It's Always Sunny in Transylvania (Chicken)
Serious presentation skills right here.
HEY! YOU! Do you like chicken? I do. I've cooked a lot of chicken. I've eaten a lot more chicken. This is my favorite chicken. The preparation is pretty simple, but it does take nearly 7 and a half hours to cook. I usually get started at 11am in order to have dinner ready by 7:30.
The original recipe, typically known as either 40 Garlic Clove Chicken or Vampire Chicken, is nearly identical, but is cooked entirely in a slow cooker and thus breaks the first (and probably also second) rule of great chicken by invariably producing a soggy skin.
Fortunately, there's a pretty easy fix. Spending 7 hours on low in a slow cooker renders the fat and connective tissue into a bath for the chicken to cook in. You end up with incredibly tender and juicy chicken with a nigh fat-less skin that's perfectly primed for crisping. Immediately re-seasoning and blasting it in a super high heat oven for 15 to 20 minutes crisps the skin and, as a bonus, solidifies the meat a bit so it's easier to eat with your hands.
ON WHOLE CHICKENS: I like to use a whole chicken and butcher it myself (there's a great guide on breaking down a whole chicken here) because it's cheaper, but you can totally just buy pre-cut chicken instead. In fact, feel free to only get the parts of the chicken you like best.
1 Whole chicken, separated into individual pieces
2 Tbsp Extra virgin olive oil
1 tsp Fresh ground black pepper
Preparation: 20 - 45 minutes, depending mostly on whether or not you're butchering the chicken yourself.
Cooking: 7 hours slow cooker, 15 - 20 minutes oven
1. Halve the onion and cut it into quarter inch slices. Throw the onion into the slow cooker and turn it to low.
2. Peel a billion cloves of garlic. I like to cut the top and bottom off the entire head...
...and shake it like a madman in a resealable container until most of the skin falls off.
Add the garlic to the slow cooker. You should now have an unreasonably delicious smelling bed of onion and garlic.
3. Toss the chicken pieces in oil, salt, paprika, and pepper. Add the chicken to the slow cooker and set yourself a timer for 7 hours. Prepare to spend the day in agonizing hunger as the smell of garlic chicken floods your home.
4. Pre-heat the oven to 525*F. Mine takes about 20 minutes to get that hot. Once the chicken has finished cooking in the slow cooker, GENTLY (oh so gently) remove the chicken with a pair of tongs piece by piece and arrange it on a baking sheet. Season with Adobo and Sazón.
HAH I GOT YOU I WAS ACTUALLY MAKING TWO CHICKENS THE WHOLE TIME. Also, to reiterate, seriously be gentle. The chicken should be falling apart very easily at this point. The pieces that I hid in order to make it look like I was only making one chicken are in noticeably rough shape here.
6. Bake the chicken for 10 minutes. Check on it to make sure it's not burning. It'll probably need another 5 minutes, possibly 10. It's done just when the skin begins to blacken.
Toss that chicken onto a plate without considering presentation and tear into it. Your reward for patiently waiting seven and a half hours.
BONUS STEP: Pour the liquid from the slow cooker through a strainer and into a mason jar. Refrigerate. Behold, a garlic powered concentrated chicken stock to use with soups, stews, and whatever else you may need a savory broth for. Just add water!
Also pictured, a Medieval Times cup.
