an autumn of the self

to   exist    is    to    change    &    only    in    the    shattering   can    the    rebuild    occur

[rebuildeds]

𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐃𝐒 : let yourself be gutted. let it open you. start there.

dependent multi-muse written by vicky for noxtms ! originally established in 2020, re-established in 2023.

clementine weasley : forty - three, barista at cup o'magic, former healer. dudley dursley : twenty - nine, muggle liaison at the ministry for magic. tempest clearwater : thirty - one, holyhead harpies beater & owner of the closed tattered covers.

CLEMENTINE WEASLEY: your bloodstained hands used to be so steady. when did the tremor start to make its gradual progression into your soul?

DUDLEY DURSLEY: the boy you were does not have to be the man you are. a child who feared the unknown can become alight with curiosity.

TEMPEST CLEARWATER: the story should end when the sheep dies. here’s a spoiler: the story does not end.

[rebuildeds]

𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 : accepting for all characters !

EUPHORIA ( SEASON 1 ) SENTENCE STARTERS

[rebiirths]

𝙻𝙾𝙲𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽  : diagon alley  !

he's doing his best, and for what it's worth, there haven't been any mishaps until this moment in which it all goes wrong. well, not all of it. worse, still, would be the shelter dog that he's taking for a very long socialisation walk getting free of her leash in the middle of the wixen capitol and making a run for it, which she hasn't done. it's just not ideal for her to tug the way she does, as suddenly as she does, when he's least expecting it - they're at the home stretch, after all, and how's she going to get a good grade in 'day trip' if she's thrown away all the lessons he's spent so much time teaching her at the final hurdle ? harry isn't quick enough to chastise her - he intakes, sharp, and manages to pull her back before she gets muddy paw prints all over their clothes, but even as his cheeks start to redden ( he still hates attention drawn to him, still can't escape it ), it's obvious that she doesn't realise she's done anything wrong. her tail wagging happily, her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth, he doesn't think he needs to say it since it's so obvious but he figures it's worth it just in case they're nervous around dogs and sheepishly, he tells them, "sorry about that. she's just excited. rory, bad."

[rebuildeds]

clementine is only just awake. it'd been a hectic day at the café today, with never-ending queues and no time in-between any service to get the usual tasks done – her shift had technically ended about 45 minutes before she'd left, as well, but it'd been so bad that she'd felt awful just leaving them to it. she'd stuck around to clean up and get a start of the administration that was always needed after closing, only leaving when one of the other baristas had physically forced her out of the door because there wasn't a chance in hell that her boss would approve it as overtime. her eyes keep fluttering closed even as she's walking, so she doesn't spot harry & his furry friend until the friend in question has already tried to leap at her.    “ merlin! ”     she flinches away before she realises what, in fact, is coming towards her. there's a long pause as she looks down at the delighted dog, blinking slowly, brain struggling to play catch-up. as soon as it does register, she's crouching to say hello – smile materialising out of nowhere, hands in her fur and scritching behind an ear.    “ oh, hello gorgeous. ”    rory is just as enthusiastic once clementine has accepted her presence, startling a laugh out of her. it's only after she's started petting the dog that clem realises she knows the walker, and she realises that the exhaustion has definitely gone to her head. she smiles up at him.   “ harry! lovely to see you. alright, alright, lovelier to see you. ”    the latter is directed at rory, who seems to have taken light offence at clementine's attention shifting.

[rebuildeds]

PROMPT : "oh, you’re the other one. got it." LOCATION: the merry maiden FEATURING : @fortnas !

“ yeah. ”      dudley's nodding before he's really taken in what ned is saying, arms already piled high with boxes that need to be placed … somewhere. with no experience with bartending, dudley is not at all sure how he's managed to get himself in this situation. he thinks it might it speak some volume about the desperation that was needed to fill these couple of hours with another body to cart things around that ginny's uncle even said yes to his volunteering offer. it's only a bridge between two shifts of people who actually know what the fuck they are doing, but he's starting to get a sinking feeling that maybe ned is going to end up hating his guts. it takes far too many moments for it to register, but then what he's nodding along too finally settles in. “ huh? ” he peers over the top of the boxes, eyebrows furrowed. “ sorry, who did you think i was? ”

[veriidicals]

❝ corrosive. sticking charm too, maybe. this hungry little beauty would just latch on and keep eating and eating and eating away if i didn’t come prepared, ❞ he explains, tilting his hand to show off the ribbons of smoke curling up from the points of contact on his fingers. dragonhide gloves were NOT cheap, but gringotts only ever used the very best, and gloves made of magic-resistant leather was a must for their hired con. sticky fingers were his specialty and keeping them protected was his priority—near as much of a priority as protecting tempestʻs too-curious fingers. he matches the quicksilver flashes of pout then smirk, a mirrorball in human form and ever prepared to read the room to see how any given interaction might shake out for him. in this case, he keeps the smile fixed and ready for all criticisms. ❝ what, this smile ? ❞ he asks, lips pulling over teeth that were the slightest bit crooked. there were spells to fix that, but bill found that most people did not trust a smile that was too straight or too white. besides, the unevenness often drew attention away from the fact that his canines were a touch too long for comfort. ❝ only the particularly distrustful patrons would read anything in this smile. besides, ❞ and here the smile turns near caustic, all mischief in a manner that is seen most often on the faces of his younger brothers. then again, he had worn it first. ❝ i have to do something to stay in business, don’t i ? ❞

[rebuildeds]

there's  a  buzz  up  their  spine  as  he  explains,  shows  off  the  smoke  coming  off  of  his  gloves,  one  that  echoes   (  and  to  the  untrained  eye,  could  be  )   a  shudder.  while  tempest's  expression  is  steady,  their  bright  eyes  belie  that  notion,  filled  with  ceaseless  curiosity,  hands  practically  twitching  with  the  insatiable  urge  to  reach  out.  they  clasp  those  hands  together  behind  their  back  with  a  concealment  that  also  doubles  as  an  over-the-top  innocent  facade.  their      “  how  awful.  ”      is  insincere  and  sounds  as  much,  drawing  a  quick  frown  before  they  settle  back  into  the  conversation.  bill's  smile  draws  their  own  back  out  with  ease,  and  the  way  he  mimics  their  expressions  is  perhaps  the  one  thing  that  could  have  drawn  them  away  from  the  allure  of  the  cursed  brooch.  one  could  accuse  them  of  being  flighty,  but  tempest's  curiosity  had  always  been  far  more  interested  in  people  than  in  objects  –  even  magical  ones.  much  to  their  sister's  chagrin,  at  times.        “  that's  the  one.  positively  devilish.  ”        their  tone  says  over-the-top  posh  disapproval,  their  matching  grin  says  the  very  opposite.  their  tongue  runs  across  the  sharp  points  of  their  own  teeth,  mischief  meeting  mischief,  the  finger  that  tapped  his  chin  coming  to  tap  their  own  in  the  pretence  of  thoughtfulness.         “  are  you  familiar  with  the  typical  patrons?  i  would  say  more  mistrustful  than  not.  ”    they  gesture  towards  where  they  estimate  the  bag  has  gone,  realising  several  moments  too  late  that  they've  revealed  their  hand  &  the  way  they  were  tracking  it  in  their  peripherals.     “  perhaps  with  good  reason.  ”

[rebuildeds]

TIME: just after 2am , the morning of may 3rd FEATURING: @graciieux !

they'd booked a room in one of the run-down inns near hogsmeade, one of the only places left with any spaces on short notice, because sleeping in the castle always feels just a bit wrong. even after so many years of attending the memorials, out of necessity, tempest is still wrong-footed by the thought of being back in that headspace of being a student. it's just past 2am, and they couldn't sleep, and they're lurking in the darkness sat on the wall outside of the inn wishing they smoked more than just socially. anything to have a real excuse to be out here, to wile away the hours with the just-too-cold breeze teasing underneath their cropped pyjama top. they've not even got any cigarettes on them to pretend, far too reliant on bumming a smoke. they spot grace a moment too late to sleek away, aware they've already probably scared the shit out of her, and try to offer a smile that implies comradery rather than anything else.      “ sneaking out or in? ”

[rebuildeds]

PROMPT : what part of ‘hurry up’ did you not understand? TIME : may 2nd FEATURING : @hoggleswart / ezekiel !

it's  unreasonably  hard  for  dudley  to  keep  his  cool,  right  here  &  right  now.  if  his  job  wouldn't  be  on  the  line  (  assuming,  actually,  that  ezekiel  would  be  able  to  pick  him  out  of  a  lineup,  which  the  devil  on  his  shoulder  says  wouldn't  be  the  case  ),  a  two  finger  salute  would've  already  been  thrown  in  the  direction  of  the  grumpy  fucker.  even  then,  this  isn't  his  job.  he  isn't  on  duty  right  now  and,  even  if  he  was,  he's  not  really  sure  that  he  would  have  to  bow  down  to  the  orders  of  this  guy  except  in  a  ceremonial  way.  that  was  trouble  of  being  the  big  boss  -  you  became  more  big  and  less  boss.      “  mate,  i  am  doing  you  a  favour  here.  ”      dudley's  instincts  get  the  better  of  him,  and  though  he  collects  himself  a  moment  later,  the  bite  in  his  voice  is  already  out  in  the  air. 

[rebuildeds]

PROMPT : ❛ aren't we in a good mood today? ❜ LOCATION/TIME : hogwarts grounds , during minister karkaroff's speech FEATURING : @monstrovs !

she's not really sure why she's here, other than the general expectation of attendance. even then, tempest could've shown up instead for one of the more fun events of the weekend and supported the youth playing quidditch. or even for the more impactful events. the ones that actually felt significant: they could've been a part of the goodbye ceremony that, in recent years, had actually brought tears to their eyes.

instead, they're staring down the barrel of a gun at antonin karkaroff and his platitudes. “ all thanks to our lord and saviour. ”    they gesture at the man in question. it's likely just a side effect of hanging around niko far too much, but every time the elder karkaroff talks all tempest can picture is throwing an egg. or something. throwing something at him. it could be solidarity or it could just be a general distaste for authority.

more importantly than analysing that particular instinct, tempest is trying to figure out the best way to say i'm standing next to you for a reason without coming off psychotic. they don't think that would bother niko, per se, but they're not past the stage of trying to predict the unpredictable. they scratch an itch tempest wasn't aware they had until they met. after what feels like hours but is probably more like milliseconds, they lean into him & the oil and tobacco scent he gives off.

[dearlumos]

cara  had  been  lost  in  thought  since  the  moment  she'd  arrived.  her  gaze  tracing  the  grounds  with  a  quiet  heaviness.  the  speeches  had  stirred  something  inside  her—curiosity,  grief,  something  she  couldn’t  quite  name.  the  faces  of  those  lost,  the  words  spoken,  it  all  felt  so  foreign  to  her.  she  hadn’t  grown  up  in  this  world,  hadn't  been  a  part  of  all  the  suffering  that  had  touched  so  many  here.  and  now,  with  her  protective  shields  finally  lowered,  cara  found  herself  standing  amidst  it  all,  wanting  to  know  and  understand. the  footsteps  behind  her  pulled  her  out  of  her  reverie,  but  before  she  could  step  aside,  she  felt  someone’s  heel  press  down  on  the  back  of  her  shoe. cara  glanced  over  her  shoulder,  her  hand  instinctively  brushing  off  the  area  where  her  shoe  had  been  stepped  on.  her  lips  pulled  into  a  slight,  rueful  smile  as  she  caught  sight  of  the  other  woman,  still  slightly  off-balance  from  her  own  moment  of  distraction. “no  harm  done.”  cara  responded,  her  tone  soft  but  warm,  not  quite  the  briskness  of  her  usual  self.  “it's  alright,  really.” she  paused  for  a  moment,  considering,  before  adding,  almost  quietly,  “i  suppose  we’re  all  a  bit  lost  in  our  own  thoughts  today.” cara's  voice  was  gentle,  like  she  was  speaking  more  to  herself  than  the  woman  who  had  stepped  on  her  shoe.  the  weight  of  the  event  hung  heavily  in  the  air,  and  cara  felt  it  weighing  on  her.  as  strange  as  it  felt  to  be  here,  she  knew  this  was  something  she  had  to  do.  she  needed  to  be  part  of  this,  even  if  she  couldn’t  yet  fully  understand  it.

[rebuildeds]

there's  something  familiar  about  the  girl  who's  shoe  she's  stepped  on,  but  clem  is  too  flustered  at  first  to  really  put  her  finger  on  it.  she's  walking  with  purposefully  smaller  strides  to  try  and  avoid  it  happening  again,  the  forced  pep  sounding  out  of  place  the  second  it  comes  out  of  her  mouth.  she's  really  not  sure  what  to  say  :  there  aren't  any  words  that  really  encompass  the  feeling  that  seems  to  settle  over  everyone  at  the  memorial,  even  taking  into  account  the  brief  moments  of  respite  they  get  when  they're  all  chatting  and  forget  the  event  that's  brought  them  together  today. 

then  the  puzzle  pieces  click  into  place,  and  clementine  realises  what  makes  this  particular  ‘stranger’  look  so  familiar,  as  opposed  to  the  usual  maybe  we've  been  at  the  memorial  at  the  same  time  before  or  maybe  you  were  one  of  the  kids  who  searched  for  judy  or  maybe  i've  served  you  coffee  once  or  twenty  times.  she's  a  touch  shocked  to  see  how  much  of  mary  she  can  spot  in  her  features.      

“  is…  are  you  cara?  ”     she's  stopped  in  place,  a  hand  hovering  over  the  other's  elbow  to  try  and  prompt  her  to  leave  the  accidental  procession  they've  all  joined,  voice  matching  the  other's  softness  and  warmth.        “  sorry,  i  don't  think  we've  met.  i  know  your  mum.  ”

[rebuildeds]

tempest, do you consider yourself a 'good' person?

HONESTY HOUR !

their face twists, teeth gritting, pulling against the push to answer honestly that has infected their systems. eventually, with a breathlessness that gives away the effort it has taken to let any words out, they say    “ yes. no. ”   something internally jars against it, hands clenching in each other.   “ ish. sort of. ”    there's a few more moments of silent war, before their shoulders slump.   “ i just try not to think about it. ” 

[veriidicals]

the job was simple enough. even if it was only ever contained to the businesses around diagon and itʻs connecting alleys, for the businesses who could afford for gringottʻs quality cursebreaking. the easy thrill of it was enough to have bill looking forward to it all year long. it was like clockwork: someone or other received some sort of heirloom for christmas and immediately following into the new years—with all it’s resolutions and cleaning—foisted it on some unfortunate pawn shop to spare themselves the hassle of trying to match great aunt hildegardʻs vase with their current furniture. the fun of it was when the vases weren’t just vases. ❝ iʻd be careful if i were you, ❞ he warns, voice mired in amusement even as he nimbly plucks a rather unfortunate looking brooch out of hand-reach, just in the nick of time. the dragonhide gloves are his only saving grace, and even those start steaming at the places of contact with the silver of the jewelry piece. not so pretty an end result. ❝ nasty bit of anti-theft warding. banned now, but probably not when this little darling was commissioned. ❞ he explains, not bothering to hide any of the interest that leaks into his consonance. it was the habit, the vice, to dig his teeth onto the exciting bits of magic, especially when those bits of magic bit back. the brooch gets slipped into an acromantula silk-lined bag, with all the nullifying properties: a specialty of the goblins, who knew how to manipulate magic in ways that wixen could hardly grasp at. ❝ might i suggest those lovely little earrings over in the corner ? they should be in the clear. ❞ the grin that crosses his face is an honest attempt at trustworthy: sales associate charm for all that heʻs never actually been in sales. ❝ checked ʻem myself. promise. ❞

[rebuildeds]

there  is  no  earthly  reason  for  tempest  to  be  here  :  they  don't  require  anything  in  particular  from  the  shop,  nor  do  they  massively  trust  the  quality  of  the  things  that  are  for  sell.  their  main  motivation  for  even  being  here  is  to  be  around  other  people,  and  it  hasn't  been  working  out  too  well.  the  shop  staff  are  keeping  to  themselves,  not  asking  if  there's  anything  they  can  help  with  and  the  other  customers  are  few  and  far  between.  she's  zoned  out  &  about  to  give  up  when  bill  reaches  over  her,  blinking  hard  when  the  dragonhide  gloves  appear  as  if  out  of  nowhere.      “  does  it  just  burn?  ”      tempest's  nose  wrinkles,  one  hand  moving  as  if  to  reach  out  and  touch  the  brooch  in  his  gloves.  it  hovers  in  the  space  above,  instead,  a  smile  sliding  into  place  after  a  moment,  as  if it's  an  afterthought.  when  the  brooch  disappears  into  the  bag,  a  split-second  of  pouting  follows  it,  before  they're  grinning  again.     “  don't  use  that  one,  in  future.  ”     they  tap  a  finger  against  his  chin to demonstrate they mean the grin,  trying  to  disguise  the  way  they're  keeping  track  in  their  peripherals  of  where  the  bag  goes.  not  for  any  particularly  nefarious  purposes,  mostly  because  they're  desperate  to  touch  it  and  see  what  happens  –  perpetually  the  child  in  front  of  the  fire  who  doesn't  learn  that  fingers  can't  get  involved.      “  it  implies  you  poisoned  everything  in  this  humble  abode.  ”

[rebuildeds]

LOCATION : hogwarts grounds TIME : just after the speeches, may 2nd FEATURING : open ! @startertms

it's  a  sting  to  be  back  here.  clementine  had  come  every  year,  stayed  for  the  full  length  of  the  memorial  weekend,  until  they  lost  judith.  the  last  couple  of  years  since,  she'd  stayed  for  a  day  but  somehow  it  felt  disrespectful.  both  to  judy  and to  those  who  had  been  lost  before  –  for  the  former,  it  felt  like  no  one  had  the  space  or  will  to  acknowledge  her  loss,  and  for  the  latter  it  felt  inappropriate  to even  want  to  mention  judy.  it  was  a  lose-lose  all  around.  this  year,  well,  she's  trying  to  do  better.  the  solidarity  that  went  into  this  event  was  so  vital  in  the  first  few  years  after  the  war,  and  there's  a  part  of  her  desperate  to  re-capture  that.

the  final  speech  is  finished  up,  and  the  crowd  is  slowly  moving  towards  the  great  hall  for  the  feast.  clem  walks  slower  than  usual,  her  body  filled  with  fatigue.  her  eyes  are  pinned  to  the  grass,  but  she  still  manages  to  not  fully  watch  where  her  feet  are  going  until  she  realises  she's  trodden  on  the  back  of  someone's  shoe.  it's  a  talent  !      “  oh  merlin,  sorry.  ”   she  calls  over  their  shoulder,  forcing  some  pep  into  her  voice.   “  should  be  looking  where  i'm  going.  ”

[rebuildeds]

PROMPT : promise me you won’t do anything stupid. FEATURING: @chacswins !

“ absolutely not. ”    they're fine to leave it up to interpretation whether they mean i wouldn't do anything stupid, or i'm never going to promise that. if damien is being honest with himself, he's going to know that it's the latter anyway. they shrug, turning over the galleon in their hand nervously, tapping it on the table between them.   “ i just wanted your opinion, as someone in the industry. ”    tempest doesn't intend to make a face at the word 'industry', but using business-lingo when talking about this feels wrong, somehow.    “ what would you do with tattered covers, if you were me? ”

[veriidicals]

given that they were several months out , bill wasn’t exactly sure how best to answer the question with any sort of grace . she technically hadn’t missed it for this current year . ❝ nah, it’s not for ages yet… ❞ he stretches the word out, all boyish smiles and childlike in a way that he always manages to be in front of clem, the sort of youthful innocence that feels funniest when pulled out for the aunt that he still claims even if the official connections are no longer there. really, far be it from him to think that family ties end when the relationship that once knotted you there no longer exists. clem and fleur sat near each other at christmas, after all. a sudden thought occurs to him then, and he nearly gives a full-body jolt when it hits him. ❝ oh shit , i haven’t missed your birthday , have i ? ❞ merlin, he hopes not. it wouldn’t do for him to be the last one to get her a gift and he’s shown up by uncle ned of all people.

【  𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚠𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚛 :  𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚢  (  @rebuildeds​​​​  ) 】

[rebuildeds]

she's  not  sure  what  in  particular  sparks  the  thought  in  her  mind,  just  that  as  soon  as  it's  appeared  the  question  tumbles  out  of  her  mouth.  an  immediate  fear  comes  over  her  :  as  clementine  gets  older  and  still  hasn't  figured  out  how  to  reliably  use  a  calendar  (  or  any  of  the  handy  spells  that  mimic  it  )  the  days  seem  to  rush  past  and  suddenly  a  birthday  was  a  month  ago  and  nothing  had  been  bought.  she's  been  BETTER  at  the  niblings'  birthdays,  thus  far,  their  childhood  spectaculars  engraving  themselves  into  her  memory  enough  that  usually  she's  buying  a  present  with  a  couple  of  days  notice  rather  than  belatedly.  the  relief  she  then  feels  when  bill  confirms  it's  not  soon  is  enough  to  have  her  reaching  out  to  twist  his  ear  in  jest,  not  hard  enough  to  hurt,  before  she  lets  go  and  converts  it  into  a one-armed  hug.  “  thank  merlin.  while  i've  got  you  though,  what  d'you  want  for  your  next  one?  ”    that  was  the  next  hardest  thing  to  remembering  :  figuring  out  what  to  get  this  complete  brood  of  adults  who  weren't  as  enamoured  with  little  trinkets  that  fit  their  interest-of-the-month.  it  didn't  seem  to  get  any  easier  the  more  adult  they  got.  she  detaches  herself  to  settle  back  down  in  her  own  seat,  shooing  with  her  hands  the  mention  of  her  own  birthday.  “  no  no,  it's  not  'till  may.  less  important,  anyway.  ”

[rebuildeds]

INSTAGRAM AESTHETIC MEME ( from @bemyhcro ): 14. to show off their childhood !

this is a photo of the rugby pitch that dudley used to play at during his time at smeltings. in october 2024, there was an issue with his local club's pitch, and one of the other smeltings alumni reached out to the school to ask if they could train on the pitch on a tuesday evening, and they kindly agreed. despite how lighthearted he made the caption, it was WEIRD for dudley to be back here, and he wanted to commemorate it.

[rebuildeds]

INSTAGRAM AESTHETIC MEME ( from @bemyhcro ): 5. to show off their family ! 

this is the first post tempest made after the events of the 24th/25th december 2022, when penelope was murdered. the photo itself is from september of that year, on the walk back from an evening when tempest & penelope went out for dinner together. it was posted at around 3.15am, and there was no caption on the post.

[rebuildeds]

𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 : accepting for all characters !

INSTAGRAM AESTHETIC MEME

& YELLOWJACKETS SENTENCE STARTERS