Manifesting 🙏
Like To Charge ❤️
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Mike Driver
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
AnasAbdin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
d e v o n

Discoholic 🪩
Show & Tell

JVL
Keni
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

★

Janaina Medeiros
Xuebing Du
i don't do bad sauce passes
ojovivo
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blake kathryn
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we're not kids anymore.
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@jamesnotmadison
Manifesting 🙏
Like To Charge ❤️
Reblog To Cast 🔄
Reblog To Cast 🔄
REBLOG TO CAST 🔄
easily one of my favourite tweets of all time
i should wake up and automatically be restored to full health, that's how sleeping should work, what is this horseshit
*waking up with a sore neck* where are my goddamn spell slots
I don't think most people fully appreciate how free it truly is to roam. not far. the close stuff. the nearby buildings. you can actually just go most places, reasonability permitting. there are places you do not go because you do not need to, but you can go there. most buildings are designed to allow people inside of them, you can look around any store, all the sections, and then you may leave
go as high as you can get in every building that permits, and then go back down. some elevators won't let you do that, but many will. if they ask why you are there, say it is for an interview, wander around a bit, enter the washroom, and if they get suspicious, ask where you are, then apologise. this will only work so many times. if pressed too hard, say you are here for an interview with someone, use your last name for them, and when they say nobody works there with that name, slap your head and leave quickly. if they try to kill you, you've entered into the martial portion of your journey, and I can offer you no guidance
if someone does work there with that name, you need to try playing the long lost heir card and hope it works. it might be your building soon, and then you can go up and down it much as you please.
There’s this guy that sits in front of me who you would think is a conservative redneck bc his entire aesthetic is southern lumberjack w boots and denim and hats but he’s actually one of the most inclusive and anti trump guy I’ve ever met and today he wore this hat that sums up his entire personality and I’m screaming.
Don’t judge a book by its cover; make cornbread, not war.
Hey, this is the motto of the Southern Foodways Alliance, and among other things, they have an AMAZING podcast called Gravy, which ‘shares stories of the changing American South through the foods we eat’. You like this hat. Listen to that podcast. You’ll be happy.
Y'all need to stop being surprised by the radicalism in The South. The idea that Southerners are inherently more backwards is steeped in classism and ableism and erases all the awesome work marginalized folks are doing out there
Once knew a guy from LARP who told a story about when he had first gotten his hands on chainmail and was getting used to wearing it and maintaining mobility and balance with the weight of it (it was heavy stuff). So he started wearing it under his clothes when he was out running errands and stuff to practice for when he had to wear it in mock combat.
Then one night he was coming home late and got mugged by a dude with a knife.
Apparently the look on the dude's face was amazing when he went in to gut the guy for his wallet and found out he was wearing medieval armor under his hoodie.
So, you know. Pretty good argument for wearing it under streetclothes!
so maybe my type isn't totally unrealistic
Fun story, i talked to two people who worked at a convenience store in the Kingdom of An Tir (SCA medieval society, An Tir's territory is WA, BC, northern ID, and OR, and in the past included AB and SK).
This convenience store was notorious for getting robbed in the evenings one or two times a month, so nobody wanted to work the night shift. The one fellow, he desperately needed a job, but he was also learning how to be a heavy fighter (sword & shield) in the SCA, so he had just finished a chainmail shirt, and asked if he could wear it under his uniform shirt, so long as it didn't show. The manager was just happy that he had someone willing to work nights, and said yeah, sure, so long as it doesn't show.
Guy starts working the night shifts, things are fine, he's getting used to everything, then late one night, a guy in a hoodie comes in, and asks for a pack of cigarettes. Our guy turns to get the pack, and feels a thump on his back. Turning around, scowling, he demands, "Did you just hit me??"
Guy in the hoodie widens his eyes, goes ash-gray, and faints. Clerk can't budge from behind the counter in case this is an attempt to distract and rob. But the guy remains out coold. Confused, our clerk calls the emergency services. EMTs come along and start checking out the patient, who is still out cold on the floor. While they're doing that, one of them comes up to the counter and asks what happened, exactly.
Our man tells the EMT, "Well, he just came in, looked around, came up to the counter and asked for a specific pack of cigarettes, so I turned to get them--"
And he demonstrates by turning his back to the EMT, who suddenly starts shouting, "--Sir! Sir! Are you okay? Don't move!"
Our man feels the EMT groping his upper back, and then the EMT asks,
"What the hell are you WEARING?"
"A chainmail shirt. I have to get used to the weight of it, so I wear it a lot. Why? Is something wrong?"
"You have a KNIFE in your back!"
"Uhh...no, I don't? I mean, I don't feel hurt? He only, like, punched me or something. There's no knife back there--I mean, I'd KNOW if there was a knife back there, right?"
EMT grabs the knife and pushes on his shoulder, yanking it out. "THIS knife! I'm going to need to examine your back!"
So they manage to get him out of his uniform shirt and out of the hauberk and out of the linen shirt under it (because chainmail bites suck, plus it's not nearly as fun as a Brazilian waxjob, because my SCA friend was hairy)...and it turns out he only had a very small scratch from the tip of the knife...which had gotten lodged in the riveted links.
...That was why the guy fainted. He'd stabbed the store clerk, who had turned around angrily, knife still lodged in his back.
Manager was so happy to have hired the guy, as that was the first time in like eight or nine months that the store hadn't been successfully robbed.
sorry i covered your neck in dark hickeys and clamped down hard on your throat like limp prey while i was giving you a handjob. you whimpered a little too soft and i blacked out and believed myself to be a feral dog in possession of an entire rotisserie chicken
you all know there's other posts on here to reblog right
everybody else deactivate your account these two need the room for a second
y'all are tagging posts like recipe website commenters
Lucanis Dellamorte 🖤 hi tumblr! been awhile <3
I love you Anders but you really need to step up your game
me: i kind of want to play inquisition
*thinks about the hinterlands*
they're called mutuals
gay irl
I 🥺ed my way into this situation and I’m going to 🥺 my way out
Best possible addition.