&& Juliet

Kai Rinko Gordon;; Twenty Years Old Archer && Resident Zombie Encylopedia

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desperation ; kai & open

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sgtblake:

Oh fuck, she’s crying. Henry shifts awkwardly on his feet. He knows you’re supposed to console people when they’re sad, but Henry’s bad at reading these kind of situations. Would a hug be appropriate? Or a pat on her shoulder? Or should he just back away nice and slowly, like if it was a bear in front of him instead of a young, scared girl. Henry swallows hard when he shifts awkwardly on his feet. Now would be the time to use his words.

“That’s not going to happen. Everyone is going to be fine,” He says firmly, hoping that she’ll meet his eyes. Henry believes it, he honestly, truly does, because if he didn’t believe it, he’d have nothing left. They will survive, they will endure, they will live long enough to rebuild. It’s the only thing that keeps him grounded, knowing that he has all of these lives to protect. It’s their humanity, their desire to keep going, that separates them from the zulus. And Henry isn’t going to forget that any time soon.

“Come on. You can use my room so no one interrupts you. Leo won’t be back until dinner time. ” Kai has active roommates who come and go from the run. It isn’t their fault, but Kai looks in such a desperate need of a nap that Henry doesn’t want it interrupted. That feeling, the one that someones sparks around Colton, flares in his chest. Henry thinks for a fleeting moment that he’s getting too close to some of these people, too fond of his civilians. He’s here to do a job; all he has to do is get them to safety. He doesn’t need to be their friends or care about them. They’re the equivalent of cargo, waiting to be protected and dropped off at a designated location.

“There’s some work I need peace and quiet to get done, too.” It’s not entirely true, but it also isn’t a lie. Henry usually prefers to stretch out over the dining room table a couple of hours after when most people take ‘dinner’, which is honestly just canned foods and any possible leftovers from lunch. It’s not like they have a fridge to store any hot meals, so if they don’t get re-heated that day, they go to waste. And a real meal isn’t something to just toss away. In those late hours of the night that stretch into early hours of the morning, Henry gets his peace and quiet, along with the noises that come with an overcrowded

There was a part of Kai, albeit small, that wanted to ignore Henry’s orders - wanting to just turn away from him and keep walking no matter what anyone from the group told her. For a moment, she thought that it would have been easier than doing what Henry was asking - commanding - her to do. She couldn’t just stop. She couldn’t risk losing anyone else and even though there were other members on patrol, Kai could only trust herself to live up to her own expectations of safety. 

The more Henry talked, the more tired Kai seemed to feel. It was as if every word was a heavy blanket being draped over her thoughts, keeping her warm and safe and causing her eyelids to want to drift father and father down. He always had this type of calming effect on her. In fact, in normal circumstances, he was the only person that Kai trusted more than herself - the only one that Kai would go against her own instincts to follow blindly. 

Maybe this was what she had wanted. Maybe her constant and reckless 28 hour patrol had been an attempt to get some sort of comfort and reassurance out of Henry that was otherwise scarce and tough to receive through normal means. Though it was doubtful that she had done all of this, had gone through the emotional and physical stress for as long as she had, in a desperate attempt for attention in a time of extreme terror, it didn’t mean that she wasn’t sadly grateful for it. 

Slowly, she nodded and ducked her head to wipe her cheek on her shoulder. “No one else.” she muttered. “No one else, Henry. Is it - Is it too much to ask you to promise me that? I just can’t...” In the haze of her exhaustion, Kai hadn’t noticed that her legs had grown stiff in the short amount of time that she had been stopped in her confrontation with Henry. She took a step towards the house and hissed as her muscles did their best to fight her on it. 

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Monster || Colton & OPEN

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colton-langley:

Colton can see the bob of her head at his offer, and it brings a subtle smile to his own face. Some fresh air will clear his head, and maybe Kai’s as well. He didn’t outright ask her about her sleeplessness, he’s not nosy enough to ever pry into those details about anyone’s life, but from Colton’s experience with Kai with time will come the answers. She seems to trust him with gross emotions and such for reasons unknown to him, but everyone needs someone. He figures he can be decent enough to listen in and be a pillar of some sort for her despite how flimsy he can truly be.

While he follows after, Colton keeps his steps light. He has to return to his room to fetch his longer sleeved jacket and sneakers before returning to the first floor. When he woke up he wasn’t anticipating a walk around the farmhouse. It’s too chilly for just a t-shirt at this time, and he will never go barefooted outdoors. Ever.

Colton makes sure that he stops in the side closet meant for coats in the nice friendly days to grab the bat that he stowed away for his own protection while they’re out and then they’re both slipping through the front door. Perhaps undetected, perhaps not. He wouldn’t be surprised if Henry peeked out while they were sneaking around like they were up to some mischief, but there is no ill intent. Kai is allowed to make rounds, and Colton can always insist he deserves praise for being a good Samaritan and accompanying a nineteen year old outside at night. True, she can handle zulu better than him, but it’s the thought that always apparently counts.

Exposure in the dark with nothing but the light of the moon and Kai’s flashlight causes for a feeling of uneasiness to sweep through him. Colton chews on the inside of his cheek. The usual confidence he would feel during the day is gone, but his steps remain steady and sure while he follows beside their archer. There is a slight puff of fog on his exhale of air, and it’s the chill that settles in his skin that truly makes it feel like Fall has set in. He would enjoy it more if the concern of monster lurking in the shadows didn’t overwhelm the sense of relief.

A soft hum produces in response to what Kai says, what she has to say is interesting enough. Colton cocks his head and raises both of his brows when his eyes break from the path the flashlight has set for them to search her face. Is this what’s keeping her awake? “While I’m all for the defiance of authoritative figures- trust me, I spent a good chunk of my teenage years running and hiding from cherry tops- but I would have to argue with you and say now is not the time for that.” But Colton isn’t here to sound scolding. By any means, he can’t when he starts to chuckle lowly. Despite the fact her vote is one that causes an even draw, he can find a reason to laugh about it.

“I think you spend too much time beating yourself up over the small stuff.” Small wouldn’t be the right word to use, but Colton doesn’t want to make it sound worse. “Live and learn. If it’s something some of these people have taught me is that we’re here together, whether some of us like it or not, so everyone still has each other’s back no matter their position on the matter. That includes you.”

Kai glanced over at Colton with a soft smile as they made their way across the dark yard. It was nice to hear his opinion in the rare moments that he decided to offer it. Lately, he seemed to be more vocal with her than he was in the beginning and Kai liked to believe that even with his tough exterior, that maybe he considered her a friend in some sense of the word at the very least. “Well hey, you’re welcome for my vote then.” she responded, kicking a rock that she watched pass under the beam of the flashlight and shoot out into the darkness. 

Colton’s next statement caused Kai to wrinkle her nose. She was all for constructive criticism, in fact she grew to enjoy it when out on the field with those more experienced than her. She loved whenever Henry felt generous enough to teach her a hand signal or a new way to do something that she would get stuck or frustrated with on runs. But this - the way that she always seemed to punish herself first over those she loved or adored, was what she would admit to being her fatal flaw. Somehow, it was always easy for her to blame herself over others. She nodded though. “I wouldn’t hesitate to shoot to save any one of you. I wouldn’t hesitate no matter what the situation is.” 

Kai bit down on her lip, chewing and breaking the sensitive skin there with a flinch. A thought had been nagging at her since she had first learned that Alex had died on the supply run. A thought that was more of a superstition she didn’t want to admit to believing in. “Have you ever heard of the rule of threes and sevens?” she asked, swallowing hard as she swung her flashlight up ahead of them a ways and then back to the ground before them. “My mom worked as a nurse in a hospital before she died - and they had this superstition called the rule of threes and sevens. If two people died, a third was almost always going to join them. If more than three died, the number always ended up being seven.” Kai listened to the soft sounds of their foot falls for a moment. “I don’t know if I believe it. I never really have. But I can’t stop thinking about it and worrying.” She cut her eyes over to look at Colton, hoping that her words weren’t going to strike any sort of cord with him.

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desperation ; kai & open

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sgtblake:

“You’re not scheduled for patrol, and even if you were, I sure as hell wouldn’t let you out looking like that.” Henry would know, he writes them himself. He’s tried to do things the semi-nice way, but just as he had expected, Kai’s being difficult. She’s a stubborn girl, and Henry won’t hold that against her unless it threatens her safety or someone else’s. His words are blunt and they lack any tact, but they aren’t mean or rude. There’s concern on his face, hidden under that look that Jay’s dubbed “Sergeant Cranky Pants”, that shines out through his eyes when he sees how shaky Kai really is. Now that she’s standing still, Henry’s surprised she hasn’t bowled over from exhaustion with the way she looks.

“Listen kid,” Henry’s voice drops lower, less abrasive, as he looks her over again. He can guess what this is about pretty damn easily, and it breaks his heart. “I know you feel helpless right now, and like you want to keep everyone safe, but you have to take care of yourself. We’re worried about you. Maya’s been telling me that she barely sees you any more.”

Henry clears his throat. He’s awful at this kind of thing. Soldiers are trained to run and run and run right until the second their body stops working. But Kai isn’t a soldier. She isn’t trained for the stress her body is under and while Henry trusts her in the field the same way he would trust a member of his squad, he reminds himself constantly that she’s different. They’re all different. When it’s your PFCs or even you Corporals, you don’t need the heart-to-hearts. They happen, rarely in moments of indecision and grief, but for the most part you keep your shit tucked away and you keep it together until you’re back at base and can afford to let something slip.

“Being out here isn’t going to bring them back Kai. The only way to stop deaths is to make sure you’re in top form. Eating properly, sleeping regularly, and keeping to the patrol schedule.” It’s sort of hypocritical, and Henry recognizes that. He’s the first person to do unsolicited patrols, to run doubles throughout the day. The difference is, he never pushes himself past that point of no return. Past that breaking point where he knows his perception will be altered and he’ll be at risk for something incredibly unlucky or stupid to happen. It’s a miracle Kai hasn’t tripped over her own feet and hit her head on something dense or sharp with the state she’s in. Henry won’t budge on this one, not when they’ve lost so much already.

Kai glanced back at the house at the mention of Maya. She usually stops in to see Maya every day, always enjoying the small talk that the woman seemed to be a natural at coming up with. Maya was always good at taking Kai’s mind off her problems - off her insecurities - so maybe it was adding to the negativity that she had gone a few days without at least stopping in for a quick hello every time she went back to the house to refill her water. 

Still, while Henry’s words rang true without any sense of doubt, Kai was reluctant to stop cutting her path around the yard. Her legs ached. Her head pounded with a tension headache. The fingers that were tightly wrapped around the center of her bow were splintered and raw from her habit of picking at the rough wood there.  There was not a place on Kai that didn’t ache or hurt or beg for rest inside or out. Yet still, Kai wanted to press on because she knew the moment she wasn’t focused on moving her feet and eyes across the yard, her mind would take over and run her into the ground instead and the last thing she wanted to do was let the events of the last week catch up to her now. 

“I know I can’t br-bring them back.” she sniffled, voice only above a whisper. “But I can’t lose anyone else right now. Not you. Not Colton. Not Jess or Cam or Fallon or Jay or-” In her head she was back to being alone before meeting the group. She was back to having that dying woman’s head in her lap except this time, she saw everyone else’s faces there instead. 

She turned her eyes to Henry, shaking and afraid all at once as her emotions sluggishly caught up to her and took her over. “I don’t want to be alone, Henry.” Tired tears pricked at her eyes and her hand that was holding the bow dropped, leaving the weapon hanging over her shoulder where it usually rested. Feeling too exhausted to sob, she just let the tears leak out from behind her lids and wrapped her arms around herself and did her best to ride the tsunami waves of emotions that were threatening to collapse in on her. 

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desperation ; kai & open

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sgtblake:

Maya brings it up to him. She’s been more nervous than usual, and while they usually chat once a week, Henry feels like he sees her almost every day. Their resident den mother keeps a watchful eye on every member of the group, and when she sees something out of place, she makes a note. This time, Henry knows what she’s going to be up. Or rather, who. Kai has been MIA around the house, and the one time Henry went to see if she was in her room but finds the space empty. He remembers seeing a figure roaming around, inside of the fence, when he was talking to Jess outside. Henry hadn’t really thought anything of it, until he saw her again when he was out on a patrol the next day, when he got far, far away from Richard, and again when he was waiting for the post-dinner patrol to come in.

Kai’s always been sort of soft. It’s endearing on her, but Henry wonders if all of the death is finally catching up to her. Henry doesn’t know how Kai voted, and he also doesn’t know where she stands, exactly. She can be quiet around him and Henry usually enjoys the lack chatter, but now he’s worried.

So he moves. He makes sure that Kai is alone, because he doesn’t want to embarrass her in front of anyone else. Enough is enough, though. Henry knows his limit, and he knows his limit is larger than Kai’s. She’s running herself raw out here, and his fears are only confirmed when he manages to get the jump on her. Henry’s footsteps aren’t clumsy, but he’s a big man and there’s only so much you can do to mask your steps. He’s careful not to step on twigs and tries to avoid ruffling anything, but Henry is still Henry.

“It’s time to stand down, soldier. You look awful, and if I can sneak up on you then a zulu would have no problem doing the same. You need rest.” His voice is firm and authoritative, and he hopes that the tone will avoid an argument and she’ll just listen.

Kai doesn’t want to admit it but she’s far past a safe point of exhaustion. She’d been denying it with every stumble in the past few hours, boots seeming to catch on air and giving her barely enough time to catch herself, but it was true. It was stupid of her to do this - to keep pushing herself without rest. She stubbornly ignored the fact that her arms could barely draw her bow anymore without shaking, which is why she hadn’t even drawn an arrow for a few hours now. Yet, this felt like the only thing she could do anymore.

Though she didn’t jump, Henry’s voice had startled her. How had she not noticed him approaching her? Henry’s movements had always been easy for her to pick up on, even at his quietest. It might be partly because she spent so much time in the field with him, listening to his movements well enough that she could pick them out while in combat to calm her nerves. 

Really, she had been expecting this. Expecting Henry to come out once it became apparent that she was by no means capable of stopping herself. A part of her watched the front door in the morning for him to appear and bee line towards her and take her inside. A part of her watched the front door in the morning with apprehension, hoping that another day would pass where she wasn’t bothered and allowed to continue her restless track around the fence. 

“Henry.” Kai started, voice lacking any amount of strength to come out as more than a sigh. Any amount of argument that she had planned in the day or so she had been out here was threatened and shied away at the tone of Henry’s voice. She swallowed tentatively, feet still moving forward though slower now and with less purpose. “I can’t sleep. I have to do rounds.” 

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Monster || Colton & OPEN

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colton-langley:

If Colton had the energy he would be faking some form of dissatisfaction with Kai’s response. Maybe cross his arms over his chest in a more authoritative way, foot tapping impatiently as if he were a father demanding an answer as to why she was up after her curfew or something. But he’s tired so he just chuckles again and adds to the joke, “Well, as long as your homework is done, do whatever you want.”

He isn’t extremely close to Kai or anything, but Colton can say that he likes her. He doesn’t dislike her, which is a big deal, and she’s not the target of his instigative nature if he can so help it. She has spoken to him about her guilt regarding the zulu in the past and he’s quietly listened and never repeated a word she’s relayed to him. Her self-blame is odd which of course Colton finds it ridiculous, but he never says so out loud. She’s young, though, and he’s one of the few closer to her age so he thinks he understands to an extent. Most of everyone else is older than the both of them, but with the newly added Fallon in the mix he is no longer second youngest.

Colton’s eyebrows furrow, and his mouth twists into a frown. Circles find a permanent home under his eyes most days, but he’s dealt with sleepless nights and late bedtimes for half a decade now. Four hours here, six there… he is adjusted enough. He feels bad for anyone else dealing with insomniac tendencies, and he wonders if it’s Kai own self-inflicted guilt bubbling up and rearing it’s ugly head this late at night. “I don’t sleep this early, usually,” he fibs about having that nightmare. He doesn’t want to talk about it, not right now. Kai wasn’t on the run so he doesn’t feel a need to expose the details that may have been spared when Alex’s death was told to everyone around. 

“It’s too hot for me to want to cuddle up with Richard before I can fall asleep.” Colton shrugs with a blank slate of emotion on his face and reaches back for his cigarette that he puts out against the windowsill before sticking it behind his ear. “Want company for your rounds?” It can’t be a problem if he grabs that bat and sticks with Kai. Even if it’s late, it’s technically not breaking a rule, is it?

Kai’s heart panged for just a moment - a dull, well known pain radiating and filled up her bones for a moment. His words, the playfulness about homework, reminded her of her late father. She’d already made as much peace as she could with his death, though she wasn’t proud of how the stage of anger still stuck around whenever she found herself frustrated enough - but losing a parent was always something that would be a source of pain for anyone. 

She nearly jumped excitedly at the question. There had been a moment where she was afraid he would try to convince her to go back to bed. She knew a few of the others in the house would have. She knew at least one of her roommates would have, had she woken them. Thankfully, Colton wasn’t like them and maybe it was this reason alone that Kai enjoyed the silent company of his so much. She nodded without a moment of hesitation, tucking a piece of her unruly hair behind her ear and tilting her head towards the door. 

Her feet moved fast but silent and she let her hearing reach out to the rest of the house, pausing only a moment after opening the door to listen for any stirring from the rooms around. Of course, she didn’t think that she and Colton were the only ones asleep and the only ones listening. Surely someone else would be plagued with restlessness as well. She was just checking - hoping - that no one came out to see what they were up to. 

Once her feet touched the dirt past the front steps, Kai took in a tight breath. All the worries of being in the house, enclosed, disappeared but were replaced immediately by the worries that came with being out here, in the open. They were vulnerable out here. There were things that could be hiding in the darkness just meters in front of them that they had no idea of. But it was better to have room to comfortably draw her bow and know that, without a doubt, she wouldn’t have trouble defending herself with a shot here. “I’m starting to hate this farm. I voted to stay because I- I guess I wanted to defy Henry at least once. And that’s still so cowardly that I did it anonymously. But I can see his reasons for wanting to leave now.” she said softly as she clicked on her small flashlight that she kept in her pocket, one that had a hand crank for when the battery needed recharging. 

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desperation ; kai & open

Kai had barely left the yard since the last supply run - only returning to the house when she had scheduled herself to eat or grab another ration of water. She spent most of her time since that day walking laps around the fence and practicing her shot on trees or whatever small animal seemed to make it’s way close enough to the house to give her more of a challenge. She had already tirelessly made herself enough of a back-stock of arrows from various branches she would stumble across on her rounds that she had enough to refill any entire quiver if she needed to. 

For the first time since she had joined up with the group, Kai felt helpless. They had lost two members in just the past few weeks. Zombies were cropping up more and more often around the farm and she could feel Henry’s restlessness about it even when she wasn’t around him. The safe, homey feeling that she got in the confines of the farm’s fence were beginning to slip and fade and Kai was starting to realize that she had been looking at things with a soft filter. Sure, she knew how harsh the world was - had held a woman’s head in her lap as she mercy killed her - but Kai had stupidly gotten comfortable.

Now the comfort was gone and she wasn’t ready to adapt to the stress and anxiety and unrest that came with living in a world where death waited around every corner. She was losing people around her, people she couldn’t afford to lose, and because of that she found herself unable to leave the yard - to stop making rounds in an attempt to keep everyone else as safe as she could possibly manage. 

At this point, she had been 36 hours without sleep. Her hips were killing her under the stress of how much walking she had done in the past day and a half, either constantly moving in circles around the perimeter of the house or getting into their usual stance she took when she was shooting, but still Kai wasn’t planning on stopping. This was all she could do right now. This was the best she could offer to the rest of them. At the break of dawn, she watched - only for a moment - as the early risers in the house made their way out for their daily duties and tasks. Her tired eyes, rimmed with exhausted circles dark enough that they looked like bruises, turned back to the tree line, and she wasn’t aware of the person walking up to her from behind (all of her attention was out there, where the only danger could come from) until they made their presence known.

[colton-langley-deactivated20160]

Monster || Colton & OPEN

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colton-langley:

Colton doesn’t seem to be the only night owl in the house. When he laid awake until the early hours of the morning he often times didn’t even leave his room. Richard never nagged him for popping their screen out and smoking in there, so he never found it important to get up and go downstairs for a cigarette. If someone else got up and left their room that he heard and he was wide awake enough, then Colton would go follow. He’s not the only one awake tonight.

Kai’s voice startles him from his thoughts, but it isn’t a jump type of scare. The butt of the cigarette hangs between his fingers out the window while he straightens his posture and looks over at her. There is a short chuckle that escapes his partially opened mouth. Colton shakes his head in the slightest and takes another quick draw of smoke in. “I didn’t think anyone else was awake- I would’ve gone out to the porch.” And he really would have. Being the only person who dealt with the habit he took it upon himself to keep it mostly outdoors. Except for when he was too lazy to leave his own room.

“It’s a bit past your bedtime, isn’t it, kiddo?” Colton asks her, eyebrow quirking at the thought. Obviously it’s just a tease about her age, nothing more than a joke. Everyone slept at whatever time they had wanted. She has her bow with her. He’s not the only paranoid one, he thinks. He’s just unarmed unlike most of them. Colton thinks that if he had a weapon at his disposal, something bigger and more useful than his butterfly knife, then he would be armed wherever he walked. Even inside of the farmhouse.

Colton turns around and rests against the countertop edge. The cigarette is left on the windowsill, burning away while his arms cross over his chest. “What are you doing up, anyway?”

In the months that she had known Colton, Kai had ended up spilling a lot of her own secrets to him. He was the only person that knew of how ashamed she felt - having secretly wanted a future quite like the one they were in up until the moment that it had actually happened. Kai had a habit of spilling every thought and feeling once she opened up, and because of this and also because of Colton’s stoic way of not opening up in return, Colton was the first and only to know the things that Kai was afraid to tell any of the others. 

Of course, even though he knew things about her that no one else alive did, it didn’t mean that they were close. To be close, things had to go both ways, and right now Kai knew that it was - in a way - a one way street. It wasn’t something that she regretted or longed for. In fact, she had accepted it. As long as he never avoided her, or broke the trust that she had instilled that he wouldn’t repeat the things she told him, Kai was content. 

A smile briefly flicked across her face, marred with a nervous sort of alertness that never seemed to leave her features as of late. “It’s not a school night.” She responded, sticking her tongue out at him even though the darkness of the kitchen would probably conceal the action. Her fingers of her right hand dug into the wood of her bow where she gripped it, picking at the rough, groves there left by her fingernails. It probably wasn’t a good idea to mar up any part of her bow if she could help it, but nervous habits were hard to break, especially those caused by anxiety and stress. 

“I was going out to do some rounds. Couldn’t sleep. I, uh -” she shut her eyes from a moment, taking a deep breath as she did her best to push nightmarish thoughts out of her head. She knew that Colton would understand. In fact, he would probably relate to the way she felt. He had been there when Delta had gone down. He had seen it and she could tell that it had affected him. “What about you? Midnight snack? Are you sleep-smoking now?” 

[colton-langley-deactivated20160]

Monster || Colton & OPEN

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colton-langley:

‘Show me.’

It’s all haze and lifeless when he dreams for the first time in weeks. In the situation, Colton knows he can’t leave. He wants to, his head screams at him too as he trembles. He thinks he can smell blood hot and heavy in the air, and the feeling of impending doom is really eating at his stomach. 

He sees Alex again, shaken and scared, with Jess right beside her. Henry stands between them, his pistol drawn. Colton draws in a shuddering breath when there’s the demand to show the wound, and it looks like such a pretty red contrasted against pale skin. His skin.

Colton’s fingers release the crumbled and stained denim of his jeans and stands straight up again, and his heart hammers inside of his chest. “Henry…” Colton hears someone say. At first he thinks it’s his own voice, but he’s not so sure when the gun raises to his eye-level and the triggered is pulled.

Colton jumps up with a startled gasp in his . He is greeted by dark shadows and stillness with the only light spilling into the room provided by the moonlight outside. The sheets are tangled around his legs like shackles that he fights when he tries to kick off. It was only a dream. Only a dream. A horrible nightmare that clenches around his heart and mind and shakes him senseless. His breaths are short and rushed, but Colton does his best to stifle them. Richard is sleeping in the same room as him, and the lack of privacy has him trying to hide his currently shaken disposition. He forces himself to his feet, jello-legged and hurriedly tip-toeing to the door of his room. His hand snatches the pack of cigarettes on the dust-covered dresser by the doorway before he takes his exit.

The house feels comfortably cool in late October, but in the aftershocks of the nightmare every shadow and creak has him flinch and jump. Colton exhales a shakey breath when he hits the bottom of the stairs and peers around the corner. There are no zulu, he knows that. He’s safe, but he knows that if he had been in the wrong spot like Alex on the run he wouldn’t be standing here. It’s a scary thought, and he didn’t think Alex’s death had rooted itself and started picking at his paranoia.

Colton coasts through the living room like a ghost, finds himself in the kitchen. Once one cigarette it taken out of the newly found box of Newports, he drops it on the countertop. Smoking in the house has been something he’s avoided, except for when his bedroom was empty, but he doesn’t want to go outside at this moment. He props open the window above the sink and lights his cigarette. One inhale that burns the inside of his chest calms his nerves down almost instantly. That breath is held until his head feels light before he lets it out through the window. The nightmare shook him up, but for now Colton tries to lull his mind into a state of ease. He can always go back to bed once he’s calm.

The restlessness had started the night that Golf had died. Sleep had always been easy for her since she first joined the group - nightmares barely ever showing themselves as she settled into sleep next to Charlie and Papa, who she shared the room with. Of course, there was the occasional night where her father’s face would plague her dreams but for the most part, she had been more than rested in the mornings. 

Then Golf had not only died, but died while out getting wood to repair the fence. It hadn’t even been a supply one, and definitely wasn’t considered a dangerous task since it was in the wood nearest to their base camp. That was when the nightmares began to pop up more often than usual, always startling Kai out of sleep with barely enough time to clamp down on the urge to scream. She hated the thought of losing people, people that actually seemed to give a damn about her, especially when people were hard to even come across these days anymore.

When Delta died and the rest of the group had come back, solemn and more exhausted than they looked in weeks, Kai had given up sleeping altogether. Her feeling of safety at the farm was beginning to crumble fast. She found her fingers itching to fold around the handle of her bow, her muscles aching to pull back the weighted string and let the protection of her own weapon shield her from any shadows that go bump in the night. 

She had waited until both Fallon and Jay’s breathing had slowed and deepened - it wasn’t by much but Kai had learned how to pick up on it after a few nights of staring at the ceiling and listening for any sound of a threat. Finally, she was able to slip out of the room, bow already slung over her shoulder and quiver attached to her leg with a quietness that could only come from habit and practice. Her plan was to make rounds around the house until she had no choice but to pass out from exhaustion but that plan cut short at the faint smell of smoke that hit her senses as she moved down the hall. 

It only took a moment to assess that this was cigarette smoke and not actually a smoke that would come from something catching on fire in the night. Someone else was awake as well. Still, her hand rested in the ends of her arrows in the quiver, fingers ready to pull one out if needed - something that she very nearly did as she rounded the corner into the kitchen and saw a figure standing there in the dark. 

“Shoot, Colt. I was beginning to think that a zombie had picked up a smoking habit.” she said as she stepped farther into the kitchen, voice low and tension leaving her shoulders though not by much.

[zedheadsstuff-blog]

[recurvekai-blog]

A series of knots || Kai & Open

[recurvekai-blog]

cam--parker:

Cam followed the movement of the knife with her eyes. To carve arrows out of twigs and for as long as she must have been, Kai required a decent level of skill with a knife. Cam’s curiosity spiked. She leaned forward and reached for the arrow held out for her. The smooth wood glided over her skin. She twirled it between her fingers and found it to be light and well balanced. Smirking, she sat up again and pulled the arrow closer for inspection.

“You’re not that bad at this,” she said with a nod, looking up to gauge Kai’s response. Albeit Cam knew next to nothing about arrows or archery as a whole, she had seen the things Kai could do. If the arrows worked thus far, they must be good. Cam tapped the point of the arrow with her forefinger and withdraw it when the prick proved as painful as it needed to be. She twirled the arrow once more, then held it out for Kai to take back. “Where did you learn to do that?” she asked.

She quickly regretted the question. In the group some things were worth asking and some subjects were meant to be avoided. After the latest horror in a string of shitty incidents, Cam toned down her inquisitiveness. But it was too late to take back the question, and she wanted to know the answer. Frowning to herself, Cam glanced up past the fence, at the hill over which James was buried.

A proud grin spread across Kai’s face at Cam’s words. Maybe she had been wrong to avoid the woman for so long. She wasn’t all brazen and sharp-tongued as Kai had first thought, her impression of her marred by the outbursts and yelling that she had as her only experiences with her. Granted, Kai also had a tendency to ignore everything the moment someone showed genuine interest in her and her skills. This caused her to put too many eggs in the basket of anyone who so much as smiled at her sometimes. Her fatal flaw. 

“I, uh- Kai reached out and took the arrow back from Cam, examining it herself for a moment. It wasn’t exactly straight, none of her handmade arrows ever were, but she had gotten used to the slight difference in their flight - the wobble that tended to throw it a bit to one side of the other depending on how positioned the curve of it to sit. “I kind of taught myself when I got down to one arrow and starting to risk my life because I kept telling myself ‘No, something worse will happen’ every time I went to line up a shot.”

Her expression soured for a moment. It had been a while since she had even dipped below half of her reserve on arrows, using her free time on the farm to either do patrols, practice her aim, or do as she was doing now and making arrows. On her bad nights, nights where sleep didn’t come nearly as easily or comfortably as it usually did in the company of these people, she could feel the hands gripping at her wrist - could see the gaping, rotting mouth attempting to clamp down on whatever flesh it could find first. She had chosen to not shoot her arrow that day, opting for the knife that she had only picked up a few days before in a burned out house, and come close to losing her life. It was only by pure luck that the zombie had stumbled into her blade and killed itself before it was able to reach her arm. Because of that, Kai was content to sacrifice skin on her fingers, causing nerve damage from the sheer amount of scar tissue there, in order to make sure she would never be in that situation again.

“How did you decide on using a bat? Did you play baseball?”

[recurvekai-blog]

It’s okay to hurt now; Kai Solo

Location: Various; New York/Georgia

Time & Date: Childhood & Before Joining the Group

People: Kai, Kai’s Father, Other Survivor

Warnings: death, violence, injuries, guilt, cancer, blood

Info: A collection of experiences from Kai’s childhood up until just before she joins the group, all having to deal with pain. 

Kai had only been four when her mother had died. Cancer was a hell of a thing her family members had said to her as she stared at the casket - which she had been told now carried the body of her mother, who would never wake up again. She hadn’t cried about it yet. In fact, she hadn’t really understand it at all. How could someone just... leave? How could someone just fall asleep forever and furthermore how could everyone they love pack them into a box and move on? The concept of death had been lost on her. Hours later, while her father mourned and her grandparents gathered everyone around to share memories of her mother, Kai continued to stare in the direction of the room that they had left her mother in. 

She had tugged on her father’s sleeve and he paused his words to look down at her. “I wanna go wake momma up.” she had said, eyes wide and innocent. Concerned. She grew increasingly distressed as her father knelt down to her level, as he shook his head with sad eyes - as he told her, directly, that her mother wasn’t waking up anymore. As Kai finally cried, her father pulling her into the safety of his arms, he kept repeating one phrase over and over again. 

“It’s okay to hurt now, things will get better.”

It had been entirely her fault - just a slight miscalculation of her own abilities as a 9 year old. One second she had been digging her feet into the loose sand of the sand box, pushing herself backwards on the tightly wound Spring Bouncer and then the next, the ground was giving beneath the pressure of the spring and sent her flying forward, face colliding with the metal handlebars of the object beneath her. 

It wasn’t the pain that had scared her, sent her flying wide-eyed and screaming to the nearest teacher. No, it was the rush of warm blood that seemed to spill down the front of her shirt from her nose like a waterfall. She couldn’t get it to stop. She just couldn’t fix herself and that was scary. She needed her father.

After a few failed attempts to distract Kai enough to calm her down (both a lollipop and several colorful stickers discarded on the floor in a fit), the nurse called her father’s work number. A number he had designated only for emergencies. When met with Kai’scries, her father tried his best to console her in any way he could over the phone. A promise of ice cream. A promise to stay up just a little later tonight if she let the nurse clean her face and fix her up. Nothing seemed to work. Slowly, her cries lessened as her dad’s voice droned on and the nurse was able to slowly clean the blood away from her nose and mouth. 

Before her father ended the call, Kai apologized. Even at nine and even in the aftermath of a breakdown (a minor panic attack at the sight of blood, her nurse had explained to her teacher), she knew that calling him while he was at work wasn’t a good move. It wasn’t as though he was going to yell at her - yelling was never something that he father was capable of - but his attention for her had begun to dwindle. Genuine attention about her and her activities seemed to come few and far between, and Kai was afraid to over step any line that would be seen as negative. 

As she apologized, her father sighed. 

“It’s okay to hurt now, things will get better.”

The bowstring swung back, snapping against her bare forearm and leaving a painful red mark. She hadn’t been able to grab her arm guard when she had bolted up at the sound of screams coming from just a few yards away. Without hesitation, she had gotten up and drawn her bow. Her first arrow went wide, missing it’s target by only a few inches. Kai readjusted her posture in a matter of seconds, taking a deep stilling breath and letting another arrow tear through the air. 

This one made it’s mark and Kai tried to not feel satisfied by the hollow yet loud crack as the zombie’s skull caved in from the force of the impact. She moved forward as the body fell, her hands still ready on her bow as she took in the person she had just saved. Fuck. She thought. Not saved. The fight that had kept the zombie at bay just long enough for Kai to kill it had drained from the woman’s arms. It was obvious at this point that she was bleeding out from a bite mark on her arm, where the zombie had sunk it’s teeth and claimed the soft flesh there as it’s meal. 

The look of terror in the woman’s eyes as she looked up at Kai was disarming, for a few moments at least. These were her last moments. These were the last few breaths this woman would take before either her brain shut down or the virus took over her consciousness. These moments still mattered. 

Kai placed her bow on the ground next to her as she knelt onto her knees and placed herself by the woman’s head. “Hi, I’m Kai.” she said softly, doing her best to keep her composure. Her mind went back to all the times in her childhood where she had been terrified and scared and how the only thing that calmed her down was someone’s hands in her hair and their soft voice distracting her from her problems. 

She pulled the woman’s head into her lap, cradling it there as she put on her best smile despite the tears growing in her eyes. “Everything is okay. You’re okay.” she said softly, hands smoothing across the woman’s forehead. This was wrong. This could have been avoided. Kai could have stopped this - could have gotten to her sooner. If only she had made her first shot. If only she had gotten to her feet quicker. No, If only she had talked her dad out of developing the virus in the first place. 

The woman groaned and whimpered as she tried her best to clap her own hand against the bite on her arm. The somber truth that she was nearing death still hadn’t seemed to become clear to her and Kai had to force herself to not look away - to not just get up and run and run and run until she couldn’t remember a single detail about the day that was unfolding. 

Against her own instincts. Kai stayed.

She stayed and calmed the woman down. 

She stayed and made she that her last moments wouldn’t be cold and lonely. 

She stayed until the woman’s eyes unfocused, looking through Kai and attaching to nothing in particular.

She stayed as she pulled the knife from between her hip and belt, her own sobs threatening to join the weak ones of the woman dying in her lap. 

She stayed as she positioned the blade just between the woman’s temple. 

She stayed until her blade disappeared into the still warm flesh and her last words hung in the air between her and the still body beneath her hands. 

“It’s okay to hurt now, things will get better.”

[recurvekai-blog]

A series of knots || Kai & Open

[recurvekai-blog]

cam--parker:

Cam spent about as much time with Kai as she spent sober – well, until recently at least. Even with her mind somewhat clouded over she understood avoidance when she saw it. Rightly so, too, given how hard she worked to avoid her fair share of people, past and present. Still, it wasn’t difficult to spot how unnerved Kai became whenever Cam entered a room. Having that kind of effect on someone might prove useful, but Cam grimaced at the thought of Kai recoiling whenever she saw Cam approaching.

“It was fine,” she answered monotonously. Not a great start. Resting her elbows on her knees, she leaned forward, hands clasped in front of her. “You know. One foot in front of the other.” She regarded Kai with tired eyes. Her gaze travelled from the thumb to the knife and the pile of sticks. 

She had to hand it to Kai, the girl knew her stuff. Not to mention, she wielded a bow and arrow, for Christ’s sake. That about summed up what Cam knew about her. “Is that hard?” she asked, pointing to the knife and wood. Few of the sticks appeared to be straight enough to form arrows, yet. “You’re making arrows, yes?”

While it had become almost a habit for Kai to try her best to avoid Cam and her temper, there was a part of her that was curious about the other woman. Henry had been close with her, at least until he had taken her off of combat. So that had to mean that maybe she wasn’t all bite or bark. The only problem was finding the courage to brave those things in order to get to the friendly parts. For Kai, that was easier said than done. She had grown up in a house where voices were never raised. She had seen characters on tv get angry and fly off the handle, but had never really experienced it herself firsthand. 

Kai couldn’t deny that even with all her reservations towards Cam, she held a certain level of respect for her. There were moments where Kai wished she could speak her mind in the way that Cam did most of the time. Instead of just blindly following behind people that she wanted so badly to only look at her positively. Her rebellious phase had already long since been kicked out of her - found to be not useful for what she wanted in life. To feel accepted. To feel validated. To belong. Every so often, Kai wondered if it would feel better to be truthful about what she thought and lose a few friends in the process. Even now, she didn’t have a clear answer. 

Kai stabbed the tip of her knife back into the step between her feet and reached over to pull one of her arrows from the quiver leaning against the railing next to her. She held it out towards Cam, the sharp tip cradled in her own palm. With a smile, a gesture of friendliness, she nodded. “I’ve been working on perfecting the technique for the past few months.” she explained, eager to impress. “I’ve gotten a few tips from Jess but most of it is trial and error at this point.”

[recurvekai-blog]

A series of knots || Kai & Open

[recurvekai-blog]

sgtblake:

“Just make sure to do it inside. The last thing we need is more fresh blood outside of the house.” It’s nice, having another person to easily joke with. His conversations with Jay have been all serious lately, and Jess gets his flirty side. Cam was the person he used to be able to joke around with, and now he can’t even look at her without annoyance filling his belly at their last talk. Cam made herself very clear, and Henry’s too stubborn to try to make amends. It leaves him in a strange place without anyone he can label just ‘friends’, which is probably for the best. He should fraternize among the ranks, and he needs to keep his head clear of emotions so that base camp can run smoothly and efficiently.

“No, not bad. It’s nice to feel in control of the situation. With every dead zulu, we’re protecting life.” Killing and death can be two entirely unrelated topics. Having someone die at base camp brings out entirely different feelings from killing monsters. Zulus aren’t people any more. They’re mindless eating machines that’ll stop at nothing for their next meal. Henry feels next to nothing when he takes out hostiles. He’s keeping the group safe from the stuff of nightmares. Kai should take pride in her progress. The ability to let an arrow fly without hesitation will keep her alive in the days to come.

Killing a zulu is nothing like killing an actual person, or seeing the life drain from someone’s eyes as you hold a dirty towel to their wounds. Henry’s lost good men to war, and now, his civilians are starting to understand what that feels like. No one was particularly close to James. He was very friendly, and most people liked him, but Henry didn’t see anyone close with him. James held a lot of guilt, a lot of self-hatred, and a lot of other nonsense that came with being a devout Catholic. His own demons stopped him from truly bonding with some people, like Henry. While he’s guilty and sad at James’s death - primarily because of his own inability to stop it - James wasn’t one of his squadmates or brothers. He was a civilian, all the way up until his death, too scared to make the right choice until it was too late.

“But it’s one of those zombie books you used to read.” Henry was never much of a reader. There were a couple of novels he picked up, after he enlisted. Most of them were about wars. World War I and II, the Korean War, and even Vietnam, but never World War Z. His casual reading was more for a sense of belonging, especially after he was sent back home with nothing but his thoughts. “Did you ever think the world would turn out like this, like all those movies and books, but different? But real.”

Kai tried to convince herself on his words. She wasn’t bad for enjoying the combat of killing zulus. She just wasn’t. Even now, months down the line with no news and dwindling hope of the life they used to have returning, Kai still held out that there would be a cure. Everything in her father’s note that she had read had been strongly against this - everything she read had said that this was terminal and irreversible if gotten correct. Zulu-IV had gotten it correct and then the world fell victim to the virus’s unforgiving grasp. 

“I should start writing. One day I’ll be the first novelist to have a zombie book based on true events.” She joked, thankful that the light from the candle wasn’t enough to show the lack of emotions in her eyes. 

Henry’s next words hit hard. This was her vice. This was the question she hoped no one would ever ask her. The truth was that, years before the outbreak had started and years before she found out the truth of her father’s work, Kai had wanted this. She sat around with her friends at lunch time, chattering endlessly about what their perfect survival plan would be. She had an entire life planned for when the world fell - equipped with homemade weapons made from chainsaws and rakes. Even when she had begun to read her father’s notes, the alarms that went off inside her head had been almost joyous instead of frightening. 

She had read through her father’s notes and the censored but still useful lab reports that he had brought home and she had been nearly ecstatic. She immediately knew the dangers upon reading them, even without the knowledge she had on nearly every zombie apocalypse starting with people meddling in things that they shouldn’t, Kai still feels like she should have asked her dad if he really thought that chemical warfare was something to put his mind towards. 

Most days, Kai could block out the thoughts that dropped entire boulders in her stomach. Most days, she could go to sleep without a heavy conscience. But when faced with the question that Henry posed to her, unable to avoid her faults, Kai felt sick. “I don’t -” was all she could say after a few moments of silence. Her hands had long since stilled on the arrows in progress, light dancing off the reflection of the knife.

[recurvekai-blog]

A series of knots || Kai & Open

[recurvekai-blog]

cam--parker:

After completing her short yet endlessly mind-numbing list of chores, Cam took to running laps around the house. The first time since before James’ death, her tired body protested in the beginning. She needed to clear her head, especially after the vote, so she ran until her body fell back into its natural rhythm, and then ran some more. To her relief, it worked. The vote, the increased presence of zulus, the attack, it all gave way; all that mattered was putting one foot ahead of the other.

She ran alongside Richard for a while at the start before letting him race ahead. Over-exerting herself too quickly risked ending her run prematurely. Until an ache began to form in her chest, gradually followed by the familiar feel of well-exhausted muscles, she ran at a steady pace. Cam slowed and came around to the front of the house again, and jogged up the porch steps and into the house. If she was quick enough in grabbing a clean shirt, she could squeeze a little more time out of Richard to stay outside.

Cam returned to the porch a short while later, somewhat refreshed, and paused in the doorway when she spotted Kai sitting on the steps. She considered jogging past her and heading out to sit somewhere else at first. Instead, though, she perched on the nearest bench just as she heard Kai whisper a curse. “Aren’t you supposed to know what you’re doing with those?” Cam muttered. She tilted her head to try for a better look at the tiny injury, but Kai pressed her thumb to her leg before she could.

Cam’s voice, low and muttered, set Kai on edge. Ever since she had witnessed the woman lose her temper the first time - witnessed her lashing out, Kai had done her best to keep her distance. She could tell that the woman noticed things that others didn’t really pick up on about people - small actions, at least - and Kai didn’t want to answer the question that nagged at her every time the two were in the same area. What else did she notice about people? What had she noticed about Kai?

“The, uh, the knife slipped.” Kai’s cheeks darkened in embarrassment and for the first time in a few weeks she was thankful for the cover of the darkening sky. Had Cam been telling a joke or was the comment pulled from somewhere less friendly? That was the problem, Kai couldn’t tell. She couldn’t get a read on the woman because she was desperate to stay out of sight around her. 

Finally Kai pressed her thumb to her lips, doing her best to clean the wound and help it stop bleeding. Her eyes darted over to Cam quickly and then back to her pile of wood. “How was your run?” 

[recurvekai-blog]

A series of knots || Kai & Open

[recurvekai-blog]

sgtblake:

“I’m sure Layne could schedule an OR for you today. You can be the woman with the smallest thumbs in the world.” Not that that’d be hard nowadays. Humanity’s numbers are just a fraction of what they once were, less than a year ago. It’s a sobering thought, and Henry wonders how many people are still out there. There’s no way to guess or know, so he doesn’t bother wasting his time, but a small voice in the back of his head wonders, from time to time. If they survived, that means that others did too. They had to be out there, somewhere.

“I don’t think that’d help with your shot, though.” Henry motion over to Kai’s bow with his head. He doesn’t know the exact science of shooting a bow, but he’s seen her do it so many time he can see how it works. Replicating that would be a whole different story, and Henry would probably wind up with an arrow splintered through the fleshy part of his hand near his thumb if he tried. He leaves the Robin Hood heroics to her, and sticks with his Beretta M9 and his trusty M4. They’ve yet to let him down so far.

“Super duper excited,” Henry deadpans, the corner of his mouth curling into a tiny smile to betray his blank face. Henry takes a seat in the rocking chair he was planning on sitting in. There’s enough room on the stoop for Henry to sit somewhere closer, but it’s too intimate a position for him, and he likes his personal space. He watches when she gets back to working on her arrows. It’s smart, having a weapon that has renewable ammunition. Once you shoot a bullet, there’s no getting it back. Not only can Kai retrieve her arrows if they haven’t splintered or shattered, she can make new weapons with from the materials around them. It’s smart and good for the long haul, and although Henry can’t do it himself, he appreciates the resolve and art that comes with fletching and bow work. Kai’s a valuable resource, and he doesn’t know if he tells her that enough.

“You’ve gotten better, in the field. More confident, less nervous. It shows.”

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that suggestion.” Kai said, wiggling a thumb in her direction. The mention of Layne brought up the thought of November - Nina was her name. Their newest recruit. Kai trusted people much easier than most. Especially now that her knowledge and her insight into the zeds (even though most of it came from educated guessing and filling in blanks from what she knew from stories) gave her more of an upper hand at being valuable at the very base of a person. Yet, she always tried to trust Henry’s judgement before her own. He had been hesitant about November at first and so she would be as well. After all, his teachings hadn’t failed her yet.

Usually, Kai would be excited to add another member to their ranks. She loved when the group got larger. There were more skills to pick through for help, more eyes on the yard, more hands to help fix or destroy things that needed - well - fixing and destroying. This time, though. This time had been a little bit different. Kai wasn’t superstitious in any way. She didn’t believe in bad luck or curses for certain, specific actions. It just felt as though the universe had required a trade-off. You can have the nurse, if you give up the man of faith. Her view, of course, on this was biased and she kept it stowed up inside her as best as she could.  Nina deserved to feel welcome even in the midst of everyone’s sorrow over James. Even in the midst of Kai’s own sorrow of losing one of her closer friends in the group. 

“Luckily, my thumb isn’t exactly important with my draw.” Kai said, thankful for the distraction from her thoughts of James. The wound was still too raw and new for her to tend to yet. She needed some times. 

“Can you really blame me? I’ve had a good teacher.” Kai did her best to hide the proud smile on her face at Henry’s compliment. In her first few months after the outbreak, of being alone on the road, Kai had thought that there hadn’t been room for improvement. She was as skilled as she could get on the bow aside from minor fluctuations in technique. Then she joined the group and started to pick up habits that added to her skill. How to walk quietly even on a bed of leaves and twigs. How to communicate with someone else without talking. 

“Is it bad to admit that it’s calming for me? Shooting zulus, I mean.” Her hands stilled on the wood in her hands, fingers moving across the notch she had been working on to check the smoothness of the cut. “Sometimes it doesn’t feel real. Like I’m just experiencing a vivid chapter of a book.” She moved her gaze to the yard again, scanning the darkness, trying her best to pick out any shadows that seemed to be moving unnaturally along the line of the fence. 

[zedheadsstuff-blog]

“A family can be the bane of one’s existence. A family can also be most of the meaning of one’s existence. I don’t know whether my family is bane or meaning, but they have surely gone away and left a large hole in my heart.” 

[recurvekai-blog]

A series of knots || Kai & Open

[recurvekai-blog]

sgtblake:

In the early hours of the morning, Henry will be headed out with a group for supplies. It’s routine, in a way, but every step outside of the farm house could be one of the last steps you take. It’s morbid and awful, but James died inside of the farm house fences, so it’s also one hundred percent true. He isn’t slated for a patrol tonight – he doesn’t want to get yelled at by Jay for stretching himself too thin – but Henry’s outside of the house, enjoying a solitary walk. Like always, he has his weapons on his person, his knife and M9, but there isn’t a single zulu in sight tonight. The fence is mended and their patrols are back to normal. Tragedy should be avoided again.

Henry doesn’t really get nervous before a big event or mission. He gets anxious and moody, on bad mental health days. He can be hyper-vigilant, and sometimes he’s downright paranoid. Worry, though isn’t something he feels too often, unless he’s thinking about Jay. Henry’s a person who goes out there and gets things done; he doesn’t sit around and wonder about the what-ifs. His action-orientated nature flourished under hard ass Sergeants and Ranger training, but now that he’s stuck at the farm house, Henry feels like he’s running in place some days. So he wanders around base camp, looking for little odd jobs that need to get done so that he can tire his body out long enough to sleep.

He does another loop around the house before he calls it a night. There’s a back entrance to the farm house that Henry finds unlocked, and he stops in the kitchen for a glass of water. It’s always room temperate, and he can’t remember the last time water was cold instead of luke warm. Half of the glass disappears fast, and he carries the rest out with him when he sees the living room empty. There’s a rocking chair with his name on it, for at least a couple of minutes, that’ll help lull him into a state calm enough to sleep.

“Everything alright?” Kai’s cussing has him turning his head as soon as he walks out of the front doorway. He sees her nursing her thumb and his brow furrows. Henry didn’t mean to startle her. His footsteps are usually loud against the wooden deck and he figured that she would have heard him coming. He sees all of the wood laying around her, and easily jumps to the conclusion that she’s working on arrows. Henry knows she lost a couple when they found Nina, so it makes sense that Kai’s working on replacing them while she has the time. The light has to be shit for that, and Henry disappears into the house for a moment to bring a candle back out, and set it right above her on the deck’s edge so that she can see better.

“Running low on ammunition?”

Kai turned up to look at him, placing her thumb between her teeth in an effort to staunch the pain. Henry. If there was anyone that she had grown attached to in her few months here at the farm, it had to be Henry. Like November, he had given her a chance to speak when she had popped up near them. Maybe it was due to having never been able to get in a word her entire life with her father, but there he had listened when she needed him to and that was grounds enough for Kai to fond a bond with the man.

Where others were soft, Henry always seemed strong. He had a head on his shoulders that wasn’t easily swayed by outside opinions unless given good cause. Above all else, he had the patience to teach Kai things that have no doubt saved her life multiple times since she began practicing them. He was, in a way, the father figure that her own father was never capable of being. 

Kai pulled her thumb from between her teeth, swallowing the metallic taste in her mouth from the blood and flashing him a smile. “All good, all good. I guess I just thought my thumb needed to be smaller.” Holding her hand in the light of the candle he had brought out, Kai got a good look at the wound. Luckily, it was only a surface cut - not nearly as horrible as it felt. “Thanks for the light. I didn’t even notice how dark it’d gotten.” 

It would be a few minutes before she’d be able to continue her work on the rest of the branches, her thumb still throbbing as it began to clot itself and close off. “Yeah.” she said, gesturing to the ones that were already cut and ready to be notched and fitted with feathers and tipped with whatever sharp scraps of metal or rock she could find in the supplies they had in the house. “It’d be great to stumble across an Archer’s Depot or something. Cabela’s Hunting store would also be nice.” She let out a soft laugh at the thought. The nearly hunting store that wasn’t already ransacked and looted was in the city, as far as she knew, and that was a suicide mission. “Can’t sleep? Or just too excited to go risk your life tomorrow?”