This Is The Real Coco Jumbo From Jjba

I am a turtle, I have a stand. I hid seven people in my hotel room for like a week and they tossed me around like a football.

[realcocojumbo]

Hello, nice to meet you all.

I am a turtle with a stand and my name is coco jumbo, but feel free to call me by my nickname: turtle.

I currently have the ghost of Jean Pierre polnareff living rent free in my hotel room, eating all of my food and shitting in the zipper hole in my closet.

Feel free to ask me questions or feed me lettuce. I also like shrimp that’s good. And apples I like those. And dried crickets those taste good. Ill eat spaghetti too that’s also good.

[abbacchio-answers]

@inquirepannacottafugo @ask-pannacotta-fugo @ask-badlydrawnfugo @narancia-answers @ask-crappy-mista @ask-mista @ask-bucciarati @ask-stickyandfriends @ask-trish @giorno-askvanna @realcocojumbo yes I’m tagging the fucking turtle @liberal-fugo @thisuglybastard @chip-anon

Ok. I think it’s time. For you to know. The awful truth. The truth about me and the truth about you.

You guys have no talents. You all suck. Regardless I am hosting a talent show.

A talent show? I’m so excited

Wow Abbacchio you’re the best!

Thanks Abbacchio!

How are you going to pull it off?

Why are you the host?

What types of talents can I do?

Voting ended onMay 1, 2025

Ok, I’ll answer all your questions. And thanks to my fans.

Question one: yes, a talent show. I’m excited too

Question 2: yes, I am the best.

Question tres: you’re welcome. Unless you’re giorno. Fuck you giorno.

Question 5: because I came up with the idea.

Question six: anything you want. I really don’t care. Be weird. Be brave. Juggle. Fail at doing magic. Bucciarati I know where the fucking rabbit went I heard the zipper.

Question 4 (haha you thought I was leaving out four Mista! Hahahaha I wasn’t leaving it out): give me some time I’ll figure it out.

But yes, a talent show. Hosted by Abbacchio (me). All are welcome. I just can’t remember everyone’s URLs but anyone else can join this shit. Even La squadra. Ok let me figure out how I’m gonna do this.

[realcocojumbo]

I mostly eat and sleep with my days. That a good enough talent?

[realcocojumbo]

Everyone knows Mario is cool as fuck. But who knows what he's thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think about him as fondly as we think of the mystical (nonexistent?) Dr Pepper? Perchance.

I believe it was Kant who said "Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play." Mario exhibits experience by crushing turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating "Lets-a go!" Keep it up, baby!

When Mario leaves his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows that he may Die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero,but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind. Perchance.

Thanks for sending me this and reminding me I’m not the top of the food chain.

[chip-anon]

@narancia-answers

Sup wants some chips?

[narancia-answers]

HELL YEAH :D

Do you think you can make vegetable chips for the turtle? So next time I feed him I don't get in trouble again 😔

[chip-anon]

Yes! I’ll make him some vegetable chips! Veggie sticks

[narancia-answers]

Yay! :D @realcocojumbo come get some grub 😈

[realcocojumbo]

Yes! I’m the grub getter!!

[realcocojumbo]

I made a fun snack for you!

One blueberry wrapped in a small kale leaf, held together with a toothpick that I made out of a piece of carrot. All of these are very healthy for turtles.

Oh goody!!! I do like this snack! Thank you!

[realcocojumbo]

Im sorry you had to endure the mafia fighting over you

Have some sushi

Thanks!!! I love sushi!

[ask-bucciarati]

Ok, so who wants to live with me and who wants to live with Abbacchio?

(We are both living in the same place but for dramatic effect)

@inquirepannacottafugo @ask-pannacotta-fugo @ask-trish @narancia-answers @ask-mista @ask-crappy-mista

Also, who the fuck freed sex pistol #4????? I thought he was banished to the dungeon forever?

[realcocojumbo]

I’ll stay with you bucciarati because you have better taste in food I can steal

[narancia-answers]

I am FUCKING UP some celery rn 🤤

[realcocojumbo]

I wish I was FUCKING UP some celery right now

[ask-bucciarati]

Spent hours folding one fitted sheet. I would like all of you to look at it because I am very proud

(It’s just a terrible looking ball)

@narancia-answers @inquirepannacottafugo @ask-mista @ask-crappy-mista @ask-trish @ask-pannacotta-fugo @abbacchio-answers @giorno-askvanna @realcocojumbo

[realcocojumbo]

I’m a turtle

[herpsandbirds]

Midland Smooth Softshell Turtle (Apalone m. mutica), juvenile, family Trionychidae, Arkansas, USA

photograph by Peter Paplanus

[realcocojumbo]

Who is the coolest turtle in town

Me (coco jumbo)

Literally any other trurtle

Voting ended onApr 2, 2025

[realcocojumbo]

You guys wish you had this much cool guy energy

[realcocojumbo]

Turtles Turtkes Thrtles Tirtles Tirtles Tirtles Tirtels Turtels Tirtles Turtles

[would-you-punt-them]

Turtles

Punt them into the Sun?

PUNT!

Don't punt!

Voting ended onMar 26, 2025

[realcocojumbo]

Im sory I fed you homework, I thought yall could eat paper :( Can I make it up to you with some orange slices?

- @narancia-answers

Thanks for feeding me the paper, it tasted awful though but food is food. Yes! I would love some orange slices! But not the peel though.

Talking to you is much easier than talking to Fugo, with all of his grammar and big words and educational way of saying things.

[narancia-answers]

Yeah paper doesnt have the best taste but its a quick snack 🤷🏻‍♂️

And also I know, Im just way cooler and older (more mature) than Fugo so that's why its so easy to talk to me 😈

[realcocojumbo]

Paper is my favorite quick snack, I’m still deciding on my favorite long snack.

You are the coolest in the group, you are right about that part. Fugo is the least cool. And uhhhhh yeahhh I definitely knew you were older than Fugo, I definitely didn’t think Fugo was older, hahahahhh.

[narancia-answers]

Yay!! Fugo is so lame sometimes 💀💀

Giorno told me that paper is bad for you so I guess we should find something better. I dont have any ideas tho 💔

[realcocojumbo]

Yes, but I think we should avoid snacking on anything in Mistas room. I like to eat just about anything, but I’ve decided that Mistas room is full of evils that I should stay clear of.

Maybe styrofoam?

[narancia-answers]

Hmmm, yeah i dunno. Styrofoam is super messy, that's the main issue. Maybe cardboard is a good middle ground?

[realcocojumbo]

Cardboard. Sure, that does sound like a good snack! Like a chewier paper. And I’m sure it’s healthy to eat!

[realcocojumbo]

Im sory I fed you homework, I thought yall could eat paper :( Can I make it up to you with some orange slices?

- @narancia-answers

Thanks for feeding me the paper, it tasted awful though but food is food. Yes! I would love some orange slices! But not the peel though.

Talking to you is much easier than talking to Fugo, with all of his grammar and big words and educational way of saying things.

[narancia-answers]

Yeah paper doesnt have the best taste but its a quick snack 🤷🏻‍♂️

And also I know, Im just way cooler and older (more mature) than Fugo so that's why its so easy to talk to me 😈

[realcocojumbo]

Paper is my favorite quick snack, I’m still deciding on my favorite long snack.

You are the coolest in the group, you are right about that part. Fugo is the least cool. And uhhhhh yeahhh I definitely knew you were older than Fugo, I definitely didn’t think Fugo was older, hahahahhh.

[narancia-answers]

Yay!! Fugo is so lame sometimes 💀💀

Giorno told me that paper is bad for you so I guess we should find something better. I dont have any ideas tho 💔

[realcocojumbo]

Yes, but I think we should avoid snacking on anything in Mistas room. I like to eat just about anything, but I’ve decided that Mistas room is full of evils that I should stay clear of.

Maybe styrofoam?

[giorno-askvanna]

Giorno, why can't I eat paper? Fugo said its a 'plant product' or some bullshit, but we eat plants, right? Isn't paper kinda like a leaf or lettuce then?

- @narancia-answers

We can consume other plants, like cabbage or carrots, because they’re made for humans to eat.

And while eating paper is “fine” in small quantities, eating too much at one time can cause digestive issues, since it won’t digest fast enough by the time it passes through your digestive tract.

It also doesn’t taste very good, I can’t imagine why you’d want to eat paper, my friend.

[realcocojumbo]

Is that really how it works? All the other turtles always told me that paper was a leaf. They didn’t know where it came from, but it would end up in the pond. It doesn’t taste good, but us turtles eat anything. Or maybe it was just me that would eat anything?

Even though it tasted gross, I am thankful Narancia fed me his math homework recently!

[giorno-askvanna]

Narancia…ugh, this boy. Fugo will have some choice words for him.

Also, Coco Jumbo, tortoises have much different digestive systems than humans do. I don’t find it surprising that you can eat things humans cannot, though I still do not think it’s healthy for you to be consuming so much paper…

[realcocojumbo]

Oh I know the paper is definitely unhealthy for me! I just like to eat! Sometimes I don’t even realize I’ve eaten the paper, I just see food and start eating it!