Let me in your heart again
3. Something’s missing
Vivian
Los Angeles / United States - Airport
The last view hours of our flight went by unspectacular. After my little comedic interlude earlier today, I preferred to maintain a low profile for the rest of the journey and stay on the sideline.
After almost 12 hours, filled with watching movies, listening music, editing photos and conversations with Roger, we arrived at our destination - sunny Los Angeles.
Roger, the little nosy scallywag he is, didn't insist to switch seats with Phoebe, to, as he called it, sweeten his day with me.
At least time flew and I learned something about the excessive life of a famous Rock band, as he amused me with stories about groupies and parties.
Whereas Freddie fell back into old patterns. After miming the nice guy for exactly two minutes, he was very busy to give me hell, with nasty remarks and potshots, for the remaining 718 minutes of the flight. Asshole!!
„We're standing here for about 30 minutes now, I think you should go meet the guys and head to the house." I say to him, as I dandle from one feed to another, with increasing worry. We were standing at the baggage claim, for what felt like ages, to wait for one of my suitcases to arrive. Unfortunately for the one, containing half of my photo equipment and to make it even worse, when I say photo equipment, I mean my sanctuaries.
After a horrible flight, the nightmare continues. A photographer without his camera, a really great start for my new job. Since meeting this Freddie guy, misfortune haunts me.
Phoebe, who wanted to help me with carrying my numerous suitcases and bags, tries to calm me in his soft soothing voice. "I'm sure your luggage will be here soon. We wait another 5 minutes."
"The others must be really pissed off already. You should go Phoebe. I can handle this on my own. I'll get me a taxi later." I try to refuse his offer. I don't even want to think about the impact, this delay will have on Freddie's state of mind. He hates me already, I don't want to aggravate the situation even more.
Phoebe notices my nervousness and starts to rub my back. "Don't be silly. I'll stay here with you. Don't puzzle your head about it. They can wait a little longer."
"Is everybody in Garden Lodge that stubborn?" A grin forms on my lips and I almost forget about my sorrows for a minute.
"You cheeky devil you." Phoebe smirks and pushes my shoulder.
"I just don't want to incur „the prince of darkness' wrath." I can't suppress a eye rolling, when suddenly Phoebe's cellphone starts to ring. I augur ill as I try to construe his mien.
"Freddie hi......
Wait, wait, wait.....Just give us another 10 minu.....
No, her bag is missing....no with the equipment.....
It's just 10 minutes Freddie....fine, see you in a view." he rashly ends the call, while screwing up his face.
"He already is furious, isn't he?"
I'm honest. I could cry right now.
Phoebe lets out a long haggard sigh „I'm afraid he is."
Facing the floor, I numbly shake my head. "Great. He'll give me hell. We've waited long enough now, I should speak to the airline staff." I declare, while starting to walk away.
"Ok, lets go. Let me take this" he affirms with a smooth smile, as he grabs one of my suitcases and we make our way.
* * * *
„Look who finally arrived. You better have a good excuse. We're cooling our heals for an hour now." A furious Freddie impatiently tabs his feet with crossed arms. His narrowed eyes burning holes into mine.
A weak and almost invisible „Sorry." comes over my lips, as I shamble towards the waiting group, standing in front of the parking van, that would bring us to our final destinations.
"If this is your excuse, you've failed miserably." he hisses, his expression turning even darker, so his eyes look almost black.
"Let's just go." I mumble absently, seeing Roger stepping in front of me, looking at Freddie grim-faced, laying his hands on my shoulders and searching for eye contact, with a worried look on his face.
I have to smile at him shyly, as I feel tears filling my eyes.
That's just wonderful. Don't start to cry in front of Mr Rock God. You have to be strong now.
"What's wrong Viv?" Roger whispers in concern, now patting my shoulder.
"Nothing that a rooftop and an AK-47 won't take care of." I quip.
Freddie slightly starts to chuckle at my reply. Maybe seeing me dead would lighten his mood.
Roger smiles weakly, as the others start to get into the van. „You have your luggage?"
"No, it's lost." I tell him concerned, fumbling in my bag.
"They send it somewhere else?" he asks, as he steps back a little.
Putting out my cigarettes, I face him again. „No, they don't know where it is." I stop him with a wave of my hands.
Yes, I put out my cigarettes. I really don't care if I smell like an ashtray anymore. Mr Mercury hates me anyway and maybe the smell will keep Casanova aka Roger away.
"I'm sure you'll get it back soon." he tries to convince me rather badly, stepping besides me, to lay his arm around my shoulder and rub my arm. Roger seems to be out of words for the first time in history.
Putting the cigarette in my mouth and lighting it, I just let out a weary hum, before taking the first puff.
We just stand their silently for a view minutes, as I hold the cigarette in front of Roger, to break the awkward silence.
"Thanks" he chirps with a wink and takes a puff.
"If looks could kill....we better get in." I mumble, as I notice Freddie shooting me a vicious glare, while stepping into the car with a face like thunder.
The fact, that I only have to survive one last car ride with him today, gives me new confidence. I can manage one ridiculous drive, all I have to do is stay silent and not be provoked by my new pal. Honestly, how hard can it be?
"Congratulations everybody, our personal standup comedian has finally made it into the car." I hear a posh British voice sarcastically addressing me, as I enter the van.
So much for it, my good intentions are already thrown overboard. If he wants war, he can have war!
"I'm pleased you enjoyed my little performance. Considering your omnipresent depressed look, I thought you could need something to raise your spirits." I hit back with a annoyed look, while seating myself between Phoebe and Roger, at the rear seat bench.
Blessedly there was some safe distance between Freddie and me, since Roger performed as a "Buffer", sitting between the two of us.
"You have to remember who you're talking to." Paul, sitting right in front of me, hisses, while turning around to face me.
"Paul, do what you do best and suck up to Freddie." I rumble, rolling my eyes.
Oops, did I really just say that?
In the corner of my eye, I can see Freddie leaning forward and looking at me. As I face him with raised brows, he shoots me a baffled look. Paul already turned around again, grumbling something with gritted teeth.
I'm afraid I may loose my job by the end of the day, but I really don't care. I've reached a point where - to cite Mr Freddie Mercury - nothing really matters to me. The point of no return so to say.
"For fuck sake kids, stop the bickering, we haven't even left the airport." an unnerved Brian exclaims livid, which causes Freddie and me to sit back in our seats and look at him in surprise.
I couldn't imagine Brian ever being so enraged.
For whatever reason, Freddie couldn't care less about Brian's advice and continues to squabble. „Oh, fu** off Brian. The only one acting like a child is her." He spits out, leaning forward again, to await my reaction.
"Says the man, who needs FIVE people to use the restroom." I snarl, looking in the opposite direction. With no sound coming from Freddie, I turn to face him, with the most devastating look I can manage.
"I mean, I do get why you take Paul there, he sticks in your ass anyway...but..."
"You little...." Freddie stifles, desperately searching for some clever words to end his sentence, while Roger has a hard time to suppress his laughter.
"Ouch...!" Roger whines, after Freddie forcefully hits him on the back of his head.
"Yes Freddie? ....Just get it off your chest. I dare him with a confident and defiant smile. My brows raised in anticipation.
Speechless Freddie gasps on his seat, his head turning red in rage, while his mouth twitches uncontrollably, by his hopeless situation.
„You little .... b-brat." he finally stammers, visibly dissatisfied with his shiftless remark. Trying to escape the awkwardness, he quickly leans back in his seat and turns away, to look out of the window.
"That's it? I think I can live with that." I giggle, a pleased smile forms my lips, as I lean back to face Phoebe. "You'll get along well, he?" I jibe. Phoebe just looks at me helplessly, shrugging his shoulders and trying to avoid my gaze.
Roger, still giggling, turns to Freddie. „Wow, that wasn't your best Fredster." he snickers, with a shake of his head.
"Oh fu** off Roger. You just being nice, cause you want to shag her." Freddie snaps, so everybody in and surely a view people outside of the car can hear him. I facepalm at his last comment, to elude Rogers gaze, who now sheepishly smiles at me.
"Is somebody jealous?", he teases Freddie, which results in another slap on his head.
Rubbing it, he lets out a murmur. "I don't hook up with mari...."
„Ouch!!" I elbow him, my eyes widened in panic, as I shoot him a reproachful look. After a view seconds, he lets out a plain "Oh", while shrugging apologetically. At least the penny's dropped.
Poor Roger, playing the buffer must be painful.
"Ok, ok, ok, everybody just calm down." a soft voice from the front of the car reaches out to us. Good old, placid John tries to sooth us with his smooth, serene tone.
The attempt unfortunately fails, as Roger decides, to teas Freddie a little more.
„I think someone has finally met his equal." he sarcastically quips to Freddie, who shoots him a death glare in response.
Considering this last ‚conversation', I really think, we all just went back to preschool.
Trying to relieve some of this gruelling tension, swirling around in the van, I start to make conversation to Roger.
"Will we get to the villa, or drop me off at my hotel first?" I ask casually, fumbling in my bag, searching for my cellphone.
Mr Beach informed me, that I would stay at a hotel, whereas the boys, Paul and Phoebe would be lodged in a villa in the Hollywood hills.
After the cheerful atmosphere between Freddie and me, I was more then grateful.
"Oh, now that you mention it." A now uncertain Roger starts to tell me. "You will be staying with us." He continues, backing up a little and turning his face away slightly, as being afraid, I could hit him due to his disclosure.
"Why the hell is this the current state of play? Who decided this, without even asking me?" I harshly whisper a tad to loud at him, before cussing him with some German swear words (something like ‚Trottel', ‚Idiot', ‚Depp', ‚Scheiße' and ‚Arsch', just to mention a view), my face turning deep red in frustration.
Roger stares at me in disbelief and try's to find the best way, to break it gently.
"Weee........I.IIII" he stutters. "I thought it would be a good idea. The house is sooo big and we get along so we" he tries to sugarcoat our gridlock, as I interrupt him with wrath in my voice.
"Are you suffering from amnesia or something? Did Freddie slap you to hard? You've noticed he devoted his life to hate me?!?!" I get carried away by my overwhelming frustration, before staring into my lap and deciding to ignore just everybody in this fucking car.
Keeping your mouth closed may be a good idea Vivian. I really don't want to spoil things with Roger too.
"Somebody has found a new victim.", an amused Freddie giggles next to Roger, looking at him with a grin from ear to ear. "So much for getting laid." He bursts out laughing, looking out of the window again, while Roger starts to tap my arm, to make me look at him.
I refuse to give in and fumble for my headphones.
Only music can make things right at this point.
With the shuffle mode set, I hit play, while closing my eyes and sinking into my seat.
‚This thing called love, I just can't handle it' It echoes in my ears. „This can't be true" I sigh, as my eyes spring open again. Mr Mercury is everywhere, even in my shitty phone.
‚This thing called love, I must get rou......' I tap wildly on my phone, to successfully stop the mocking sound of him.
‚Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time' , Freddie's voice reaches my ears again.
What the hell is going on here? Please lord, show mercy, I face the roof, sending prayers up, while tabbing my phone like a maniac, without any success, to stop his breathtaking voice. Did I just say that? It happens again. The devil enchanted me.
‚I feel alive and the world I'll turn it inside out, yeah', I let out a long miserable sigh, as I start to beat the phone against my leg, which results in my seat-mates staring at me in confusion.
‚And floating around in ecstasy', he still chirps in my ear, as I give up for a second, to reconsider my next step.
‚So don't stop me now don't stop me', „What the hell is wrong with this fucking phone...Oh noooo, I will stop you now, Mr fuc*** Mercury." I finally make the music stop. "Finally" I sigh satisfied, as I realize everybody is staring at me, waiting for an explanation for my questionable behavior. I freeze by Freddie's words, as I feel uncertainty growing in me.
"I'm pleased I'm such a big deal for you." Mr Mercury hums brazenly, twinkling at me, with a big smug grin, plastered on his face. A face I want to slap right now.
Deciding to just ignore him, I put away my useless, sneaky phone.
Freddie, being disappointed by my refusal, now is incited to start teasing.
"You've lost your camera?" He eagerly chirps.
„Brilliant deduction Watson, you catch on fast, really impressive." I mumble in boredom, not even looking at him.
„Than I have a suggestion for you. Without a camera and the fact you don't want to stay with us, I think it's best for you, to book the next flight back to London. I mean, you are more than useless at the moment." He submits buoyant, looking at me challenging, with his sparkling eyes.
„Fortunately I was smart enough to bring a second and a third camera with me." I retort, while putting on the most plastic smile possible.
Freddie's mood now darkens, as he realizes, I won't be intimidated by his words.
"It would be smart to search for a REAL job now." He spits tamely, looking at me, as if regretting, to not come up with something better.
I smile at him cheekily. "Considering what I will get paid here, I don't have to worry about a "real" job......FOR YEARS." I stifle the conversation.
This answer marks the turning point for him. He lets out a deep growl, pushes his now clenched fist to his knee, before pattering something for the next 5 minutes.
At this point I wish I could just keep my mouth shut for one minute. I still have no clue what is going on here. Usual Vivian already would've been crying several times throughout the day and surely wouldn't have the strength and courage to raise her voice, like I did over and over again.
It's death proof. I will experience hell for the next two years.
Roger brings me back to messy reality. "2:0 for Viv." He giggles towards Freddie.
I give him a slight push again, to make him stop, making things even worse.
„Roger, don't always meddle in my business.", Freddie spits at him, his narrowed eyes fixed on me.
Roger decides to ignore my objections and cheerfully babbles away. "Someone has to and make you stop, you're acting ridiculous."
I take Freddie as an example and sink into my seat again, trying to cut off from the outside world and maintain silent for the rest of the drive.
The other co-drivers follow our lead and drowse after this exhausting flight.
Not a sound is to be heard, as we're getting closer to our destinations.
I am almost asleep, as the van suddenly hits a monstrous pothole. It must have been huge, cause everybody bounced up from their seats.
„Vivian darling, fasten your seatbelt, we are excepting further turbulences. And don't forget to breathe." Freddie suddenly giggles out in his smug, disdainful tone.
„Freddie, do you never get tired?" an annoyed Brian asks him, glancing at him, while I roll my eyes and let out a bugged sigh.
„I hear an annoying, monotonous drowning in my left ear all the time.", I say playfully, while rubbing my ear. "Anybody else here, with the same problem?", I go further, looking around.
Freddie blankly shakes his head and finally keeps silent and stops his taunting for the rest of the drive.
* * * *
The enjoyable and long-yearned-for peaceful silence unfortunately is interrupted, as Roger suddenly speaks up. „Ehm Fred, there's a big fat spider hanging in front of you.", he taps Freddie on the arm, trying to get his attention. Freddie was fallen asleep 30 minutes ago and is now looking around in confusion, almost unable to open his eyes.
„What?", he mumbles sleepy, while stretching out in his seat and trying to find a comfy position.
„There's a big fat spider hanging in front of you.", Roger declares again, pointing at the ugly black monstrosity, hanging right in front of Freddie's nose.
Looking at it with panic filled, widened eyes, vigorously pressing his back into his seat and waving around with his arms and hands, as if to fend a swarm of killer bees, Freddie lets out a high pitched scream. One that sounds, as if somebody just kicked him in his balls. Or more suitable for a Freddie Mercury, his Crown Jewels.
I'm unable to laugh about it, beeing to busy to look panicked and move myself away from the place of action, closer and closer to Phoebe. So close, I almost sit on his lap.
„Jesus Christ Freddie, it's just a spider." , an annoyed Roger exclaims, raising his brows in incomprehension.
„Keep it away, keep it away.....just kill it. Just be useful for only one time and kill this fuc*** thing.", a tensed Freddie presses out, his voice slightly cracks at his last words.
Roger grabs the spider and moves to face me, coming closer....a bit too close. "You wanna take a look?" He smiles at me, before noticing my scared state.
I shake my head like crazy, moving back even more, as I try to breath evenly. "Oh god, are you mad? Just stay away, or you and your hairy friend will not survive this journey.", I hiss at him.
„Oh god, relax. It's a fucking spider, guys." Roger looks back and fourth between the two of us, with pure incomprehension.
Freddie finds his voice again by Rogers words. "It's a disgusting hairy monster.", he hisses at Roger, his face distorted with fear and disgust.
I only can nod at Freddie's last statement. "Everything with more than 4 legs is the enemy. Please just kill it." I plead Roger, my hands clenched in the seat.
You've already heard about my multiple anxieties.....you just discovered a new one.
Those little many-legged creatures scare me to death.
„With my hands?", Roger asks irritated....shooting me a questioning glance.
I can't handle it anymore at this point. Either the spider has to leave this car, or it's me. I will jump right out of the window, if necessary. "Just kill it Roger!!!! Please just get it out of here. I don't care what you do with it, as long as it is out of this car in less than 10 seconds.", I exclaim, fumbling in my bag and putting out a tissue.
"Here....", I say, handing it to Roger.
Roger, being extremely dull at this moment, looks at me disbelievingly. You can see the question marks popping out of his head. "What is this for?" He asks baffled.
„Put it in there and squash it!", I tell him quickly, trying to imitate the 'process of squashing a spider' with my hands.
Roger looks away at his hands, shaking his head with an eye roll. "You two are such babies. At least you've got something in common.", he determines. "Who would have thought that?!"
„Oh yes Roger. It's just wonderful. Now we can discuss our arachnophobia over a cup of tea.", I scoff sarcastically, almost relaxing a bit in my seat.
Freddie's chuckle makes way for his frightened face, as Roger kills the spider with a loud crack, which lets Freddie and me groan in disgust. "Is everybody happy now?"
A satisfied sighing Freddie relaxes in his seat and turns to face the window, as his cheeks start to glow.
I have to screw up my face by the cracking sound. „I think I have to vomit...and it's not because Paul is here.", it rashly escapes my lips, which results in giggles from Freddie, Phoebe and Roger and, of course, a scornful gaze from Paul.
Did Mr Mercury just giggle? I can see a bright future for the both of us.
Chapter 4 coming soon....
Also published on wattpad:
Read 3. Something's missing from the story Let me in your heart again by ready82 with 39 reads. firststory, firstfanfi...