He showed her her briefcase with a stupid looking smile on his face.

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Ali often yelled at Jay, to be sure, but she always did it with a smile behind her eyes. He got her sense of humour, it was one of the reasons she adored him so much. But now, in this place, with a baby about to rip itself from her stomach, she literally wanted to murder every last inch of him.

"Jayyyyyyy." She screeched right into the cup of his ear. "You are gonna owe me so freaken big after this." Ali was keeping it classy...no f-bombs at the hospital. The nurse glanced at them both as if she'd heard it all before and continued to wheel her into the delivery room. "You comin'?" She paused for a second for Jay to make up his mind.

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Your baby is going to be a bastard then?

Fucking rights she is!

[mistermapleleaf]

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

If Alison’s foot could’ve tapped a hole through to the centre of the earth, it certainly would’ve. She stood there for what seemed like an eternity, resisting the urge to scream bloody murder at Jay with every moment that passed. He'd suggested that she start the car but she didn't want to squeeze into the driver's seat and then back out to move to the other seat. Finally he came out the door, his face even paler than hers. “Holy shit, numbnuts. Are you actually trying to make this baby hate you before it’s even born?” She grabbed his arm and held on for dear life as he walked her to the car, got in and started driving them to Cedars-Sinai.

[katherinehoughtonnbeckett]

[text]: Hey Luce, it's Ali - long time no see! I'm like eleventy months preggers and bored out of my mind just sitting at home. Want to go shopping and catch up sometime?

[text]: Hey Ali - it sure has been a while!  It’s so great to hear from you.  And Congratulations, aw - I hope you’re keeping well, and the baby too.  As for shopping and catching up sometime, I’d love to actually.  Sounds great :D

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

[text]: Yay, all is well here! I'm due any day now, so let me know when you're free in the next few weeks and we'll make a day of it. Can't wait to hear about everything going on with you. xx

[mistermapleleaf]

"ITS HAPPENING!" Ali was screaming from across their home. His first thought was, "firefly? Are they bringing it back?!" Shortly after reality began to set in. He pulled he gas mask off his face letting a cloud of smoke poor out from all sides. "Uhhhh, oh god, oh god, oh god" jay bolted, slipping on rugs, banging into tables, and never failing to knock into a wall between himself and the tiny ball breaking baby mama of his heart. Bruised, stoned, and awkward he entered their bathroom. She stood atop his freshly cleaned habs jersey. Water broken, and holding her baby bump. "HOSPITAL NOW!"

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

"Hurry it up, you fucking stoner before this baby eats through my stomach like Alien!!" There was no depths to Alison’s irritation when she was in pain. Even when she stubbed her toe she would pinch Jay in the arm or step on his foot just so he would know how she felt. But this, well Jay would be lucky if he survived the night with his eardrums and limbs intact. "Seriously you should hurry the fuck up. Cause next I’m using your irreplaceable Guy Lafleur signed jersey to bring this little monster that you’ve hideously put inside me into the world."

She threw her iPhone at him and told him to text the doctor as he brought her some pajama pants and led her to the door.

[sylviagetyourheadouttheoven]

Alison Brie - W Magazine - March 2015

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Oh you little rebel. I like you. And since we’re now clearly all manner of soul mates, I feel like we should celebrate with bourbon! But since I can’t drink right now, wanna meet up at Millions of Milkshakes and gossip over a Virgin Colada? Also if anyone ever tells you that…

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Ugh, Chels…you are so the wonderwench of my (wee-blackened) heart! Fine, fine but you’ll at least let me smell your delicious boozy breath right? I mean, give a girl a break.

[keiraxknightley]

I mean if you wanna say make out or something once I’ve had a drink or four I’m totally game. Just as long as I can touch your tits during.

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Tsk, you're such a fucking tease. Though, I must admit, my girls are pretty fucking epic right now.

       Take out, make out and home by Conan; it's how I roll, baby.

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Thanks sug, I actually really needed some of this right now.

Love ya.

Love ya, right the hell back! And I’m well aware that it’s a cliche to say that you deserve better, but seriously-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-that-asshole? I know that you have the sweetest/mushiest heart...

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Seriously, what you deserve is (a helluva lot better than that and) a pint of Cold Stone and a fresh bottle of Jameson…both of which I just happen to have sitting around the house making eyes at me, hard. Wanna scoot over to mine and hang? We can watch random eps of Freaks and Undeclared - and have a good laugh at Jay vs James. I'm due in about a month but I'm already ready to pop like Pillsbury.

[mistermapleleaf]

[text] Yo hoser. Incase you're wondering, I borrowed all of your credit cards and tossed your bottle of emergency booze down the toilet. You know better than to keep things from me. Now I need to go shop for baby tiaras just to make myself feel better. [text] Also love you. [text] Kinda.

This is why i keep my emergency weed in a lockbox at the bank, its foolproof… I think. Is that legal? I’d love not to be deported twice in one decade.

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

[text]: Doofus, I said I love you. I'm not replying to the rest of it until I get an appropriate and worshipping reply back.

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Ali quickly texted Nic her address and waited by the door. She wanted to sit down, but honestly at eight months pregnant it was getting harder and harder to stand up after giving in to the lazy boy chair that her boyfriend Jay loved so much. She was thrilled when she saw the car...

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Ali’s face lit up at the wee smiles coming from the back seat as she made little waving motions at the kids with her hands. “Aww, they’re so cute. I can’t wait until we get there so I can give Melinda and Esme’s cheeks a soft squeeze!” She turned back towards the road as they started driving so that she could give out directions as they got closer to the milkshake shop. She was wondering how amazing Nic must be to pull all of this off by herself, but she decided it best to wait until they’d chatted a while longer before asking her about it. "I’m uhhhh….due in about 4 weeks." She rubbed her belly and groaned slightly. "And I can not wait to see what this little guy looks like. I tease his Dad all the time, but in reality if he reminds me of Jay, he’ll have me extra wrapped around his wee finger." Chucking. "Oh, right up there." She pointed to a spot. "We can walk the rest of the way, it’s only about half a block.

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

DO NOT READ THIS POST...

Oh you little rebel. I like you. And since we’re now clearly all manner of soul mates, I feel like we should celebrate with bourbon! But since I can’t drink right now, wanna meet up at Millions of Milkshakes and gossip over a Virgin Colada? Also if anyone ever tells you that being preggers is beautiful, slap them…hard, for me.

[mistermapleleaf]

I fucking love you. That is all.

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

I miss that happy friend that I had You’ve been acting so sad Won’t you come back? yeah yeah

[missmultifarious]

Thanks sug, I actually really needed some of this right now.

Love ya.

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Love ya, right the hell back! And I'm well aware that it's a cliche to say that you deserve better, but seriously-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-that-asshole? I know that you have the sweetest/mushiest heart and always try to find the best in people, but sadly, sometimes there's nothing to find - and when it gets to the point where this person is actually fucking with your head...well then I think it's time that your friends have a little intervention. I know I'm like all of 5'2, but I think I could take him.

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

I miss that happy friend that I had You’ve been acting so sad Won’t you come back? yeah yeah

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Millions of Milkshakes...Oh My - Nic || Ali

Ali quickly texted Nic her address and waited by the door. She wanted to sit down, but honestly at eight months pregnant it was getting harder and harder to stand up after giving in to the lazy boy chair that her boyfriend Jay loved so much. She was thrilled when she saw the car pull up, and moving as fast as her legs could carry her, she made her way outside, giving her new friend a wave and gratefully popping down into the driver’s side of the car. “Hey, right on time!” She turned around and said hello to the kids in the backseat. “Do you know where Millions of Milkshakes is? And don’t judge me too harshly but I may have to get two, I’m starvin’ like Marvin!”

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Oh you little rebel. I like you. And since we’re now clearly all manner of soul mates, I feel like we should celebrate with bourbon! But since I can’t drink right now, wanna meet up at Millions of Milkshakes and gossip over a Virgin Colada? Also if anyone ever tells you that...

[rawralisaurus-blog-blog]

Ugh, Chels...you are so the wonderwench of my (wee-blackened) heart! Fine, fine but you'll at least let me smell your delicious boozy breath right? I mean, give a girl a break.