Another expansion to the au where humans are a new species introduced to the pet market under the belief they’re a non sentient race. They become the trendy exotic pets in cybertronian culture.
Warnings: some valveplug 🔞
Rodimus
- paid way too much for you when off ship. Like way way too much. None of it was technically his own money though. I’ll give you one guess where he got the funds.
- dresses you up as a mini him, in a full commissioned cosplay which is the equivalent of lingerie with a helmet and decorative armour. What? (Your soft skin is just too precious to actually hide under a full armour set. That’s the only reason) Calls you miniRod. Did it initially as a joke because he thought it would be adorable but immediately started jerking it the first time he saw you in it.
- The crew is constantly asking where the supply funds for the month went and Rod just sends back photos of you with whatever new (insanely expensive) thing he’s gotten you this time.
- Has absolutely tried to pop you down at meetings to “stand in” for him when he’s “busy”. The other bots sigh, looking down at the tiny human smiling and waving at them, dumb and clueless as to what’s going on.
- Makes up a little theme song for you he sings whenever he pops you in front of someone. You sway along happily. It’s good you don’t know how condescending and explicit the lyrics are.
- Whenever he’s on a call, he’s playing with you in his palm, thumb stroking over your body or grinding you against the tip of his spike. I’d love to say he keeps you off camera but he probably doesn’t, not like they can’t hear the whimpers and wet noises. If someone complains he calls discrimination and files paperwork to have you officially recognised as a a concentration and productivity aid.
- You’re the LL mascot, whether the crew likes it or not. You have found the ship tannoy system and you like to babble down it and hear your voice echoing through every room, day or night. He’s never been so proud. He thinks it’s improving moral.
- Absolutely human valve/spike pilled. Doesn’t even care about the whole sentience debate. His decision making went as far as “wow this feels fucking great so it must be right”
- Puts you down and gets distracted, leaving you there alone, all the time. You’ve been left on his desk, in the meeting room, on the bar, and just about everywhere else at some point. Thankfully one of the other bots usually finds you just staring up at them like this
and most of them take pity enough to babysit until Rod remembers he’s missing something, even if they sigh and grumble about it. He’ll try casual about it. (Just know they’re only doing it for your benefit, not his.) Of course he knew where you were, duh. He didn’t and he has been running around looking for you for the last hour.
- One time he can’t find you and it’s been days now. brainstorm manages to find your heat signature behind inside one of the ship walls. He activates a ship wide emergency (it absolutely was not authorised to be used for this scenario) and it becomes a whole mission to cut you out.
- There’s so many stupid ways you would die. A) You fall and he’s mid catching you when he notices a bit of energon on his lip. He stops to wipe it off. B) He reads that you need UV light like a plant and puts you in a glass under an industrial lamp and comes back to you shrivelled to a crisp. C) The ships under lockdown with an active battle taking place and you’re wandering through the corridors with a spoon and half a ration bar, trying to find him because to because you’ve ran out of peanut butter and as usual he’s nowhere to be found. The list is endless
Whirl
- probably found you skittering around. Who knows how you got there. Literally the equivalent on finding a rat in the basement and keeping it as your shiny new (feral) pet.
- You bite him when he tries picking you up, probably growling and hissing. Tried spitting on that big yellow peeper. He has heart eye(s) and decides in that moment that he’s keeping you.
- Chases other bots around with you in his hand, while you yell and squirm, threatening that when he catches them, his little human is going to burrow into their plating and chew through their wires.
- Has no idea about humans in general but makes up lies to others just to horrify them about how you bite the heads off of your own babies if left alone with them, you detonate like a grenade is scared enough, and you live on a diet of mesh and metal alone. Riptide is terrified and has so many nightmares. Starts seeing Rung because of it.
- Initially would be just terrible. Likes to pin you down just to watch you squirm. Likes to hold you high while slowly loosening his grip to see the fear in your eyes as you scrabble to grip to him. You’re cute and friend shaped and it makes him hate you. Is it hate? He doesn’t know because he can’t bring himself to ever actually kill or seriously maim you.
- Over time he’s treatment would soften somewhat. The resentment sparked from your softness and dependence would slowly morph into a more protective tenderness. That doesn’t mean you will register it as such though
- suffers from unbearable cuteness aggression. Uses you like a squeaky toy in his pincers and likes to rotates his wrist while cooing “weee” at you as you’re subjected to near G-Force speeds. If it looks like you’re going to puke holds you over someone else’s helm to do it.
- For enrichment he puts you in a glass of water with another on top and shakes you like a margarita. It’s surprisingly fun tbh.
- it goes without saying that he’ll also use you as an excuse to commit chaos. “Hey, meat, i think you’re telling me to unpin this grenade and throw it into that storage closet.” You’re blinking up at him, eyes flicking to the grenade in his hand with terror. “Welp that settles it, you always have the best ideas.”
- I actually don’t see you dying with Whirl. I think you’d be the cockroach in the situation. You shouldn’t be alive (countless times over) but here you are sitting, munching on some crackers, and swinging your legs from your perch on his tiddies.
- He gets depressive bouts and it means you’re left to your own devices while he lies there, unmoving enough to convince you he’s offline. Will make himself get up to tend to your needs eventually but terrorises you (“playfully”) for it just to get the bust of whatever their equivalent of dopamine is it gives him.
- Loves fisting his spike with you in his hand or placing you on top of it to see if he can slide you down onto just the tip. You make out sloppy with the fluid outlet on top and it’s a game to you to ride that thing like a fireman’s pole while he giggles and puts you back on top to go again. Just shoves you right into his spike to feel you squirm around in there (certified freak). Pulls you out covered in his sticky fluids and probably dunks you in a cup of water to clean you off and tucks you into your nest with a little “kiss” goodnight (he bumps his head into and it always hurts)
- Has no qualms about fucking his pet especially since you clearly don’t possess the capacity to understand how disgusting and unfuckable he is. Who else would ever let him do this to them? He’s experienced the cruel hand of so called sentient and intelligent beings as they stripped him of his body and his worth and has decides he much prefers yours.
Megatron
- I’ve already covered Meg’s in another post but to reiterate: Probably took you to spite Rod, it definitely wasn’t out of pity or interest…nope. Sees you blinking up at him on the empty bar you’ve been left on for god knows how long…again, and finders keepers was enacted. That’s his human now.
- Trauma dumps, speaks through ideas, and tells you about his day. You obviously don’t understand a word but you curl up against his arm or hand, staring up at his mouth as it moves, sometimes falling asleep. Pretends any noises you make are very sound advice or philosophical interjections.
- Big guard dog energy. Won’t stand to have anyone mess with you or make crude remarks about you.
- Lets you wrestle his finger while he works, often ended with you pinned to the desk by it until you tap out.
- Sleeps with you on him, listening to your heartbeats and breathing. You become a certified emotional support pet and you’re going everywhere with him now.
- Another cuteness aggression victim. Where whirls is more to just have you squeak and squirm, megatrons leans more into the “I need to squeeze you until you explode or chew you to paste” side of things and it scares him because he would never actually hurt you.
- Writes (bad?) poetry about you and how he assumes you must see the world.
- All of your puppy dog eyes, and whining, and desperation would slowly break down his resolve. You’ll break it eventually. One day he just pops you down next to his spike and just lets you do whatever you want to him. Loves every second of it and the line is long crossed and far behind him. The guilt eats him alive but he just cant stop.
- If you die this dramatic mf is probably ending it right there and then (jk. Kind of)
Swerve
- saved up just to get his own human. It was the best day of his life.
- spams the chat with so many pictures of you. One of those pet owners who is taking pictures and fawning every time you do anything at all. “Look how my human was sleeping today🥺” “swerve it looks the exact same as every other time you’ve sent this.” “No. Look. Their toes are all curled up in this one.” “Here’s one of it now. Look at them gulping that water, getting all hydrated.”
- The bar is plastered in photos of you and selfies of you guys together.
- Mimics the noises you make back at you. Fully convinced he has learned to speak human. He hasn’t.
- Always hated being smaller than the others but now he’s thanking primus above because he. Can. Fit. Inside. Of. You. The universe has a plan for him all along.
- Often cums before he can even get it inside of you but don’t worry that just means you can sit on his face for as long as you want. Sentience isn’t something he can even bring himself to consider. He’s too busy drowning in that sticky human lubricant.
- You’re safe with this one and your only true threat is the copious amounts of energon and engex around. someone (whirl) probably plops you into a glass of energon and you are brought to ratchet who sends a reminder to everyone he is NOT a vet and did not go through extensive training and battlefield experience to treat peoples exotic pets.
Nautica
- buys a full terrarium for you and one of the only bots who wouldn’t just carry you around everywhere off the bat. Wants to see you in something close to your natural habitat which she has tried to research extensively.
- Likes to sit at her desk and watch you go about your business and grows concerned when you seem unsure what to do and stare back through the glass at her, instead of sharpening sticks and climbing trees. She thought humans came from a forested dirt planet. What’s wrong with it? She read there was a lot of water so maybe you’re aquatic?
- Notices you seem to be lonely and feels guilty because she doesn’t know what to do to help. She’s lonely too, so decides you can help each other and will regularly brings you out to play together and socialise.
- Her exploration of your body starts as just clinical curiosity. You’re so similar to her from your build to your face and expressions, and you have a valve/spike too just like cybertronians? Sparks a deep curiosity in her about if there is come kind of common ancestor or something.
- Knows humans have natural sexual needs and supplies you with lots of toys to account for that. Doesn’t know why you look horrified when your giant robot owner starts handing you dildos and vibrators. Maybe you just prefer using your hands like you do when you think she isn’t watching? Will assume you’re maybe just not the brightest and will start helping you along and showing you how to use them. (Nautica ily)
Riptide
- probably doesn’t even question why you’re standing in his room (someone definitely found you and didn’t want to take responsibility caring for you and his room was the closest). Shrugs and guesses he owns a human now. The universe truly works in mysterious ways.
- regularly posts questions about you to the LL group chat like it’s google. Only receives (deliberately) wrong answers. At least nautica is trying to help (even if she’s also wildly often wrong)
- begins asking nautica for information on humans and immediately jumps on the fact the your planet has so much water. You’re aquatic and nobody is telling him any different.
- If you don’t know how to swim your life expectancy has dramatically decreased. Made the mistake one time of thinking it was a stroke of genius to leave you overnight to recharge in a container of water and was traumatised finding you the next morning.
- following this, buys a tiny inflated life jacket and makes you wear it all the time, even when you’re nowhere near any water which is most of the time. You stopped trying to take it off because he panics when you do and hey, you can fall asleep with your head resting on it. It’s comfy.
- Likes to cruise around in the water with you on him when he gets the chance. Ahh, just like home, huh little buddy? You usually have no idea what’s going on or why you’re now inside a speedboat but it’s ok.
- It doesn’t matter how many people try to explain to him you don’t speak cybertronian, he absolutely believes they’re just shy. Crouches down and stares at you waiting for the day you finally talk back to him. “It’s ok little guy. You can talk to me. Take all the time you need.”
- When he finally catches you touching yourself he will apologise profusely and is so flustered. “Sets the mood” by dimming the lights and turning on some music for you. Proceeds to just stand there with his hands over his eyes. He definitely isn’t peeking through the comically big gaps he’s left over both optics.
Brainstorm
- Gets you for dirt cheap. He takes one look at you and thinks ‘that little thing is a fleshy juice box full of scientific discovery”
- Gets attached when after watching him grow increasingly agitated, rewiring and fiddling with his latest invention to get it to turn on again, you realise you know exactly what to do. This is your time to shine. As any intelligent homosapien would, you walk up to it and kick it as hard as you can. It turns on immediately. He instantly imprints.
- Now when anything breaks, he summons you to do your thing (to varying success) documents as a point of significant interest that humans appear to have an instinctual inclination to attempt to fight metal objects. Fascinating.
- Publishes his findings on your behaviours but not to the result you would hope for. Anyone responding to said research claiming that this is clear evidence of sentience is shut down by him immediately. Complex problem solving and tool use? Learned behaviours to gain nutritional based rewards. Being given the middle finger and yelled at when he took something from you? Simple mimicry from observation. The time they tried to get him to touch their valve/spike? Attention seeking and bond building behaviour to secure protection and trust. Mocks sentience truthers by stating they’re simply anthropomorphising their pets like idiots.
- In a similar vein, his idea of enrichment is akin to psychological torture. Builds you complex puzzles and smugly states your inability to solve them is further proof of your inferior cognitive functioning. No other bot on the ship could solve these puzzles even held at gun point.
- Builds you a 3 story fully operational mini habsuite filled with automated gadgets and operation systems that probably break several intergalactic laws. Exhausted by the fact you prefer to sit in a box filled with packing peanuts to watch him work.
- Will you survive brainstorm? Probably not. Will this freak no doubt have found a way to clone you or your brain to find a way to keep bringing you back? Unfortunately for you probably.
- Let alone risk to yourself under his ownership, let’s not forget the list of intergalactic crimes you’ve unknowingly amassed. You pushed one of his stupid things off the table because he said no to more treats. It was a quantum destabiliser and you’ve just imploded countless other dimensions. The electronics you helped him wire? That caused the genocide of a sentient bird race.
- Would not lower himself to frag a mere animal. All your attempts to stimulate yourself or try to have him aid you are met with morbid fascination though and it has his evil science brain lit up like a Christmas tree.
Perceptor
- you were given to him by brainstorm as a white elephant gift. He thought it would be funny but lo and behold, now perceptor has gotten insanely attached.
- Researches everything extensively before allowing you to interact with it. Has read 17 different articles before handing you a blanket. Scanning the ph of your water 3 times (just to be sure) before you can drink it. Before any other bot is allowed to handle you, they have to fully decontaminate their servos under his supervision.
- Rewards every single thing you ever do with sugary treats. It’s definitely promoting bad habits (and weight gain). You yawn? “Look at my little human showing their denta to ward off predators. Good job!” you begin stealing little objects you can carry? “Ah you’re showing off your catching and hoarding instincts. Very good!” You bite a mech? “What a fearsome predator. Wonderful defensive display!” Will defend anything you ever do as you’re “completely innocent and just following your instincts.”
- Watches you problem solve. Recognises the complex patterns in your vocalisation. Fascinated by your testing of boundaries and pattern recognition. Although he never once thought you were stupid, the level of intelligence emerging before him leaves him deeply troubled. Sits on this information for now because he doesn’t even want to consider the implications.
- Tries to always offer you choice and autonomy when he can. Lets you pick what you want to wear, eat, do with your day. It at least suppresses the growing guilt gnawing at him. Regularly reminds himself that if he doesn’t keep you, you’d just become a pet to someone else. Someone who doesn’t see in you what he does.
- A bot of morals. Would never act on his own desires or impulses but would let you rub and grind on his body and servos to see to your needs. It’s simply your biological requirements to seek a mate. Gives you a treat when you finish.
Skids
- never intended to end up with a human. He probably saw you being kept in terrible conditions at a market off the ship. The shopkeeper saw him looking and warned him you bite, refuse food, and urinate maliciously. They try to entice him with better specimens but he’s always had a soft spot for damaged, overlooked things.
- At first he feels awkward having you around. Doesn’t really know what to do with you or himself. You recognise the familiar dissociative and despondent episodes he has. You begin trying to tug on his servo and call out to him redirect him. You know how it feels to be alone worthless and when he sees the recognition there in your eyes - just two truly beings seeing each other, you have stolen his spark.
- Who’s the pet in this relationship? It’s unclear to the crew.
- You have to become a little demanding. You learn to (loudly) let him know you’re hungry, thirsty, tired, bored and so on. he’s learned quickly to interpret these demands and will meet all of them without delay. He’s trying his best but he gets forgetful about how many needs you have. He initially had reminders set to ping him regularly but he’s delighted that you seem more than able to keep him on task.
- He responds well to pointing. You point at something? He’s on it. You point at a door? Doesn’t matter where it leads he’s carrying you in to look. You point at a bot? He’s holding you up to their face to get a better look (no matter how uncomfortable they look at the surprise human almost nose to nose with them.) you point at a sign? He’s immediately reading it out to you slowly pointing to each word as he says it.
- Expects everyone else to comply with the pecking order. If you fall asleep at the bar he’s loudly shushing anyone making a sound while glaring. If you want something someone has he expects them to hand it over to you. If you try to interact with another bot he’s expecting them to give you attention back and dote on you.
- If you want to play with his spike or valve who is he to say no? Want him to touch you and make you feel good? He’s at your beck and call.
- Would sacrifice himself in a blaze of glory before he ever let anything even moderately uncomfortable happen to you. You’ll live forever. He’ll just not let you die. It’s not allowed. Manifests your immortality through sheer willpower alone.
- It’s truly your world and everyone else is living in it. Skids wouldn’t have it any other way.
Cyclonus/tailgate
- you were purchased as an emotional support animal for tailgate after much begging.
- This guy carries you around under your arms like a cat and pats your head to calm down. Cyclonus grunts at you and acts like he wants nothing to do with you. Makes tailgate promise to not say a word when he walked in on him scratching your chin and hand feeding you while cooing that you’re such a well behaved little fleshling.
- Throws a blanket over your head when they want alone time. Originally, cyclonus would open the door and just dump you outside while pointing down telling you to “sit. Stay.” But tailgate vetoed that when you’d shrugged and gone wandering instead, leading to a full panic attack from the small bot.
- As a present, cyclonus buys him the equivalent to one of those front facing baby carriers to carry you in which delights him to no end because now his hands are free for more petting at all times.
- Tailgate approaches cyclonus with a 15 slide PowerPoint presentation around the health and psychological benefits of using his pet for stress relief through interfacing. Cyclonus can’t say no to him. he’s occupying in the cuck chair long before he decides to join. Bonus if you try throwing the same blanket he uses for you at him one time. You’re immediately shut in drawer for mandated time out.
Rung
- Got you because he was curious to study first hand the psychology and mental capacity of these trendy new companions everyone wants. You immediately cause a catastrophic existential crisis in the poor guy.
- He begins flooding the web with extensive research and hypothesis. His conclusion? Adamant and immediate sentience truther. Argues tirelessly on forums with other good faith researchers and ragebaters alike. Screaming internally that nobody, not even his some of his own crew, is taking him seriously when he has the proof. It’s right in front of him staring at him on his desk
- Plies you with enrichment activities and treats you like a roommate rather than a pet. Sounds out cybertronian words, desperately trying to teach you to speak. when you eventually manage to say his name back to him, he cries. When he reads a comment of someone calling it simple mimicry behaviour (probably brainstorm on an anon account lmao) he wants to puke.
- Rung recruits Perceptor, Swerve, Dift, Skids, and Riptide (megs would attend but he just can’t bring himself to endure the constant human fragger allegations. He’s wallowing in enough shame as it is. Background supporter) to create the ships human sentience movement. They bring their pets together to socialise and discuss new interesting things they’ve noticed about their behaviour. They’ve dubbed it “OCO”. It stands for opposable thumbs. Complex emotions. Obviously sentient.
- Lets you help him build his model planes. His spark melts at your giggles when he lets out sit inside them and “flies” you through the air in his hand.
- Can’t sleep at night, thinking about the scenario that his people will never accept the truth, and equally the scenario of what will happen if they do
- Takes you to therapy sessions with him. Lets you doodle on his datapad throughout and can’t help but make eye contact with you when the bots aren’t looking. You’re grimacing and pointing a thumb at the sobbing mech. You can’t even understand them and you still seem to pick up on the fact that everyone here is insane and/or deeply traumatised. Yeesh. He nods back solemnly.
- Will absolutely not let you engage inappropriately with him. He’s just too aware of the psychological impact and power imbalance at play. It will make him feel so guilty when you try, a reminder that you have been stripped from your natural habitat and ability to find an appropriate mate. Sources you human porn to meet your needs. Absolutely has not watched it, while fisting his spike or teasing his valve, imagining you in their place.
Drift
- Sees you in someone else’s poor care and initiates a covert surprise adoption.
- Frankly disgusted by the people arguing against human sentience. Believes all living beings are deeply spiritual and sentient in their own unique way. No being is lesser than another in his eyes.
- On this note, if someone refers to you as an “it” in front of him, he’s fighting the urge to throw down. Will take the moral high road, pick you up, and take his leave. Apologises to you profusely for their lack of enlightenment
- Treats you like a little oracle. You sneeze? It’s a sign for him to stop and reconsider his current course. You fall over or become unsettled? It’s an omen and he becomes hyper vigilant for the rest of the day. You’re at peace napping on or nearby him, looking content? Its a reminder he needs to act as you do, and take time to pause and reflect.
- Similarly he sees you as a deeply spiritual and emotionally intuitive creature. If you take a disliking to a bot you meet he takes your lead. You must be recognising something dark within them. If you take to a bot, similarly sees this as confirmation they have a pure spark and good intentions. Life is the a changeable sea and he’s using you to navigate it like a magic 8 ball.
- Melts when you join him, crossed legged when he meditates. Would give up a limb to know what you think about during this time. When you eventually get bored and start prodding and pestering him, accepts this is simply the time to stop. You’re so wise, little one.
- Tries teaching you mantras. Chuckles while petting you enthusiastically when you try babbling them back at him badly.
- Sees his impure thoughts and urges about you as a divine given test of character and virtue. It terrifies him that he feels like it’s one he’s losing. When he eventually gives in, changes his mind and decides you were given to him with this purpose included, as nothing has ever felt as holy and sacred as having you writhing under his touch.
Ultra Magnus
- Confiscated paperwork from another bot and that apparently contained the rights to your ownership. As per legal protocol, assumes responsibility and ownership of you. It’s the right thing to do.
- ever served in the military? Now you have.
- Your life runs to the minute now. It’s your 6 hourly mandated nutritional intake time, my pet. open wide. It’s your hourly mandated hydration time, human. Drink it all now. Out of your nest right now, human, for have reached your allocated 8 hours of recharge for this day. You’re not moving out of your litterbox until you go, little one. The manuals state you should experience the urge to urinate every 4 hours and you’re an hour late now.
- It truly comes from a good place. He’s read so many manuals on human care that he simply must follow them to a T, lest you succumb to a myriad of ailments.
- Creates a rota for the crew of allocated babysitting times. Refers to this as your mandated socialisation and enrichment periods. Everyone has to sign an extensive documentation stating they take full legal responsibility for your wellbeing and safety while under their care and failure to comply with the above terms will be punishable by law. (Whirl is not included in the rotations.)
- To his horror he has to update this document to state that any form of sexual stimulation of human companions is a serious, punishable offence, no matter how much the human tries to initiate.
- Sometimes, though, he pretends not to notice when you rub on and grind against his servos. It’s the only rule he’s set that he will turn a blind eye to himself because he’d rather it be him than someone else with less integrity
- Sneaks you extra treats and lets you nap without waking you up when nobody is looking. It’s his little secret and he knows you’ll not tell on him (even if you could). Wow you’re turning this guy into a true rebel (/s)
Chromedome/rewind
- rewind begged and begged to get you. Chromedome is worried it’s all going to be too much time and effort
- He quickly becomes inseparable from you much to rewinds amusement
- Rewind, much like swerve, has entire databanks dedicated to you. Doesn’t post you to the group as often as swerve because he loves having them all to himself (and chrome of course)
- Rewind ends up being the one to tend to your needs the most. It’s therapeutic for him to see you thriving and doing well and knowing it’s because of them. Chromedome gets insecure and competitive when it comes to who’s your “favourite”
- They let you watch/ read through archives and amuse yourself on their console. They obviously don’t think you understand anything you’re seeing and just enjoy the sounds and colours from the footage. Your intense interest in the cybertronian logs is perceived as simple curiously in the shapes of the words. When you begin to make a habit of copying down the words you’re reading onto the datapad. Rewind has to give regular reassurance to chrome that this is just simple mimicry and he shouldn’t read too much into it.
- let you chill on the berth when they frag, neither that put off by your presence. If you ever try to join them, they begrudgingly let you lie on whoever is on the bottom, in the middle of the metal sandwich. You’re soaking in the distracted petting when they’re not too lost in the moment. There’s absolutely been “accidental” slips into the wrong (tight, wet human) hole.
Ratchet
- didn’t want a human. Has no need for a human. Doesn’t like humans. Too busy to care for a human
- Acquires a human. No doubt you were found injured and brought to him like roadkill after being half smooshed under a ped.
- Decides immediately he liked you better comatose and held dead. Now you’re better and causing too much stress for what you’re worth.
- You try keeping him company during his long nights, always eventually falling asleep leaning on his arm or servo. It makes his spark ache. Stopped trying to put you somewhere more comfortable because how upset it makes you. Figures you’re lonely and he could use the company anyway, as long as you behave.
- You start passing him tools and things on his desk to be helpful. He doesn’t even bother to look down as he takes them and mumbles “thanks” while giving you a single pat on the head. It encourages you to keep doing it thinking you’re being helpful. You’re not. He grows frond of it anyway.
- Talks you through what he’s doing because it helps him think. You look like you’re enjoying listening to him speak anyway.
- Doesn’t let anyone hold you or babysit you. He’s seen first hand how irresponsible the bots round here can be. You’re much safer with him.
- Let’s you explore round the medbay and do your own thing, grumbling that your wellbeing is your own responsibility. He’s always watching you out the side of his eye though, ready to intervene.
- Begins reading studies on the anatomy and physiology of humans and other carbon based life forms similar to you for fun. He’s absolutely horrified how complex but inefficient our systems are.
- Sprays you with a bottle with like a cat any time you try to “mate” with him or rub on him. Threatens to castrate you (he won’t though dw)
So many of these are stupid I’m sorry. This is what nightshift does to the brain. I’ll proof read this when it’s not 10am and I’ve slept
I felt so cool name dropping 7/11. Hello yanks, it is I, a fellow American heh heh heh
Sorry for slow posting. Along with 12 hour shifts I’m currently packing to move and I’m this close 🤏 to losing it lmao. Getting railed by a giant robot would make it all better but I guess writing about it will have to suffice😔 what a cruel world this is. Truly.
Access to Earth’s internet was simply a way to learn about human culture and promote a more cultured and respectful crew. That’s what Swerve had said during his impassioned speech at the crews last meeting, anyway. As Rod searched for a place to watch Tokyo Drift (of course recommend by his dear friend sharing half the namesake) his monitor opened an entirely different pop-up. One to a streaming service full of human women in varying states of dress. He tells himself, while clicking the top link, that this was just innocent curiosity and cultural appreciation. After all, if there was apparently 173 other humans here, it had to be good. The girl was now filling half of his monitor, human text scrolling at the bottom almost too fast for him to keep track off. She was sitting on a berth so unlike the metal slabs he’s used to. It’s filled with blankets and pillows and it almost jarred him how different it was, and strange to be, in a sense, in a girls berthroom that he doesn’t know lightyears away on another planet. She’s so cute. Just as alien as soft as her surroundings. Her coverings seemed to just a pair of spectacularly tiny shorts, the thought crossed his mind of how funny they’d looked hooked over a servo, along with a tight cropped shirt. He knew he should click off and return to loading the movie up, that drift will ask him about it in the morning, but he stayed. He decided valiantly that he wasn’t going to engage or spend a penny, he was just here to observe like any good cultured mech would.
You grin, lip between your teeth as you read the comments of your regulars. A mix of respectful and nice to predatory and impatient.
“Hey MalibuMan, I’m good. Nice to see you again.”
A roll of the your eyes.
“Well, PsychicSam, the donation button is to the left of you want to see that.”
You’d fine tuned your streams over the time you’d done this now, and you’d learned how to handle pushy, rude clients. Garnering mods had helped out immensely and they often filtered out the worst of them anyway. The left box explained how donations work: they can donate certain amounts to make requests on the main stream, a smaller donation to spin a wheel of assigned dares, and large sums would buy them a private room for an allotted time.
A decently sized donation pings up and the robotic voice of the text-to-speech reads out the request.
“You have such a cute voice. Please say something sweet and tease us with it.”
The girl giggles and thanks them by name as she leans forward, so close to the screen he automatically vents to smell her. The disappointment in only smelling his own polish is cut short as she stares right into the camera and he swears she’s staring straight into him, and only him.
“Thank you so much. You’re so sweet, baby. I wish you were here with me right now. I bet you’d feel so big and have my legs shaking with the way you’d fill me up.”
He’d nodding, agreeing with every word as if spoken just for him, eyes glued to her as she leans back enough to let him see her hands cupping her breasts over her top. It’s so soft and he can’t believe the way the flesh gives under her hands. She ends with a breathy moan then a giggle and his hands are moving over the keyboard before he can even think.
You see the chat light up with emotes and praise, a new name catching your eye in mix.
HotRod: I hope you’re flexible because what I’m packing would have you making more of those noises if you could even handle it.
“Oh I know I could, hot shot. I’m sure I can provide the proof later, if you want it bad enough.”
You laugh, giving a wink to the camera. Most your viewers are probably Incel neets, or married, but hey, it’s fun to pretend they’re your type and play along.
Rods plates are heating and he can feel his spike sitting uncomfortably against his panels. Oh shit. He’s actually flirting with an alien organic girl and he’s so fucking into it. He doesn’t need to think about it for long before another donation is popping onto the screen. The crew wouldn’t even notice a little shanix.
“HotRod: let’s see just how flexible you really are. You know…for proof.”
You’re giggling again and it’s got him grinning. The grin turns slightly strained, optic almost twitching as you lay back, propping yourself on your elbows to keep looking at him. Your legs lift and then come up to your shoulders and holy shit why did nobody tell him humans can bend like this. His panels are sliding open at the imprint showing through your shorts, hinting at what’s under them. The thin strip of fabric is filled out by plump modesty panels(?) and he is revving unintentionally, imagining what the valve under there looks like. But you’re moving, rolling onto your front to show off an aft and thighs that jiggle and flex as you arch it into the air. Legs wide and impossibly far forward, he’s hissing, hand hovering at his spike as you wave it and the flesh and fat move. He needs to feel you. Needs to know how that would feel under his servos.
Moving again, you sit back at the edge of the bed, smiling at the camera.
“Proof enough?”
The chat is filled with more praise and you see his response shuffled into the mix.
HotRod: hm. I’d I need to see again, just to be sure. Maybe this time without the coverings?”
You snort before you can catch yourself at the weird terminology, but assume this must just not be his first language and you feel bad.
“Oh, well that’s going to cost more than that, I’m afraid, Hot Shot.”
More donations are rolling in and you’re already excited about the trip to the 7/11 you’re going to make after this. Instant noodles and sprite, here you come. You don’t make great money most nights, but you guess you really can’t complain. As of now, you’re holding a pink tentacle, kissing and licking along it while smiling pretty for the donator. Your top is long gone, leaving you in a red leather bra that’s doing double time to push the girls up. A private show request is rolling in from Malibu and you’re about to accept. He at least was one of the better clients on here. Never asked for anything too crazy and payed decently for a short show to end the night. Poor guy apparently didn’t need long.
Rod panics, hand leaving his spike as he sees the request pop up. No way you’re going to disappear and go spend time with some other guy. He quickly types out a message with another donation go make sure the voice will read it out so you don’t miss it.
HotRod: forget that. I’ll pay more.
You’re giggling again, shaking your head.
“Aw I’m sorry, Hot Shot. It’s usually first come first serve but I guess if you’re still around after, we can have fun?
He pouts, thinking fast. He needs to give you an offer you can’t refuse. Can’t have you leaving him this needy. Needs more. He transfers the funds over to the donation window and watches as you still, looking shocked at the screen. Judging by your expression, he wonders if maybe he overestimated the exchange rate but eh, it’ll be fine.
HotRod: what if I ask really nicely? *user has donated $20,000*
Holy shit. You keep rereading the donation attached. $20,000? This guy is either filthy rich or he’s trolling and the funds have already been requested back. You frown as you click to check. They’re confirmed and deposited.
“Wow. Okay. I see you. Sorry Malibu.”
Malibu sends a “:( no no get your bag” into the chat and you blow him a kiss. Inviting him to the private stream, you can’t help but feel kind of anxious. Who blows that kind of money for a private cam? A voice in the back of your head says nobody normal who wants an average show. You really hope this won’t be a weird fetish thing. You see him join and you try to get it together. You’ve totally got this. You’re cute. You’re funny. You got this.
“Hey. This isn’t a weird fetish thing, right? I’m not doing anything really weird. My stream rules still apply. I’m not doing anything with shit or that.” You don’t got this. What the hell was that? This dudes just given you more money than you’re talking about shit. He’s typing. You want to die.
HotRod: haha. What? People (he has to correct “humans”) do that? Why? Thats uh… really gross
Your face is red and you’re waving your hands frantically at him.
“Sorry. No filter. But I mean yeah? I agree though. I guess some people are just into gross stuff but I think it’s mostly about humiliating woman to be honest. You know? Give a woman a bunch of money to make her do disgusting stuff just because you can. You’ve really never heard of that?” This is going to haunt you forever. Stop talking about shit. You resist the urge to bang your head on the desk to fix whatever is wrong with you. Why isn’t he saying anything? He’s typing but nothing is coming through. He’s totally going to ask for his money back isn’t he?
Rod reads that and frowns. Knows his own race can be cruel in the same ways but the thought of anyone wanting to humiliate you for their own enjoyment has his plating clamping to his form defensively.
HotRod: oh. I guess I understand. I promise I’d never want to do that to you. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I want you to have fun too.
HotRod: does this thing have voice chat? I want to be able to speak to you.
You hesitate. You never usually enable that for private sessions. It’s always easier to play along when you don’t have to hear them, you can just imagine whatever you want them to be on the other end, and it’s not like they’re usually paying enough to really complain anyway. But for that kind of money? You guess you can bend your own rules this once.
“Yo. It’s working? You can hear me?”
Oh god. He sounds hot.
“Yeah. I can hear you Hot Shot.”
You hear him laugh at your given nickname. And it has your stomach fluttering.
“Look. Before anything else, I just want to say that I’d never want you to do anything you don’t enjoy. I want you to have fun with me. Forget the money. Let’s just have a good time, yeah?”
You can’t help the sigh of relief at his words and you rub the back of your neck, sheepish.
“Aw. That’s sweet of you. Sorry about, you know, the whole shit thing. Can we start over and pretend that didn’t happen?”
“Sure. It’s going to be harder if you keep bringing it up though. Please stop.”
He doesn’t sound mad, but you can hear the wince in his voice filtering with a metallic twang through the speakers. It has you laughing, and not the cute performative laugh he’s been watching all evening.
“Sorry. So…HotRod, huh? You into cars?”
It’s his turn to laugh.
“Yeah I guess you could say that. Spend so much time with them, I sometimes question if I’m half car or something.”
Oh ok. It’s giving weird rich guy humour but you’re weirdly into it, especially coming from that voice.
“Oh cool. I have a beat up Ford out back I just know would blow your mind.”
Your smile falters a bit as you remember that he didn’t pay 20 grand to listen to you ramble out small talk.
“Anyway. You’re the one in charge. So…what do you want to see me do? I’m all yours.”
The words have his plating flaring and his spike is back at attention.
“Damn, I could listen to you say that all night. Can I see you? Without the coverings? Not that I don’t like them or anything, reds totally your colour I just…”
There’s the weird lingo again. You bite your lip and nod, cutting off his rambling. The grin you’re giving him as you reach behind your back is entirely wicked and he wants to imprint it into his processor forever. Your bra comes off, and he is so fascinated by the mounds of flesh underneath. They’re softer than the rest of you and every breath and movement you make has them moving. He’d read about the mounds of fat female, and sometimes males, carry on their chests. Had seen them in some of the movies swerve made them watch but he felt he was truly seeing them for the first time.
Then you’re moving again and his gaze is torn from them to your hips as you lay back and begin to shimmy down your shorts, leaving you in a pair of tiny lacy panties. You kick them from the foot they’re dangling from and your knees are pulled up again like before. He’s venting hard to cool down his form, hand squeezing the base of his spike, eyes fixed on the tiny triangle of material hiding your valve from him.
“You want me to take them off too? Hot Shot?”
He’s so worried his voice is going to crack.
“Yes. Please. I need to see.”
You giggle at his words, hands moving to the band around your hips.
“You don’t need to beg me, baby. You’re calling the shots. Unless you want to. I mean, if that’s your thing then that’s okay.”
You’re peeling them off, and he vents as he notices they’re wet and sticking to you as you do.
He doesn’t know what he expected but nothing could have been this good. Your modestly panels are made up of two plump lips and you use your fingers to separate them without him even needing to ask. Between lies a nub like their own nodes and the tiny pink valve that is fluttering around nothing.
You try not to grow self conscious at the silence.
“You likely, Mr Hot Rod?”
A sound like a fan and motor from his end.
“Yes. I likely. I really really likey. Call me Rod.”
He throws the last part in like an afterthought and you can hear the strain in his voice.
You’re still grinning at him, one hand coming to cup the underside of your tit and the other shifts to stop spreading yourself, a finger dipping inside. You let out a gasp and he’s making a noise like a growl.
“Frag. Yes. Touch your breasts and valve. Show me what feels good.”
Your brow quirks again at the word choices, reminding yourself that rich people are weird and it doesn’t matter when he’s sounding so turned on from just seeing you naked. You can look past some quirks.
You pinch at a nipple, letting your finger rock and curl inside yourself as you let out a moan.
“Fuck, Rod. I wish it your hands touching me. I bet you’d make me feel so good.”
His hand is rocking along his spike, and his head falls back with a hard vent at that.
“Primus. I need to feel you. I want to feel how soft you are. You look so tight. I doubt you could even fit me inside.”
You bite your lip, hips rocking.
“Hey, don’t forget. I’m real flexible. I think I’d find a way. Want to test your theory? I have a lot of toys so I’m sure we can find something comparable to test your theory.”
He watches as you stop touching yourself and begin to pull out different toys, laying them out. You grin at him again and hold up one that resembles a realistic human spike. Way too small and nothing like his own throbbing in his servo.
“Nah. The one to the left.”
His tone is desperate and you raise an eyebrow, picking up the blue tentacle even bigger than the one you’d had on camera earlier. It’s almost 10 inches with a thick knot on the base.
“If this is what you’ve got in your pants can you send an engagement ring as your next donation.”
You joke, giggling. Sure you’d met some guys with big egos but this was a new one. Rod’s spike throbs again. You’re joking about becoming his conjux because you’re so impressed with his spike? The general shape isn’t far off but he is confident he’s bigger.
You’re coating it with a generous amount of lube, preparing yourself mentally for having it inside of you. It’s so big you usually don’t play with it much but you were not about to chicken out now.
“Earth to Roddy. How do you want me to take this, then? I can bend over, lay back for you, or I can ride it?”
“On top. I want you on top. I want to see you sink down onto it. I want to see you take all of it.”
Rod answers so fast you barely have time to finish your question. He clearly had more faith in you than you have in yourself, but you wink and tell him you got it. As you ease down onto the tapered tip, he fists his own head, easing his hand down at the same speed you’re sinking further onto it. Imagining you’re on his lap, taking him instead.
“Hnnng. Shit. It’s so fucking big” you whine, wiggling your hips as you pause to adjust. His vents match your breaths and he holds his fist still, so achingly high up on his shaft.
“I know you can take more, beautiful. For me, please.”
Your core clenches and your eyes flick back to your camera as you pant, hands coming to squeeze your tits. Tilting your hips, you ease further down until you feel the tip nudging against your womb and you mewl, eyes rolling back. The only part left outside of you is the fat knot at the base and the overwhelming stretch is drowning out any straight forward thinking.
“Shit, Rod. I can feel it against my womb. I’m so full, it’s stretching me out so good.”
“Yessss. I’m stretching you out so good. You’re taking me so well”. He’s hissing back. Knows you’d sound just as pretty on his spike. Swears he can feel you strangling the life out of it with your human valve. You’re lifting your hips to slide back up and he opens his mouth to protest just as you snap your hips, sinking back down. Your tongue is hanging out over your pretty lips, and he’s mind is racing to imagine what you’d feel like slobbering over, and lapping at him. Slag. He can’t remember the last time he’s been this turned on. Needs you. Needs to feel it. His hand isn’t enough.
You’re pretty sure you’re drooling now. You would be embarrassed but you feel too good to care how stupid you look. You hear that weird rumbling growl over the speakers along with rhythmic grunting. You wonder if his arm is hitting his desk, the grunts mixed with a metallic thumps.
“Primus. You need to take the knot. I’ll give you everything. I’ll make you my conjux and give you the best ring you’ve ever seen just please. Take it take it take it.” He’s panting to you. So desperate.
Rubbing furiously at your clit, fingers sliding on all the juices and lube slicking you and dribbling onto the sheets below. You squeeze your eyes shut, hissing as you force yourself against the bulge, ending in an embarrassing wail as it pops inside of you and you’re body shudders, legs shaking hard as you cum around it.
Rod’s own hand clenches around the knot that’s formed on his own spike. An embarrassment if anyone was to know, but nobody is here but you, and watching you shake, eyes rolled to the back of your head as you cum hard just for him. hips thrusting desperately, he groans loudly as his fluids spurt and leak over his clenched thighs.
“I think I’m stuck. Hey Rod. You going to foot my medical bill if I can’t get this thing out of me?”
Through the haze, he looks back to his screen at the sound of your breathy voice. You’re on your back, both hands trying to pull his spike the toy out of you. He rumbles a chuckle before he can worry about offending you.
“Don’t laugh! I came so hard I can’t unclench. It’s really stuck. I’m not kidding.”
He bites his lip, grinning.
“Hey, thats what a knots for. You could just go to sleep like that and keep it nice and warm inside you.”
He cackles when you flop flat on your back, sticking a middle finger up at him.
“Ok, ok. Deserved. I could always stick around and chat until you’ve relaxed and can free yourself of what I think seems like a wonderful fate. I wouldn’t mind being locked deep inside of you overnight.”
You flush and snort.
“You’re not helping!”
“Well, I can just talk to you. Don’t worry I won’t woo you further, as difficult as it may be because courting cute girls on the internet seems to be a natural talent of him.”
You lean up at glare at the camera, eyebrow raised.
“So anyway. You know I was trying to watch Tokyo drift before this? Rude of you to hijack my movie plans by possessing my computer screen.”
“Oh god. You clicked the pop-up. I’m praying for your pc. You probably have 10 viruses now. Good movie though.”
He has no clue what you’re talking about.
“Heh. Well, you could at least give me a quick rundown so I don’t have to admit to my friend that this is how I spent my night when he asks in the morning.”
You’re smiling at him, so sweet, and your brow knits as you try to think.
“Oh, uh. Cars in Japan. They race a bunch. The guy learns to drift. It’s been a while since I watched it.”
He’s nodding even though you can’t see him. His optics twitch as he watches you finally pull the toy free, processor almost rebooting at the sight of your valve fluttering and gaped from it. Thinking again about it being his spike suddenly leaving you empty.
“What are you going to do now?”
Doesn’t know why he’s asking. Desperate to keep you here.
“After that? Dude…I was going to go to the store but I might just pass out instead.”
“Nah. You should go get yourself some nutritional intake and hydrate. Look after yourself first. I mean, for me. Because I’m telling you to. Because I paid a lot of money. That’s why.”
You’re laughing for him again and he’s smiling like an idiot.
“Well, Rod. Think you’ll come back? I wouldn’t mind doing this again.”
He’s answering too eagerly.
“For sure. How soon before we can do this again?”
You shrug, stretching and beginning to pull your underwear back on.
“Whenever. I’m at your beck and call, Hot Shot.”
You glance up hearing a notification ping and you fall back onto your back, laughing hysterically, feeling manic, as you read it.
HotRod: how about as soon as you’re back from the shop?:) *user has donated $20,000*
Bonus:
Rod groans, rolling over on his berth. His datapad dinging.
He lifts it up, willing his tired optics to focus.
Drift (1): how was the movie?:)
LL Crew (57) : yup. He’s right. Just tried to make a trade for just ONE cube of Energon and it’s bounced….
Mega-Bonerkiller (1): Rodimus. Where is all of the crew funds?
He groans and rolls back over. This is a problem for future Rod.
AAAAH I just wanted to say how much I love reading your human pet AU. I love the trope of humans just being looked at as nothing more than a stray cat by the cybertronians. Do you think you'd write more for the pet au? 👀 When i read your Sideswipe fic I couldnt stop laughing thinking of reader just being like -
Just accepting this big mechanical being wants to do some heavy petting
Cackling fr fr. I mean ngl I can’t even blame them because real shit 💀sorry it took me forever to reply to this. I actually typed this out so many times but kept forgetting to save the drafts because I’m dumb so tumblr kept eating them. This happened a sickening amount of times and I only have myself to blame. Victim of the day is Hound.
Hound x reader pet AU - internet Famous
Warnings: vomiting in the first part for my emetophobia besties. Some valveplug content.
General
- he adopts a human because he’s a good guy like that. Immediately becomes infatuated with the weird fleshy thing and its home planet. Most of the information out there is questionable at best but I won’t tell him if you don’t
- such a doting, soft guy. Loves his little squish and would do anything for them. Absolutely refuses to use any cage or terrarium as he thinks free roaming is the only way to go.
- Starts a vlog channel to show off his fleshling and provide educational content about them to prove how cool they are to others. It starts as a tiny channel only followed by his friends (Tailgate, Bee, and begrudgingly Ironhide) after he annoys them enough to do so.
- Each video is recorded while he narrates their behaviours and explains about their species. Typically in the soft David Attenborough style whisper as to not startle them or influence their actions. When he gets too excited and into it, it turns into a Steve Irwin style excited rambling.
- The channel eventually blows up after one particular video gets elevated to meme status on the cybertronian web. He unintentionally becomes pseudo famous the more he posts, people loving to turn his content into memes and shitposts. He doesn’t know how he feels about it, initially feeling like he’s being made fun of. Trailbreaker convinces him that people just enjoy his posts and not worry too much about it. He should just enjoy it. He learns to, embracing it after a while. He’s still providing educational content and people are watching and learning about humans through it so let them have their fun.
The first video to blow up and gain attention:
- Hound takes you out in his alt mode for ‘enrichment’. He’s speeding through Iacon’s wilderness, hitting every bump and pothole. The camera is trained on you sitting in his drivers seat, white knuckling his interior, nails digging into his door and seat.
- “See how they dig their little claws into my interior? That stems from their social nature as deeply bonded back animals. They’re holding onto me to designate me as part of their pack. Isn’t that just the cutest?”
- His voice is proud and adoring. The camera zooms in on their pale face, growing more sickly green with each passing second. They’re staring intently out the windows, trying to keep down the rising bile with each sharp turn and jolt.
- “Did you guys know that humans come from a class 12 death planet? The environment and fauna are so hostile that it’s nothing short of a miracle these tiny little dudes can survive it. Evolutionary perfection! I wonder what this little one is thinking of our own wilderness? See how they scan vigilantly for any threats around? Oh boy!-“
- the next words are interrupted with silence as they projectile vomit all over themselves and the dash. He rolls to a stop, stunned, as they claw at the door handle, trying to stop the next wave. They inevitably hose his wheel and dash again before the footage cuts
- The part 2 is Hound scrubbing a sulking human who looks very sorry for itself, sitting in a dish of water.
- “So I looked it up on the way home and apparently some Earth creatures regurgitate their tank content in order to feed their young and close ones. Isn’t that interesting? Perhaps my little human thought I looked hungry, or maybe they were trying to provide sustenance for their pack. Thanks little fella, I appreciate the thoughtfulness.”
- the video circulates, going viral at lightspeed. The comments are immediately flooded with shitposts and memes.
- The clip of his excited “oh boy!” is clipped over and commented under any videos of something unexpectedly gross and bad happening.
- After the follow up, a trend starts where bots will comment things like “average Hound dinner” or “Succulent human cuisine” under any videos/images of gross things like waste, bodily fluids, or filth.
Another gem that makes it rounds:
- His human has taken his polishing rag (it’s warm and smells like him) and doesn’t want to give it back to be washed. Queue hound filming as they run around his suite like a gremlin shouting up at him looking grumpy (again).
- He is so cautious of stepping on them with them being so tiny that he’s carefully tiptoeing around after them at a snails pace.
- “It seems the human has claimed this cloth as their own. Humans, by nature, like to hoard and are territorial so I need to approach this with extreme caution to safeguard the our pack bond. One wrong step could spell disaster.”
- despite the effort they’re making to escape him, with the size difference, he’s easily able to keep up with slow ballerina steps. He could easily catch them but is trying to avoid hurting them or breaking their trust by just snatching them up.
- “Observe my carefully practiced herding techniques. Any minute now, my little companion will be outwitted and I will have retrieved their treasure.”
- the video ends up being 8 parts of the same thing. The human is growing sweatier and less agitated as they lose their energy. In the 9th part, it’s changed to Hound laying on his chassis, digits holding one end of the cloth while the human pouts, leaning their entire weight to tug on the opposite end. His other servo comes into view waving a nutrient bar at them before sliding across the floor to their feet.
- “As you can see, the human is unwilling to give up their claim without an adequate offering in return. I am attempting to bargain with them through the offer of nutritional replacement of equal value.”
- the camera is smacked towards the ceiling as the human lets go with one hand to pick it up, lobbing it at his helm and missing.
- “Oh boy! What an impressive display of dominance. It seems my exchange has been declined and I must proceed with caution, lest they become hostile.”
- The next clip shows their human smug and happy, sitting on a mountain of new rags, munching on treats they’re digging out of the bag, the same size as them at their feet. Some toys and tools are piled around for good measure.
- “and finally, the exchanging of goods ritual has been a success. My human drives a hard bargain, but the key to any heated human interaction is to offer submission, and a calm steady presence. Eventually they’ll always come around. See, no need for raised voices or grabby servos here.”
- Yet again it’s an internet gold mine. The video is reposted so many times, some with intense chase music and some with pre existing sounds like the already memed clip of Optimus Prime rallying his troops to “give chase to the enemy. No matter for fast they go or hard they fight know we will be victorious!”
- Many bots recreate the first clip, filming down at their friends to make them look smaller as they look back up at the camera acting frantic while miming running at full tilt then it clips to the other friend from a low angle to exaggerate their size as they dance and tip-toe around.
- “I must proceed with caution lest they become hostile” becomes another loved clip to overlay on other videos.
- the comments are yet again a goldmine.
The most recent posts from his channel:
- Hound is ducked behind some storage crates (he keeps telling himself he’ll unpack them), filming over the top as his human grinds on one of his buffing cloths rolled up between their legs on top of his berth.
- “How fascinating to observe. The human has selected a scented item for comfort and self soothing. This is a rarely witnessed private ritual that humans rarely allow others to observe but it is a perfectly natural part of their evolutionary drive. Here the human interfaces with a soft item which smells of their pack in hopes of producing an offspring.” He stage whispers to stay hidden. Their human turns to frown in his direction, their movements freezing.
- “Ah. We’ve been spotted. The human is now pausing to assess for danger, usually at their most vulnerable when mating back on their planet.”
- The human keeps staring at his optics blinking over the crates, returning to their activities, deciding they care more about finishing than being embarrassed right now. Privacy was a distant memory these days anyway.
- “wow. What an honour. The human is displaying their level of trust in me, trusting me to keep watch for danger while they continue their business, as they would trust their own in the wilds. I shall return their faith by playing the role of protector and maintaining a vigilant observation of their sorroundings.”
- He makes a dramatic show of crawling around the room and looking around, searching under boxes and scanning the surroundings before giving them a thumbs up. They awkwardly blink back at him before returning the gesture. He is filled with glee and can’t help himself as he comes to the bed, standing over his human with a soft smile, petting their head with a digit. The human clearly takes this as an invitation. They’re looking up at him as they lean toward and poke his interface panel. They know what’s in there, had spied on him touching himself at night and they want to see.
“Wow. Oh boy. They seem to be seeking me as a mate. Perhaps an unfortunate consequence of being removed from their natural habitat. I must approach this delicately. They are built to be very sensitive to social rejection”
- he goes rigid when they place their hands on the seam and begin to tug, trying to pry the plates open. Mortified when the plates apparently are quite happy to begin opening and he’s trying not to think about it while his own hands are pushing against them to keep them shut.
“Wow. Oh boy. Geez. Humans sure are strong, guys. They’re managing to force open my panels completely against my will. Impressive and terrifying all at once.”
- The words are flustered and strained and he doesn’t acknowledge the voice crack as his panels push against his straining hands. 100% sure he’s playing it off convincingly. The human lets out a pleased sound, arm diving through the widening crack before them and Hound lets out a yelp, cutting the camera.
- The follow up is Hound explaining that he did some research and human interfacing is actually just a form of pack bonding. It’s a very important part of socialisation and often practiced freely and casually between fertile humans. There’s no reason he’s explaining this. Just sharing his knowledge. Responds to a comment asking why he felt the need to explain this after the last video with a defensive rant that he is simply educating other mechs and he will not stand for any further implications or accusations. Angry Hound is activated, calling everyone degenerates and demanding they respect his humans dignity and understand his content as a documentation of their instincts and behaviours. Doesn’t realise until after posting that his little guy is humping away on his ped in view.
- “I will not stand for any further implications!” Becomes a trending sound.
- “Wow. Oh boy. Geez” becomes just as popular and is used for any videos of people being caught in compromising or embarrassing situations
- New meme trend is bots filming themselves army crawling and rolling around on the floor “protecting” their confused human pets
- The response anyone has now when being judged for their sexual activity is simply “hands strong. Panels weak.”
Bonus:
- Bee, Sides, Rod, and Blurr are big fans. Partake in every trend and active in all the comments. Living for the memes.
- Trailbreaker is just happy his buddy is happy. Hound is desperately trying to convince him to get his own human so they can collab. He’s convinced that’s a terrible idea.
- Ironhide would say the videos are stupid but he sits at night watching every single one. He’s secretly addicted. He doesn’t know why
- Hound’s ideas a of enrichment is all done in the best of heart but are questionable at best. After learning humans are predators and distance hunters, he tries to recreate their hunting drive by driving them into the middle of nowhere and (gently) kicking them out of his alt mode. He rolls just in front, far enough they can’t reach the door handle to climb back in and are forced to chase him around. If they cry or get too angry he’ll fold and let them back in.
Ough an evil part of me is enamored with the human pets au and the dynamics, I just have to ask for any thoughts of yours about various decepticons' dynamics with their pets (especially when it comes to the Bad human owners🫣), I find the direction on comparing humans more to exotics intriguing
Decepticons x their human pets
Here you go. Probably missed some really obvious bots and I feel some I included are maybe random but I did it because I just love them your honour 🥺. Separated soundwave and Megatron by iteration because I felt it impacted their answers enough. also idk why my brain, which is always churning out the most heinous content all the time chose to start up the rusty dusty “soft” generator for some of these but we roll
Warnings: abuse, dub/noncon, mentions of death
Megatron (IDW) - going with a “on the path to redemption” take here. He’s slaughtered so many, bots and organics alike through the war. When a human somehow appears on the lost light (looking at you, brainstorm…Probably) he initially would stay far away. Then he sees how enamoured Rod is with the organic, fawning and trying to claim them as his and that’s what settles it. Claiming you as his pet instead is solely an act of pettiness at first, something just to spite his annoying co-captain. Doesn’t know what to do with you at first and avoids you. Feels awkward even in his own berth with you just chilling there, glaring at him. I think it would change when he sees some fight in you. When your fear and despondence turns to rage, screaming while flinging anything you can lift at him, his heart would swell and he’d happily take the role of your giant metal guard dog. Probably refers to you as the most fearsome/competent warrior on the ship. Carries you everywhere. You’re in every meeting, you’re sitting on the bar while he drinks, he vents and processes things out loud, and trauma dumps to you. Any chirp or noise you make back would be met with “exactly what I was thinking, little one. You’re too smart for your own good.” Absolutely gets cuteness aggression. He just wants to put you in his mouth, and shake you like a dog toy. Sometimes when holding you, he’s fighting the urge to just squeeze you into paste. Will gently and pat your head put you down with a strained expression, servos clenching. Indulges those needs but never enough to really harm you, just terrify you. Definitely has impure non Christian thoughts about you. Considered speaking to Rung about it because something must be truly deeply wrong with him, you know, aside from all the other stuff. Takes care of his urges alone. Regularly. You would need to put the green light on. Literally just bend over and present for him and all that steely self control he’s practiced is out the airlock. Deem him a degenerate, he’s too deep in human valve to care anymore (and proud about it). Takes good care of you and feeds off your happiness. Begins to see it as a tiny redemption in its own right. Knowing the old him would have smeared you under his ped and smiled keeps him up at night and the only thing to calm him down in cuddling his emotional support human.
Megatron (tfp) - and on the opposite end, we have this guy. Aware humans are sentient. Could not care less. Having you is just another way for this bastard to assert absolute control over another being, and making it one too powerless to fight back means he can relax and enjoy himself. This is his version of self care. His aim is to bring you just to the point of breaking completely then bring you back enough to do it again. Tortures you and makes you hate him and loves that fury but just when you’re close to giving up and losing any spark you have, starts showering you with softness and gifts and attention. Enough to make you feel even a safety, then when you start to trust him, flips it again. Loves you can’t survive without him, and mockingly telling you that if you really cared for your own life or if you truly hated him enough you’d have found a way to kill him. The fact you haven’t proves how inferior and dependant you are (regardles of if you understand his words or not). Tells himself that touching and fragging you is just another act of humiliation and dominance over you, and refuses to dwell on how much he enjoys doing it. Only way you’ll be dying is if you find a way to do it yourself he can’t reverse.
Megatron (tfo) - sorry soft megs again. Oh my god I’d pay to be this guys pet. During the mining days, probably bought you because he’s lonely and wanted just one thing to call his own. Blew his whole pay check like an idiot. Will do it again. Spends more on you than on himself. Super embarrassed that he touches himself to the thought of you but would not cross that line no matter how much you try to make it clear to want him to because he’s a bot of honour and he cares too much to do anything that could be seen as harmful to you. Adamant to everyone around him that you’re just as intelligent as bots though, and although he can’t understand you tells everyone that he knows you would have so many interesting things to say if you could. After the uprising though he’d be so lonely and angry. Not at you, of course. You’re his only friend. The only one he can trust, even if you’re just a pet to everyone else. Would give in at this point and cross that line. He just needs comfort and you’re so soft and small and he can take…so he will. You’re still his emotional support human and he’d do anything to care for and protect you. If you reject him or go cold on him though, he’s probably killing you in a fit of anger he’ll spend the rest of his life regretting.
Starscream - gets you initially to have something to own he can torment. Hates you. Hates having to do anything for you. Hates everything about you. if anyone asks why he got you in the first place, he’ll tell them to mind their own business. He’s literally a cat with a mouse. If anyone else even laid a finger on you though, or even said a word about you, suddenly he’d be your knight in shining plates. Very (weirdly) protective. Only he gets to make you miserable. It probably stems from having been treated so badly for so long that in those rare moments he sees himself in you. Like Knock Out, would come to see you as almost an extension of himself. Would want to keep you well to show he’s better at caring for a pet than any of these other idiots. Would be adamant his pet is superior because it’s his. Would see using you as his right because you’re his pet and he decides what he does with you and nobody can tell him any different.
Thundercracker - absolutely went out of his way to acquire you. Thinks you’re just the coolest. Definitely didn’t get you because he’s a huge exophile. Haha nope. Has no doubt in his mind that you’re sentient and would argue this fact with anyone and everyone. He’d do anything to make you happy. Loves seeing you laugh and smile. Always petting and holding you close. Keeps you secret as long as he can because he’s scared of his trine hurting you, accidentally or just to fuck with him. Researches as much human enrichment and care as he can. Wants you to enjoy it when he touches or plays with you and lets you take the lead to ensure he doesn’t feel like he’s forcing or using you. He would begin to see you as an equal in a lot of ways, even if it scares him.
Skywarp - absolutely buys you as a pleasure pet. Did it more for the memes. He’s so loud about it and loves going into great detail about what he’s done to you, made you do, and all the fun things about your body. Does it just to make people uncomfortable and loves every second of it. Torments thundercracker with you. “Nah they can totally drink energon. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I feel this is one of the mechs you are absolutely dying in a really stupid way with. He probably went flying with you just to hear your scream and forgot to supply you with oxygen in there. Oops.
Soundwave (IDW) - absolutely paying anything asked for the ability to be this guys pet btw. small. Cute. Staring back at him. Yep. You’re going in the cassette compartment. big guy just likes small things and has an itch to collect them like Pokémon. He’s sold, which means you’ll survive. That said, Your happiness depends on winning the favour of the cassettes more than SW. they wouldn’t kill you since it would be a betrayal of his trust, but their ability to make your life hell is going to be your biggest concern if you don’t win their favour or do something to make them dislike you. Their favour can probably be won through either a) also convincing them you’re cute and to be protected b) establishing your dominance in the pecking order. You’ll be at the bottom, but showing you’re useful in some way or at least having guts to defend yourself from any bullying from them would earn you enough respect for them not to hate you c) getting them also human valve pilled. I foresee that you would be free to use by both SW and his cassettes and your care would be shared too under his command (even if they complain or take it out on you) let’s be honest. Make ravage like you and you’re living the best life. Fulfill the above steps and you’re living the pet dream. You’ll never be lonely again, anything you want you have. You’re the resident squishy mascot to this team.
Soundwave (tfp) - obsessive little voyeur freak. Wanted you. Took you. Has you forever now. This is less of a “human pet” situation and more of a “human zoo” one. Watches you remotely all the time. Introduces you to new situations and gifts just to watch your reactions. It would take a long time for him to even want to touch you but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love watching you touch yourself when you think you’re alone. Has every second of it stored for easy access. Similarly just so many close ups of every expression. Hundreds and hundreds of them. Smiling, crying, cumming, sleeping, grumpy, exited. You name it he has it. Will flick through the compendium whenever the urge hits. Flashes them on his visor when he wants to show you them. Entire databank of your voice, both words and phrases, and plays them back to you and himself. Sometimes just to hear them and sometimes in an attempt to communicate. The accuracy of his attempts and how much you pick up on the meanings vary in success. When he is requesting you put on a show for him, countless images of your face, eyes rolled and mouth open flash on his visor, as your own voice echos from him. A mix of moans and whimpers from your previous times pleasuring yourself or your previous words to him at these times. “Please. Fuck yes. You want me to finger myself for you? Fuck yes. I’m Cumming.” It’s disconcerting but kind of hot. As he stares down at you expectantly. Takes good care of you, even if he doesn’t understand your need for social interaction. When it finally breaks you, he’ll feel guilty. Starts sending Laserbeak to keep you company during downtime. That’s your new best and only other friend. will let you sit on the console while he works, as long as you behave. Absently touches and lets you with the tendrils to help him concentrate.
Soundwave (ES) - this guy. He’s got so so much rage towards those tiny organics. After Megatron’s betrayal and Rumbles fate this guy is fully spiralling and in his doomer era. Unlike previously, your survival almost entirely relies on the cassettes wanting you around and alive. He doesn’t want to hurt them more than he has, and he needs their loyalty so would tolerate their new pet. It doesn’t mean he won’t torment and use you as an outlet for all his hate though. If you want any softness or attention, it’s coming from them not him.
Shockwave - big blinker is lonely. Soundwave probably got you for him. Similar to Soundwave in terms of the human zoo. Likes to study you. Likes to see you interact with things and feeds of your emotions, the stronger the better. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter. He just needs to see you feel. It’s fascinating. Cuck owner. Would like to see you get used by other mechs, or even acquire you a little mate. Through the whole thing he’s just watching your vital readings, studying the faces and noises you make in tandem with your heart rate and blood pressure fluctuating.
Tarn - Pet probably dragged you in. Nobody knows where he found you and you start as Pets pet. Even lower than a pet. Your existence is largely ignored and even having your basic survival needs met as a battle. Tarn likes survivors though, and would be keeping an eye. Watching you navigate this new world you’ve found yourself in. Loves putting you in awful situations just to see what you’ll do. Seeing the refusal to die and the fight behind you. It would turn him on so much and that’s very confusing and infuriating to him. Would absolutely show no concern about how much pain he causes or how much you can physically handle when trying to force himself inside your tiny valve. If you want to live, you’ll live. You probably won’t :(
Knock Out/Breakdown (tfp) - I can see this going one of two ways. Either Knock Out acquired you because you’re built like a tiny pleasure bot and are just too cute, or breakdown got you on a whim. Knock Out would see you both as a glorified lab rat, and a well bred show dog. Experiments on you, researches your physical limits, and has definitely handled parts of you that never should be outside your body. You’d also be a source of weird pride though. Dresses you up and shows you off. Argues with anyone that will listen that of course his pet is better than anyone else’s and would win any judging you were entered in. Breakdown though, thinks you’re just a nifty little guy. I’ve seen it said and agree he gives heavy “dad who didn’t want the cat” energy. Pets and scritches you while cooing about how you’re such a “tiny fleshy little freak. Yes you are. Dumb little squishy organic. Can’t even keep yourself alive without us.” In baby voice. Knock Out has no hesitation to use you sexually at all. It’s not even a question in his mind. Breakdown would feel a bit weird about it but ultimately the curiosity and, as a result, pleasure he gains would override any of that.
Swindle - absolutely planned to sell you on for double the price. Was going to ‘upgrade’ you for the market. training you to take bigger and bigger things inside of you and teaching you how to properly behave and pleasure his kind (using himself as the practice dummy of course). You were just too good at it, and now it’s been months but you’re still here. You’ve seen so many others come and be sold on. You’re always waiting for the bot to come along with enough money to change his mind. At least he’s well stocked in all kinds of human supplies.
Spinister - needed you because he thinks you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen. It’s a bonus (in terms of your survival chances) that you’re so tiny and harmless that you’ll never make him feel under threat. Loves dressing up like a Barbie. Likes singing to you and pinching your tiny arms to make you “dance” along. Another one who has no hesitation or embarrassment about using you for pleasure. Surprisingly soft and gentle when he does. Unfortunately you’re probably dying in a spectacularly stupid way but to his credit it’s definitely the fault of one of the other scavengers and his rage will absolutely know no bounds. They try to get him a new pet after which he rejects and now it’s just there and nobody knows what to do with it. They reluctantly share custody.
Barricade - probably found you in the house of some other mech. Sees you staring at your precious owner dead on the floor. He doesn’t know why he took you and he tells himself he regrets it. Would never admit, even to himself, but he’s lonely and he enjoys having the company of just one living thing not that can’t double-cross or kill him. Probably pretty neglectful. Feels bad when he remembers he’s not given you water or food in a few days. Recognises some part of himself in your hollow, cold eyes. Tells you things simply because he enjoys that you can’t understand his words, let alone repeat them. When he inevitably notices you touching yourself, would watch. Sometimes popping you on the desk in front of him or lays down with you on his chassis. Something about it brings him comfort. Would touch himself too sometimes. tells himself it’s not weird.
Flatline - you probably crawl out the compartment of some (now dead) mech he was operating on and with a sigh, he guesses he has a human now. Such a soft guy, really. Teaches you advanced physiology and medicine and smiles every time you nod along like you understand a word he’s saying. Always worried about someone finding you and ending you in some horrific way. Dubs you the new mascot of the clinic and always asks you to wish him luck before he treats someone. Delighted when he realises you know “thumbs up” and have learned to give him two in response, smiling up at him. Understands our biological and psychological need, and urge for sexual pleasure. He doesn’t understand why you’re not doing it yourself after a while (you want to but he’s just always there and it’s weird) so he tells himself he’s just doing the right thing as your owner and tends to it himself.
Insecticons - kickback didn’t learn not to play with his food and now he’s begging his brothers to keep the cute tiny organic he found. Arguing there’s hardly any meat on their tiny frame anyway. They might indulge him for a while, especially if he’s willing to share, but eventually someone’s getting hungry through the night. Sorry. He’s devastated.
I know it was just posted but can we get more human pets with the transformers? And maybe some valveplug/spice with it to?
Of course ♥️ I was going to do some headcanons but here’s a whole ass novel I was possesssed to write lol. Sorry it’s a bit of a text wall, tumblr wasn’t happy with the length. You didn’t specify any bot in particular so I hope it’s okay I went with Sides (he asked nicely for attention :3)
Sideswipe x fem!Reader
Warnings: smut, very questionable morals, heavy Sunny judgement
You scowl as it comes up to the desk, crouching to smile down at you, wiggling a finger. You roll your eyes, twisting to sit facing the opposite side, now staring at the wall. The big robot makes the same noise over and over, the one that had become annoying familiar now. You hesitated to even call it a language. A mix of clicks, glitches, revs, and warbling. Most often, though, it made that same rumbling purr. One that reminded you of the drone of a heavy engine, or a purring of a cat. Huffing, you hesitate before twisting around to glare at it again. Its face lights up, weird teeth on display and the noise grows louder. You study it just like it seems to be studying you. Its face looks metallic and hard but somehow it emotes and expresses itself in an uncanny familiar way. Its body is plated in gaudy red, dark mesh visible at joints and seams. Of course AI robots would be the thing to torture humans forever. Could have seen that coming, you guess.
You regret your decision when it seems to take your staring as an invitation. It reaches out, sliding the lid open and bends to look directly down at you. Its hand is in the tank, flat on the substrate and its fingers are curling as if to beckon you closer. You glare up at it, making a point of scooting further away from it. The hand is sliding towards you, still flat in invitation, until it’s prodding your thigh and you turn around, sticking your tongue out. It makes a chuffing sound, shoulders rising and falling. Laughing?
It doesn’t seem to matter anyway as the hand curls around you, hoisting you into the air. Now held right in front of its face, you watch its lips move as it seems to be cooing and talking to you. You feel queasy seeing what looks like a tongue and throat inside of its mouth. God, if this ends in robot vore you’re going to be so pissed. The sounds of the heavy doors sliding opens draws your attention and you kick and push with your legs, struggling to see who’s come in. You ignore the red one as it seems to panic, other hand cupping around you too as if you’re going to squirm out and splat like a hamster. Oh. It’s the gold one again. The same one that seems to live here too, sleeping at night on bed on the opposite side of the room to red. He’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and his voice is monotone and bored sounding. Red throws his head back, rolling his eyes and responds. Once the door slides shut, other robot gone, he lowers you back into the glass cage and slides the lid back into place. You pretend not to watch as he rushes around and gathers his things. He crouches again, waving a finger at you, that you pretend not to notice, before he’s leaving out the same door. You hold your middle fingers up at him as soon as his back is turned.
Sunny groans. They’re not even half way through the evening and his brother has spoken about nothing other than his weird flesh pet. He hadn’t even wanted that thing in their berth but had eventually agreed upon realisation that it would be the only way to stop Sides from whining about it constantly. If he’d known it would open him to a whole not pit of being shown photos, and videos, and forum posts all day he never would have agreed.
“And then today Revs tried to bite me when I changed the water. It’s was so cute.”
“Revs?” He vents.
“Yeah. She’s always making that little growling noise when I pick her up. Revs.”
He spots the bar up ahead and turns to his twin, about to ask who else will be there.
“Oh. I forgot to say, I’ve ordered some new stuff for her. I know I promised to keep everything to my side but maybe I could just use one of your desk drawers-“
“No.”
“But sunny I-“
“Primus Sides. I just want one night where I can go and have a drink and not hear about your weird little pocket primate. Drop it.”
He instantly feels a wash of guilt at his brother’s dejected look, his shoulders slumping and preds dragging as they enter.
“Look. Maybe try actually speaking to a a femme tonight. At least have a normal conversation with our friends. You need company. It’s not healthy to sit in your berth all day playing games and obssessing over an animal.”
Sides shakes his head but gives Sunny a thumbs up and they make their way over to the table, their friends calling to them and lifting their drinks.
There isn’t much to do when they leave. You did have a ball on the first day, until you had lined up your shot and booted it right at his face. Turns out your coordination was fine and dandy. He’d come back wearing a covering on the eye you’d nailed with it. You’d tried not to feel guilty when he’d come over, smiling and waving at you as soon as he returned. Now, you found yourself sleeping when you could and when you found yourself alone, you masturbated furiously. Chasing any and all dopamine and endorphins you could. Seems like that’s what you’ll be doing tonight, you guess.
They come back some hours later and you whine as the room lights up, waking you. You’d cum 3 times before getting bored and falling asleep curled up in your blanket nest. You wince at the feeling of your half dried fluids, sticking to your mound and thighs. It’s not long before they’re both in their respective beds, lights out once more. You sigh, staring at the ceiling, unable to get back to sleep. A noise catches your attention and your head lolls to the side. It’s red. His back is turned to you but the low glow of its headlight eyes lights its frame enough for you to see him moving. You sit up, squinting in the dark, leaning forward to see what he’s doing. You can barely make out an arm moving rhythmically and straining to listen, you pick up on low grunting clicks leaving its mouth Your face flushes when it pieces together.
He- yes ok definitely a he - is jerking off and you’re watching like a freak. You flip again on your back, but you can’t seem to fight your head from turning to keep watching. A depraved heat clenches around core, hypnotising your fingers down your chest, your stomach, your hips, and your mouth falls open when they spread you open and sinks into your sticky opening. It’s so wrong. So fucked. You’re definitely not into your stupid robot owner but you guess you’ll take what you can get after being branded as an involuntary celibate for so long. Whenever your eyes slide shut as you circle your clit and rock your fingers inside yourself, you snap them back open to watch him now rocking his hips along with the tugging of his arm. You call it morbid curiosity.
Eyes rolled back now, you’re so so close. You wonder if you’ll cum at the same time. You wonder why you even thought that. You don’t immediately notice when he stops. You do notice, however, when he pushes himself to sit up, legs on the floor and hand rubbing at his face. You rip your hand from yourself and want to cry. Of course you couldn’t even just have this. He makes that sound like a sigh and sits there for a moment and the sight of whatever you call the thing between his legs has your jaw slack. It’s giant and as alien as it is, you know a cock when you see one. You pull the blankets over yourself to hide, leaving a gap big enough to watch as he slumps towards the desk, his dick still at attention and swinging with each step. He rummages in one of the desk drawers, but stops before he can pull out whatever freaky toys he owns. Probably a industrial magnet, you bet. You hear him venting deeply. Once, then twice. You see his glowing eyes lift to your enclosure and you close your eyes, doing your best sleeping impression. The lid slides over and your act is foiled when a giant finger prods at you. A soft yelp escapes you in surprise and it falls to a growl when the blankets are tugged right off of you. He leans closer, face inside the cage, and vents again. You glower at him, cheeks burning, as you try to read his expression. His brows are furrowed, eyes filled with an intensity you haven’t seen before.
It should have been unsurprising really when he scoops you up, yet again. Holding you close. You wonder who the fuck plays with their hamster while rock solid downstairs, and the thought has your eyes flickering down to glance at it. It’s totally involuntary. What is surprising is what he’s making his way back to his metal slab of a bed and laying back down, on his back this time. You raise an eyebrow at him as he deposits you on his chest. He smiles, petting your head with a finger. You feel every deep inhale he’s taking, feel him holding it, then his chest falling as he releases it. You’ve never noticed him breathing before so it makes you consider how much about him you really know. Seems like the big guy really needs a lot of air after all. He’s being greedy with it. Acting like he’s trying to suck all the oxygen out of the room. The bastard. His finger moves to your side and you let out a gasp, then a giggle, body folding to the side when it jabs you right in the tickley part of your waist. His eyes widen in surprise at your reaction, mouth twisting into a soft smile. He lifts his other hand and does your other side, letting out his own version of a laugh as you contort the other way, giggling and batting at the finger. You want to be angry, but honestly it’s been so long since you’ve been touched that it’s feeding the starving pit inside of you that’s been eating you alive. Always so lonely. His finger moves and pokes on your chest, pushing you to lean back. You do so, hands behind to prop yourself up, and legs in front. His fingers prod again but he’s at your feet and your toes curl, cursing internally at him finding yet another tickley place, hoping this won’t be your new torture. He seems to stare at your toes as they flex and curl, a softness lighting up his his face. Prodding at you again, he’s trying to get you to lift your legs. You refuse to move them, giving him a withering look. He gives you the most pathetic desperate face in return and you roll your eyes, spreading your legs and bending them on either side of you. You refuse to look at him as the air hits your slit, missing the way his eyes zero straight onto this new part of you. You consider that he’s completely clueless to your anatomy. Probably just curious and bored. The thought melts from you as a giant, warm metal finger prods at your cunt and you jump. He coos, petting your head to soothe you until you slump and relax again and he tries again.
Using both his fingers, he’s trying to spread you open, leaning his head forward trying to get a closer view. They’re too bulky to be able to do the job though, and you see his brow knitted in concentration as he keeps trying. Fuck it. You shoo his fingers away and before he can go back to trying to placate you, thinking you’re scared, you use your own hand and spread your lips, exposing your opening. You want to hate the hunger he stares at it with, but instead it has your walls fluttering around air. How long has it been since anyone’s looked at you like that? You thought nobody ever would again. Watching him watching you, you bite your lip and sink a finger inside, jumping when he lets out a rumble. You slide it back out, smiling as you bring it to to your mouth. Slowing, making sure you make a show it, you lick your tongue along the digit before sliding it into your mouth and suckle your juices from it. Faster than you can process, he’s got you in his palm again and he’s bringing you up to his face. He drops you on his mouth and suddenly the horror of robot vore is back at the forefront of your mind but instead of opening it and letting you tumble inside, he cracks it enough to stick out a tongue. His fingers tugging you down at the hips is all the encouragement you need as you lower yourself against it and begin to rock your hips. He lets out another rumble and you are thankful you’re facing down him as you watch his hand find his cock, wrapping around it and pumping. Closer now, you can see more of it. There’s bundles of wiring intersecting along the shaft, dipping in and out. Along the length are also rows of little red lights, all pulsing on and off, glinting like a landing strip. The thing itself seems a mix of mesh seams and thin strips of metal plating. The tip is tapered like a hentai tentacle and, holy shit, you can’t stop staring. Riding harder against his tongue, your clit grinding against it with every tilt of your hips, you know it’s not going to take you long. It seems with the speed he’s fisting himself he’s having the same problem. He’s helping you along, wriggling his tongue and you let’s put a long keening whine as your hips jerk and shudder, squirting and drooling onto him, and it seems to be enough to send him over the edge too. His hips snap, thrusting up to his hand as he rides it out, blue fluids spurting from, and oozing down his length. You’re transfixed as you realise it has a faint glow to it in the dark. Your legs feel like wet noodles as you turn, looking back to find his eyes are closed, venting in quick bursts, tongue back in his mouth.
You’re wondering if this is how you’re going to spend the while night, sitting there on a giant robot face in the dark when his eyes snap back open and he’s scooping you up again in his palm. Carrying you downwards, towards that monster alien dick. The fact it’s still rock hard both horrifies and amazes you. He holds you near the base and it’s almost giving you vertigo to look up it. Your breath quickens when he brings his hand closer, worried he’s going to squash you with it but, with relief, you realise he’s simply cupping you against it. Your thighs are spread wide to straddle around it, and your hands come up to poke at one of those blinking lights. It twitches against you when you do and it makes you giggle. Growing bolder, your hand strokes along it until you meet wire. You tangle your fingers into them, feeling him shiver under you and you give a light tug. His hips thrust up at that, and his cock slides against the length of your entire body. The fluids coating it seems to make it slippery enough that it didn’t give you friction burn at least. Your other hand traces along him to and you gasp when he begins to rock his hips, using you in his hand like a human fleshlight. You tighten the grip of your thighs, tilting until your own cunt is pressed against him. He groans at the little whimpers and breathy noises leaving you as he slides you along his length. He knows he’s not going to last long again, head falling back.
He yells. You flinch at the noise. He’s staring up, frozen. You crane your own neck. The gold one is looming over him, staring with a horrified look, mouth slack.
Sunny grabs his wrist and pulls the hand holding you towards him, away from his spike. He doesn’t even fight, still frozen.
You squeal as you’re yanked up in a tight grip, and carried back to the desk. You’re all but flung back into your cage, the lid slammed with enough force to make you jump and cower as the gold bot is shouting, you presume at the red one. Whatever he’s saying sounds angry, as he jabs a finger at the other’s face. Red looks horrified and his hands are in the air in a surrender as he cringes, shrinking at the others words. The gold one throws his own hands up and he storms back to his own side, throwing himself with a clang onto his bed again. You turn to look at Red who looks embarrassed and dejected. He catches your gaze and gives you that little finger wave. You, for the first time, wave back. He gives a soft smile, almost guilty looking, and with that he lays back down, his back turned to you. Curling back into the nest of blankets, you try to slow your hammering heart. You sigh, back at square one. Awake and staring at the ceiling. And again, alone.
Because the trope where humans are kept as exotic pets is just too hot hilarious. Probably will flesh these out into actual scenarios with various bots/put real art into the mix but here’s some tism for now.
I haven’t solidly assigned any of the usernames to who the corresponding bot is but obviously have my own ideas as to who is who. It would be hilarious to hear your takes.
Some NSFW at the end because I can’t help myself.
Welfare
I can’t decide whether we would be seen as extremely hardy like cockroaches or dramatic and they blink and we’re just…
I personally think we’d be a weird mix of the two. Humans are hardy and very adaptable to their environments. Probably fairly easy to keep alive but pet owners can also be unbelievably stupid.
Pets>exotic>humans>welfare
BigBlaster: Hey guys. Just wanted to share that I may have dropped my human when I took them out to clean. Thought they were dead but apparently they’re fine. They broke 14 bones but the vet said they’ll recover.
Wingding00: Get better soon little guy. I went on a mission for a deca-cycle and forgot to leave any water. They were fine though. Came back and found them licking condensation off their tank. Oops.
Revmaxxer: Remember to cup them next time. Easy to forget how fast they are. Mines went missing and I found it an orbital later in a vent. They were shaken up for a while but hey, thought for sure they were gone.
SquishySential09: What the pit. Mines got stuck upside down in the corner of their tank for only a rotation and they were dead. My luck…
XxxSparkEaterxxX: I feel you. Mines managed to gets its servos on energon somehow. It was brutal.
NutsNbolts: Pls don’t laugh it was really traumatising. I dropped the tank on mine when moving it to clean. RIP little guy:(
AFTerparty: oxygen tank turned off. Literally was gone a nanosecond. Smh.
*the rest of the thread is a mix of outrage and other bots sharing the ridiculous ways their humans have managed to escape or die. Many of the entries become memes.*
Psychological reactions
On the other hand we have very intense needs which would be almost impossible to meet. Humans aren’t meant to live in captivity and quickly succumb to zoochosis and it would be near impossible to keep a happy/thriving human. I think the only work around is to provide lots of interaction and stimulus to where the human doesn’t register being a captive daily (but good luck with that)
Pets>exotic>humans>behavioural
AxelGind: so I’ve had my human for a oribtal now. First days were great. They were exploring and playing with me lots. They seemed to sleep more and move less as time went on so I tried to remove them from their nest. It BIT me? It’s never done that but now every time I even try to get near it it’s crouching low and growling at me showing its little denta. Think i might need to rehome if this continues :(
SquishySentinal09: I put a mirror in for mine. Now all it does is rock in front of it chirping all day. It started pulled out its head fur and scratching itself so the vet gave me padded gloves to strap on its servos
MegaPrime69: What are you guys even doing? I take mine everywhere with me and it’s fine? They’re just a little guy. It’s always the owner not the pet…
SpikeSwinger: Slag off. Mines keeps trying to secure its blankets to the bars and offline itself. Glass enclosure is a savour
SpikeSwinger: Ok so it’s been a deca-cycle. Kept banging their helm on the glass. Bought padding. ~Vent~…
WheelinDealin: At least yours doesn’t urinate on EVERYTHING. My whole berth stinks. They’re staring at me while they do it. I swear they’re doing it on purpose >:(
Pet outfits.
I love to think there’s a spectrum of pets kept with no clothing because it’s simply not seen as necessary, to pets given cute outfits to show how much their owners care about them, to owners who absolutely dress their humans up in the most ridiculous outfits they can find for the memes.
Pets>exotic>humans>coverings
MegaPrime69: as a responsible pet owner i would never dress my pet up. Their body systems self regulate and they need full range of motion. Remember, they’re a living thing and not a toy.
RedRevs: Yeah so anyway, look how cute my little one looks. I got tiny custom armour made for them in my colours. They’re a little me!!!
SpikeSwinger: Mines is definitely plotting how to bite through my wiring but look! They’re a little energon cube! Heh heh heh
Revmaxxer: they look uncomfortable. They can’t even move their arms…Aren’t you the same bot who said his human was trying to offline themselves the other day?…
Spike Swinger: …slag off
Revmaxxer: I hope it chews on your spark while you sleep
Enrichment
Humans are a paradox. We hate being bored but we crave routine. We enjoy games and play but as soon as it feels forced or condescending we don’t. We’re also kind of trolls. I see us being a bit like cats in the sense that I don’t care you bought you most expensive human toy you could find, this spare coil is much more interesting. Look i can ping it across the room! We’d also be all up in their business whether they like it or not.
Pets>exotic>humans>Enrichment
SpeedyStreak: that’s it I’m not buying even one more toy for my human. I just spent my last pay check on a climbing frame and they’ve set up a ramp in the corner and are surfing the metal sheet from the box down it.
AFTerparty: I feel you. I bought them a big container to swim in. Every time I put them in it they’re just holding their breath and letting themselves sink to the bottom. They stare at me until I take them out. Their face turned blue one time and they just sat there.
RedRevs: Mines loves my data pad. Every report is covered in doodles and their footprints. I can’t get any work done because they’re just always standing on it. I have a report due tomorrow. Pray for me.
SquishySentinal09: Have you considered getting them their own one? Seems like an obvious solution
RedRevs: Yes,owll They refyyyyyuse to use it. They’re standing on mine as typee thios nowwpppp
MegaPrime69: I’m telling you guys. I literally just take mine everywhere. Never had even one problem.
Food
I cant see cybertronians having a great sense of taste. I do however think they would be able to understand from our biology and evolution that we love sugar. This leads to bland, gross nutritional food and lots of yummy treats and I’m sure you can see where the problems would arise.
Pets>exotic>humans>nutrition
WheelinDealin: posting here again because I don’t know what to do and nothing is working. They’re still refusing to eat. Help.
XxxSparkEaterxxX: Mines had this issue so I just give them lots of those treat tubes. Look how happy this guy is.
WingDing00: …that human is morbidly obese. You’re going to kill it
XxxSpikeEaterxxX: Don’t be rude! You’re going to hurt their feelings. I’d know if my pet was unhappy or ill and they’re always smiling and reaching for me.
WingDing00: Humans can’t read dumbaft. Of course it’s happy, you’re stuffing them with sucrose.
GoldenBlaze: Ignore those guys. Just hold it down and force the pellets into their mouth. You need to cover their nose and mouth to make them swallow though.
WheelinDealin: …I think I’ll just try a different brand…again ~vent~
AxelGrind: Yeah definitely ignore those guys. No more treats for me. Mines turned feral. Woke up to them out of their cage and tearing everything on my desk apart looking for them.
Habitat
As with any pet care, I think the enclosures that they would use would drastically vary dependant on income, education, and unfortunately how much they care. On one end of the spectrum you’d have large terrariums with multiple biomes, programmable weather, and access to running water. On the other end of the spectrum you’d have the equivalent of a goldfish bowl with some cloths and soft things dumped inside. Generally I think bars would be avoided by even bad owners because they’re too easy for us to escape from or shove our heads through and get stuck.
Pets>exotic>humans>Enclosures
MegaPrime69: Set a rainstorm to go off last night. I didn’t know they liked the rain so much. I’ve attached a clip.
AxelGrind: Aw. It looks like they’re dancing:3
SpinnyBlade: Look at mines. It’s pressing its face up against the wall hee hee
WingDing00: Um. is it inside an energon cube? That’s…
SpinnyBlade: Oh sorry. Let me just wade through my giant stockpile of shanix so I can buy a whole planet to put it on. You’re right.
WingDing00: Here’s a link to a cheap one
SpinnyBlade: here’s a link to all the bots that asked you slagger
Sentience
I imagine there’s a growing group of bots trying to argue against human pet keeping and protest that they’re sentient creatures. They’re not taken very seriously and most bots shut them down by saying they just want to frag them. I imagine it’s a hot topic though. There’s definitely bots who like to touch and frag their humans. Probably more closeted than they would ever guess. There’s probably sites dedicated to it that keep getting shut down.
Pets>exotic>humans>News
SpeedyStreak: ayo. Anyone see the article yesterday about the bot found fragging his human? Heard he was charged.
BigBlaster: Yikes. I heard at work today there’s a bot trying to declare his his conjunx. Some bolts loose in the helm I think
RedRevs: Don’t offline me but to be fair, sometimes when mines looks at me it’s a bit uncanny. Wouldn’t be surprised if laws change in a long time.
BigBlaster: I’m calling the troopers. Nasty aft.
RedRevs: IM NOT FRAGGING MY HUMAN IM JUST SAYING. You can’t say they don’t seem to have quite a lot of intelligence. I swear mines is trying to copy the words I say
BigBlaster: They said they’re on their way to arrest you right now and put you in jail forever
NutsNBolts: not saying I agree with you red, but I put something over their enclosure when I frag myself ngl. The staring was making me uncomfortable
Bonus:
ValvePlug.com>aliens>humans
SystemShock: i can’t believe how wet their valves get. So easily too. Here’s more close ups I promised
ArielAssault: nice. Good work on those again. Your photos are always so high def. None to share today but reminder to everybot to clean them after fun. Mines developed a weird skin reaction overnight from my fluids.
TrueBlue0: rookie mistake. Anywhere he’s a clip I found of some wire play. Still too nervous to let mine under my plates myself. That would be some way to be found by the troopers.
SpinnyBlade: GUYS HELP. mines has crawled deep in my valve and I can’t get it out. What do I do?! I’m panicking but it also feels kind of good ngl?
MeshMaster: anyway mines learned the word frag and now it’s all they say. Who am I to say no?
TrueBlue0: tables have been turned then heh heh. Mines just presents to me with their aft in the air. Other times they get a bit huffy but I think they’re having fun
ArielAssault: mines pokes my biolights when they flash like some kind of reaction time test
MegaaaaPriiime: cute. Mines likes to stare at my spark when I play with them.
ArielAssault: …why’s your spark out?
MegaaaaPriiime: who are you? The troopers
SystemShock: reminder I’ll be taking paid commissions tomorrow for my next clips. You know where to donate.
MeshMaster: think you will ever get your spike inside them? I bet they could take it Shock. I’d pay good money to see. Even just the tip.
SpinnyBlade: yeah thanks for all the help guys. 3 whole breems it was in there. You all suck.
He loves to take charge of everything, which also includes when he is fucking you restlessly. For him, sex is a focus on you: your reactions, your likes, and your sounds. Oikawa wants to fuck you so good you would even forget about your name, for him every fuck is a challenge, and as you know he hates to lose. Despite his determination, you don't make it easy for him. The way your hips were moving, your whimpers, red marks from his spanking, the tears of pleasure that crossed your face which came from your naive eyes. It was an invitation for him to cum as fast as possible. Why did you need to act as such a whore? He pulled gently on your hair to expose more of your neck, once the skin was exposed he leaned in to make a short path of kisses and ended up with a hickey. Maybe the amazing fucking and how his dick is destroying your sanity would remind you who you belong to, but he wouldn't mind having other signs that people could realize you are taken, completely taken by him.
ATSUMU MIYA
Voyeurism
The blond setter might love it when you tease him, taunting him until he finally snaps. However, when he turns into the teaser, everything levels up. He wants to know how needy you are for him, how much you would degrade yourself just to get him. You were there, lying on the couch naked, your back arched whenever you used a new finger or sped up the fingering, not holding back any moan. Meanwhile, he was sitting in front of you, licking his lips, admiring the mess you were making. His right hand was holding his veiny and throbbing cock, so you could see it better. If you weren't to immerse yourself in fucking yourself while you scream his name, you would have seen how his precum was already releasing on the tip of his dick. Atsumu could easily just cum to that perfect scene, cover you with his load, and would already be satisfied. Nevertheless, he doesn't want to waste his cum, and has already decided he will load it all in you. You finally grabbed a cushion strongly and crossed your legs, a loud sigh came out of your mouth, indicating you had just reached orgasm. Is at that moment, when you were still feeling the pleasure, that he came to you and penetrated you. Now you are ready to take his huge cock.
TOBIO KAGEYAMA
Begging
His fingers on your filthy mouth. You were looking at him on your knees, meanwhile, he was standing up, wearing that nonchalant expression he was used to. Your tongue moves around his fingers, sucking them, and staring at him impatiently. It was a battle, he wouldn't put his dick in your cute mouth if you didn't verbally beg it. You, as the stubborn person you were, wanted to see if Kageyama could finally bow down to you. That was the reason why you were sucking his fingers in the most sexually and hot way possible, even leaving a string of saliva which connected from the tip of his fingers to your lips. He could only described you with a three words: a needy whore. The plan wasn't going as you expected, he seemed impassive while you were too needy for his dick. You wanted it to fuck your mouth, to make you gag until you can no longer breathe, to memorize every vein of it. You were cock whipped for him, so bad and so hard. You frowned, how much willpower could he have to act that icily? It was noticeable the bulge that appeared under his sweatpants, throbbing potentially, and leaving the clue that he was wearing no underwear; making his dick even more desirable. Maybe for this time, you would give in.
KENMA KOZUME
Sexting
Whenever he is streaming, he likes to have everything under control. He has moderators and four big screens. However, he leaves a screen for your chat, saying that you might have an emergency. For example, he was reacting to the GOTY nominations when a message from you saying you are needy popped up. He could already feel the rush going through his body. While viewers are focused on the video, he is on all the needy messages you are sending. He can feel his temperature rising and how his pants are starting to restrict him. There is something about you sexting, confessing your most perverse fantasies, and telling him how you are masturbating yourself. He could already feel how his dick can't wait any longer to be inside you, spreading that tight and wet hole you reserved for him. Now, his words are being sloppy whenever he talks, which confused his chat and made him think he was excited about the event. There is a turning point, and it is when you finally sent him a short mute video of you naked, touching yourself while mouthing his name. You are just in the bedroom next to his, you are so fucking close, but he cannot go yet. You know that and just used it as a way of torturing him even more, being more explicit in your texts, sending videos in different positions, with different facial expressions. Oh, when he finishes this stream, you will be really punished.
KEIJI AKAASHI
Pleasure control
Akaashi is a gentleman, he is such a gentleman that he even controls how much pleasure you are receiving and in what way. That's why his dick covered with your fluids is right now sliding over that pretty hole of yours. The tip of his dick caressed the entrance, making you move your hips uncontrollably to get more contact with it. He smirked to see his reaction, and since you have been a good sub, he awarded you with introducing just his tip. His thrusting started, but you are disappointed that you aren't experiencing the whole thing. Before you could even complain, as if he could read your mind, he buried his dick deeper than before. Your body shivered and your mouth produced a slight moan. How could it feel so good? You didn't know how Akaashi was able to produce that effect on you, such intense pleasure whenever he wanted. It's not as if it was your first fuck with him, but he made it feel every time as the first time he owned you, as it was a new experience for you. When you started to get used to the way he was thrusting you, you decided to take some initiative and crossed your legs around his waist so he could enter you completely. Since he could no longer control the pleasure through his throbbing dick, he decided to use his hands and mouth. His mouth left wet kisses and his hands caressed your body begging for more in every touch. His affection through mouth and hands kept getting intense, however so were his thrusts, searching for that sweet spot of yours. In seconds he found it and kept pounding there. Oh, you were going insane.
KOSHI SUGAWARA
Sensory deprivation
He just wants you to concentrate on him, that's the reason why you were blindfolded, with earplugs, and your hands restrained with a tie. Seeing you that vulnerable already made him feel rush in his body to fuck you as you deserved. Things got better when he finally attended to your desire to get all of him in you. You're only feeling his dick spreading slowly through your entrance, too slowly in your opinion. You knew he was doing that on purpose, he wanted you to feel embedded by all his length, to appreciate every part of him. Desperate, you leaned your hips towards him; however, you felt a soft bite on the earlobe in response. It was his way of telling you to be patient. You whimpered as a way of complaining, but part of your voice got stuck in your throat the moment he surprisingly got all in with just a thrust. You writhed in the sheets when you feel how the path started to fasten, not leaving enough time for you to assimilate. Furthermore, you being deprived of everything but his touch made any single caress multiply its effect on you, leading to exaggerated reactions that are the most gorgeous thing for him. The deprivation continued until you admitted you were going to orgasm soon, it’s then when he quit you the think piece of silk which didn't allow you to see. You saw everything bluried due to the tears of pleasure. He saw you in your truest form, the most gorgeous and hottest mess ever created. He could like sensory deprivation, but he loves all your facials, more if it's when you orgasm.
KEISHIN UKAI
Public sex
He loves to fuck you anywhere and whenever he can, hence you are now in the storage room with your hands grabbing a shelf trying to stabilize yourself while he is pounding you swiftly. Your jeans were on the floor, and your panties were pulled on one side. Meanwhile, he is barely with his jeans and underwear under his knees. You two didn't have enough time, since he is on his lunch break. At least he was eating well, leaving a trace of wet kisses on your neck and shoulder, while his hands were firmly grabbing your hips, assuring to fuck you deeper with every thrust. You tried to avoid emitting any sound, since the storage room isn't quite far away from the corridors of the shop, but he was fucking you so good and touching you so good, that some soft whimpering escaped from your mouth. He groaned and pushed you roughly, making your body stumble and be pushed against the shelf, how could he not answer to your desperate crying of wanting more? One of his hands which was busy earlier with some stimulation went to your mouth, to cover it all, as he tried for your moans not to escape that little room. If you two didn't get caught you would have another amazing sex experience, if you two got caught he could finally show everyone what a bitch you were for him. It was already a win for him.
KANJI KOGENAGAWA
Striptease
Kanji is a simple man, and like every man, he loves the foreplay. His favourite one is the striptease, in which he can admire you calmly and think about all the things he is going to do to you. Have you unzipped your sweatshirt slowly to show your naked body slowly? He would think about how his fingers would caress your neck, making a trace to your nipples to play with them, sucking, licking, nibbling them. Are you now stripping down your jeans? He would make sure to have those legs firmly grab his waist to feel him better when he will fuck you nonstop all night. Would you make some graceful movements of your arms? He would make sure to get both arms entangled around his neck while your nails dig softly into his skin whenever you feel he has hit the spot. He loves seeing you like that because he could already imagine all the naughty and sexual things he is going to do to you, to destroy you, and make you only think for weeks how he is the only one who could fuck you the way you like it.
Hun, do you think Sado would put reader in a headlock? Gosh, I'd sell my soul for it
Ummmm that’s my dream? That’s my one wish and desire? How did you know..
But yeah to answer you correctly, absolutely (but this is me moreso talking with high hopes—)
Chad obviously isn’t gonna choke you out per say because god forbid he hurt you, his partner, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself, or at least feel good about himself for a while afterwards but if he finds out you’d wanna be out in said position, I can see him indulging in that with extreme caution and the littlest force with him locked around your neck as possible, because we wouldn’t want you losing oxygen and possibly passing out on him LOL
I believe in one of my most recent smuts I’ve actually had him put the reader in a chokehold if I described it correctly
But yeah <3 if it makes you happy he’ll be willing to indulge <3 I can see him being much more comfortable having you in a full Nelson than a full on headlock, so imagine as you please 👅
Naoya zenin has something for his little sister, his perfect angel. He gets so hard thinking about you, but he would never touch you. He had to keep you pure, not like those other whores in the estate. So imagine how mad he gets when he finds out that Naobita was planning on marrying you off to some Gojo. After yelling at the clanhead for atleast an hour, he started drinking. And then, in the dark of the night he comes to your room. He promises to keep you safe, to protect you. His suffocating presence presses you against the mattress as you pretend to be asleep but you can smell the alcohol on his breath. Naoya just couldn't help himself :(
im very high and this is so not proof read so pls forgive any spelling mistakes hehe
ok yes and then Bigbrother!Naoya is too drunk to stop himself from grinding against your ass, groaning weakly into your ear as he humps you all needy from behind :(
'n when his cock is too hard to ignore he finally pushes down your panties, nudging his cock against your entrance with a drunken whine, his face all flushed with need as he desperately tries to fuck himself into your hole
eventually he manages to slip in and he cant help but cum instantly :( he's drunk after all, and with how warm n tight your pussy is he can't stop himself!
but Bigbrother!Naoya doesn't stop there. No. he waits until his cock hardens again, biting his teeth into your skin just enough to leave marks, but not enough to wake you up. he doesn't want you to panic and scream, that'd just make a scene...
so he takes it upon himself to place his hand over your mouth, just in case you woke up to him railing your cunt <3
and you do!
When you open your groggy eyes, oh, you feel sosososo full :( your big brothers cock is in places you didn't even know existed, hitting somewhere deep inside you that sent jolts of pleasure down to your toes
and even when you tried to squirm an' whine Bigbrother!Naoya just doesn't stop :( he leaves your pussy all swollen n puffy, stuffed full of his cum hours after he's had his way with you...
but it's all for your own good! If you get pregnant with his baby, they can't send you away, after all! <3
what ao3 would look like with ads. no, you do not want this. support ao3 because it’s one of the last few places on the internet that is not tainted by capitalism bullshit. support ao3 because it’s one of the last few places on the internet that is genuinely about the connection between audiences, artists, their works and the love/passion artists have for what they do
an: real name spoilers in the bonus if ur not caught up-, iykyk. But whewww I got a little carried away with this one😩 it's longer than pt.1 and we got some bonus characters that I originally didn't think I'd do.
part 1 here!! My masterlist
Hizashi is loud and talkative, and that doesn't change in bed.
He asks (more like demands) you to sit on his face. “Get over here and sit on my face to shut me up then, baby!” He says, loudly, after you've thrown a pillow at him and told him to shut up.
You were resting on a chair, wearing only a big t-shirt and panties, and he was in just his pajama pants. You're eager to have his mouth on you, even though you are feeling a little insecure with yourself, so you obey. You get up from your seat on the chair and walk over to the bed.
He quickly lies down, head close to your legs. “Oh yeah, baby. Come on, sit. Please, don't make me wait.” He immediately whines, staring up at you expectantly. Hes always impatient and desperate for you even if he'd just tasted you the day before. His fingers hook into your panties and pull them down, as he practically drools at the sight. You climb over him and finally settle your pussy over his awaiting mouth. He hums into you, appreciatively, as if he's just tasted his favorite dessert. He brings his hands to grip your hips, trying to pull you into his mouth, trying to pull the entirety of your weight into him. When you don't give in, his brows furrow. He pulls away a little, looking up at you, before tightening his grip on one of your hips.
“Why are you so tense? I want you to sit, not float, princess” He questions, and you sigh, resting your hands on your thighs to help you stay kneeling instead of sitting fully.
“I don't know. Im too heavy, I don't want to suffocate you..” You admit.
“WHAT??” He questions, voice booming through the apartment as his eyes widen in surprise. His thumbs rub circles on your hips, and he lowers his voice tentatively. “You're wrong, baby. You're fucking perfect, always have been. So sit that perfect pussy on my face.” He says. You hesitate for just a second, but he looks at you with a warning. “NOW.” He demands, hands gripping your hips harder as he looks up at you with stern eyes- there's no getting out of this.
When you finally do sit, he buries himself in you savagely. He's devouring you, all the while groaning and moaning into your cunt as if he could cum in his pants just from eating you. The moans are vibrating against you adding to the mind numbing pleasure. His tongue delves between your folds, into the hole, out and back up to your clit. He circles it, swirls it, and laps up every last drop of juices. Your moans are like music to his ears, and he loses himself in your dripping cunt as he wrings out every last sound. You cum, and he doesn't stop, he's merciless once he's got you trapped.
He keeps going until you're screaming, grabbing his head by his long blonde locks and pulling, begging “OH PLEASE…. HIZASHI, I CANT!” His face is dripping, coated in the arousal from him forcing your poor cunt to squirt more than once.
When he pulls away, he sees you exhausted, falling down onto him, and he flips you so you're now lying on the bed and he's hovering over you. He leans in close, his voice is low, gravelly and serious. “That was amazing. Don't ever talk down on yourself again, or I'm pushing you even further next time.” He warns, pulling the blanket up over your body. He lies down, pulling you close to him, and kisses your head. After awhile, he makes you food, runs you a bath and you talk more about why you've been feeling insecure. He's a talker, and you'll get to the root of the issue and have 10 solutions within the night. You don't mind, though. It just reminds you how much he loves you.
Shota is all low voice, bruising grip and no nonsense. You'd been teasing him all day, and he'd finally hauled you up over his mouth and was prepared to show you the consequences of your teasing. When you refuse to sit, he'll first just try to pull you in. Maybe you're just trying to get him to be rough, like you do sometimes. When that doesn't work, he'll look up at you with those intimidating eyes.
“What's gotten into you? Are you not in the mood?” He asks, wondering if maybe you're just forcing yourself to do this to please him. “I won't force you for my own pleasure. I thought those messages you sent me earlier were an indicator that you're feeling needy.”
He adjusts you so you're sitting on his chest now, but he's looking right up into your eyes as if your pussy isn't pulsating so close to him.
“It's not that I'm not in the mood. I want you so badly, Shota. It's….I just feel like I'm getting too heavy. I don't want to crush you or something.” He scoffs, as if you're wasting his time. As if it's completely unreasonable and illogical to think that.
“Crush me? Where is the logic in that, Darling? I've been through way more than my perfect girl sitting on my fuckin face. You're not too heavy.” He says, looking up at you as if he's scolding you. As if talking down on yourself is a rule that's now been disobeyed. “Since you underestimate me, let me show you just how much I can handle. Let's hope you can handle the same” He says, and this time you don't stop him from pulling you in.
He growls low in his throat when he finally tastes you, and it's like a primal side of him has been unlocked. He's pulling you in impossibly close, lapping at your juices and dancing his tongue through your folds. He makes you cum quickly, and he doesn't stop there. He couldn't stop there, he needs to push you further. He needs to show you that there's nothing he can't handle when it comes to you, especially your perfect body sitting on him. You're a whimpering, sweaty mess when he finally stops. You're breathing is ragged, and his face is drenched.
He smiles as you slide down his body and rest on top of him. He plants a kiss to your lips, and you can taste yourself on his lips. “Sleep with me, angel. We can eat when we wake up.” He says, stroking your hair softly as he closes his eyes. He's always tired after fooling around, even if he's left hard and aching for you. You'll deal with that later, for now it's just soft breaths and gentle touches as you both doze off.
Hitoshi would really not have any time for your nonsense. He's waiting for you to finally sit, looking up at you with tired eyes, but you're resisting.
“You don't know how to sit or something?” He asks, looking at you with his tired eyes as if you're almost irritating him, low voice hoarse with desire.
“I'm too heavy for that, Hitoshi. This is good, I can hold myself up a bit.” He rolls his eyes, as if you're just trying to give him a headache. He could just order you to sit, but he'd never use his quirk on you that way. Partially because he wouldn't ever need to, partially because he loves you so deeply that he wants to know you want everything he has to offer. He couldn't live with himself if he forced you.
“And I suppose I'm just weak, too weak to handle my own girlfriend, huh?” He asks, deep voice teasing and slow. “Guess all those times I've thrown you over my shoulder, carried you around, hell, even lifted you up in my binding cloths slipped your mind, didn't they?” You shake your head, just as he slides up from under you.
“What if you suffocate, I don't know!” You're sitting on the couch now, as he heads to the closet and emerges with his binding scarf wrapped perfectly around his neck.
“Well, that's for me to decide, I'd say.” He says, low and deep. He returns to your side on the couch. “Tell me no, and I won't.” He offers, and you know he's going to bind you. He's done it before, but only when you're okay with it.
“I want it…” You breathe. He smiles softly before wrapping his scarf around your body, around your wrists. He has one end in each hand, and it's wrapped around you so you can't really move too much. He pulls you on top of him, lying back down and positioning you over his mouth easily.
“I won't push you past your limits, but you know what to do if you need me to stop, right?” You nod, confirming your safe word. “Now be my good girl and sit.” He demands, before pulling you down onto his mouth, using his scarf to keep you firmly against him.
He truly loses himself in you, feeling gratified when he can make you feel good. It's the most amazing feeling to him, knowing he can make you come apart completely all on his own. His tongue moves so masterfully, you'd think he took a master class in it. He never gets tired, never loses his stamina. He makes you cum at least 3 times if you're on his face, though he could live between your thighs and still be unsatisfied.
After, he unties you and inspects you for any red marks. He'll kiss every inch of you, with special attention to any marks. “Don't ever deny me your body again. Not if it's for insecurity. If you don't want it, that's one thing, but don't ever assume I don't.” He says, as he kisses you. He cleans you up, showers with you, and you sleep cuddled up under the blanket. He watches you as you sleep for a bit, always one to have trouble truly relaxing, but soon he plants one final kiss to your hair and dozes off.
Neito Monoma would laugh, actually laugh when you try to hover above his mouth. He’d use it as the perfect opportunity to brag on his IMPECCABLE skill.
“Aww what's wrong? Poor baby can't handle my incredible tongue? I know it's pretty exceptional, but I thought my girl could handle it.” He mocks. You whine at the teasing, but try to defend yourself anyway.
“No! It's not that I can't handle it, I just…I feel like I'm too heavy. I'm just trying to be careful.”
He scoffs then, sounding as if you've just offended not only him, but his entire lineage. “Oh, so you think I can't handle you? Is that it?” He laughs again, almost condescending in the way he teases. “Get real, princess. Thought I was your perfect man.” He teases, pouting at you as if you're simply being mean for the sake of it.
You finally sigh, saying. “You are my perfect man, Nei.” And he just tuts, looking up at you with an expectant gaze.
“Then be my perfect girl and sit." He demands, finally gripping your plush skin in his fingers and pulling you against his mouth.
He's an overachiever, licking across your folds with expert precision and forcing multiple orgasms out of you easily. His tongue delves into each and every inch, sucking and kissing as if you're the most sacred treasure. You're obsessed with the view, having your cocky man under you, absolutely lost in you, worshipping you. He spells his name across your clit, as if he's signing that it's all his. After you've cum so many times you're crying, he'll let you get up.
And though he's all teasing and attitude to everyone in the world, he takes great care of you after. After all, a king needs his queen to be spoiled, (and the more attention he gives you the more you shower him with love in return.).
“You're perfect. You love when I make you feel so good, don't you?” He says, playing with your hair gently as you lie on his lap.
“I do. You're amazing, Neito.” You say, and he smiles, proud as hell.
“Say that again, baby.” He says with a cocky smirk.
Hanta Sero is so compassionate, but he's such a tease. You're both naked, fresh out of the shower, and when he asks you to sit on his face, you're a little shy. You laugh a little, just short breaths through your nose, as if he was kidding. His tape snaps out quickly, wrapping around your wrist. You blush and give in, letting him pull you in close.
“I'm not kidding. C'mon, don't be shy. I've used my mouth on you before, but I just wanna drown in you right now.” He pleads, backing you both up towards the bed, and you can't possibly deny him such a request. After all, he's offering to pleasure you with no promise of you returning the favor.
“Okay, Hanta…” You say, as he lies down and helps you settle above his mouth. You're a little nervous at being on top of him this way. You're not sure if he'll be safe, if he can even breathe. The thoughts get the best of you and you don't allow yourself to fully sit.
“Lower, babygirl. Just sit.” He prompts, gentle hands rubbing your ass, your back, your thighs.
“I'm just a little nervous, Han…what if I'm too heavy?” You ask, and he scoffs.
“Too heavy? Are you joking?” He says with a chuckle. You shake your head 'no', and he sighs solemnly and shakes his head.
“Hey, you know you're perfect, right? I wouldn't ask you to do this if I didn't really want it. Let me show you how perfect I think you are.” His hands are resting on your hips now, and he's blinking up at you with these pleading eyes. You don't give in at first, still a little insecure. “Come on, princess. Don't you want to cum all over my face? See me helpless beneath you…grind it and ride it until you're completely spent?”
His words are like gasoline to the flame inside you, and you finally give in. You allow yourself to sit, and he hums happily into you. He makes good on all his teasing, when he makes you cum on his face multiple times. His hands never stop roaming your body, his eyes stare up at you from his place between your legs. Every time you meet his gaze and he sees your blissed-out expression, he moans. He's so hard he's aching, and you can feel his legs shaking. All it takes is you leaning back and rubbing him with his palm through his boxers a couple times and he's cumming, groaning into your cunt.
After, you shower together and he washes you. “Fuck, I can't believe your pussy made me cum in my boxers. That's a little embarrassing.” He says, scratching the back of his neck nervously.
You just smile and wrap your arms around his neck. “No it's not. It made me feel good. You think I'm that hot?” You ask, smiling as you kiss his chin.
He smiles as he looks down at you, wrapping an arm around your waist and kissing your forehead. “I think you're perfect. The most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on.”
Keigo wants you to sit on his face so bad, he begs. He has you right where he wants you, climbing over his face.
He whistles as soon as he catches a glimpse. “Fuck, baby. What a view.” He says, admiring your already wet cunt.
He'd been teasing you, touching you just where he knew drove you crazy, using his feathers to randomly ghost past your neck, your thighs. He'd kept it up all day, and you were so desperate for release. But, once you're above him you can't help but overthink it. He tries to lean his head up, burying his face into your cunt as he begins to lick and suck. He tries to pull you down more, but you resist.
He drops his head and looks up at you. “You're holding back on me, little bird. Talk to me, what's stopping you?” He asks, in between soft kisses to your thighs, wherever he can reach.
“Keigo, it's just…I don't know. Maybe I'm too heavy? What if I hurt you?”
He shakes his head, furrowing his brows. “Oh, baby, no. Don't think that. You're gorgeous.” He says, kissing your thigh again, while his hands run gently along your skin. “Please sit on my face, baby? Please? I'm begging you. I'll get on my knees and beg if you want. If you want the Hawks on his knees begging, I can do that.” He pleads, and you just blush and laugh.
“Okay, okay. But if I hurt you, throw me off.” You say, and he rolls his eyes but smirks.
“Deal. But I guarantee you won't. You're light as a feather.” He says, and then he lands a harsh smack to your ass before pulling you down so you can't resist giving him your full weight any longer.
He's desperate between your legs, and he always devours you like you're his last meal. Your sensitive clit is sucked, rubbed, licked with perfect pressure. His pace is steady, and when he brings a feather to run along your body, from your navel to your breasts, you shudder. He feels the way you pulse, the way your cunt twitches, and he pushes you through your orgasm. He doesn't stop until you're shaking, and begging him for mercy. He loves the sound of your voice when you're that needy, that desperate, begging for a break before you lose your mind completely. When you're done, he takes a bath with you, holding you against his chest comfortably.
"My perfect girl. You make me so happy." He croons, as his hands trail all over your body. He makes a point to carry you to the bath, and to bed after, as if to prove that you were wrong about being too heavy. He touches your body all over that night. It's not even sexual, just reverent and loving. He worships every inch of you, and your insecurity is thrown to the wind.
BONUS!!!
Toshinori gets anxious when you resist sitting on his face. You hover above him,and when he tries to pull you in closer you don't.
“I'm sorry, have I done something wrong?” He asks, concern in his voice. He sits up, helping you to slide down onto the couch as he does.
“No, Toshi, you're fine. It's me. I feel like I'm too heavy.” You say, and you see his eyes look a bit sad. He takes it personally, as if you think he's too weak now to handle you.
“We've done it before. You weren't too heavy. Is it that now you think I'm weak? Or you're not interested in this sort of thing with me anymore?” He asks, insecure about himself.
You didn't even think he'd see your reluctance as you believing he's weak now, or that you're not as attracted to him.
“No! No, baby, that's not it at all. You're so strong. I know you can handle me. I'm just being mean to myself, I guess.” You reassure him, as you feel his hands running along all your body. He's staring down at your skin as if you're a goddess. He looks like he's in love with every inch of you.
“You shouldn't shame yourself, young lady.” He scolds, and you blush a little. He's not that much older than you, but the name still sends heat to your core sometimes. It's like being scolded by a teacher, and he knows it gets to you. “I'm going to make you fall apart on me, then we'll see who's too weak to handle you.” He warns, dangerously, as he settles you back above his mouth.
He pulls you in and you lose your resolve as soon as his mouth meets your cunt. You relax, your full weight pinning him down, and he moans out a happy ‘mmhmm’ from between your legs. You grind against his face, and your hands come to grab onto his blonde hair. He looks up at you and you can't hold it together anymore, cumming hard all over his face. He pushes you to a couple more, until he's satisfied and convinced you'll never think he can't handle you again.
“Fuck, Toshinori…you're so good.” You say,out of breath, as you climb off of him.
He pulls you down on top of him in a hug, holding you close to his body. “You're perfect. Say it.” He says, kissing your face. You blush, but you know he won't let you go until you do.
“I'm perfect.” You say, reluctantly.
“Your turn.” You prompt, poking him.
“I'm perfect.” He says, just as reluctantly as you did, but that's why you have each other to help.
“5 minutes. Then I'll make us some pork cutlets.” He says, nuzzling into your hair. You hum happily and rest.
Sir Nighteye just smiles. In a knowing, “already knew you would” way. He doesn't even need to use foresight on you, he knows you that well. So when he asks you to sit on his face and you hover your beautiful ass above his mouth, all shy (as if he hasn't been buried deep in you 1,000 times already) he chuckles. His smile spreads across his face, and he looks up at your blushy face.
“Ah-ah. This won't do.” He scolds. “What on earth has gotten into my girl?”
“I've gained weight, Mirai. I'm just worried I'm….too heavy” You say the words with a shame that is just unacceptable in his eyes.
“Too heavy?” He questions, gaze darkening. Then, your nerves about your body are completely thrown out the window as the nerves about what he's thinking take over. He frowns, frowns at you. “That sort of negativity has no place here, in our bedroom. You're aware that I think you're the most beautiful creation this earth has to offer, right?”
You blush, unable to fully resist the small smile that begins creeping up. He grips your hips in his hands, digging his fingers possessively into your flesh. “Why are you holding back that smile, darling? Will I need to take more…convincing measures?”
You immediately flash back to the other week, after having a nasty attitude with him got you tickled until you cried, and you shake your head. “No, sir!” He smiles again at your sudden obedience. He always knew just how to keep you in line, always caring for your benefit and happiness.
“Well, then. If you don't sit that beautiful pussy on me within the next 5 seconds, no amount of begging will save you.” He warns, a dangerous smile and an even more dangerous lookin his eyes. His vulgar words make you bashful again, but you do as he asks. He delves into you like a man starved, though every move is calculated. He licks around your sensitive nub with precision, large and long fingers coming to rub your entrance. When he feels you've soaked his hand enough he finally slides two fingers in, curling and thrusting just perfectly.
You hear him chuckle as you clench around him, feel his grin as he's lapping up your juices. When you release, cumming hard on his face, he keeps going, coaxing out as many more orgasms from you as he pleases. He's not happy until you're blissed out, a dopey smile on your face as you shake off the daze of your climax.
“You did well, darling. You're so beautiful when you're happy and relaxed like this.” He says, as he picks you up to carry you to the shower. He takes care of you, and ensures he never catches you talking down on yourself again. He even pays extra attention to your least favorite parts in the future, kissing and stroking them gently as if his hands could heal you.
Dabi is mean when you don't give him what he wants. His hands aren't meant to hold gently, his voice isn't meant to speak sweet nothings. Now, he'll praise you and compliment you, but he's not soft by any means. So when he says sit, he means SIT. You make the mistake of hovering, and he growls, irritated. “You fuckin kidding me? Whats your problem?” He asks, annoyed at your resistance. You're usually putty in his hands, just the way he likes. “I'm just….I feel like I'm too heavy, I don't know.” You say, growing more nervous about disappointing him now that you're voicing your insecurities. “Shut up, don't be stupid.” He scolds, gripping your hips with his hands harshly. His grip is firm, almost bruising. “You’re mine. Wouldn't make you mine if you weren't perfect. So stop talking shit about what I own. Or maybe I should burn my name into your skin so you remember?” He threatens, and you shiver. Your breathing is quickening, and he warms his hand with flames up just enough that it'll sting when he slaps your ass with a firm hand. You tell, and drop onto his mouth, unable to stay steady from the harsh slap. He licks you slowly, savoring it, taking his time. He doesn't let you cum right away, oh no, he makes you wait. Especially after testing his patience and making him convince you. He slowly sucks on your clit, bringing a finger to slip inside, savoring how wet you are.
“Oh, fuck! Can I cum?” You ask, desperation laced through your voice.
“Ah-ah. Hold it.” He scolds, continuing his ministrations with a dangerous smirk. He loves the way you fall apart, the way he can feel you clenching around his fingers as you chase your release.
“It's too much…I can't..” You whine, trying to hold back, but knowing you'll be overwhelmed soon. “Please..Touya?”
He lets out a dark chuckle, raspy and deep in his throat. “You gonna say any more stupid shit?” He asks, pulling away from your cunt for just enough time to speak, before diving back in. When you don't answer right away, he slaps your ass, causing you to cry out.
“N-no! I won't! I promise.” You plead, grinding against his face desperately as you hold back the orgasm that's been threatening to burst for far too long.
He pulls away, his gravelly voice cutting through your haze. “Alright, go ahead and let go. Show me how good I make you feel.” He instructs, before returning his mouth to your aching clit and coaxing you through the orgasm. You cum so hard your vision blurs, and you lose yourself for a few moments. You don't even notice at first that he's rolled you off of him and is above you, fingers still buried deep inside. You shudder as you come down, opening your eyes and taking in the sight of him above you. He pulls his fingers out, licking them before shoving them into your mouth, and you suck them clean. “That's it. Such a dirty fucking slut for me. You're all mine, aren't you?” He teases, and you blink up at him with dazed, bleary eyes.
“I'm all yours.” You whisper.
“Good.” He murmurs, brushing a strand of hair from your face. It's a rare, soft gesture, and it's punctuated by a quick kiss to your lips. He leaves you on the couch as he goes to get something to eat for the both of you. And though he's not one for cuddles, or too much gentle affection, he lets you rest your back to his chest while you relax together watching TV, and you feel his chin rest on your head. It's as loving as he can be right now, but it's enough to remind you that you're all he needs.
