God Damn Problem

Once upon a time, there was a happy little girl... Then she grew up and turned into a monster. Reagan Scott Vampire Mistress Of: suspended

[joshxharris-blog]

“I would hope you do. But..” he smirked “I think you enjoy being a mystery to people. And maybe you’re also enjoying that I slowly learn to figure you out…”  Josh chuckled softly against her hand. “Found a new pet name for me?” His ups turned into yet another soft smile, his lips moving against her finger trailing over them and shrugged “Maybe just where you’re concerned.”

[reagan--scott-blog]

“I’ve never paid attention to my sense of fun until now.” She smirked right along with him. “Oh, you’re figuring me out, are you?” Another nod. “I will be very impressed when that happens.” Her attention fell to his mouth, watched the way he smirked under her touch. “Until I can find the perfect name, I will have many for you.” Her head cocked then, tilting to the side just a bit as her attention pulled up to him. Her thumb caught his chin, tugged at his bottom lip before she pulled him closer to her so her lips were just barely brushing over his. “I’m all yours.”

[joshxharris-blog]

Josh could barely reply, only got out a brief “I don’t want you to…” when his head was pulled back suddenly and pain radiated from the tiny wounds on his neck. What overpowered anything else however, was an acute feeling of relief at still being wanted, maybe even still being needed by her. Most times, Josh felt like this was almost the only thing he could really do for Rea, the only thing that he felt like was some kind of gift he could willingly give to her.  He moaned softly as her teeth sank in, this time way less careful than during the first time, but not less welcome. Giving her pleasure probably actually gave more to him than to her. And knowing that Ben didn’t take that from him, that this wasn’t something anyone could take from him made it only sweeter. He felt his blood leave his body in an odd sensation and weakly lifted his hands to her waist, holding onto her, as he began to feel his knees shake at the onslaught of emotion and sudden weakness.

[reagan--scott-blog]

His quiet words echoed in the back of her head. He didn’t want her to wait. The boy still seemed to amaze her in a way. As tiny and frail as she thought him to be in the beginning, it was nothing like what stood before her. He took punishment and humiliation better than most people. And he wanted her, for some unknown reason. And she wanted him, doubted that would ever change. Josh had a bigger impact on her than he realized. And most times, that she realized.

The noise he made when her teeth sunk was enough to bring a hum out of her and as her mouth tightened on him, that hum only intensified. She felt his hands at her waist, felt him holding on as his body swayed under her. She moved, pushed him carefully back until he was pinned between her and a wall. By the time his back touched, her tongue was making its way over those tiny wounds, cleaning up her mess.

Her body pressed firmly against his and the hand that was in his hair had moved to cup his cheek, to turn his face to hers. She dragged blood stained lips over his jaw until her lips caught his own.

[joshxharris-blog]

“Who knows what you’d find most amusing…” he chuckled “I can see you sitting back all relaxed and having me fight everyone. Like a tiny gladiator without the strength but dirty tricks.” His smirk was replaced by a warm and soft smile anther words. “That’s good to know then.” Not ready to let go of the teasing mood quite yet, Josh added “But what makes you think I’d be good at sharing.”

[reagan--scott-blog]

She gave a little nod, slow and understanding. “Yeah, that’s a good question actually. Who knows.” Leaning over a bit, she nudged him with her shoulder. “My tiny little gladiator.” With a smile, she brushed knuckles over his jaw before her hand twisted so her fingers could trace his bottom lip. “Are you getting stingy, little dove?”

[ezrawhite-blog]

“Soooo, it doesn’t mean as much. Duh.”

[reagan--scott-blog]

“Shut up.”

[ezrawhite-blog]

“Maybe.” Ezra didn’t complain or anything, even when he began to feel even the slightest bit lightheaded. That was probably his own fault. The kiss signified the end to her feeding and he leaned back against her, head turning to look at her, eyes glancing over her features. “Better, or did you need more?” He asked, trying to gauge some form of reaction from her.

[reagan--scott-blog]

Feeling him lean back against her, she smirked, but it was his question that made her laugh. “Better,” she said with a nod. “I thought I told you not to worry about my eating habits.” There was a soft little hum that came from her as an arm came around to hold him to her. “Have you eaten?”

[reagan--scott-blog]

[a note left on Rea’s pillow]

Hey!

Ezra is being weird and apparently has been avoiding me for the last few days, which is why he hasn’t been around at all. To be honest, I’m a bit worried about him. He’s not at his best right now and I think being around you and here would be good for him. I would have told you earlier, but I was worried about breaking his trust.  I moved my blankets down to the cell, so he can feel safe here. At least for a few nights. Take care of him? And maybe come and visit me? Love,  J <3

--She had almost missed the note left for her. After climbing into bed, she had just started to fall asleep when she heard the crinkle of paper under her head. Snatching it out from under her, she read it over. And then again, and then again.

What?

She had no problem taking Ezra in for a couple days, or however long he needed, but Josh moving his blankets to the cell just didn’t sit right with her. With a huff, she threw the blankets off and let bare feet hit the floor.

It wasn’t until she was at her front door that she even remembered to put pants on. After slipping into a pair of shorts, she hustled to her car and sped her way down toward the Cells. She didn’t have much time before the sun came up to figure this out.

[joshxharris-blog]

He wasn’t sure when exactly it had happened, but sometime after moving in with her, this spot, huddled close, almost on top of her with his head resting on her chest, had become his favorite. Lying like this, with her arms wrapped around him and her hand in his hair, he felt like he belonged, like this was home. He chuckled softly and after, smiled into her skin. She was happy with him. Just him apparently.  Her teasing sound made him look up, chin resting on his folded hand on her upper chest. “A game, huh? And what would that look like? I’d have to fight through the masses to make my way to you?” He smirked and after a moment he asked with a mischievous smile “And what if I don’t want that? I probably wouldn’t be good competition and then I’d have to fight dirty.”

[reagan--scott-blog]

She didn’t bother to think much of it. He was hers and the moment her suspension was up, it would be legal. There was something so different, so calming with him in her home she knew she’d never be able to go back to how it was before. Looking down to him with his chuckle, her nose wrinkled with her smile. “A game,” she agreed with a nod before she flat out laughed. “You think you’d have to fight in it?”

Reaching, she pushed back a bit of hair from his forehead. “The idea of you fighting dirty excites me, I wont lie, but you wouldn’t fight the masses in such a game. You’ve already won. We’d let the others fight for the other spot in my home. :

[joshxharris-blog]

She was clearly enjoying herself, paying attention to every spot she chose to stop at. His body moved closer to her without him even noticing, but otherwise remained still. Only little, soft whines were audible, cause by her lips and teeth, but mostly by not knowing when she would decide to stop the teasing. “I think… I think it’s not you, but… me?”His voice was full of hesitation and maybe a bit of embarrassment. “I thought… you were hungry…but you didn’t. . I thought you didn’t want to anymore… after Ben.”

[reagan--scott-blog]

She did love the sounds he made because of her, and when he moved closer, she smiled against the cruve of his neck. Fear seemed to be engrained in him, and while it was a smart way to live here, it wasn’t always called for. There was a line she needed to show him, one that would make life much easier at some point. “I never said I didn’t want to anymore.” She doubted she could ever not taste him again. “I just wanted to wait.” Her hand came up to the back of his head, fingers tangling up in his hair to hold onto him. If he was so sure he was ready for her, then she wouldn’t question him anymore. She found the soft spot just above the curve and her tongue danced to find the vein. Without much warning, she sunk her teeth in, tightening her grip in his hair just a smidge.

[ezrawhite-blog]

“It’s just me, so.”

[reagan--scott-blog]

“So..... ?”

[ezrawhite-blog]

“Should you really be swearing to holy things?” He mused, but didn’t fight her grip. He tilted his head slightly to the side to give her a bit more room.  He flinched a little when her teeth broke skin, and he whined softly before quieting down and allowing her to feed.

[reagan--scott-blog]

“Why  not? What would happen, I get sent to hell?” She snorted, letting out a little laugh. He whined an awful lot, it seemed to be the one consistent sound that came out of him. Not that she was complaining, she was growing accustomed to it. She did her best to remain gentle with him and her grip remained loose, only taking from him just enough to take the edge off of her hunger. And then maybe just a little bit more. Running her tongue along the little pinpricks, she did her best to clean up any of the blood that may have gotten away from her before pressing her lips against the side of his neck.

[joshxharris-blog]

He shuddered as her lips moved swiftly over his face. Unsure what to do with his hands, his fingers twitched and clenched, but his arms remained hanging by his side. Moving his head to the side, baring his neck and granting more access to her, he whispered “I think… I’m afraid of everyone and everything.”

[reagan--scott-blog]

She let her lips run along the curve of his neck, taking a second to swirl her tongue over the spot. She almost smiled at the way he canted his head for her, and as she let her fingers dance down his arms, she let out a hum. “What is it...” Trailing off, she let her teeth scrape over his flesh, nipping before her tongue swirled again. “..about me that...” She pressed her body against his and a another kiss to his neck. “.. frightens you?”

[joshxharris-blog]

He rolled his eyes as her hands caught his face, but couldn’t suppress a smile at her kiss. “If I remember correctly, it will hurt either way. But… it’s you. And you…need to feed. And I… I don’t want to be afraid of you.”

[reagan--scott-blog]

Keeping his chin in her hand, her lips trailed over his temple, down along his jawline. “Are you afraid of me?”  Still they moved lower, slowly making their was along the side of his neck.  

[ezrawhite-blog]

“Uhh, nope. Not really.”

[reagan--scott-blog]

“Fabulous. I hope you’re okay with that.”

[ezrawhite-blog]

“Ehh, depends.” He didn’t resist her pull and he hummed quietly. “Wherever is tastiest to you, doesn’t make a difference to me.” 

[reagan--scott-blog]

“I swear to all things holy that you would be the only person indecisive about where I stick my teeth.” With her hand still wrapped around his wrist, she twisted him, turning him so his back was pressed to her chest. Letting loose his wrist, her fingers trailed up his arms to catch the collar of his shirt, tugging it aside, her lips trailed over the curve where his neck met his shoulder. There was a little laugh that came, something tiny just before she sank her teeth into flesh.

[joshxharris-blog]

“I’m not. Maybe you are.” He pouted up at her. “I’m not…saying that you can’t do that with other people. You can obviously. And… maybe you need to - I don’t know. But I told you - I’m ready. I was ready the day after. I offered then too, remember?”

[reagan--scott-blog]

“I’m not.” She held back the smirk at his pout, catching his chin in her hand. “I love that face,” she just barely whispered as she leaned in, pressing a kiss to his forehead. After another moment, she let out a little sigh. “Yes, I remember. I don’t want to hurt you, Josh.”

[joshxharris-blog]

That little sigh, the way she looked at him - he wasn’t entirely sure what it was that he saw in it. Happiness, maybe? Confusion? Affection? Or every imaginable emotion mixed into a wild combination? Whatever it was, it was beautiful to drown in. Everything had been so immensely fucked up, his own thoughts anywhere but the presence, the atmosphere shifted to some weird somber tip toeing. Now, for this one moment and with that smile on her face, things were okay. 

His smile came easy if not still a bit shy and subdued. “That’s good then. Just imagine if everyone would see you like I do. People would fight to get noticed by you. I would just be able to watch from afar,” he joked but not without some truth behind it. The kiss to his knuckles was what finally made his resolve crack. Maybe tomorrow, or eve later tonight it would change again, but for right now this felt right. Moving closer, Josh rested his head on its usual and familiar spot on her chest. “Anytime”

[reagan--scott-blog]

There was no telling what was going on behind the surface. Too much, probably. A hectic mix between every emotion she has ever felt coupled with a few she wasn’t used to. She let out a laugh at that imagery. “Thank god you’re the only one who sees me like this, then.” He was proving to be enough, him and Ezra combined... were more than enough for her mental stability. She did her best not to instantly curl herself around him when he moved closer. She let him get situated, let his head get comfortable before she bothered to wrap her arms around him.

“I’m happy just keeping you.” One arm wrapped around him, held him close while the other found its spot in his hair, fingers running lightly over his scalp. “Though, I’m sure we could make a fun game out of it.” With a smirk, she turned her head in, pressed her lips to the top of his head. 

[joshxharris-blog]

He tried for a small smile when she brushed his hair from his forehead, but it probably came out more like a forced grimace. Still, he didn’t mind her fingers in his hair. Never had and probably never would. He never expected to enjoy these little things the most between them, but the way she always seemed to have her hands in his hear did something to him. Josh wanted to try again, to give her a genuine smile, but then she was moving away and he panicked. He didn’t want her to go, wanted to be by himself, but needed her there more. His hand was tangled within the blanket and he struggled to get it out in time to reach for her. She was too quick, had already stood up and all he could do was to let out a pathetic little whine.

She would come back, he knew that. And still, he couldn’t make his body react accordingly. Instead of calling out for her, he squeezed his eyes shut again and waited. He hadn’t moved even an inch until she got back, arms trembling from how hard they’d been clenching the blanket, pulling it closer around himself. But then the mattress dipped and she was back, right were she had been and he let out a relived sigh. This time he let her pull the cover away, stayed quiet as she talked but watched first the jar and then her fingers. The way she explained her every move as if he was a scared deer should have been awkward, but in reality, it only made him appreciate her more. The cream was cold; even with her warning, his muscles reacted instantly to the sensation and his sudden jerk made the welts flare up. It didn’t give him instant relief; the constant dull pain remained, but the cold gave him something else to focus on instead. It wasn’t until she actually touched the wounds, that he let out another sound. The pressure on them made it worse and although he knew that it would help in the end, he could barely stand it. Josh tried to muffle his pained whines, covered his mouth with his hand first, and then bit into the fleshy part between thumb and fingers as she continued.

[reagan--scott-blog]

He wasn’t going to get rid of her anytime soon. She would be close to him as much as she possibly could. If there wasnt a need to keep up normal appearances, she would have taken time off work to be with him every second of the day, but she couldn’t. Which meant he would get no personal space for a while. Hearing that whine solidified it. The fact that he reacted in such a way to her absence forced the realization  that she was never letting him into her mind. 

She hated seeing him hurt, and even though she wasn’t watching his face, the sounds he made hurt her more than anything else. “I know.” She cooed, doing her best to keep as little pressure as possible on the welts. She moved the cream along the lines in quick, soft, and swift swipes. She was careful, precise in her movements. One after the other without much time spent in between. Once all the visible welts were covered in the lidocaine mixture, she pulled her hand back, wiped it on her pants and capped the jar, letting it fall to the bed without much thought. “Okay, turtle dove. We’re all done.” 

Crawling back up to him, she reached to take him hand from his mouth, not wanting him to break the skin. “It’s okay.” She wrapped her hand around his, used it as a barrier between his teeth and his hand. She hated not being able to hold him to her, not being able to comfort him. “Give it a second to work, it wont take it all away, but it will ease the sting.”