RC Beauchesne @rebexco-blog - Tumblr Blog

pudingist

I can be productive at times. Sometimes I draw shit. Sometimes I draw people.

and sometimes, I draw ridiculously amazing angels.

rebexco-blog

#castiel #fanart #gorgeous

letmesayiloveyou-deactivated202

biasheck

#okay while this line is hilarious and whatnot #i actually read it as something a little bit sadder #because in this episode Dean is pushing everyone away #trying to make them WANT him to say yes so #he tells Bobby you’re not my father #knowing that’s where it’ll hurt him the most #he tells Sam ‘I don’t believe in you’ #knowing that will cut the deepest #but what does he say to Cas? he makes a bunch of mocking sexual references #I think he knows that Cas is attracted to him #and this is him calling him out on it #to try and make Cas angry and hurt #this episode is Dean trying to convince his family that they don’t want him #so he goes for their weak spots #and Cas’s weak spot is the fact that he’s in love with Dean

YES! YEEEES!

flutiebear

*gross sobbing*

justqueenie

I’ve been noodling over this post for the past few days, and I think it’s almost right, in that Dean throws out the sexual barb because he almost certainly knows that he’s Cas’s weak spot.

And yet… I think the person Dean’s really digging at here isn’t Cas, but himself. He’s the one sexually attracted to Cas: he’s the one who can’t stop looking at Cas’s lips, who always looks so uncomfortable when Cas crowds his personal space. And Dean hates himself for it, because he knows that this is an angel of the Lord, the holiest of the holy, and he—well, what is he? He’s the blood-stained fuck-up, the man-sized hole of Daddy issues and neediness, the demon who never deserved to be saved from the Pit. What business does he have feeling something so dark and needy and human about an entity as good and heavenly as Cas, someone who so profoundly believes in Dean’s non-existent righteousness, who talks about him in terms of “special” and “saved” and “profound bond”, who rebelled against the divine plan and the entire Host of Heaven, and sacrificed everything, just for him, all for him? Dean knows it’s disrespectful, this dark and small and petty human sexual attraction, he knows it’s wrong and unreciprocated and he wishes he could make himself stop but he can’t, he just can’t.

Remember what the Dean!Leviathan says about Dean? “He doesn’t have relationships; he has applications for sainthood”. For nobody is that more applicable than Cas (which is why Cas’s eventual betrayal hurts Dean so much). To S5!Dean, Cas is a concept, a creature so innocent and pure Dean didn’t even think it existed until it saved him from eternal damnation.

So when Cas revokes his faith in him in that second GIF; when Cas says, essentially, “you are no longer worth my faith in you”, that’s when Dean snaps, because that hurts so much, too much, and all he can think to do is lash out with the one thing he thinks will hurt the most — except he doesn’t stop to wonder who he’s really trying to hurt here.

That’s why, when Dean says “Blow me”, Cas seems more confused than anything else — he can tell that Dean is angry, and he’s angry too, but more than that, Cas doesn’t understand why Dean chose to express himself with those specific words.

But to Dean, the innuendo makes perfect sense; it’s a form of self-harm, of self-torture. In the same way he bitterly tells Kevin (twice) that angels are “junkless”, it reminds him of what he wants but can never, ever have.

Because Dean trained under Alistair, he knows all the best ways to torture a man, to make him break, and deep down he knows that what he feels for Cas is what will break him; or, more specifically, what will break him is that Cas can never feel what he feels, that angels just don’t have the equipment to feel that way, that whenever they try, it just breaks them apart.

And I eagerly await the day Dean realizes he was wrong.

tinkdw

Omg I’m sobbing it’s so true

amwritingmeta

*hides face until Dabb makes it all better again*

thatsreallygood

This kinda bothers me cause I always thought of it this way and I assumed everyone did too

amwritingmeta

We did. And do. My hiding my face and praying for Dabb was about all of it being put so poignantly with regards to that pent up longing inside of Dean - what @justdestiel wrote: this is exactly it.

And what I love most about the Destiel love story is exactly this!

Both the external obstacles and the internal obstacles of this love story are linked to the characters in such a measured and believable way that we, the audience, see them with perfect clarity and wish we could just tear them down for them, because we can tell that these two men are deeply in love with each other, but they have blinded themselves to this obvious fact by being so caught up in misguided observations, fears and insecurities.

To reiterate the above post:

Dean thinks Cas can’t possibly want him, not only because Cas is a “junkless” angel (external obstacle: Cas is a different frigging species - and underlining of sexual frustration indeed) but because Dean doesn’t think he deserves him (internal obstacle: Dean’s lack of self-worth)

while Cas thinks Dean can’t possibly love him since all he has ever seen is straight!Dean the Hunter (external obstacle: Cas is a different frigging species (and in a male vessel), which furthers Cas’ confusion regarding his own attraction to Dean, underscored by the fact that he can sense Dean’s longing) and Cas, too, feels undeserving, incomplete, lost, out of place, thinking of himself as nothing but an attack dog (internal obstacle: Cas’ lack of self-worth)

Using these mirrored external and internal obstacles is standard practice for most love stories: we start our lovers out with Big Differences, but also make certain there are Obvious Similarities put firmly in place to underline that these two are clearly Meant For Each Other, if they can only move passed their baggage, their mindsets, their separate pasts and look to their shared future.

The Big Differences are important because they will cause misunderstandings, which in turn will inevitably cause a rift between the lovers, and this rift is necessary in any love story because:

differences create question marks

the question marks deepen the tension

and push toward a moment where the lovers feel they can’t be together

but by both of them opening their eyes to the truth - that they need to learn the lessons the other is trying to teach them about themselves

they will both go through an internal character growth

after which the lovers find their way to each other

and then there are rainbows!!

So, you see, I was just hiding my face in my hands in silent prayer for Dabb to be moving us where I hope he’s moving us: towards rainbows at the end of Dean and Cas’ amazingly intricate, mind-blowingly complex, deep and abiding love story. Because they deserve it. They deserve to be happy together.