2013 Late Round Up Post: A Year of Change and Challenges; of Gains and Losses; of Suprises and a Whole Lot More
It’s been almost two months now since the beginning of 2014. I’m so excited what God has in store for me this year but I I just couldn’t afford not to recollect the highlights last 2013 because they have given me fresh , new and added realizations in my daily walk.
A year of CHANGE and CHALLENGE: Well, I’ve been jobless since last quarter of 2012 and I thought I could finally get a job as 2013 arrives. But I was wrong. Still no job, no permanent or regular income so to speak. It was a big change for me since I was having the longest time of no work. Thus gave me a BIG challenge: the challenge to budget the income I was getting from my loading and direct selling business especially whenever I volunteer. It was a big adjustment for me; from earning enough income to super tight budget, that I had no one to run to except for my super rich Dad in heaven. Wow! I just couldn’t imagine how Daddy God answered ALL my prayers especially His provision over my needs. I would never forget those moments when I was praying while holding my coin purse and say “Daddy God, I’m running out of budget, see? I need money. Please give me money.” Then, voila! He was constantly using people, yes random people who would just hand me something OR gave me extra work opportunities so I could have a budget. I thank God for my family who are understanding enough not to ask for contributions for our monthly expenses (well, I’ll have to pay them back once I have my job).
CHANGE: It has taught me not to compare myself to someone else’s life. Otherwise it would just make my life appear miserable when actually it is not. Even if it sounds so tempting that people around me got better work, company, house and lot, cars, marriage; well, I realized that it is just part of the whole story. No life is perfect. If it is, no one will ever remember God. Always look for the positive side of life, for all the blessings that God is giving me even though I didn’t ask. Being grateful for the things I don’t need to buy like the air we breathe and the life we live. Everyone has all the means and reasons to be thankful for. We don’t need to dwell on what we do not have. Being rich and happy is not about the abundance of things in life but how grateful and content we are on what has been given to us. Regardless of my status in life, whether with work or none, I am highly and immeasurably favored by God!
GAINS and LOSSES: When I was still very young, I’m not fond of having big circle of friends. Since elementary, I usually have around 3 to 5 closest buddies. For me, what is important is that I have close friends and that they would stay in my life forever. But then I was wrong. I was so naive that whether you believe it or not, it was just last year that I had a clear grasp of what relationships are all about; if not entirely, at least, the most. As I went through series of challenges last year, it gave me a glimpse of my lowest point of life for the second time. I felt helpless, alone, out of place, broke. I thought I have lost a lot, including relationships. You know what, despite these challenges, I still thank God for making me realize one thing: you will know who your real friends are when you hit the bottom. And I can say it’s true. For me, relationship is not about how long you’ve known a person the longest, how long have you been together; rather, relationships are well founded when it started during the hardest times, during your lowest point in life, during those times when you have nothing in your pocket but just your plain self; relationships that don’t care whether they can get something from you or none, all they want is to let you know they are here for you no matter what; relationships that do not really mean quantity (how long and how many) but the quality of relationship you have, even you just met them. Hence, I think, I just lost some, sadly. But good thing, I’ve gained much. I thank God for using other people whom I consider true friends for not leaving me or not letting me feel of being ignored. I have learned the fact that I have to let go of the people who are not really intended to stay in my life forever while I keep those who just wanted to stay. I have learned that in life, nothing is permanent, including relationships. Maybe their role in my life has ended that I have to move on. And so, I have learned to get rid of my pride and unforgiving attitude tendencies.
SURPRISES: I just love surprises! And most of the time, it happened every time I engage myself in volunteering in True Love Waits. Since I started to be a part of this organization, I have met a lot of godly people who share the same passion as I do. The bonus part was that these people are indeed God’s instruments for me to have those surprises. And yes, help comes from unexpected people, really! Hence I also learned that I should expect less from people and extend high appreciation instead. Further, as the year ended, I had simple yet memorable surprises that made me feel so special <3
AND A WHOLE LOT MORE: Death. Natural calamities. Disaster. These have been my constant reminder that life is short, death is inevitable, and nothing is permanent in this world. The idea of death actually doesn’t threaten me, it motivates me. It motivates me to live my life to the fullest while I am still here on earth, that when I have to face my Creator, my Lover, my God, He would say “Well done! Good and faithful servant!” On the other hand, somehow, natural calamities and disasters give me the idea of helplessness, that only God can rescue me. The aftermath, however give me the idea that earthly treasures and possessions can disappear in a snap; yes, in a snap and we cannot go away with it. Imagine investing on properties and material things over the years then suddenly it’s gone. Thus made me learn to invest on what pays eternal dividends instead of earthly wealth; that whenever I spend my time, treasure, and talent, it should be for the sole purpose of building His Kingdom. Hey, I am not saying not to work and earn and save up for the future. But the mere fact of investing the latter while neglecting the former is really something to think about and acted upon.
It has been my desire to be a part of groups of volunteers but it was strengthened all the more with these realizations in life. We only live once (very different concept to that of YOLO); thus we have to live a life with a purpose, to live a life that is for the Lord, and to understand that what is only done for the Lord will last. Let me clear things that volunteering is never a means to have eternal life but rather the end to it. I volunteer not because I want to inherit eternal life, only God’s redeeming power and grace can do that; I volunteer because of my love for God, love for people at the same time, because it is His plan for the redeemed to do good works.
I thank God, despite my challenges and losses, He still make things new and beautiful. I thank God for the opportunity to serve Him in ways more than I could ever imagine. I thank God that He let me be a part of True Love Waits (while writing this, I also had an amazing experience with Lovestruck Ministries 2014; so this goes to them as well, plus those people I joined with during Virlanie Foundation Outreach, and my church), making me realize a lot of things. First, it is amazing to work for the Lord especially when you are working with people who share the same passion, beliefs, and advocacy with you; people who think others first before themselves; people who sacrifice their work for a day, money, time, effort without EXPECTING MONETARY in return; people, regardless of their status in life are equal once we work for the Lord; people who find joy in pursing the King and working for His kingdom; people who are flawed, imperfect, and once broken, but Christ made them whole and that their heart for the ministry is perfectly fit for the work because of God’s grace. I just couldn’t contain it, but the mere fact that everybody gets tired and weary at times but still happen to crack a joke or two, to smile even when the going gets tough, it made me realize that these people are really driven by love and passion for God and people. Priceless indeed, undeniably God’s awesome power. I thank God for my church who has taught me to have a heart of a servant, that we do things for God even though we don’t get any reward. Just simply creating a piece of heaven on earth. Actually, for me, God is already our reward as well as the joy of serving Him and other people. I also realized that it pays a lot when you are DIRECTLY involved in a cause. I’m not devaluing other means but as to my experience, nothing beats the fulfillment and joy that I have every time I get myself involve to this kind of ministry.
It was also the point in my life that I really enjoy and appreciate my life of single-hood and fully comprehend that being single is the best season to focus on God and His Kingdom. I thank God for using True Love Waits to help me grasp the real essence of being single: that it is never a curse or a disease but rather a time to develop oneself as God’s daughter and servant, as well as a preparation for marriage (if God’s will); that it doesn’t matter whether I’m single or in a relationship. What is essential is that I am complete in Jesus and with Christ, it is more than enough.
Lastly, I’ve been to a lot of struggles, had a lot of questions in mind in quest for an answer. But then, God impressed to me that I don’t need to understand every circumstance in my life. I used to be the person who thinks logically, that everything should have a reason, a known reason, even an explanation. But God defied it. All I need is to trust Him fully, to trust Him with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding and in all my ways, to acknowledge Him, and not to take any credit that is due to Him. He deserves all the praise and thanksgiving, my time, treasure, and talent. Now, as 2014 starts to unfold, I still yet to discover more of God and I am so excited of all the things He has in store for me. I am His daughter, I am highly and immeasurably favored, in Christ I am loved. To God be the glory great things He has done!
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