The Billyvers are a 18+ discord server for everyone who is a friend of Billy Hargrove. It doesn't matter if or with whom you ship him - all Billy fans are welcome, as long as they know how to behave in fandom spaces.
We're pro-'ship and let ship' and anti-harassment.
To join, simply comment or send a direct message to OP. Reblogs of this post are appreciated <3
I LOVEEEEEE when people make Billy smart and not just like a depressed asshole, like yes that boy loves math,and science. He also 2000% reads like old books. I also guarantee that he tries to keep it on the downlow but he gets pissed off and shouts something that makes people realize that heās like super smart. Like Iām talking all AP classes, top of the class stuff. Please tell me someone else gets this ā¢_ā¢
I can so imagine a scenario where Billy and Steve have been screwing around for months, like months, and while Billy has plenty of experience with sex, heās never slept with anyone quite like Steve.
Steve who holds his hand during sex, Steve who gets off on Billyās pleasure, Steve who kisses him before and after and during, who likes cuddling, who doesnāt avoid being seen with Billy at all and actually starts hanging out with Billy at school and out of it, who invites him to play basketball in the park and to get food after, and to stay over at his house like every weekend.
Naturally, Billy thinks theyāre dating.
But they never talk about it. Somehow, for months of this, it never comes up in conversation how to define their relationship. Itās not exactly necessary, both of them being content as they are with what they have with each other. Whatever they think it is.
Until, of courseā¦
Senior Prom.
Billyās been dodging prom invitations left and right for two weeks now, leaving a trail of pouty glossed lips behind, claiming he has no interest in going to āthe party equivalent of daytime tvā. Steve hasnāt said anything about it except a half-muttered comment that he went to Junior Prom with Nancy, after which he immediately changed the subject. Billy assumed he didnāt want to go either.
Which is why Billyās surprised when he hears through the school grapevine that Becky Olson asked Steve to Prom and he said yes.
When Billy shows up at Steveās house after school that day, heās rage smoked half a pack of cigarettes and stewed in his anger all through the afternoon. Even Max heard about it all the way in the middle school, and offered to take Steveās bat to his balls. Billy drops Max off at home after promising that if he doesnāt kill Steve, heāll let her at him.
He lets himself into Steveās house (Steve always leaves the door unlocked for him) and goes straight to Steveās room (itās routine by now), where he finds him sitting on his bed, going through cassette tapes.
āHey, man,ā Steve says. Entirely unconcerned.
Billyās nostrils flare.
āWhat the fuck, Steve? Is that what youāre gonna say? āHey, manā?ā
Steve does look up then, and frowns at Billy, fucking confused. Like Billyās saying nonsense.
āYes? Hello? How was your day?ā Steve says, nose scrunching up. āWhat am I supposed to say?ā
Billy canāt fucking believe this. This whole time, Steveās been so- Now heās acting like he didnāt even do anything.
āMaybe start by telling me what the hell youāre thinking going to prom with some chick!ā He yells, like he hasnāt been cursing her name for at least two hours.
Steve gets up from the bed then, runs a hand through his stupid hair, crosses his arms. Billy can see heās closing himself off, going on the defensive right off the bat.
āWhy are you mad at me about this? You donāt even wanna go,ā Steve doesnāt raise his voice, but his words echo in the room same as a slap on his face would.
āI donāt know, Steve, maybe Iām mad my boyfriendās going on a date with some girl!ā
This isnāt making any fucking sense. Steve isnāt like this, an inconsiderate asshole going behind Billyās back. Heās sweet. Heās always been sweet.
Thereās something wrong here, and Billy canāt put his finger on it, and it just makes him angrier.
Steve rears back, brows going up, up, up towards his hairline, eyes wide, a sea of white around brown.
āBoyfriend?ā He repeats. Licks his lips. āHow- Why would you say boyfriend?ā
Billyās stomach sinks, takes everything in his abdominal cavity with it. He feels hollow, weighed down. All the fight has been sucked out of him.
Thatās why the conversation felt off.
"Because we've been dating for like, three months, Steve," Billy says, or forces out, and his voice comes out shaky.
They were. He thought they were. Steveās been- He holds Billyās hand. They go on dates, as much as they can while staying under the radar. Billy stays over most weekends. Itās never been like this with anyone else, for Billy, not even in California. Even Before.
Steveās eyes are still wide, but his eyebrows are doing the puppy dog thing, turned up at the inner corners like heās hurt.
āIā¦ā He starts, stops. Decides on something else. āWe never talked about this.ā
Billy rears back this time, feeling the sentence like a blow, and Steve follows him with a step forward, hand reaching out.
āI mean- shit,ā Steve says, stammers, runs a hand down his face. āI didnāt know you felt that way. About me. I thought you didnāt-ā
āWhat the fuck did you think when we were going on fucking dates, Steve?!ā
āYouāre my best friend!ā Steve says, and it stings. āWe do everything together!ā
āAnd suck each otherās dicks, too!ā
āI thought-ā
āThought what, this was some friends with benefits shit? If youāre my best friend and weāre boning, howās that different from a relationship, Steve?!ā
āWe never talked about it!ā Steve finally raises his voice, and the sound of it stuns Billy.
Steve makes an aborted motion with his hand, then again, before closing it into a fist by his side. He rubs at his eyes with his other hand, but not before Billy sees they are wet.
āIām not going to assume youāre in love with me, Billy! What if Iām wrong? What if I spend months thinking you love me and it turns out to be bullshit?ā
Steveās breathing hard as he finishes speaking, cheeks blotchy red, and hands shaking. He looks terrified right now, terrified Billyās going to give up on him and leave, going by how he glances from Billy to the door; terrified heās hurting Billy, because he keeps reaching out but doesnāt step any closer.
Billy feels something click, then, a piece of the puzzle that was grating on him with jagged edges smooths outs and slots into place. Thatās the Steve he knows, with his head tangled in so many feelings he canāt parse them out, but never uncaring. Never cold.
āWell, I do,ā Billy says, stepping closer to Steve.
He walk forward until their toes are almost touching, until Steve has to tilt his head down to look Billy in the eye. Billy takes a breath and raises an eyebrow, raises his chin, gives Steve his best smirk like wants to eat him alive. Takes a chance.
āI do love you. Whatcha gonna do about it?ā
Steveās eyes jump between his, mouth parted, like a man lost searching for something. Like heās looking at something holy. Billy feels tentative fingertips at his elbows, then fingers running up his triceps, until finally one of Steveās hands closes around his arm. The other continues up, up, a long tingling line to his neck, and Steve cups his jaw like something precious. Rubs his thumb on Billyās cheekbone, feather light, but Billy feels it like a brand.
āYou mean it?ā Steveās voice comes out in a ragged whisper, breath spilling over Billyās lips.
āI do.ā Theyāre so close. Billy wants to take in all of Steveās face, the way heās looking at Billy, with his eyes half lidded and his lips parted, like heās everything Steve could ever want.
āBasketball in the park,ā Steve says, out of nowhere, voice still low. āIn February. You complained about the cold the whole time but you still kicked my ass. I bought you a burger at the diner, after. That was our first date.ā
Billyās face splits into a grin so wide his cheeks hurt, and he bunches his hands in Steveās dumb polo shirt, pulls him closer until Steve has to lean down those two inches to press their foreheads together.
āI love you,ā Steve whispers against Billyās lips, āIām so in love with you.ā
Billy nods, barely moving his head, unwilling to part where theyāre touching, āām in love with you.ā
Their lips really touch then, feeling like the first time even if theyāve kissed a thousand times before, are as familiar with each otherās mouths as they are with their own.
The scrape of Steveās teeth against Billyās bottom lip pulls a moan out of Billy, and he presses himself tighter to Steveās body, pulls at his chest, his hips, wants to climb inside him and never leave.
No oneās ever felt like this. No oneās ever made Billy feel like this, this wanted, this needed, like the world starts and ends with them, together. Thatās why Billy was so sure they were together. It couldnāt be anything else.
Steveās the best thing thatās ever happened to Billy, and heās not gonna let him go without a fight.
I've been working on this for almost a month. This was a tough piece because it's 10 living beings in one. But it is done. :)
Yes, Demo!Steve has the prettiest pjs
