Reclaimist Revolution

Reclaiming Christian Marriages

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“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=John%203%3A16&version=NRSV

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 21 Reclaiming My Marriage Michael Beasley Photo by "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Unsplash Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? Amos 3:3 NIV In the past twenty days of this series, I’ve done quite a bit of self-reflection. I’ve covered gratitude, assessed my marriage, shared what I learned about marriage from my parents, identified false beliefs that plague my mind, wrote about my destructive behaviors, discovered the truth of God and how I act when I operate from the truth, discussed perseverance, explored forgiveness and came up with fight rules among many other exercises. The exercises are a great means for spiritual, personal, and relational development, but they’re all intended to lead to the infinite source who can redeem us, transform our lives, and save our marriage — God. The centrality of God is the key to a reclaimed life and a reclaimed marriage. God must be our priority. Amos 3:3 implies that when we walk with God, we agree with him. The first passage of scripture that describes disunity among God and his people is Genesis 3:8 (NIV), “Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.” The Garden of Eden was the perfect communal environment between God and his creation before sin severed the relationship. I can imagine Adam and Eve taking an evening stroll through an orchard as they enjoyed the company of The Almighty; a trio who were deeply in love with each other — husband, wife and God. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV It’s the purest picture of relationships which is to love God, love your neighbor, and love yourself. When Adam and Eve were in unity with God, they walked with Him, and that’s how we reclaim our marriage. Sin opened Adam and Even to fear and caused them to hide from God instead of walk with Him. When we walk with God as a husband and wife, we reclaim our marriage. We reclaim the relationship that sin destroyed in The Garden. It seems obvious but it worth saying that if we walk with God, then we have to be going in the same direction. He can’t be leading us one way while we go another way. We must walk together; husband, wife, and the Holy Spirit. Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has plans for us. Plans for me and my wife and plans for us. Us is who we are together. Marriage is our us-ness. Tissie and I have sought God for a vision for our marriage because having something that we desire to accomplish puts us on the same path. In our lifetime, we want to enrich 100,000 marriages by helping people reclaim their true self, reclaim their relationships, reclaim their life, and inspire others to do the same. Christianity Marriage Relationships Vision Purpose   Originally published on https://medium.com

http://reclaimist.blogspot.com/2019/05/3-weeks-to-new-marriage-day-21.html

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 20 My Superpower Michael Beasley The tongue has the power of life and death. Proverbs 18:21 NIV We all have a superpower within us according to Proverbs 18:21 — the power of our words. The ancient proverb goes as far as granting our words the power of life or death. Spiritual, physical, and emotional “life or death” is held in the power of the words the tongue produces. Spiritual The words we speak reveal our heart. The psalmist says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV). Jesus said that “the good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him” (Matthew 12:35 NIV). Controlling our tongue isn’t something that we can do without the power of the Holy Spirit (James 3:8) and without accepting Jesus’ atonement on the cross we are judged by our words: “For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words, you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:37). These are serious verses that emphasize the magnitude of what we say. If you were to collect your words then review them at the end of the week what would they reveal about your spiritual condition? Physical The power of the words to cause life or death is evident throughout history. With the single word “guilty” a jury can order the death penalty or can pronounce freed by declaring “not guilty.” Aren’t we glad for severe weather warns that are intended to save lives and for doctors who give medical advice that saves lives? There is indeed power in the words we speak. Emotional I shared in 

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 18 Feel The Love Michael Beasley Photo by "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Unsplash Love your neighbor as yourself. Luke 10:27 It’s mid-afternoon, and I’m staring at my computer monitor while listening to the construction noise in my neighborhood. I’m working productively, but I’m alone. I hate office jobs, so I work from home where I don’t have to deal with office politics, meaningless reports, time-off requests, and punching a time card. My last hourly wage job was in college yet multiple salary positions I’ve held required a time sheet. I don’t get it. It’s not like I got paid more when I worked more, so what’s the point? Honestly, I’m a terrible employee because I get bored in an office setting, so it makes sense for me to work from home. But I’m alone with the dog, construction noise, and the temptation to raid the pantry every hour and a half. Admittedly, there are times I miss the comradery between co-workers, the socialization while eating lunch in the break room, travel experiences and engaging with clients You’ve probably heard of the five love languages defined by Dr. Gary Chapman. They are: Words of Affirmation Acts of Service Receiving Gifts Quality Time Physical touch Because I work from home, it’s no surprise that my top two love languages are quality time and physical touch. When my wife gets home from work, I want to be with her, even if it’s in the kitchen cooking together. The days when my work carries on after dinner are a drag. I usually spend my time listening to Tissie in the evenings because I don’t have to talk to feel important. I simply need her to be present. Her presence is quality time for me. Quality time could be reading in bed together, driving kids to and from practice, going grocery shopping, cooking, or doing nothing at all. There was a period in my career when I spent six months a year on the road. Part of the emotional toll of being a road warrior was the lack of physical interaction with others beyond a handshake. I recall flying home at the end of a trip eager to hug my wife and kids. Physical touch is essential to me because it affirms the connectedness of my relationships, which is why I withdraw from people when I feel hurt in a relationship. Tissie’s top two love languages are physical touch (bonus for me!) and words of affirmation (not so good for me). We easily connect in sexual and non-sexual physical interaction, and it’s easy for me to feel loved by Tissie’s presence, but I don’t talk much, and she likes word’s of affirmations! So, what do I do? I know my wife likes notes because she leaves letters in my luggage and she writes notes on the bathroom mirror. I’m not good at remembering to write her notes accept in holiday cards. But I have figured out that it’s important that we talk during her lunch break, even if it’s for a few minutes. She feels loved when we take a few minutes to connect during lunch. According to my kids, I’m home watching TV and eating Cheetos, so I’m readily available to speak with Tissie during her mid-day break then again after she gets off work. It a habit we’ve formed that has proved enriching to our marriage. You and your entire family can discover your love languages 

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 17 My Behavior According To… Michael Beasley Photo by "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Unsplash I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalms 139:14 NIV I like personality profiles. I’ve taken several different personality profile assessments, and all have four different types that follow similar descriptions but go by different names, but I’m most familiar with the DISC behavioral assessment. Here is a simplified overview of the four different DISC types described in a few words: D = Dominate and DirectI = Influential and InteractiveS = Stable and SecureC = Cautious and Correct My wife and I have tracked our DISC profiles for over a dozen years, and every time we take the assessment we’re intrigued with the results. My behavioral styles have stayed the same but get stronger. Tissie’s changed quite a bit since the last time she did the assessment. The internet many choices of free online assessments, but I like Tony Robbin’s 

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 16 Get Ready To Rumble Michael Beasley Photo by "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Unsplash I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14 NIV Can we fight fair? In "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Day 6 of this series, I discussed the struggles of visiting family. It’s not like we don’t have plenty of invitations, it’s time and money that are the limiting factors — the same reasons we don’t visit my mom in Hawaii. Do I want my wife to spend as much time with her mom in Texas, dad in Colorado, and her twin sister in New York? Of course, I do! And I want my kids to have a relationship with their grandparents and cousins. (In case you missed it — we have family in Colorado, Texas, New York, and Hawaii.) Family ties are important to us. My family is the reason why we moved to Southern New Mexico. As much as we love family, we hate credit card debt and to keep up with all the family invitations means we’d have to spend money we don’t have to accept them. During our surprise fight, I suggested that we reconsider our view on accumulating debt if it meant spending more time with family. Tissie rejected entertaining the idea. So, the issue wasn’t about money. What about time? We have three kids who are committed to various activities including volunteering, babysitting, football, basketball, and band. My wife recently decided to drive six hours one-way to spend a single night with her mom in Texas. My daughter went with her so she could be dropped off for spring break with family friends and I had to convince my 15-year-old son to help his mom drive because my youngest son didn’t want to miss his weekend basketball game so I stayed home with him. When we agree to participate in activities, we also agree not to things that conflict with them, including travel. We have to schedule a summer vacation around work and football practice which only leaves two possible weeks as options of the entire summer! It’s not just the kids who commit to their activities, Tissie and I are also committed to them. We all agreed to do what we do even if it prevents us from seeing family. Time and money aren’t what made Tissie cry when I brought up the topic of visiting family. And we both agree that spend time with family is important. Why is this topic such a big deal? Tissie feels that I don’t value her input and desire to visit her family and I feel stuck like we’re never going to find a good solution. When we both recognize the negative feelings, then we’re able to move forward to find a solution. We tried it again this morning as we were casually getting ready for the day. It worked. Without tears, tension, or terror, it worked. We decided to visit her aunt in Northern New Mexico during spring break. We live on the complete opposite end of the state, so there’s plenty of sight-seeing along the way if we decide to add adventure to our road trip. Christianity Marriage Family Family Travel Relationships   Originally published on https://medium.com

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 15 Fight Rules Michael Beasley Photo by "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Unsplash Fight the good fight of the faith. 1 Timothy 6:12 NIV Let’s face it, in the heat of an argument there are no rules, and people get hurt and living in fear of rejection, humiliation, abandonment, or physical harm makes it impossible to experience a healthy relationship. The Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP) purports that healthy, intimate relationships require three types of safety. The three types of safety needed for a healthy relationship: Commitment Safety — Security of support and a clear, committed future together. Emotional Safety — Being able to express thoughts and feelings openly and accept one another’s differences. Physical Safety — Freedom from physical harm, the threat of physical harm, withholding medical care or medication, or other physical needs. The PREP identifies safety and security as foundations for a healthy relationship, so creating fight rules that allow engagement while maintaining safety and security are essential for the married couple.

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 14 Pick A Fight Michael Beasley In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26 Call me crazy, but I want to pick a fight with my wife for experimental purposes because I’ve identified my lower self and destructive behaviors, but I’ve also discovered a new way of thinking and acting through my Reclaimed Self, and I want to see what happens. Do I revert to my lower self or does my Reclaimed Self triumph? The image is a brush fire 6.5 miles from my house that happened a couple of weeks ago. The fire occurred a couple of days before a prescribed burned was scheduled to clear the area of overgrown brush. It was a little too close for comfort but didn’t pose a public threat and, thankfully, the fire was extinguished overnight by state and local firefighters. Practice Makes Permanent Like a prescribed burn is intended to reduce the hazard of an actual wildfire, my controlled fight is meant to do the same. I’m curious about the results we’ll experience form an intentional and planned fight. Will the argument get out of control and spread like wildfire or will I rely on the Holy Spirit to help me operate from my Reclaimed Self? The overgrown vegetation in a controlled burn provides plenty of fuel for the fire under strict supervision, so if I want to spark a fight with my wife, then I need to pick a subject that ignites easily. What should we fight about? The first subject that comes to mind is finances. A quick web search for “finance and divorce statistics” yields hundreds of thousands of articles. It looks like finances remain one of the highest reasons for divorce in North America. Discussing finances proved challenging for our relationship because I like talking about money management and creating budgets. For Tissie, on the other hand, the discussion stirs up insecurities. I tried approaching the financial discussion from the professional aspect of running our household and used terms like, “the budget,” and “budget meeting,” both of which increased Tissie’s apprehension to engage in any type talk about our money. I was trying to be objective, not insensitive. Sorry, Tissie! We’ve spent years finding a constructive way to communicate about money, and I’m happy to report that talking about finances isn’t a hot topic for us any longer. So, let’s pick the topic of traveling to see family. On 

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 13 What I desire most… Michael Beasley Nothing deflates me or sends me over the top than feeling disrespected. However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 The Apostle Paul knew what he was talking about when he wrote Ephesians 5:33, probably because he was a man and shares my greatest emotional desire — respect. I feed off of R-E-S-P-E-C-T! It’s the fuel that lights my fire and keeps it burning. Ladies, please understand, and my wife will testify, that I don’t demand respect from her, I earn it. She shows me respect out of the love I demonstrate to her. I don’t have the God-given right to be respected. Gaining respect is like learning how to love my wife; it’s a process. Here’s another acrostic from the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs: CHAIRS: Conquer Hierarchy Authority Insight Relationship Sexuality When my wife first read about CHAIRS she was intimidated by the words it represents. With words like CONQUER, HIERARCHY, and AUTHORITY I can see how CHAIRS could be threatening and even offensive to some women, so I asked my wife to give her point of view about what CHAIRS means to her. When I respect my husband’s desire to work, to protect and provide, to serve and lead me and our family, to advise and give counsel and when I respect his need and desire for sex it brings peace to our marriage and a level of intimacy and closeness that we long for. — Tissie Wow. Remember 

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 12 My wife feels loved when I… Michael Beasley Photo by "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Unsplash A woman’s most basic emotional need is to feel loved while a man wants to feel respected. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25, 28 Feeling loved is like air to a woman, and it creates a sense of security and trust. God created women to love; it’s in their nature to nurture and care for others. My wife is wired to express love, but she also has a sincere desire to feel loved by me. How do I express love to my wife? In his book, Love and Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs uses this acrostic: COUPLE: Closeness Openness Understanding Peacemaking Loyalty Esteem These six things help a woman feel loved. I have to remind myself that my wife wants to feel close to me, be open and honest about her feelings, know that I am seeking to understand her and listen, she wants to be at peace with me, know that I am committed to her, and she wants to be cherished and encouraged and know that what she is doing doesn’t go unseen. Closeness My wife feels loved when she is close to me. There are days and, sometimes, weeks that Tissie and I feel like we’re two ships passing in the night. Maybe our schedule is super busy, or we’re taking turns caring for a sick kid that needs a lot of attention, or perhaps one of us is sick, so the other one is left with the responsibility of overseeing the affairs of our house and family. During those times, it’s easy to feel distant from each other. For my wife, closeness can mean being nearby. Tissie often follows me throughout the house while I’m doing other things so that she can be close to me. She let me do my thing while quietly remaining in the background so she can be close to me. But more proximity, closeness is connecting beyond just trying to figure out how we’re going to manage our kids’ schedule for the week. She wants to feel emotionally connected to me through openness and understanding. Openness My wife feels loved when I’m open to listening to her. For Tissie, openness means that I’m receptive and accepting of her willingness to express what she’s feeling. It’s fairly easy — she talks, I listen. The nice thing is that Tissie doesn’t care if I’m listening to her while I’m driving or cooking or doing some other chore. Not all our conversations happen while we’re trying to accomplish routine tasks. Tissie and I set aside time to talk. When we recognize the need to speak face to face, we intentionally set aside time to do so. Usually, our time to communicate one-on-one is after dinner when we can retreat to our room. Understanding My wife feels loved when I understand her. If I can relay back to her what she is telling me or ask additional questions about the topic, then Tissie knows that I’m listening to her and not just nodding my head habitually while I’m grilling the hamburgers. My wife is a verbal processor which means she thinks out loud. I’m the opposite. I think then speak. When I allow her to think and if I can summarize what she said then she feels understood. Peacemaking My wife feels loved when we’re at peace. Because of the distance, it creates between us, neither one of us do well when we’re at odds with each other. So, we’ve learned to stay engaged through the power of an apology, and the freedom of forgiveness. Being at peace is also being in unity. Having a clear vision or goal that we’re moving towards is peaceful as well as agreeing on how to rear our kids. Providing for my family is peaceful for my wife because she wants to feel secure. Loyalty My wife feels loved when I show her I’m committed. Financial responsibility is a way Tissie feels my loyalty to her and our family. Money was one of Tissie’s hot buttons, but she experiences increased freedom from her financial insecurities that were grounded in her upbringing. Her dad worked in the oil field, made a decent living but was wasteful with money which was one of the factors that led to divorce. Tissie’s mom taught her that wives have to be able to provide for their family because husbands can’t be trusted with that responsibility. This belief created a tremendous amount of pressure and internal conflict for Tissie who wanted to stay home with her babies. I show commitment to my wife by being responsible with our money. Esteem My wife feels loved when I cherish her. And… My wife feels cherished when I recognize her accomplishments and when I hold her thoughts, emotions, and perspectives in high esteem. She wants to feel important to me. She feels important through closeness, openness, understanding, peacemaking, and loyalty. Tissie feels cherished when I express my appreciation for her hard work at her job. She feels important when I share the responsibilities of driving the kids around town for their various activities. She feels cherished when I’m open to her desire to have friends over for dinner. If you’re wife reading this, then I encourage you to take some time to think about how you feel loved through closeness, openness, understanding, peacemaking, loyalty, and esteem. If you’re a husband reading this, ask your wife how you can express love to her through closeness, openness, understanding, peacemaking, loyalty, and esteem. Love Christianity Marriage Relationships   Originally published on https://medium.com

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 11 Celebrating Success Michael Beasley Photo by "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Unsplash Recognizing success makes deposits into my emotional bank account and keeps my attention on the positive aspects of life. As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. James 5:11 Perseverance is essential for having a good marriage. If marriage had a job description, perseverance would be one of the requirements and similar to on-the-job training, perseverance requires hands-on learning along with a healthy dose of Holy Ghost Power. Thankfully, those who persevere are counted as blessed, and I’m blessed. What does perseverance look like in a marriage and how is it fueled? The foundation of perseverance is grounded in faith — a belief that God will do what He says He’ll do. Romans 10:17 says that faith comes through hearing from God. In Day 5 of this series, I discussed ways we hear from God. God spoke the universe into existence, so his voice is our strength and life and breath. It propels us forward as we persevere. When my relationship with my wife didn’t look like it would survive, I held onto the vision that the Holy Spirit gave me — a wife and family who accomplished God’s purposes together. Perseverance is a learned attribute. Would you agree? My first boss would frequently tell me, “Keep on keeping on,” when we faced difficulties at work. It was his way of encouraging me as a new manager for his startup company, and it captures the essence of perseverance — to persist through difficulties. Anything that needs persistence means there’s learning involved. It was challenging for my wife and me to gather desirable aspects of marriage from our parents’ relationship because of their history of divorce, but we could identify what we didn’t want — divorce. I was 25-years old when my marriage exploded, but the aftermath helped me realize that I didn’t know how to be married. It sounds obvious, but it was like someone turn on the lights to my brain, and I got it . . . I could learn how to be married. If I didn’t know how to show love to wife, or how to communicate what I was feeling and if I wasn’t confident in my identity then I could learn how to love my wife, I could learn how to identify my emotions, and I could discover my true self. I persevered by learning. Exercising an attitude of gratitude and focusing on the positive have proved beneficial to my marriage. One way I maintain an optimistic perspective is by recalling the success and achievements made each day, even the smallest of achievements are worthy of note. One year ago I started my daily success journal where I write at least ten accomplishments from the previous day. Journaling in the morning works best for me because I use the very first part of the morning for prayer, reflection, and reading scripture. Recognizing the smallest success puts me in a position to look for the good rather than dwell on the difficulties and obstacles. It’s a practice that helps perseverance. List ten things you achieved yesterday. Recognize them, express gratitude for them, enjoy them and find a way to celebrate. Christianity Marriage Relationships Perseverance Success   Originally published on https://medium.com

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 10 Be A Reclaimist Michael Beasley Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17 Photo by "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Unsplash Sometimes I feel like a two-headed monster. On "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Day 8 of this series, I shared about my terrible destructive behaviors that rear their ugly heads when my hot buttons are pushed. It’s like there are two ugly sides of me. One side is an authoritarian the other side is a coward. I either try to force compliance or I escape. I’ve been accused of being cold-hearted because of my tendency to withdraw and withhold my emotions. One of my wife’s big lies is that she isn’t lovable so she becomes clingy. Picture the scenario: We get in an argument over something, anything, and I react by giving her the cold shoulder which pushes her hot button of not being lovable and she, in turn, starts becoming a clingy wife who is longing for me to validate my love for her. The more I push her away, the more she chases me down to feel loved. Ugh, I’m sure you have a cycle like ours that you know too well. Let’s say we have the same argument, but we take a moment to say no to the lower-self and choose to operate from the higher-self, the Reclaimed Self. The situation looks a lot different. Instead of emotionally withdrawing, I remain engaged which makes my wife feel loved, so she doesn’t become clingy but instead gives me space to process. Because we both choose to operate in our Reclaimed Self, we can work through our conflict without spiraling out of control. By the way, you can choose to live from your Reclaimed Self even if those around you remain trapped in their lower-self. How does my Reclaimed Self respond when I feel disrespected? Instead of becoming an authoritarian I respond with PEACE because I have the gift of peace when I’m full of the Holy Spirit. I am also open and hopeful. I like my Reclaimed Self. Life Lessons Christianity Marriage Relationships Love   Originally published on https://medium.com

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https://youtu.be/9sNBBQ4AGIo Day 11: How Do You Celebrate Your Success? - Reclaim Your Marriage Challenge **** Get The Reclaimist Revolution Mobile Wallpaper for FREE **** Get our mobile wallpaper of the Reclaimist Revolution Creed ----Download Your FREE Ebook---- To get the worksheet referenced in today's video download your FREE copy of the ebook, Reclaim Your Marriage 21-Day Challenge This is Day 11 of the Reclaim Your Marriage 21-Day Challenge. The 21-Day challenge is a Christian marriage YouTube series presented by Michael and Tissie Beasley from Reclaimist Revolution and is a great place to start if you're in a difficult relationship and you recently did a web search for "How to save my marriage?" Or maybe you have a great relationship and are looking for strong marriage tips that will keep you on a path of happiness. Celebrating your wins, accomplishments, and success is an essential aspect of living a Reclaimed Life. As Tony Robbins says, “You can only build on success.” What can you celebrate that will give you the strength, knowledge, and power to have a successful marriage? Connect with Reclaimist Revolution online: Facebook https://www.fb.me/reclaimistrev Twitter https://twitter.com/reclaimistrev Tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/reclaimistrevolution reclaim your marriage, focus on the family, reclaimist revolution, 21-day challenge, Michael Beasley, Tissie Beasley, Christian Marriage Advice, Christian Marriage Book, celebrate success

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 9 My Reclaimed Self Michael Beasley Photo by "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Unsplash You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self…and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22 NIV Put off the old and put on the new. I’ve attempted to identify my old self the past few days. But first, I’d like to make a small change in the wording to help me visualize my old self. Ephesians 4:22 isn’t instructing me to disregard my future self, but the Apostle Paul is referring to my old way of life before I decided to follow Jesus. So, I’d like to call it my lower-self. Okay? Although I experienced salvation through Jesus Christ, I continually am being saved from my lower-self. It’s not like all my terrible thoughts, feelings, behaviors and all other sins just vanished from me the moment I decided to follow Jesus. I’m continually learning, growing, and moving forward with my relationship with God and the Holy Spirit and together we deal with lower-self issues as they arise. Like on Day 7 of this series when I turned into an authoritarian when my daughter wouldn’t relinquish her mobile phone. There are many Christians who are sin-focused, almost like they’re keeping score to see if they won or lost their salvation for the day based on their adherence to religious tenets. Because I’d instead put my energy in who I want to be rather than what I’m not, I don’t focus on sin. But that doesn’t mean I don’t recognize it then deal with it. I just spent the last few days identifying the sinful nature of my lower-self that still creeps up in my life, so now I want to shift my focus to my higher-self, my true identity in Christ, and who I am through the saving power of Jesus’ death, burial, resurrection, and ascension. So, I’m going to focus on the truth that I discovered on Day 5. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. Philippians 4:8 NIV Here are my top statement of truths from Day 5 with scriptural references that support each statement. I am wonderfully made → I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14 NIV I am loved and valuable → Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life. Isaiah 43:4 NIV God is with me → Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV I have everything that pertains to life and godliness → His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3 NIV I am free to be me It is for freedom that Christ has set us free… Galatians 5:1 Christianity Self-awareness Self Improvement Marriage   Originally published on https://medium.com

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 8 Stealing from my marriage Michael Beasley Mar 5 STOP! Turn to Ephesians chapter 4 and read verses 25–32. This chapter in Ephesians gives instructions for Christian living that are 100% applicable to marriage. Known for the instructing wives to submit to their husbands, Ephesians 5:21–33 is the go-to scripture used to preach sermons on marriage since the canonization of the Bible, but the Apostle Paul starts his discourse on family relations and proper Christian living in chapter 4. Chapter 4 lays the foundations for Paul’s insight on how a husband and wife relate to each other, in which he later reveals in chapter 5. Some of his instructions include: To put on the new self which is righteous and holy To tell the truth Don’t let your anger lead to sin Watch what you say Being kind and compassionate Practice forgiveness Did you notice that all these instructions are about how we relate to one another? Except for one. Right in the middle of Paul’s guide to proper Christian relationships, he interjects a statement about stealing. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Ephesians 4:28 NIV Why would he place a statement about stealing in a section that describes relationships? Perhaps, he’s implying that we can steal from our relationships because in the surrounding verses the Apostle Paul talks about lying, anger issues, verbal and physical abuse, bitterness, rage, slander, and every form of malice. Could it be that any time we practice one of these things, we steal from our relationships? How I Robbed My Marriage If I think about stealing from my relationships, I have to ask how I’ve stolen from my marriage. A couple of my destructive behaviors are withdrawing and withholding. I withdraw from my wife by avoiding her and the present conflict and I withhold my emotions. I’ve done it over and over again and it’s one of the many factors that caused my marriage to blow up five years into it. So, I’ve robbed my wife of my physical and emotional presence, which proved highly damaging to our relationship. What have you stolen from your marriage?

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http://www.bible-sms.com/bible-texts/bible-verse-of-the-day-social-media.php?verse=Luke+1:50  Luke 1:50 - His mercy extends to those who fear Him, from generation to generation. (NIV)  bible verse, bible study, inspiration, christianity, faith, god, motivation, bible quote  peace  Like this Bible Verse? Please share it with others!

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3 Weeks To A New Marriage-Day 7 My Destructive Behaviors Michael Beasley Let us behave decently. Romans 13:13 How do I react in the heat of a conflict? The answer varies depending on which one of my buttons are pushed. Yesterday I wrote about "); text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Kyle Glenn on 

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