Detective Colin Zabel

Trying out this tumblr thing!

[sithsrevenge]

have a good night mare! good night.. mare. have a good nightmare?

[realcolinzabel]

Not my proudest moment.

[realcolinzabel]

Toasted my bagel PERFECTLY this morning. This is gonna be a great day!

[realcolinzabel]

Fell asleep on top of my papers at my desk today and now I have ink smeared all over my face.

[realcolinzabel]

I spilled coffee on my shirt today, tried to rub it off with a napkin, but that just ended up ripping a hole. I wonder if I can convince everyone this is a deliberate fashion choice.

[temporarywelcome]

How hard were you rubbing to rip a hole😭😭

[realcolinzabel]

Too hard. It just wasn’t coming out.

[realcolinzabel]

I spilled coffee on my shirt today, tried to rub it off with a napkin, but that just ended up ripping a hole. I wonder if I can convince everyone this is a deliberate fashion choice.

[realcolinzabel]

One thing you might not know about me is that I really like to draw. The chief gets mad at me sometimes because occasionally I’ll accidentally doodle on the back of an important paper. I think he just doesn’t like fun.

[aaaisdkkklla]

@realcolinzabel man i saw u on tinder

[realcolinzabel]

That’s a lie, and defamation.

[realcolinzabel]

I turn on the food network and suddenly three hours have slipped away.

[realcolinzabel]

@citizencoop Hey, kid. Just checking to see if people are leaving you alone yet, because I know it was pretty bad for a minute there.

[citizencoop]

My head still kinda hurts but I'm alright thanks. That fucking James guy is after me now though.

[realcolinzabel]

He needs to be caged.

[citizencoop]

I agree.

[thejamespatrickmarch]

Why >:(

[realcolinzabel]

Because you’re a menace, and a supernatural one at that.

[realcolinzabel]

@citizencoop Hey, kid. Just checking to see if people are leaving you alone yet, because I know it was pretty bad for a minute there.

[citizencoop]

My head still kinda hurts but I'm alright thanks. That fucking James guy is after me now though.

[realcolinzabel]

He needs to be caged.

[realcolinzabel]

@citizencoop Hey, kid. Just checking to see if people are leaving you alone yet, because I know it was pretty bad for a minute there.

[realcolinzabel]

I tried to pet a goose today. Didn’t go well.

[lostreverb]

Oh no what happened Zabes?

[realcolinzabel]

It walked up to me, and I thought I was gonna have a Snow White moment and that it wanted to be friends with me. Because who wouldn’t! Anyways, I reached out to pet it, and it bit my hand and chased me when I tried to run. I’m choosing to believe that this was just an evil goose, and that the rest of them do want to be friends with me. It would make me really sad if all geese didn’t like me.

[realcolinzabel]

Every time I look at you I want to hug you in like a genuine father way 😔

Aw, That’s sweet. I really hope I get to be a dad someday! I think I’d be pretty good at it.

[realcolinzabel]

I tried to pet a goose today. Didn’t go well.

[alittleobsessedbitch]

To @citizencoop

I, Layni, promise to be less mean in the reward of being freed from jail. I will happily take a consequence of being in someones basement— as long as I have snacks to keep me sane— for a week. Also you have to let me go to school, my lowest grade is a D+ and it's in freaking social studies. I NEED TO GET IT UP. Anyways, more about being nice. I'll buy you candy every day I'm locked in a basement. :)

@realcolinzabel I plead innocent

[hauntedrose555]

HE PUT YOU IN JAIL TOO😭HE DID THAT TO ME

[alittleobsessedbitch]

These men are untrustworthy

[realcolinzabel]

Harassment is a crime, which you both committed. Luke did nothing wrong. He’s a good kid.

[realcolinzabel]

@alittleobsessedbitch You’re under arrest for harassment and destruction of property.

[citizencoop]

Finally. Thanks man.

[realcolinzabel]

Quick question, why is everyone always after you, kid? This is like… the third time this week I’ve had to put someone away for you.

[citizencoop]

My girlfriend is like suuuuper hot and my screenplay is really good.

[realcolinzabel]

Uh… I don’t see why those are grounds for so much harassment… I mean at least things are going well?

[citizencoop]

Yeah I guess people are just jealous idk. And thanks. Couldn't have done it without you. The girlfriend part at least. The screenplay is all me I don't do ghostwriters.

[jazz-berry-deactivated20241117]

Stop reporting people to Colin! He’s busy…

[realcolinzabel]

This is my job, baby.

[thejamespatrickmarch]

@realcolinzabel do you have coffee?

[realcolinzabel]

I’m not speaking to you.

[thejamespatrickmarch]

*takes your coffee and pours it into arsehole*

Drink

🫱(‿¤‿)🫲

[realcolinzabel]

Please put your hole away.

[citizencoop]

How does he keep getting away with this?

[realcolinzabel]

I’ve arrested him twice, but he does this thing where he LITERALLY disappears. I don’t know, man. On the bright side, NASA’s looking into him now. They think the only explanation is that he’s an alien.

[thejamespatrickmarch]

I am not an alien! I have told you that I am a ghost.

[realcolinzabel]

Look, buddy. They’re saying the fact that you mostly communicate through your rear is a common trait reported in extraterrestrials. Regardless of legitimacy, I am more than happy to pass you off to them. Trust me.