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@rcmvsj
β
πππππ ππππ πππππ β 23 years old, shop assistantΒ at a second-hand emporium in knockturn alley. half-blood.
β
bio - musings - visage - quotes β ( pinterest ) ( playlist ) ( connections )
who: remus & lily / @rcmvsj where: lily & rosie's flat when: december 21st, early afternoon
after another rather miserable failed attempt at clasping the last roller with a piece of her hand , lily throws the plastic onto her bed before she rushes out of her bedroom . β bloody hell , i am coming ! β she calls out to remus in exasperation , whom had knocked once or twice since his arrival and she couldn't in her right mind stop what she was doing to answer the door . since she'd awoken she had been tense , muscles rigid with nerves . why was she so worked up over something so small ? she'd hung with james plenty , but there loomed the same lingering thought . so the door is opened hurriedly , lily already moving back to her bedroom knowing that remus would follow behind her since there had been many times that he had been a guest here . β i still cannot believe you convinced yourself to go to the ball , remus . β lily says with a short laugh , sitting herself back onto the chair that she had sat in front of the tall floor mirror in her bedroom so she could try for the fifth time to get the last roller to hold the larger strand of hair . but before she's directing her hands to manipulate the hair , her eyes catch remus in the reflection . β you aren't wearing that to the yuletide ball , right ? β
social events and remus lupin in the same sentence were never a good combination, often a harbinger of trouble down the line. yet, of late, heβd become strangely accustomed to the idea that there were, in fact, worse things than that. like a date. he wasnβt sure if that was exactly the phrase lily had used to imply she was going out with james, but to remus, it certainly seemed to fit the bill. and it was one of the reasons he found himself here now, persistently ringing the doorbell. he needed details. he parted his lips to greet his friend, but the words barely had a chance to leave before she was already out of sight. his eyebrows rose in quiet understanding, a small, invisible nod to himself, before he closed the door behind him and followed her up the stairs. β pettigrew is more persuasive than he looks, β he replied in defence, casually leaning against the doorframe as he watched the witch finish fixing her hair. β wellβit's clothes, it serves its purpose, right? β remus never dressed much more than something relatively formal for these sorts of events, which didnβt stray far from his daily attire. sometimes he'd add a tie or polished shoes, but that was about it. β let me help with that. β he said, noticing she was struggling with a stubborn lock of hair, stepping closer to lend a hand. β youβre a bit tenseβare you nervous, lils? β he asked, an inevitable, mischievous smile curving his lips.
this wasn't the life that he grew up in, and now after talking with his father it felt like he had made a mistake. and he didn't know how his friends would react with the fact that peter was now sort of letting the man back into his life. he's leaning against one of the walls looking out for florence or his father, or hell, even vespera at this point since they seemed to get along. he had been surprised that remus had come. he didn't think that he would. "because you're my best friend and you love me?" he says with a smirk, shaking his head. "because i don't want to have to face my father alone? and what a better person to face him with than with a werewolf." he says the last part quietly. "alright, jesus christ," he says, before the floating tray went passed them and of course remus grabbed the last two. "don't be an arse, moony." he reaches out and grabs one and sticks his face in it before remus can even have the moment to grab it back. he diligently flips remus off with his finger as he takes another drink, holding it against his glass. "let's go see what mischief we can get up to in here. this might be our only opportunity."
a contained smile was visible on his face, reserved, as if heβd been holding back the urge to burst into laughter. β you're a right manipulative git, arenβt you, wormtail? β he mocked, rolling his eyes with amusement. and although his tone had been playful, he knew exactly what he had agreed to. he wasnβt about to leave peter alone at a moment like that. his brow furrowed slightly when the wolf had been mentioned. β yeah, wellβyou know you donβt need a full moon for me to show my claws and teeth for you, pete. β a smile, almost too charming, carved his features. β and how the hell am i meant to get pissed like this, pettigrew? β he admitted, despite everything, he was a bit grumpy. and it had nothing to do with the full moon. it was probably the bloody social event he still couldnβt quite wrap his head around. he brought the glass to his lips, taking a larger gulp than expected. β oh please, yes, weβll never be in the malfoy manor again, β he adds, walking close to peter to avoid some relatively familiar faces. β it reminds me of when we were at hogwartsβspecifically the yule ball. β he mentioned, taking another sip of his drink. β i remember fancying a bloke from the fourth yearβor was it the fifth? it was awful seeing him turn up with his girlfriend at the dance, but... β he paused, then a cheeky grin spread across his lips. β i ended up snogging him by the end of the night. β
his plan had been to remain by peterβs side all night, but he couldnβt very well follow him into the bathroom. well, technically he couldβbut he wouldnβt, not in a place where appearances were meant to matter. so, he granted him a few minutes of freedom. he had already had a few drinks, though not nearly enough to feel lightheaded. not even close. " florence, " he greeted courteously when he suddenly found himself in the witchβs company. he wasnβt surprised to see her hereβnot in the slightestβbut for once, he had hoped the universe might grant him a small mercy and spare him an encounter with his friendsβ more peculiar siblings. that thought alone had him immediately scanning the room for regulus. naturally. " alright? " he said after a moment, raising his glass to take a measured sip.
ft. π πππππππ πππππ ( @sacrific1al ) πMALFOY MANOR
there was no disguising the distaste etched across his face, not even when someone approached with a polite greeting. it wasnβt the odd wizards that unsettled himβhe had long since made his peace with strange company. no, what truly irked him was the setting. a high-society event. in a mansion, of all places. a place that someone genuinely lived in, as if that werenβt the most absurd part of it all. the more he dwelled on it, the more ridiculous it became. β could you remind me again why i agreed to come with you? did i lose a bet? β his eyes narrowed as he surveyed the scene, tilting his head slightly to meet his friendβs gaze. β youβd better get me drunk soon, wormtail β for a fleeting moment, his expression remained entirely serious, but the faintest hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. remus would do anything for his friends, even if it meant enduring something like this. just then, a floating tray laden with assorted drinks glided past. without hesitation, he reached out and seized two glasses. β oi! β he said, instinctively pulling them away from peter. β both mine. β
ft. πππππ πππππππππ ( @impcrios ) πMALFOY MANOR
Sirius eyed the bandage Remus was playing with, wondering what had happened. When they were at school, they were all together during the full moon to keep an eye on him. He wondered why they had stopped. Now that he didnβt have a designated space to go to, meant they should still be running with him to make sure nothing badΒ happened. Or did he still go to the shack to keep himself contained?Β When Remus spoke, he was pulled from his thoughts and looked up at the other. βEither that or those were the ones they were able to get their hands on,β he said, running a hand through his hair. βItβs not like anything groundbreaking was said; no one seems to have any idea what happened.β It was all more of the same; no one had seen or suspected anything. If that's how all of the interviews went, they wouldnβt have much for leads. βYeah, told them I mingled around the place, but I didnβt see anything, so, couldnβt really give them anything. What about you?β
sometimes words werenβt necessary between them to know what was going on in each otherβs heads. he had the same connection with james and peter. for remus, who was also quite observant, it was even easier to read looks and gestures. his green eyes followed siriusβs grey ones until they landed on the bandage around his wrist. the corner of his lips curved into something resembling a smile before he spoke. " woke up with my wrist broken the day after the full moon. not sure what happenedβsometimes i miss hanging out with you lot like we used to at hogwarts. butβi get that youβre all busy. " he also knew that, if he asked, any of them would come to keep him company, but he didnβt want to disrupt their routines like that. the past three years had been enough. " anyway, i went to see peter to have it checked out, " he decided to leave out the new scratches now marking his back. it wasnβt something pleasant for any of them to hear. " and itβs all good now. " he sighed, shaking his head. " yeah, thatβs a possibility too, " he shrugged lazily, still aching from the consequences that came with the new missions for remus. " me? ohβno, nothing. donβt think theyβd be interested in myβ¦ human side. " he rolled his eyes with a hint of amusement on his face. theyβd probably have approached him if it was a different time of the month. " but i appreciate it. the interrogations... they put me in a foul mood. you usually donβt get anywhere with them unless youβve got proofβand as far as i know... thereβs nothing. " but maybe he didnβt know everything. it wasnβt like theyβd be handing any info over to him. "anywayβdo you happen to have a cigarette, pads? left mine at home. "
when remus wanted to meet up it had surprised her, mostly knowing because of what he was currently going through. it must have been hard, having to deal with being a werewolf, which was a sentence she couldn't even begin to understand as a muggleborn. sometimes, coming into this wixen world, was a lot. she still felt like she didn't completely understand what was going on, but that empathy was what kept her here. with what was currently going on in her world was a lot. she knew that she could never talk about it with her family. it made it so isolating. which, in turn, made her even more worried for remus. so when she sees him she can't help but wrap her arms around him for a moment. "you look like shit, babe." she says with a small smile, running her hands through his hair once before finally sitting down. "yes they did," she sighs, leaning back in her chair. "but there wasn't much that i could tell them," she shrugs. most of her night had been with either barty or standing by the doors near the exit. she felt bad for not being able to tell the aurors more than that. "well, i believe most aurors are corrupt." she says with a shrug, of course there was james potter, frank longbottom, or hell even alice fortescue who was decent, but mary was raised to believe the opposite. she didn't trust many people. "here," she says, quickly sliding him a pain and sleep potion under the table. "i brewed these for you." she says quietly. it wasn't often that mary brewed something, but she always would for remus.
he struggled to keep his more human side in check, but with the full moon just a day away, his more feral instincts ruled his every move. his green eyes locked onto the others when he heard the first remark. β yeah, well, i feel like absolute shit too, sweetheart, β he said, savouring the irony in every word. his sharp tongue was always the first to lash out when the cycle loomed closerβand the first thing he tried to bite back. he hated the person he became around this time, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. β sorry, maryβi know i shouldnβt be here today, β he began, letting out a heavy sigh. these were the days he preferred to spend locked away, with as little human contact as possible. β but i wanted to see you after everything thatβs been going on. β he shrugged. β the aurors? corrupt? pff, the whole bloody ministryβs corrupt. and thatβs both worlds, unfortunately. fucking hell, i canβt stand politicians, β he muttered, the same rough tone from before, though the tension in his features eased slightly with the sip of coffee he took. this time, however, he didnβt bother to apologise for the bitterness lacing his voice. when he finished his sandwich, he raised a hand to order another, then shifted his gaze to meet the other witchβs before finally settling on the vials she handed him. β huh? β he took them between his fingers, his smile tugging slightly wider. β cheers, mary, really appreciate it. β and then, guilt crept in for bringing the mood down the way he had. β whatβs the limit on these pain potions, by the way? took one this morning, butβtoday and tomorrow are gonna be a fucking nightmare. β
BEFORE SUNRISE (1995) dir. Richard Linklater
@apparitixns
shawnaΒ raisesΒ aΒ browΒ atΒ hisΒ defineΒ appealingΒ comment,Β alreadyΒ clockingΒ theΒ doubtΒ inΒ hisΒ tone.Β βΒ oh,Β comeΒ on,Β lupin,Β liveΒ aΒ little,Β βΒ sheΒ teases,Β nudgingΒ hisΒ arm.Β βΒ iΒ knowΒ youβreΒ allergicΒ toΒ fun,Β butΒ iΒ promise,Β itΒ wonβtΒ killΒ you.Β βΒ butΒ thenΒ heΒ grins,Β throwingΒ outΒ thatΒ youΒ reallyΒ doΒ hateΒ me,Β donβtΒ youΒ ?Β andΒ sheΒ rollsΒ herΒ eyes,Β thoughΒ thereβsΒ noΒ realΒ heatΒ behindΒ it.Β βΒ please,Β βΒ sheΒ scoffs,Β leaningΒ backΒ inΒ herΒ seat.Β βΒ ifΒ iΒ hatedΒ you,Β youβdΒ knowΒ it.Β βΒ sheΒ smirksΒ beforeΒ adding,Β βΒ iΒ justΒ findΒ greatΒ joyΒ inΒ makingΒ yourΒ lifeΒ difficult.Β itβsΒ aΒ hobby,Β really.Β keepsΒ meΒ sharp.Β β hisΒ admissionΒ aboutΒ theΒ foamΒ fingerΒ makesΒ herΒ pause,Β blinkingΒ atΒ himΒ beforeΒ breakingΒ intoΒ aΒ slow,Β delightedΒ grin.Β βΒ youΒ sayΒ thatΒ likeΒ iΒ wonβtΒ holdΒ youΒ toΒ it.Β βΒ sheΒ leansΒ forwardΒ again,Β allΒ mock-seriousness.Β βΒ justΒ imagineΒ it.Β you,Β inΒ theΒ stands,Β deckedΒ outΒ inΒ waspsΒ merch,Β giantΒ foamΒ fingerΒ andΒ all.Β cheeringΒ myΒ name.Β maybeΒ evenΒ sheddingΒ aΒ single,Β proudΒ tearΒ whenΒ iΒ makeΒ theΒ winningΒ goal.Β βΒ sheΒ sighsΒ dramatically,Β placingΒ aΒ handΒ overΒ herΒ heart.Β βΒ itβllΒ beΒ beautiful.Β βΒ ifΒ onlyΒ she'dΒ beΒ upΒ toΒ play,Β andΒ thenΒ playΒ wellΒ enoughΒ toΒ scoreΒ anΒ actualΒ goal.Β maybeΒ allΒ thisΒ talkΒ wasΒ moreΒ ofΒ aΒ dreamΒ forΒ herΒ toΒ imagineΒ thanΒ somethingΒ forΒ him. whenΒ heΒ finallyΒ startsΒ consideringΒ theΒ deepΒ cuts,Β sheΒ propsΒ herΒ chinΒ onΒ herΒ hand,Β watchingΒ himΒ closely.Β sheΒ knowsΒ enoughΒ howΒ heΒ isΒ βΒ knowsΒ thatΒ someΒ stories,Β especiallyΒ onesΒ fromΒ backΒ inΒ the day,Β areΒ harderΒ forΒ anyoneΒ toΒ tell.Β butΒ whenΒ heΒ admitsΒ heΒ doesnβtΒ evenΒ knowΒ allΒ ofΒ them,Β sheΒ tiltsΒ herΒ head,Β thoughtful.Β βΒ yeah,Β well,Β thatΒ tracks,Β βΒ sheΒ muses.Β βΒ iΒ feelΒ likesΒ jamesΒ canΒ beΒ theΒ worstΒ whenΒ itΒ comesΒ toΒ secrets.Β probablyΒ tookΒ halfΒ ofΒ themΒ toΒ theΒ graveΒ justΒ forΒ theΒ funΒ ofΒ it.Β βΒ sheΒ wasn'tΒ sureΒ aboutΒ sirius,Β orΒ evenΒ theirΒ otherΒ friend,Β peter,Β butΒ ifΒ theyΒ wereΒ anythingΒ likeΒ remusΒ andΒ james,Β sheΒ wasΒ sureΒ theΒ storiesΒ wereΒ endless. sheΒ takesΒ aΒ pauseΒ toΒ finishΒ herΒ drink,Β andΒ thenΒ heΒ saysΒ that.Β herΒ glassΒ hitsΒ theΒ tableΒ aΒ littleΒ tooΒ hardΒ asΒ sheΒ staresΒ atΒ him,Β eyesΒ wide.Β βΒ β¦Β sorry.Β runΒ thatΒ back.Β βΒ herΒ lipsΒ partΒ intoΒ aΒ slow,Β almostΒ incredulousΒ smile.Β breakingΒ intoΒ hogwartsΒ ?Β thatβsΒ whatΒ heβsΒ leadingΒ withΒ ?Β βΒ oh,Β youΒ absoluteΒ menace.Β youΒ canβtΒ justΒ dangleΒ somethingΒ likeΒ thatΒ inΒ frontΒ ofΒ meΒ andΒ expectΒ meΒ notΒ toΒ takeΒ theΒ bait.Β βΒ sheΒ leansΒ forward,Β elbowsΒ onΒ theΒ bar,Β eyesΒ glintingΒ withΒ somethingΒ betweenΒ amusementΒ andΒ intrigue.Β βΒ youΒ doΒ realizeΒ whoΒ youβreΒ talkingΒ to,Β yeahΒ ?Β breakingΒ intoΒ hogwartsΒ isΒ practicallyΒ aΒ bucketΒ listΒ itemΒ atΒ thisΒ point.Β isΒ theΒ secretΒ wayΒ toΒ getΒ thereΒ nearbyΒ ?Β β
live a little. how many times had he heard that phrase in his life? too many, probably. the remark felt so familiar, so predictable, that it merely tugged the corners of his lips into a reserved smile. it was always the same. after those words, the usual response followedβan eye roll and, against all better judgement, proceeding to live a little. a decision that, more often than not, resulted in detentions that would take months to get out of. but, in the end, they were always worth it. " oh, youβd be surprised. " he spoke in little more than a whisper, his already-present smile tilting slightly to the side. then, he nodded slowly, as if those words made more sense than he was willing to admit. " yeah? join the club. " he allowed himself to joke, raising an eyebrow in mock exasperation.
his expression shifted subtly as he listened to shawna's description. his eyes narrowed with suspicion, and he shook his head. " could you stop describing one of my worst nightmares? honestlyβ¦ youβre worse than a boggart. " his tone was serious, yet the lack of weight in his words made his amusement evident.
he couldnβt lie and pretend that what happened next took him by surprise. he simply finished his beer with quiet ease, and though he knew there was no use in analysing the situation, he did it anyway. the cards were already on the table, and knowing shawna, no one was going to talk her out of this new idea. least of all himβwho, in a way, had been the one to suggest it in the first place. classic.
a smirk, edged with mischief, tugged at his lips as he leaned back against the bar, resting his elbows on the counter. " no, thereβs not just one secret way inβ¦ there are several. " his voice lowered a notch as he turned his gaze towards her. " but weβre going to need help if we want to get inside. an old friend i havenβt seen in years. " without another word, he straightened up, tossing just enough money onto the table to cover both drinks. and perhaps now he could feel the alcohol settling in his system. not enough to make sneaking into hogwarts seem like a good idea, but certainly enough not to argue against it. " shall we? "
he reached for the witchβs hand, and in the blink of an eye, they appeared at a safe distance in muggle london, just outside the flat he shared with james. guiding her along the pavement, he led her inside, shutting the door behind them before calling out, " prongs? " a noise from the other room provided the answer he expected. he took the opportunity to add, with the casual tone of someone who had seen far too much in this household, " erβ¦ iβm here with shawna. in case you want to think twice before coming out inβwell, whatever it is youβre wearing. "
his expression softened with quiet amusement, and when his gaze finally met jamesβs all-too-familiar brown eyes, he attempted to summarise the reason for their visit. " we were at the three broomsticksβ¦ waiting for you, actually. wellβnow that i think about it, i may have forgotten to mention that weβd be there waiting for youβ¦ anyway. " he cleared his throat before continuing. " would you mind if we borrowed your invisibility cloak? " he narrowed his eyes slightly, slipping his hands into the pockets of his coat as he tried to piece together a coherent explanation. " i may have accidentally let slip that i knowβthat we know how to get into hogwarts. and shawnaβ¦ " he paused briefly, exhaling with mild resignation. " i have a feeling she wouldβve made a better marauder than the lot of us combined. " he finished with a touch of humour, leaning casually against the nearest wall. then, wetting his lower lip, he exhaled once more. " you could come with us. show her the quidditch pitch. iβm afraid i wonβt make much of a tour guide for that. " and with a barely more pronounced grin, he added, not without a trace of playful provocation: " or has getting into trouble started to scare you? " his tone was light, but there was an unmistakable glint of challenge in his wordsβthe kind he only ever used with james.
@amcrtentias ft. πππππ ππππππ & ππππππ πππππππ
The mention of their parents catches James off-guard and their expression shutters, the smile on their face flickering in place. Itβs just for a second - a tiny chink in their armour visible only to those that know them best - but itβs there. Itβs been more than a year since their mother and father passed, and still James can barely bring themselves to talk about them, their enduring love smothered by deep and terrible grief. It feels like a betrayal, like an insult to their memory, but James justβ¦ canβt. Thereβs no way they can possibly express how much they miss them, not without falling apart - and what use would they be to anyone in pieces?
Still, they force themselves to go along with Remusβs hypothesising, answering with a quick levity that they hope seems casual enough for the topic to be dropped. βWell, I'd probably just take a leaf out of their book, wouldn't I? Mum fucked off her betrothal to run away with Dad, and I reckon I'd do the same, if I was in love with someone else." Or, rather, if the person they were in love with actually loved them back. It's a hell of a gamble to take a chance on one thing at the expense of all else, but James is their fatherβs son, and has never been afraid of a little risk. It would be worth it, they think, to be even half as happy as the Potters had been together. βImagine, if things had worked out differently, youβd be sitting here having coffee with James Goyle.β
Jamesβs head is swimming - when were Sirius and Remus anything but friends? They suppose it puts in jarring perspective just how busy theyβve been, between the auror office and their extracurriculars for the Order, to have missed such a major development. They nod along with Remusβs explanation, but have already resolved themselves not to ask any further questions. Perhaps itβs selfish, but if the relationship (if it could even be called that) is already over, thereβs surely no point in worrying about it? Frankly, theyβve got enough on their plate already without the added fear that their friendship group is going to unravel over a failed romantic entanglement. If Remus says itβs fine, theyβll take him at his word.
"Enough of what? Of you? Not on your life.β Itβs a sentiment that comes easily, delivered with such nonchalance that it loops right back around to being sincere. For James, it really is as simple as that - Remus is their friend, and heβs a werewolf, and thatβs the way itβs always been. What is there to get sick of, when nothingβs really changed? βCome on, Moony, youβre meant to be the sensible one - you need somewhere to live, and Iβve got a spare room that isnβt above some manky dark wizardβs bolt-hole - surely itβs a no-brainer.β
At the mention of money, James waves a dismissive hand, it never having occurred to them to ask Remus to contribute to the bills in the first place. βHonestly, mate - and Iβm about to sound like a massive bellend, so bear with me - but I donβt really need your money. I mean, Iβm not exactly hard-up for cash, and Iβve been affording the place on my own all this time, havenβt I?β They say, their tone carrying enough good humour to counteract just how gentle their smile has become. James doesnβt mean to insult him, or imply that heβs incapable of paying his way, but they hope Remus will see the logic in their offer - after all, thereβs only one heir to the Sleekeazy fortune, and theyβre sitting directly opposite him with money to burn. βYou can kick in something if thatβs what you need to do to feel comfortable, or whatever, but Iβm never going to ask you for anything, okay? You could save your paycheck, or blow it all on books and muffins, whatever you want.β
he didnβt know how long he was supposed to wait before he could bring up jamesβ parents. maybe because he saw death differentlyβsomething that couldβve easily happened to him at five years old. and yet, somehow, he now lived with something worse. yes. some things were worse than deathβremus knew that better than most. but that didnβt mean he lacked empathy, least of all when it came to james. he weighed his words carefully, choosing them with deliberate thought. he wasnβt trying to make james talk about their feelingsβremus simply didnβt work that way. but he did want to help them carry their grief differently. lighter, somehow.
sometimes, he just wanted to shoulder everything james was carrying, just to ease the burden for a while.
he listened closely, that half-smile forming on his lips as james spoke. β that does soundβ¦ nice, actually. β he wasnβt sure if that was the right word, but he stuck with it anyway. β if that were the case, iβd have helped you run away with them. β he raised his eyebrows as if the scenario were unfolding right in front of him, considering it with genuine thought.
β james goyle, β he repeated, narrowing his eyes. he wasnβt smiling, but there was unmistakable amusement in his expression. β interestingβwell, who knows? maybe youβd still be a natural leader, and weβd all be on the other side of the war. β his tone was dry, with just the slightest trace of amusement. then, after a pause, he added, β and youβd be better looking, at least, β his voice softening, more casual now.
he was about to take a bite of his second muffin when jamesβ response made him pause for just a fraction of a second before carrying on. sometimes, he couldnβt quite believe how lucky he was to have someone like them. he didnβt think he deserved it, and he certainly didnβt know how to repay themβexcept with quiet, unspoken gratitude. he could still hear his parentsβ voices, repeating the same warning over and over: that he would never have friends. that he couldnβt have friends. and for sixteen years, he had believed them. even now, it still felt surreal.
he was grateful for the coffee at his side; otherwise, the bite of muffin wouldnβt have gone down past the lump in his throat. he had no intention of getting emotional, so he did what he always didβcovered it up. β well, i just thought i could use myβ¦ pre-full-moon grumpiness to go after dark wizards, β he said, attempting to keep his voice light. β i mean, after all those years of making your lives miserableβseems only fair. β he never felt right about it. about putting them through that every month. but even if he wanted to, it wasnβt something he could control.
β and anywayβknockturn alley isnβt that bad. you and lily make it sound like it is, butβmost of the weirdos there donβt talk much, so they leave me alone to read or sleep. β he was always trying to convince them that he was fine working there. and, for the most part, heβd learned to turn a blind eye to things. but if he were being honest, heβd love something more stable. something that made all those years at hogwarts feel like they were worth something.
and there it was again. the tightness in his throat, stopping him from swallowing another bite. he reached for his coffee, nodding slowly, trying to process jamesβ words. he didnβt know how to make up for that, exactly, but he also knew he couldnβt argueβit would be the same if their roles were reversed. βthatβs fine. i get it,β he said at last. β if i were heir to a fortune, iβd take you to live in dubai without asking for anything in return. β he exhaled, shrugging with a touch of resignation. β justβpromise me that if you ever get tired, or overwhelmed, or bored, youβll tell me, yeah? and that if you ever need anything, youβll tell me that too. andβ¦ β he paused. he could go on for hours, but really, all he wanted was to say a simple, honestβ β thanks. β the small curve of his lips was genuine, even if it only lasted a few seconds.
β weβre keeping the same rules as hogwarts, yeah? if you invite someone overβ¦ let me know. and cast the silencing charmsβplease donβt forget the silencing charms. β his voice was serious, but his expression wasnβt. β and iβll be inviting lily over. at least once a weekβiβll let you know in advance so you can dress appropriately, β he added, his tone teasing as he took another sip of coffee.
lily had almost taken the bait set by remus , the dealt wounds on her psyche still engorged by the phantom that haunted the muggleborn's dreams night after night . she'd been interrogated just like everyone else had been , but why did it feel like lily evans had let everyone down that night ? the hospital was filled with anti-apparition wards ( as per usual ) so her own eyes would have watched the person set foot onto the grounds and most likely , she would have seen them leave too . every face she could draw from her memories were as insignificant as the other - β no , definitely not . β she replies with a shake of her head , saying the whole truth to her close friend . if lily had allowed herself a moment of stillness again , it would break whatever fragile happiness she had now . but remus touched her hand with a gentleness that felt so foreign , yet needed in that moment . it brimmed with the same endearment that she once held for petunia , and while the absence of her sister's love left a permanent scar on lily , remus lupin had somehow placed himself into her life and left nothing for her to miss most days . β being busy is good for me , i promise . β she says sincerely , doing her absolute best to convince the other that she would ( eventually ) be fine once more . the last time she had conceded to someone to take a beat , lily evans had accidentally fallen asleep on james potter's couch for the entire night . in hindsight , not the worst thing to do but it was not the kind of coping mechanism that the female could use once again . β as if i would have ever let you rent an apartment near knockturn , β lily says with a playful swat of her hand . β i would have had a proper talking with rosie , and i am sure the both of us would prefer you as a third roommate than you out there alone . β lily would have even taken the couch in the living to accommodate remus . β but this will be good for the both of you . β lily musters a smile, averting her gaze too at the preoccupation about the wix with glasses , who was most likely buried under a mountain of papers . but lily is taken from her thoughts at his next question, already pushing herself away from the counter to summon the enchanted chest that was several meteres away . β of course i do , β she says matter-of-factly , obtaining two vails from different compartments and placing them between the pair . β one's strong enough to numb it a bit , but the other will make you a tad drowsy so i'd advise you to take it once you've made it home . no need to accidentally splinch yourself cause you're too tired - β she jokes lightly , eyes fixed on him . β everything alright with you , then ? β
remus wasnβt the type of person to push or pressure others into expressing their thoughts, let alone their feelings. he simply played the role of the listener when someone needed him, leaving that message subtly woven into the conversation. like the small smile he now offered his friend, one that, though bordering on shy, was genuine. or the warm touch he occasionally allowed himself to give her soft skin, a gesture as simple as it was kind. β lils, β he breathed lightly, tilting his face ever so slightly to the side, his greenish eyes fixed on hers of a similar shade. β you know you can tell me anything, right? anything, whenever you want, at any timeβiβll always be here to listen. β he didnβt want it to seem like there were only certain moments to talk. remus would always be available for her. he then seized the chance to change the subject, giving lily the space she needed to process whatever was going on. a reserved curve of his lips softened his expression. β hm, well, it was close to workβi've been working there for so many months now that it doesn't seem that bad. β part of him had grown used to repeating that, not wanting to worry his friends, though over time he had truly learned to ignore the little details of the place. β besides, sometimes you overhear some rather interesting conversations, β he admitted, a playful glint in his eyes. β now that you mention it, living with you and rosie sounds lovelyβfar better than living with a bloke, iβd say. β he narrowed his eyes for a moment, but before long, an amused smile tugged at the corner of his lips. β though iβm so used to living with jamesβand if i have to annoy someone with my grumpy humour just before the full moon, iβd rather it be them than you two. β either way, he could say his three closest friends were used to living with those mood swings. and then he didnβt take long to slowly nod, his expression becoming more cautious. β i think so tooβiβve seen themβ¦ tired lately. i know weβre all tired, butβ¦ i feel like itβs different for them. i wish theyβd worry a little less about everything, so it didnβt affect them so much, butβ¦ then, they wouldnβt be james. β he subtly raised his shoulders, shrugging in a gesture of understanding. β iβll need to see you over there more often then, yeah? also, iβll need you as backup to help explain to james how muggle appliances work. β he smiled appreciatively at the explanation of the vails, taking the one he was meant to take at that moment. if he didnβt, heβd probably mix them up later. when lily asked one last question, remus debated whether it was right to mention his conversation with dumbledore just then. he obviously didnβt want to worry her, but if he didnβt talk to her, heβd feel like he was lying. β lilsβi think i need to tell you something. β with a graceful flick of his wand, he locked the door so no one could enter and interrupt, and just in case, muttered, β muffliato. β
where: the post office, diagon alley when: early morning, december 2nd with: open!
The post office in Diagon Alley is absolute chaos at this time of year, and Primrose finds herself standing right in the thick of it, being jostled by other wix from all sides as she tries desperately to hang onto the stack of neatly-addressed Christmas cards in her hands. Usually she doesnβt mind making use of the public owls, but every year December rolls back around, and she finds herself wishing she could afford to keep one of her ownβ¦
Just as sheβs making progress towards the help desk, a particularly overeager wizard pushes in front of her, catching her with his elbow and sending her pile of brightly coloured envelopes scattering all over the floor. βHey!β She exclaims indignantly, already getting to her knees to try and collect them back up before they get completely trampled underfoot (with no regard for her own potential to meet the same fate), βFae the love of Morgana, I thought ye English were supposed tae be good at queuing.β
he could have asked one of his friends for an owl to send a couple of letters, but remus felt like they were already doing too much for him to keep bothering them. besides, it wasnβt exactly a hassle to go to the post office himself and send the letters he needed to. he understood they had to reach wales, but he wasnβt sure how the owl system worked for such long trips. wasnβt it too much for a bird? he couldnβt help but wonder as his feet hit the post office floor, and the familiar scent of the place hit his nose. and, to make matters worse, it was absolutely packed with people. he looked around, seriously considering just sending the letters after christmas, but heβd come all this way, and it felt morally wrong to back out now. he shuffled to the correct counter, when suddenly, he felt a shove to his side. he tracked the unfamiliar figure with his eyes for a fraction of a second before hearing a familiar voice next to him. " rosie? " he called, cautiously moving closer to kneel beside her and help pick up the scattered letters. " i donβt know who made you believe that lieβi'm pretty sure itβs not just tea they drink at breakfast, " he warned, his dry tone showing off the characteristic sharpness of remusβs humour. " here, " he offered the letters, lifting the corner of his mouth just slightly to give her a small smile. " are you trying to steal the job from the owls, or do you just have a lot of friends? " he asked with a teasing grin as he noticed the pile of envelopes she was carrying. they might not have been that many, but to remus, more than two was practically a mountain.
βLonely was the first flavor I had tasted in my life, and it was always there, hidden inside the crevices of my mouth, reminding me.β
β Elizabeth Strout, My Name Is Lucy Barton (via wordsnquotes)
peter was running ragged, it felt like. it was never anything he couldn't handle but it was tiring being in this profession. he had gotten very little sleep and most of the time he was at the hospital more than he was in his own flat that he shared with melis. he had barely seen her it seemed like. when he gets a new case he looks at the chart before realizing the name and he jumps to their bed, opening up the curtain to see the other. he never liked seeing his friends here, but with all of his friends line of work it didn't surprise him. but seeing remus? he didn't know what to think. "how did you break your wrist?" peter asks, he usually had more tact, but he's known remus for so long he just gets straight to the point. he puts the chart down and grabs his wand, holding remus' wrist delicately in his hands and looks at the bruising before doing a diagnostic charm for any other damage. he frowns looking at it, he grabs a pain and numbing potion off the crash cart and holds it out for remus. "take these," he says, "and then take a deep breath for me, you shouldn't feel it too much but i'm about to put your wrist back in place." he holds his wrist delicately, his wand in his hand sturdy before he says the incantation quietly before it snaps back into place. "this is going to hurt for a while. even if prescribe you a pain potion." he says quietly. "what happened, remus?"
the last thing he wanted was to bother peter. or any of his friends, reallyβ¦ or people in general. god. remus could probably live on a deserted island just to avoid feeling like a burden to anyone. but here he was, in the hospital, bothering peter. his brows knitted together as the other wizard moved closer to treat his broken wristβnot out of pain, but because this wasnβt exactly what he had asked for. β bandages wouldβve been fine, you didnβt have toβ β he cut himself off, the sharp pain forcing him into silence. sometimes, letting his friends take care of him was difficult. but they couldnβt blame him for that. no one had ever really cared about him for the first sixteen years of his life. β thanks, pete. β his voice softened as his gaze met peterβs, and thatβs when he saw itβgenuine concern. he had to choose his words carefully, say just enough without giving too much away. β a hippogriff orβmaybe another wolf, no ideaβ β he admitted, which was only partially a lie. β i donβt have you lot every month anymore to tell me what happens during the night, β he added with a small, genuine smile. β the wolf mustβve decided to go exploring. i woke up somewhere iβd never been before. β that, at least, was true. part of the plan had been to seek out the pack. he didnβt feel well. and not just because of the terrible night heβd had. his skin was paler than usual, fresh scratches marked his face, and the rest of his body bore wounds heβd rather not let peter see. but more than that, he felt sick with the weight of the secret he had to keep from them. β iβm not sure what happened, wormy, i justβ¦ β he hesitated, lips twisting into a grimace as pain rippled through his arm. β could you not tell james i was here? heβs got enough on his plate already, with work, the radio leaksβ¦ everything else. β he exhaled, glancing away. he hated making them worry. β what timeβs your shift over? β he asked, maybe just to change the subject.
he was fiddling with the bandage on his left wrist. it still ached a bit, just as peter had said. but the scratches on his back were definitely a nightmare. at least the full moon had passed, so he was slowly regaining his characteristic sense of humour. β hmm, not sure, pads. the leaked interrogations seem a bit dodgy to me. i donβt think they picked them at random. β he began, placing a cigarette between his lips, which he lit with a non-verbal spell. he took a slow drag, exhaling the smoke through his nose. β i just hope they wrap it up soon, β he sighed, finally meeting the other wizardβs gaze. β what about you? was your interrogation... normal? β he asked, as he hadnβt had the chance to speak to many people about it.
ft. ππππππ πππππ ( @sonoruss ) πDIAGON ALLEY
remus looked a mess. his pale face accentuated the dark, violet circles under his eyes, and his skin appeared dry, much like his lips, which he bit impatiently, the burn from them still fresh. however, he had decided to forget the date and meet mary at a quaint muggle cafΓ© in london. despite the curious glances that turned his way, now with less subtlety, he found it easy to ignore them when in the company of the other witch. β did they interrogate you too, mary? β he searched for a topic different from the usual, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. β i donβt know why they keep at it with the investigationβquite obvious theyβre not going to get anywhere with it. β his voice carried a sharper edge than usual, though he was sure on any normal day it would sound exactly the same. he tended to be blunt when it came to such matters. β at least they didnβt use veritaserum, β or so he presumed. he then took a bite from the sandwich in front of himβhis fourth one.
ft. ππππ πππππππππ ( @impcrios ) π MUGGLE CAFΓ
it was his last full moon in familiar territory, but he didnβt want to think about that now. he knew that when the time came, he would have to speak with his closest friends, explain the reason for his absence without raising too many suspicions. he still had a few weeks to come up with a decent excuse to vanish, so for now, his goal was to ease the pain from the fresh wounds that had appeared on his body the night before. " oi, pete, " he greeted his friend when he finally found him in st. mungoβs hospital. his voice was soft, almost fragile, but also rough and raspy, a normal consequence of the strain on his throat. even so, the gentle smile that spread across his face when he met a familiar face remained unchanged. " donβt want to keep you too long, " he started, aware that his friend was on duty. " itβsβthink Iβve broken my wrist last nightβhm, got a couple of bandages and any pain potion lying around? i can manage, " he offered. there were also a few new scratches on his back that would soon become scars, but that wasnβt something he was eager to share, not just yet.
ft. πππππ πππππππππ ( @impcrios ) π ST. MUNGO'S HOSPITAL
