James Tiberius Kirk

Captain of the USS Enterprise

[realjtkirk]

Pinned

You don't have to call me James Tiberius Kirk. Just Jim (or, actually, Captain, if you're supposed to call me that) is fine.

STANDARD RULES FOR INTERACTION:

No homophobia/transphobia/bigotry/whatever. Get lost.

Don't be a huge creep. Flirting is fine because Jim would be ok with it, but be reasonable

My main blog ooc is @bayjaruchel. If you need to chat OOC, just send me a DM there or here.

Thanks!

[real-monty-scotty]

[Replaces Scotty's shampoo with nair]

@realjtkirk I think this officer wishes to resign. What do ye say, Captain?

[realjtkirk]

I heartily agree.

[realjtkirk]

okay, so hypothetically if one of those creatures (you know, the scaly pink ones from that planet we stopped at) somehow ended up on the ship because someone accidentally transported it up after the landing party got back, and then it got loose and made a break for the turbolift to the bridge, what would you do?? Asking for a friend… ~Ensign Tooka

Hypothetically, I would call some security personnel to capture the pink scaly creature. Then, hypothetically, they would bring it to the transporter room, and hypothetically beam it back to the planet it originates from. Hypothetically.

This is a hypothetical, right?

[realjtkirk]

Chekov burger made of chekov.

Thoughts?

:-(

[realjtkirk]

i hope you know that you are SO pretty !!!!! one of the prettiest people on the enterprise …

Thank you :-) That's very kind of you to say.

[realjtkirk]

Fireball

@real-monty-scotty Have you seen this already?

[realjtkirk]

Mr. Kirk 🤔 I'm unsure if you've gotten an ask like this before so please forgive me if you have. But what food or detail from Iowa are you fond of?

I haven't gotten an ask like this before. Have you been looking into my biography?

I vaguely remember going camping once or twice. We sat underneath the stars, and my mother pointed out the constellations.

[real-monty-scotty]

Hello can I work in engineering my qualifications are from thefakedegreemaker.com

Sorry, lad. You'll have t' go through th' big boss before ye can work here.

@realjtkirk What d' ye say, Captain? Think they're qualified?

[realjtkirk]

No.

[realjtkirk]

Can you set Scotty and I up on a date 🫶

Not without his permission.

@real-monty-scotty Are you willing to take a chance on this sweet anonymous individual?

[realjtkirk]

have you seen your clone @james-t-kirk-1701

No, I haven't. He's definitely not the only other James T Kirk out there. We're everywhere!

[realjtkirk]

have you ever violated the prime directive

Technically, yes. With legal reason.

[realjtkirk]

So, what’s your type?

I don't particularly have a type. Why are you asking?

[realjtkirk]

what's your favorite nebula and/or constellation ?

I've gotten an ask like this before--my favorite constellation (visible from Earth) is Canis Major and a nebula that I think is very pretty is NGC 6072 (photo below).

[realjtkirk]

Why do you drive like this, jim.

I'm not the one who drives the ship. I'm just the one who tells Sulu to steer the ship. He chooses to perform risky maneuvers. And I suppose I could stop him but most, if not all of the time those are necessary. I don't know where this argument is going. I'm sorry.

[thestarship-enterprize]

why is it always you that gets into crazy shit. i checked with people from other ships and the craziest thing that’s ever happened to any of them is having to go within a parsec of the neutral zone. wtf is going on with you??? give us a break please *sobs*

-@redshirt-official

I don’t get to decide where the captain flies us, I’m just as scared as you are!

[realjtkirk]

I sincerely apologize for my actions.

[realjtkirk]

I got dilithium crystals for Christmas. I'm outta FEAST 😋

PLEASE DON'T.

[realjtkirk]

the universe is sitting on the back of a giant koala

That'd be nice.