The 12 Steps of Recovery, rev. mymentals’s housemate
Over the past couple of months I’ve started attending 12-step meetings. The fellowship is great, but as a very secular person, I have struggled with the steps that invoke a “higher power,” at least in putting such abstractions into concrete concepts. My housemate sent me this revised list, and I’m going to try to apply it henceforth. I don’t think I will ever fully buy into the 12-step method as an effective way to treat some of the things it is supposed to, but there aren’t many options around, so.
The 12 Steps of Recovery, rev. mymentals’s housemate
Acknowledge that I cannot drink safely at any time, that bad shit happens to me every single time and it tears my life to shreds.
Come to believe that I am a) worth living happily and sober b) that I have the power to do things differently - I can change maladaptive and destructive patterns of thought, behavior and action, and make wise choices to stay sober and happy
Become willing to do things differently and make healthy choices in my thoughts, behaviors and actions through various methods, be it CBT, suggestions from wise friends, my sponsor, my father’s wisdom, a therapist, meditation and the development of my own inner strength and wisdom.
Look at the patterns of thought and behavior that don’t serve me and keep me angry, depressed, upset and led me to use. Where resentments are concerned, acknowledge my part, be it ever so small, so I can empower myself to change these patterns and have compassion for others. Recognize that interacting with unhealthy people is foolish and causes me harm.
Reflect on these patterns, discuss them with someone if necessary and fully acknowledge that these things harm me and cannot continue.
Become willing to surrender these negative patterns of thought, behavior and actions, including drinking or other addictive behavior, unhealthy romantic entanglements with douchebags, unhealthy job settings and unhealthy people.
Take the necessary action to change these maladaptive patterns, to end unhealthy relationships and continue to take action that leads me to sobriety, sanity and wellness.
Make a list of persons that I have harmed and become willing to make amends to them.
Make direct amends to such people, whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them, myself or others.
Continue to watch for maladaptive behavior, without judgment, and take action to change it. Be kind and apologize when I am in the wrong. Drive like a Taoist.
Involve myself in positive activities, such as dance, travel, learning in classes, exercise, meditation, going to museums and readings, writing and cooking. Hang out with positive and spirit-lifting people to participate in life and keep moving forward, away from my addictive past.
Develop an ethical compass. Treat others with respect and compassion, live with wisdom and generosity. Give back to the community when possible and to others in recovery while employing healthy boundaries. Live an example of a positive, open-hearted, honest, ethical life and put the shopping cart back where it belongs in the grocery store parking lot.
(I’m not sure what she meant with the grocery buggy analogy, I’m just goin’ with it.)
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