Post love eater one shot that I wrote for my Lukanette babies
“Yeah, I’m fine…. Actually… No, I’m not fine at all…I’m so tired Luka. Of all these responsibilities and having to put up a front all the time and never being able to be who I truly am.”
“It’s alright Marinette, you can tell me everything, or nothing if you prefer it. You can be yourself with me you know.”
The most important lesson Luka’s mom had taught him, along with looking both ways before he crossed the street and how to play the guitar was to never pull away from a hug first. She was a firm believer that there were not enough hugs passed around in the world and She told him that he would meet some people in his life who needed a hug more than anything and that when they needed a hug, he should hug them until they were ready to let go.
Luka had never had an encounter where someone needed a hug until today. He had never understood the value of his mom’s little anecdote until today.
His bike fell with a clatter to the floor, spilling the pizzas, his tips and his guitar. He didn’t care. He could break every guitar he touched for the rest of his life if it meant the girl in his arms would be okay.
He could feel his shirt becoming soaked with her tears; he could feel her trembling against his chest; he could feel her fingers curling up fistfuls of his sweater so that she could be closer. And so he held her all the tighter.
After a few more minutes, her breathing had calmed down and she let go. Her eyes were dewy blue and her cheeks were rosy and stained with eyeliner. “I want to go home.” She mumbled staring down at the ground.
“Hop on.” He gathered his things and placed them lazily into the front of his bike. She climbed onto the back, holding on tight as he took off. He pedalled leisurely, but to her, they were going too fast, she didn’t want it to end, she wanted to hold on to him forever until he had pedalled outside of Paris, away from chat noir, away from Adrien, away from hawkmoth, Kagami, Alya, fu.
“Here we are.” He dismounted the bike and helped her off. He watched as she shuffled lamely towards her door. She could feel another cry on her lips. She wasn’t about to do this again. No Marinette, just go inside and leave him alone. Came ladybug’s voice. You can be yourself with me you know. Came Luka’s voice.
“Luka,” She stared into his eyes. They were blue and filled with the utmost care. “Could you maybe come inside.” It was a cry for help. I never ask for help. Came ladybug’s voice.
“Of course.” Luka took off his helmet and propped his bike against the door, He took his guitar, but that was it.
“I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink, but now I’m insecure and I care what people think.” He cut off the last chord with the palm of his hand, tossing up the pic and catching it in his other hand.
“Ummm.” Marinette contemplated. “8 out of ten. show off,” she added
“Wow relating to all the classic emo anthems are we.” He felt like he could tease a little bit now that she had calmed down.
“I feel like you’re running a study on me.” She crossed her arms playfully.
“This is important information,” He shot a playful glare her way while preparing the next song
They were playing musical mood reading, a game that Juleka and Luka had invented when they were seven and nine years old, one party had to play and instrument and sing lyrics until they got a good read on how the other party was feeling depending on how much they related to the lyrics.
“They taped over your mouth, Scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies.” He strummed in a manner that Marinette interpreted as angry.
“5, too aggressive.” Marinette held up five fingers.
“Crushcrushcrush is an angry song, what can I say?” Luka grinned, prepping the starting chord for the next song.
“Na na na na na,” He chorused in a pitch that was far too high for him “Don’t let me let you down!” He strummed four times and belted out “Hey baby I’m not… your superhuman, and if that’s what you want I hate to let you dooooowwwwwn.”
“6 Luka, that’s too happy.” She giggled
“Okay…” he crossed his legs and sunk to the floor “I can tap into the sad repertoire.”
He slowly began to pluck two chords over and over and hummed softly before he sang out the first few lines, “pretend we met by chance, dealt the ace back to me so I played it, feeling the odds were for once on my side what a lie. No I’m not where I thought I would be and I’m naked, love is my labour of life, love is my labour of life.
“Nine,” Marinette whispered, just as soon as laugher had left, she felt tears in her eyes again.
“Play another sad song please.” She folded her hands into her lap and tilted her head in a way that made her face look somewhat angelic.
He felt sadistic, choosing sad songs to play for this girl who was already so heartbroken. She was asking for it all the same and he wanted to give her all that he could after the day that she seemed to have had. “This one is one of my favourite sad songs, I’m going to start on verse two though, I think it’s more effective in terms of the game.” He explained
Marinette nodded, curling her legs into a ball on the couch as he clipped the capo onto the second fret, playing a little lead-in. “You probably know it already, it’s umm, a famous nineties song.” He bit his lip nervously. “Iris… by the Goo-Goo Dolls”
Marinette’s smile encouraged him to keep playing, so he turned his attention to his fingers and didn’t watch her face as he lost himself in the music.
“And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive
And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And I don’t want the world to see me
'Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am”
“Luka,” Marinette’s voice cracked, breaking him out of his music and back into the world, he hadn’t even noticed her crying.
“Oh God, Marinette,” He set down his guitar as she slid off the couch and curled up next to him. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry,” She leaned into him for the second time that day as her head spun with the weight of a secret on the verge of her tongue. His sympathy was all that she needed right now. She could die in his arms for all she cared. She felt safe here, for the first time since she had been given the earrings. “I haven’t been honest with anyone and I think it’s eating me up inside.” She struggled to stifle another sob. While he grazed a hand over her shaking back.
“I don’t want to pry something out of you, and you certainly don’t have to tell me, but I think that if something is eating you, you should tell someone you trust.”
She nodded into his chest, willing herself to take deep breaths. This could get her into trouble, but she was so angry at everything right now. She was tired of hiding.
“I’m l-mph,” She mumbled into his sweater.
I just want you to know who I am
It barely escaped her lips but it was out. He caught it this time.
She felt something in her heart shift, like a pile of Jenga blocks had come tumbling down and now she was free, no longer hanging on by the skin of her teeth to something that was bound to topple over.
The fall from grace was gloriously peaceful.
He didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for him to say anything. All he did was holder her a little bit tighter.
And he wouldn’t let her go until she was ready.
