If Stan had come to Jade of the Orient
“Stan, clearly something is wrong, stop that bath running and tell me about it”
Patricia comes along - she begged to
Stan was worried about her coming to Derry, but she wanted to be there for him, so she packed her bags, anyway
When they get there, there’s a second pf awkwardness - Stan’s not exactly a social butterfly and it has been decades since he saw them
Lucky for him, Patty is a people-person and introduces herself
“Woah, Stan, you married a hugger? Opposites do attract!” “Yeah, they do - so you must be married to Victoria’s Secret model, right, Richie?”
And just like that - as if a switch got turned on in his mind - he felt like no time has passed
Why had he felt so awkward? He knews these guys! The Losers! Richie, Ben, Beverly, Mike, Eddie and Bill-
His face went red as he remembered his first kiss - Oh, shit, did Bill remember to? How embarrassing
Patty knew he was bisexual, but he wasn’t sure she’d love to know she was sitting next to someone he had once or many times kissed as a teenager
He was relieved to find that his feelings for Bill didn’t reignite (though he did check him out once) and he was still madly in love with Patty
Ben asked Stan about work and vice versa
“I’ve actually been looking for an accountant, would you be interested?” “Really? You’ve only known I was an accountant for five minutes!” “But I’ve known you for 30 years - come work with me!” “I’ll have to talk with Patty first on such a big decision, but I think I will!”
Everyone cheers their drinks to Stan’s new job
“So, Stan, Patty, any rugrats?” asks Richie. “I can’t wait to see Stan the Man Jr. with his toy calculator”
Patty holds Stan’s hand. “Actually, we can’t have children and, well, adoption and surrogacy is so expensive”
No one really knew Richie was gay (for sure) except Stan who had accidentally found a picture of Eddie under Richie’s pillow when they were 13 (fully-clothed, get your mind out the gutter) but he never told anyone, not even Richie, because he thought he’d come out when he was ready
But when they meet up again after TWENTY-FUCKING-SEVEN years, Stan quickly realises that Richie never came out and he feels guilty for not trying to talk to him about it as kids
“Patty, he’s lived his entire life alone, lying to everyone he knows, and I could have helped, but I was a stupid kid!” he says to his wife later that night
Eddie says he’s married, but Stan notices how he seems geared towards Richie and thinks maybe he should have tried talking to him, too
Maybe I’m imagining it, Eddie’s not— “Let’s take our shirts off and kiss!” Nope, definitely gay
When Bev avoids questions about Tom, Patty subtly points out the belt marks on her arm
Afterwards, he pulls Beverly to the side
“I know this is weird and probably not-my-place because it’s been 27 years, but it feels like I just saw you yesterday, Beverly, so if this Tom guy ever...” his voice trails as he gestures to her arm. “You can always stay with us, okay? I know you probably live in a mansion now so my house will probably seem like shit, but it’s there if you-”
Beverly hugs him. “I missed you, Stan”
“I’ve got to thank you, Mike.” “What for?” “You stayed so we didn’t have to. Don’t think I didn’t notice or appreciate it because I do. Patty is amazing. I love her more than anything in the world. You know how neurotic I am, right? Not only does she ‘put up with’ it, she likes it about me and she gets me to have fun. But I only got the chance to meet her because you stayed. You gave me the chance, Mike. Thank you”