they took our girl

god is dead and staff killed her

[would-you-punt-them]

WOULD YOU PUNT THEM INTO THE SUN?

(run by @hot-take-tournament)

Is there a character you would like nothing more than to punt directly into the fucking Sun?

Well, now's your chance! Send them flying!

Submit characters through the ask box!

NOTE: We are currently not accepting characters from Persona 3 because I'm playing it blind and don't want to be spoiled.

Rules:

0. Return my child to me. What did she even do. You took her and left me with nothing.

1. Characters who are punted into the Sun are erased from existence.

2. The Sun's hunger can never be sated.

3. There aren't necessarily any rules for who or what you can and can't submit, but I'd rather that you didn't submit real people (unless it's really funny), and I might still decide not to include other specific submissions for other reasons.

4. The queue is shuffled periodically.

5. If you mistake a post on this blog for 'smash or pass', it is illegal not to also clarify whether you would've smashed or passed.

6. I try to avoid using fanart whenever possible because I don't want to use anything without permission, so if you see anything that you know is fanart that has gone uncredited please let me know.

7. This blog does not support AI art. If you suspect an image is AI-generated, please let me know so I can change it.

8. The top three submissions are the current blunt rotation.

9. The benchmark for a "full sweep" is 97% or higher, because from experience 2–3% is the average number of misclicks.

10. It is mandatory to mercilessly drag the Milgram community at even the slightest provocation. They know what they did. (/lh)

11. Zero clowns. You're not allowed to submit clowns. Characters with a jester aesthetic are fine, but realistic/live action clowns are strictly forbidden.

12. No more claiming characters are from Genshin Impact to try and trick the queue. I don't care that it works every time, it's still illegal.

13. Rule 13

14. No whataboutisms by anons.

Other than that, go wild!

YEET THEM OUT OF EXISTENCE!

Thank you to everyone at @hot-take-tournament who helped make this a reality! <3 <3 <3

[would-you-punt-them]

Why can't we take honour of the tradition that is paying off the refs like every other country

bribing individual referees is a time-honoured tradition. but the "leader of the free world" calling up FIFA to reverse a red card. not sure there's a precedent for that

[would-you-punt-them]

The United States

Punt it into the Sun?

PUNT!

Don't punt!

Voting ended onJul 11

[would-you-punt-them]

so the USA tries to rig a football match, loses 4-1 anyway, and now the whole country is getting kicked into the sun

we're getting dangerously close to a danganronpa execution

[would-you-punt-them]

sorry for not posting. hostage situationship

[would-you-punt-them]

there was a time when the notion that the world could ever be so fucked that the word "trillionaire" is needed was seen as so unrealistic that spellcheck doesn't even think it's a real word. but look at us now

[would-you-punt-them]

poor thing believes "zillionaire" and "squillionaire" are more likely to see regular use. like anything above billionaire must be meant as a joke. i'm not sure how to tell it

[would-you-punt-them]

oh you sweet summer child

[would-you-punt-them]

The United States

Punt it into the Sun?

PUNT!

Don't punt!

Voting ended onJul 11

[would-you-punt-them]

Actually, if we're talking about characters with unexpected countries of origin, we gotta talk about Sonic the Hedgehog:

In this 2011 interview with the Russian magazine GameLand, Yuji Naka, the co-creator of the series, was asked why the Sonic series only featured animal characters initially, and then suddenly added a ton of human characters in Sonic Adventure.

Naka replied that the games originally took place on Christmas Island, and that by chance it happens that there are only animals and robots inhabiting it. Sonic only met humans for the first time when he later left the island and travelled to the city in Sonic Adventure.

The interviewer then asked whether Naka meant a location on Earth, or one on different planet.

Naka confirmed that he was not only talking about a place on Earth, but specifically the Christmas Island that actually exists in our real world.

But he didn't mean the Australian territory – he was actually referring to the island of Kiritimati, which is also sometimes known as "Christmas Island", and was the site of a series of nuclear weapons tests carried out by both Britain and America at the height of the Cold War.

After briefly explaining this real-world history (though he only mentions the Americans, which the magazine rectifies in an edit), Naka went on to claim that these nuclear weapons tests were the reason why the island is now filled with robots and strange animals.

Because Kiritimati is part of the Republic of Kiribati, Sonic would therefore be I-Kiribati.

Although, in that same magazine article, Takashi Iizuka was asked about where the Sonic games took place, and he said that it varies from game to game, but usually there's one planet where the Sonic characters live, and another instead populated by humans, which would mean Sonic is an alien.

Personally, I unironically think Sonic being I-Kiribati is actually way better than him being from another planet.

Kiribati is one of the world's countries most threatened by the effects of climate change such as rising sea levels, and given that protecting the environment is a central theme to the entire series, him being from a country like Kiribati that's so vulnerable to its destruction would fit that theme perfectly.

And while the idea of him being a mutated rodent born from the radioactive fallout of nuclear weapons is weird to imagine, Sonic does spend most of his time dismantling superweapons created by mad scientists, so him being a result of the effects our real-world equivalent to planet-destroying superweapons have on the environment strangely also makes sense thematically.

Him being an alien is just kinda lame in comparison.

Here's a translation of the article, which is a little rough but is still reliable.

This is just a fraction of what the interviews cover, so it's worth reading if you're interested in this kinda thing.

[would-you-punt-them]

it's sonic's birthday so time to revisit his wild origin story

[would-you-punt-them]

HA! The only thing Teslas are keeping afloat is my hatred for them!

wait they actually are turning them into boats now??????

they can't even stay afloat on land

[gurrenprime]

Wasn’t that like, one of their advertised features when they were first revealed? Then turns out you can’t safely drive them in the rain since they’ll rust, or some shit. So, yaknow, real nice boat there.

[would-you-punt-them]

dude's seriously just gonna seal the doors and drive a 7000lb truck into the ocean with an outboard motor stuck to the back

fucking oceangate core

[would-you-punt-them]

Elon Musk

Punt him into the Sun?

PUNT!

Don't punt!

Voting ended onJun 20

[would-you-punt-them]

the guy wanted to climb into a three-ton dumpster and drive it into the sea. i think he'll reach the bottom of the ocean on his own

[would-you-punt-them]

Elon Musk

Punt him into the Sun?

PUNT!

Don't punt!

Voting ended onJun 20

[would-you-punt-them]

i mean to be honest there's every chance it won't stick. i'm mutuals with the Grim Reaper and he says Hell keeps refusing to take him because even they have limits

[would-you-punt-them]

Elon Musk

Punt him into the Sun?

PUNT!

Don't punt!

Voting ended onJun 20

[would-you-punt-them]

so i noticed that the punt percentage has been going down all day. care to explain yourselves

[would-you-punt-them]

there was a time when the notion that the world could ever be so fucked that the word "trillionaire" is needed was seen as so unrealistic that spellcheck doesn't even think it's a real word. but look at us now

[would-you-punt-them]

poor thing believes "zillionaire" and "squillionaire" are more likely to see regular use. like anything above billionaire must be meant as a joke. i'm not sure how to tell it

[would-you-punt-them]

may as well say "Abandon all Hope"

[would-you-punt-them]

there was a time when the notion that the world could ever be so fucked that the word "trillionaire" is needed was seen as so unrealistic that spellcheck doesn't even think it's a real word. but look at us now

[would-you-punt-them]

poor thing believes "zillionaire" and "squillionaire" are more likely to see regular use. like anything above billionaire must be meant as a joke. i'm not sure how to tell it

[would-you-punt-them]

there was a time when the notion that the world could ever be so fucked that the word "trillionaire" is needed was seen as so unrealistic that spellcheck doesn't even think it's a real word. but look at us now

[would-you-punt-them]

Elon Musk

Punt him into the Sun?

PUNT!

Don't punt!

Voting ended onJun 20

[would-you-punt-them]

yeah this is about the whole "world's first trillionaire" thing

unrelated but anyone else ever wonder if maybe the Mayans were right about the world ending in 2012 and we just haven't caught up yet

[would-you-punt-them]

Elon Musk

Punt him into the Sun?

PUNT!

Don't punt!

Voting ended onJun 20

[would-you-punt-them]

let's not do it

[would-you-punt-them]

i swear i'd love to update your app tumblr kyubey. it's just that i'm not sure i can trust you anymore