Madoka Magica Ship Analysis - KyouMami
Based on these two polls [X] [X], I will write an analysis that'll also include how I feel about the ship (similarly to my Digimon shipping game analysis posts).
Other ship analysis posts: [HomuMado] [KyouSaya] [HomuSaya] [HomuMami] [KyouMado] [KyouHomu] [MadoMami] [MadoSaya]
Disclaimer: I won't claim this to be a conclusive/definitive analysis of all of the ship's aspects. I have watched the original 12-episode-series and movies (including Rebellion), the Magia Record anime and I've read several manga series (the Original, The Different Story, Wraith Arc, Rebellion Story, Oriko Magica, Another Story, Mitakihara Anti-Materials). But I'm aware that I haven't seen/read all of what's out there and am also not thoroughly familiar with the games. Plus, oftentimes, ship dynamics vary depending on which series/timeline you are looking at. So this is going to be my personal take on it.
Whether canon provides input on them or not.
I've been putting my analysis for this particular relationship off for a long, long time. Not because I didn't want to take a closer look at it - but because I felt incredibly intimidated. I had fallen for this ship many, many years ago around Christmas time - so now seemed to be the perfect time to finally tackle this post and overcoming my fear of not doing them justice.
Back in the day, when I was only familiar with the 12 episodes and the movies, I had stumbled across fanart depicting Mami Tomoe and Kyouko Sakura to be quite close - and that had gotten me confused. Neither the anime nor the movies had given me the impression that these two had much to do with one another; in the anime timeline, Kyouko only enters the story after Mami's death and in Rebellion story, Kyouko is mostly seen interacting with Sayaka (and partly Homura) instead. As someone who had been in fandom spaces the majority of my life, I was obviously familiar with crackships, what-if-ships, the inherent magic of people shedding light on character dynamics that hadn't gotten time to shine in canon, exploring their inherent potential.
With that background knowledge in mind, I got curious and started investigating - until I had found "The Different Story". And it's no exaggeration when I say that this piece of work hasn't just turned out to be one of my favourite sidestories in the entirety of the franchise as a whole - it had also changed my perception and appreciation forever. For Mami Tomoe, for Kyouko Sakura - and the ship KyouMami, which easily became one of my favourite wlw relationships of all time.
So what is the appeal, what does The Different Story tell us about these characters and their bond - and how does it contextualize their relationship in regards to every other work? Let's break this down:
The first volume of The Different Story shows us how Mami and Kyouko met prior to the events of the anime/main timeline/before Homura enters the scene. It starts off showing Mami working on her own as a Magical Girl and having a hard time doing so, without any companions by her side - until Kyouko, who had been chasing a witch all the way from Kazamino to Mitakihara, joins her in a battle. They immediately bounce off of each other nicely and, even if Kyouko appears to be less experienced than Mami, there seems to be an undeniable "spark", a sense of mutual compatibility between the two of them. Mami feels so enchanted by Kyouko that she invites her over for cake - and Kyouko, who loves herself some sweets and food in general, is smitten on the spot and ends up asking if she could become Mami's disciple.
At this point in time, everything about their newly found partnership arrangement appears to be perfect: Mami, formerly ridden by loneliness, found herself someone to care for and teach, someone to have by her side, someone who doesn't just look up to her, but who shares her values and philosophy in fighting for justice and to save humanity; Kyouko on the other hand found someone to guide her along, to help her become stronger on her self-proclaimed mission to work alongside her father - a priest - to provide happiness for everyone, every believer, every human, and also herself. There is a strong sense of "found family" the reader gets from this set-up - since Mami, who is now an orphan, gets invited to meet Kyouko's family ("the first friend she ever invited over"), witnessing the peaceful atmosphere herself.
The theme of "family" is definitely one we will come back to later. But for now, the partnership between Senpai and Kouhai seems to thrive, as they encourage and support each other as much as they can - so far as to having their Soul Gems react with a literal spark upon their hands touching each other. It feels... Almost too good to last.
Unfortunately, as it is often the case in Madoka Magica, the peace isn't meant to last - and its disruption is, once again, linked to the nature of the wishes made by its protagonists. Mami, who wished for survival, had to experience what it meant to make a presumably "selfish" wish first hand - whereas Kyouko made a wish for the sake of someone else, not considering their view or her own ulterior motives in the process.
And thus, Kyouko's wish ends up backfiring: As her father realizes that his followers only started listening due to Kyouko's wish, he completely despairs, verbally tormenting her, calling her - ironically enough - a witch who laid a curse upon their entire family with her illusion magic... Culminating in him snapping and killing not only himself, but his wife and youngest daughter in the process. All in front of Kyouko's helpless eyes.
From this point on, things go downhill; Kyouko, after Mami had warned her about the consequences of her wish, doesn't have the heart to confide in Mami over what happened and it, quite literally, eats her up inside. Incapable of continuing to use her illusion magic - which had been born out of her cursed wish -, haunted by the words of her father and her sense of guilt, she starts to pull back, stops to meet up with Mami; begins to doubt her and Mami's idealism that initially drew them towards each other and grows bitter, feeling as if the Senpai she used to admire is looking down on her now - or at least she tells herself that. Convinces herself that humanity is not worth saving after all, that she is better off fighting just for her own gains than for the sake of others, preventing herself from getting hurt again in the end.
Thus, she decides to part ways with Mami, spouting hurtful words at her in order to make Mami "despise" her - once again, convincing herself that it's the easy way out. Mami, on the other hand, had already been spiraling, relieved to see Kyouko having survived, but unable to reach through to her; disappointed in her hope that Kyouko would not "turn out as selfishly" as the other Magical Girls who had refused to team up with her and leave Witches' Familiars be in order not to run out of Grief Seeds...
And so, Mami is being left behind again. The sense of familiarity between them had been shattered into a million pieces during an ugly break-up scene, miscommunication and pride keep them from reconciling and leave both of them fighting on by themselves with (supposedly) opposing value systems... Even though they're both equally ashamed of their failures and faults. As Mami continues to try and focus on her new Kouhai(s), Sayaka and/or Madoka, Kyouko tends to approach her with mockery - and it might not be too far-fetched to think of them as "the bitter(sweet) exes trope".
Which is a dynamic that continues to seep through their portrayals in so many following works: It's when there is this slightly hostile yet mutually protective bickering in Okiro Magica as "seemingly distant acquaintances" while Yuma appears to be their child suffering from the divorce; it's when they're shown to constantly consult each other in Another Story like old souls that have known each other forever, but always having one of them keeping the other at arm's lengths or acting on their own, suffering from these moments of miscommunication while they secretly AND openly worry about the other's wellbeing. There's also the entirety of their set-up in Wraith Arc, as Mami initially sidelines herself to watch Kyouko bounce off of Sayaka the entire time, literally telling Kyouko to "leave Miki-san in your care" (thus pulling back entirely for KyouSaya's sake). Then, after Sayaka's death, both Kyouko and Mami are moving closer together again while maintaining a certain sense of emotional distance, worrying and watching over Homura again, like divorced parents watching over their child without being truly able to build a bridge towards each other.
At the end of The Different Story, after Sayaka turned into a Witch, once they face each other in battle one last time, there is an attempt of finally coming clean; upon covering up the mutual worry with bickering, scolding, mind games and deception, playing off of their knowledge of each other's strengths and weaknesses, Mami gets to her own breaking point. Drowning in her own resentment towards her own selfishness, all of her regrets, ready to turn into a Witch as well. Pushing Kyouko to leave her be and try and save Sayaka instead.
But Kyouko refuses to let her go. There are too many nuances, too many layered, detailed pages, panels, words to display the depth of their dynamic - but Kyouko is just as ridden by regret herself. And even if the spell of miscommunication between them is never fully broken, it's here, at this point, that Kyouko refuses to lose Mami as well, "the only family I have left". Letting her facade of toughness and ignorance break for a moment of sincerity, she confesses how much strength and hope Mami had always given her - and to underline their still existing connection, she entrusts her hairband to Mami's for safekeeping before they promise to meet again once she returns from rescuing Sayaka.
Neither of them comes out alive in this timeline. They don't see each other again, since Kyouko dies in her rescue attempt due to leaving her last Grief Seed to save Mami - and Mami ends up dying when Madoka wishes to soothe her pain and replace her as a Magical Girl.
Only in the afterlife, it is implied that they can finally reunite in a semi-happy-end. Both in The Different Story and the main timeline, they are finally seen enjoying cake together fondly in Mami's flat - just like they did the first day they met. Domestic bliss at last, so it seems. Even though they may never be able to drop the teasing and deflecting completely; even if the messiness of their departure might always have a lingering effect on their interactions; even if Mami may be inclined to push Kyouko towards others (mainly Sayaka) for not feeling deserving of Kyouko's affection or capable of being enough for her, despite craving her company more than anything else; even if Kyouko has a hard time not getting into Tsundere-mode towards Mami, admitting her true feelings and how much of an impact she actually had on her personality, her way of thinking, how much she had meant to her all along...
There will always be a connection between them. The initial spark, the sense of familiarity, of an actual found family - whether as a sister or even more than that -, will always play a part.
Whether I think why and how they’d work.
As much as I am usually not a fan of the miscommunication trope, it is absolutely and 100% vital in understanding Kyouko and Mami's bond - and overcoming it might be the biggest challenge, yet, at the same time, the greatest reward and catharsis I can imagine.
Both of them hide their inferiority complexes in their own way: Kyouko does it by acting tough, bitter, using hurtful words, claiming to only act for her own sake, while covering up how much she regrets her choices. Regrets having made her wish without taking her father's wishes into consideration, regrets being unable to be honest to Mami for the longest time, despite, obviously, feeling such a strong kinship towards her. Admitting her faults would be like admitting her weakness, confirming that she could never be equal to Mami, whom she used to put on a pedestal, but started to look through her own heroic facade - and decided to push her away, possibly not even aware of how much of a coping mechanism that behaviour had been.
And Mami isn't any better - playing the perfect, responsible, flawless Senpai, thus getting idealized and swallowing up all her insecurities, flaws, undesirable sides... She is meant to fail, prone to fall off her self-imposed, impossibly high self-standards. Either because others can't keep up with her or aren't willing to be as self-sacrificial as she is for their own reasons. Which both applies to Kyouko (and Sayaka as well) one way or another. Thus, Mami's perfect mask will always doom her to end up lonely, burnt-out, having nothing but contempt for herself.
In the end, they both have to live with their regrets (and glimpses of self-hatred). And despite the fact that they are both capable of looking through each other's "bullshit" - they were both too dense to recognize how strong their feelings for each other had been all along. Kyouko confused Mami's worry with disdain and paternalism - whereas Mami confused Kyouko's hesitation to be honest about her feelings with a lack of interest whatsoever.
The obvious solution to end this state would be to actually make them talk honestly for once - similarly to the end of The Different Story but with a little less life-threatening stakes. General behavioural/communication or couple's therapy may involve a lot of mutual blaming and accusations at first; but it's important for them to get everything out of their system properly. After all, it is pretty likely that there is a lot of resentment, a feeling as if they had been using each other to feel better about themselves. But once they got to the root of it all, they might realize that they only ever got into this situation because they couldn't let themselves be true to themselves, admitting their flaws to one another. And thus, they weren't able to be their best selves or adapt to each other. Upon their first meeting, it all worked well because they were in their honeymoon phase, on the same page, 100% complementary, mutually excited; there was no reason for Kyouko to doubt that their path was the right path - but they weren't emotionally ready to get through disagreements and set-backs together at this point.
Overall, I would assume that once Mami realizes how much Kyouko loved her all along, despite everything, despite her "bullshit", that she will be able to let herself go more in front of her; and once Kyouko realizes that she is allowed to let herself go and be cared for without having her ego bruised... It can work out. Through the timelines, we see that the mutual caring and worrying never truly stopped - but that they probably both felt like they didn't deserve each other after their fall-out or that they might fall into toxic habits once a new conflict arises.
It may take time, but they have what it takes to be "exes that tried a second time"; Mami loves to cook and bake, Kyouko loves to eat; they gave each other a sense of family that they both lost; Mami is a gentle, responsible mom, who doesn't shy away from scolding their children mostly Yuma and Nagisa, but the others count too, whereas Kyouko is a fun (if not a little reckless) dad, who also knows when to call their children out; they're both protective at their deepest core, balance out each other's weaknesses and both WANT to believe in the good in people, even if their experiences may have hardened their sense of expression in different ways.
(On a more raunchy note, their teasing and bickering on the battlefield have some interesting implications towards Senpai/Kouhai kinks in the bedroom - especially considering how much Mami seems to like using her ribbons to bind and expose Kyouko, ahem... There could be a lot of fun powerplay between them. On the flipside, I also see them both acting out their longing and yearning pretty strongly - since it had taken them so long to reconcile, their first-again-time might end up pretty desperate and intense.)
Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.
As mentioned at the beginning of this post, they are one of my favourite wlw ships in all of fiction - even if they may probably never be as thoroughly represented as HomuMado and KyouSaya in official art (or media in general), I still regard it highly that they got their own spin-off series dedicated to their backstory. I always get the "divorced couple that had too many 'almost there's' in their lives" vibes from them whenever I take a look at any type of Madoka media these days and long for a portrayal that makes them look... Peaceful again.
As implied above, you can also read their bond as entirely sisterly - or see them as a stepping stone for KyouSaya to work out in the end (since Kyouko grew as a person through her interactions with Mami and, after getting through 100 layers of trauma, was capable of making it work with Sayaka instead. Which would absolutely explain why there are several instances in the series that seem like Mami is perceiving them as such).
However, even if I can see every PMMM ship as platonic, I will always adore these two romantically as one of my favourite ships in the franchise.
