【❛☾ dull heart light up with joy.

ℜubellie l ew old l no gender ay l rockin beach city !!! indie sustuck. lit.

[rcbellite-blog]

karkxt:

 ‘ THERE’S NOTHING ELSE TO SAY ON THIS. FINE, WE’RE BOTH FUCKING FREAKS. BIG GOD DAMN DEAL. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. DO YOU SEE EITHER OF US DOING ANYTHING BESIDES HAVING A PISSING MATCH? NO. AT LEAST YOU HAVE A FAMILY. PEOPLE TO GO TO. YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE? A DECOMMISSION BIN. THERE’S A REASON THEY ONLY KEEP ONE OBSIDIAN UNIT AT A TIME. YOU KNOW WHY? IT’S BECAUSE THEY CAN’T STOMACH KEEPING ANY MORE OF ME AROUND OR ELSE SOMETHING HORRIBLE MIGHT HAPPEN. LIKE FALLING IN LOVE WITH THEIR MISSION AND BETRAYING THEM TO KEEP THEM SAFE. ’    And there it was. Admittance that caused his eyes to widen, silencing him for the time being. What was he doing? Yelling at her because he didn’t know what to do? How pathetic… ‘…That’s…all there is to this…’

“You’re not alone. That’s the point.”

What was the point? it was hard to find one now ; she wanted to make this right. Without hurting anyone. It was much, much harder said than done.

Like falling in love with their mission and betraying them to keep them safe.

The words repeated over and over in her mind. How could they not? she was so mad, so mad at herself! this was all her fault.. she should’ve listened to her team. To stay away. To leave the other alone. She couldn’t have things end, she didn’t want them to. Not like this, not when she’d fucked up everything.

She knew what she should do. She should walk away. Let this be a goodbye, they could both go on like nothing happened. Start her suffering so his could end...

She stood up straight, adjusting her shirt as to fix it. Clearing her throat and wiping the water from her eyes. Blank face replacing the one that had shown so much hurt and loss. “I wish you luck as to where ever you find yourself on your next mission. It has been a pain knowing you, farewell Obsidian.”

Please don’t go, please don’t go, I love you so, I love you so.

[rcbellite-blog]

speakingbeforan:

私はしばらくの間、グリーターを行うことを忘れてしまった場合、それは可能性がどのように悪い自分自身に尋ねました。 この。 これは、それは可能性がどのように悪いです。 新しい失望のあなたの非常に大規模なバッチ。 万歳。

まあねえ!はい、私はあなたが何を意味知っています。めっちゃすごい迫力を取得します時々 omg。

私は複雑怪奇、はいに会えてうれしい!

[rcbellite-blog]

nursary:

can you die from lack of affection

[rcbellite-blog]

karkxt:

 ‘WE ARE NOT THE SAME! YOU HAVE SOMETHING, YOU HAVE A FUTURE. YOU HAVE A LIFE. YOU WEREN’T MADE TO BE A FAILURE! WE WILL NEVER BE ALIKE! HOW CAN YOU SAY NO ONE WANTS YOU, WHEN IT’S OBVIOUS THAT EVERYONE DOES! YOUR STEVEN DOES, YOUR COMPANIONS DO.          I…DO.‘   He snapped back at her. Tears now streaming down his face but evaporating before they slid off his cheek, his fire had returned but…not in the best of ways. Looking at the gem, you could see steam radiating off of him, a spark or two flying off of him during his outburst as well.   ‘ THERE IS NO COLD IN ME. THERE IS NONE OF THAT. THERE’S NOTHING BUT A DESTRUCTIVE HEAT THAT WILL EVENTUALLY MELT EVERYTHING I KNOW AWAY, INCLUDING MYSELF.’ 

“You just don’t get it do you? Stop, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS ALIVE, assuming things! you wanna know why you’ve never seen a rubellie in homeworld? it’s because I’m a kindergarten gem! I’M LITERALLY PROTECTING THE THING THAT WAS BEING DESTROYED TO MAKE ME - EVERYDAY I HEAR ABOUT  HOW HORRIBLE THAT PLACE WAS, HOW NOTHING GOOD CAME FROM IT- no one wants me, Obsidian. A rare gem or not, I’m not made RIGHT. Topaz and Emerald didn’t even LIKE me! they wanted to LEAVE me there had it not been for Jane! the only one who’s never judged me is John, and I’m pretty sure that’s because Jane is part of him!  You don’t know me, don’t fucking pretend you do.” “ You’re right, I wasn’t made to be a failure. I was made to destroy, to work,  and to fight for something I could never believe in had I not been given a choice. But you know what.. at least I took the DECENT option.. unlike some of us, who when presented with a way out, are too scared to take it.” She wasn’t scared of him, she could fight him and win if she needed - but she didn’t want to. She hurt because she was hurting him. “... and for the record, had you bothered to open your eyes and notice, your heat has never once bothered me. But it’s whatever, right?”

[rcbellite-blog]

karkxt:

Had he? Had he really? The simple answer to that was, no, no he didn’t. But he sure as hell wouldn’t have admitted it that easily. The only thing he knew for sure right now was that he wanted, no…he needed to protect her. Keep those Homeworld bastards away from her as long as he could. Maybe then he could be considered useful.   Stopping in place, the gem clenched his fists as he felt the icy pain flow through him, that was supposed to be goodbye, why is she doing this? She has to know he’s doing this to keep her safe, he’d only bring trouble.  Turning back to face her, tears forming in his tired and anxiety filled eyes.   ‘ …That’s usually what people are supposed to say when they don’t know what else to do.’ 

“Look at us, Obsidian. We’re both... we’re MISTAKES.” She was crying, sure, but she had no control over it. She’d never shown this side to him. Always happy, worrying over him.. god, did he even know she was from the kindergarten? stopping what had started her? How could she have such a connection with someone she hardly knew.

“We’re failures, we’re broken, no one WANTS us, we’re just.. there! no matter how hard we try, it doesn’t work, does it? every word we utter leaves poison in the air, each step we take is a crack in the wrong direction, what we touch shatters and no matter how hard we try.. we’ll always feel cold. Something will always be missing,” oh how obvious it was that she had been more mad at herself than him. Hands balling into fist at her side, crescent nail marks denting into her skin - shouting as the words went on.

[rp-meme]

Send me ' ~♫' For my muse to sing to yours, with random lyrics from a song the mun heard recently.

[rcbellite-blog]

ill be on ghostytherapist 

[rcbellite-blog]

boyfriend: gets into a fight me: draws him a picture of jake english friend: are you rewarding his sins do you not understand what he did me: thats a good question honestly 

[aylanico-deactivated20170822]

[rcbellite-blog]

call-me-douchebag:

nitro-nova:

“Hey can I use your computer?”

sure, one second

don’t you fucking post gore on my dash

[rcbellite-blog]

[rcbellite-blog]

rcbellite:

                       ❛☾ –LITTLE HATERS, BIG DREAMS,               I DON’T CARE WHAT’CHA THINK ABOUT ME.

                                                   art                    indie sustuck roxy.

[rcbellite-blog]

karkxt:

 ‘ I understand.’   And with that the gem was already on his way. No goodbye hug or kiss, just an odd feeling in his core that seemed to be radiating outwardly. Pain, this is what pain felt like. Like a lit candle already melted, Obsidian’s fire had gone out just then, as he solemnly walked in a direction, any direction. It just had to be away from here. He wouldn’t go back to the ship, no. He’d leave Beach City. And walk as far as he could. Maybe that way he’d keep Homeworld off of them for a while. Off of her..

Oh, oh man, that - this hurt. It was like being kicked in the stomach, and then your ribs being broken. Or some other thing that the humans had that hurt when being broken.  

She didn’t want this to be over. This feeling. Things were so up and down right now. She’d only ever thought that he hated her. Even if allowing her to cuddling with him and hang around sometimes.. new emotions. So many new emotions she was feeling dizzy. 

She’d done enough. Brought hope and then wreaked it. Filling herself with a now voided spot - cold, where the warmth had seeped away. But, she wasn’t done. Not yet. This wouldn’t be the last time she saw him. She wouldn’t let him walk away with nothing.

Being quiet for so long, she had worked herself up. Guilt riden and pain in her core. She began marching after him, never minding the now tear stained cheeks that she had acquired while over thinking. “Do you really?” 

[descoles-moved]

[rcbellite-blog]

karkxt:

  ‘ We can’t. I know…’  Those few minutes of lying to himself were nice, pretending everything would be ok. Homeworld has him tagged, no gem gets away without being found eventually, especially when his team was so close by. Protection meant sacrifice as well. So he knew it’d come to this, but…so soon though?  ‘ We’re irrelevant.’ 

Wow, nice going, you screw up. Nothing good could ever last before she destroyed it, could it?

“Oh, oh my goodness,” she wanted to cry. She’d been so foolish. To think for a moment that this would work, that there was a chance something could go right and prove that her life wasn’t some mistake. Prove that the trouble Jane had gone through to save her wasn’t a mistake. Prove that she could do something worth while for once.. Prove she was like the other gems.  Chance wasted. Look at her, a child, pretending she could achieve a higher love and not mess it up the moment it started.

    “... we’re not even us. It’s me, and it’s you. There isn’t - oh my god, there’s nothing. This isn’t- this can’t work, I want it to. I want to try, but I can’t do so without putting those I love - John, my team, in danger. Obsidian.. I, fuck, I’m sorry.”

[beatbet-blog]

@people who are 6 ft+

[rcbellite-blog]

beatbet:

get fucked.

[rcbellite-blog]

karkxt:

 Off books?..Right…  He’s still the enemy. No one could know about this or there would be consequences. But that’s stupid why should they have to…he didn’t want to hurt them, in fact he’d do much more, he’d protect them if it came down to it. It was true when they said Obsidian units were unreliable, but perhaps that was only from the Homeworld viewpoint.   ‘ I…if you want it to be. ‘

“I only meant.. Obsidian, there’s nothing to even put on the books, if we’re continuing with that metaphor..” She pulled away, just to seek eye contact with him.Truth be told her team could learn. They’d adapted to her, why couldn’t they do the same for him? John would help too! ... but it was about homeworld that worried her. She could end up putting everyone else in so much danger. Even if Obsidians were so easy to come by - surly someone had noticed that this one wasn’t like the others. Wasn’t a failure.

“We kissed, and I think - I think I... have very strong feelings for you, but, we’re not.. I don’t know what we are!”

[rcbellite-blog]

karkxt:

Peridot would have his head for this, and Jasper…he didn’t want to think about it. Leaning against her touch, the gem would yawn softly. An odd occurrence for gemkind seeing as how yawning served no purpose whatsoever, but he had been around Rube for so long now that her habits were beginning to rub off on him.  

  ‘ What a coincidence, you were the gem that did it too. Guess you’ve done a lot for me huh? ‘    Too forward?

“Mhm,” she chuckled.

For more than one reason. Hearing him yawn was a first, and gem’s didn’t get tired - had she been around him so much that her habits were rubbing off on him? that’d be ironic. “I was only following orders.. although  I guess this(us) stuff is kinda off books, yeah?” And there it was. The feeling like she was walking around glass with her statements.