Panic!

At the social situations

[realdeadperson]

I put the pathetic in sympathetic

[realdeadperson]

If it was within an hour of waking up then you can legally say you woke up like that

[realdeadperson]

Perfect way to make sure your bed is always made: make is once. Don’t sleep in it, sleep on the floor

[realdeadperson]

It’s time for sugar daddy Santa Claus to let me sit on his lap ;)

[realdeadperson]

What do you do when you choke on water? Have a sip of water?

[realdeadperson]

Snakes but they have hands and feet like a lizard and the rest of their body is a really long tail

[realdeadperson]

Why were the 90s 10 years ago but 30 years ago

[realdeadperson]

Me: spends $30 per weekend on alcohol

Also me: $30 for a pair of shoes, what the fuck?!?

[realdeadperson]

Just shined a flashlight in my eye, apologized to myself

[realdeadperson]

Am I the only one that thinks about really good dick and then I can feel it in my uterus

[realdeadperson]

Is 2 questions in 1 text too much for a mans brain to that he has to only answer 1?

[realdeadperson]

N mre sng vwls bt smtms Y

[realdeadperson]

During quarantine if you wanna drink just get drunk alone and as a bonus nobody can tell you that you drink too much

[realdeadperson]

Ask to see my minecraft house and chances are I’ll fall in love with you so don’t ask to see my minecraft house unless you’re looking for a marriage

[vodcar]

country gnomes,

take my bones

[cryptidfuckery]

to a place,

they don't belong

[annabellioncourt]

see shit like this is the reason that it’s so hard to turn my back on this website. Where else, pray tell, are you going to find this kind of quality nonsense.

[druggeddraccus]

west virginia

[realdeadperson]

When a spider eats a mosquitoe it must be like a Capri sun

[realdeadperson]

My toxic trait is when I’m with someone clingy I act uninterested and when I’m with someone uninterested I act clingy and it doesn’t matter how much I actually like them