nightmare dressed like a daydream

Lily Catherine Evans. 19. Muggleborn. Former Gryffindor and Hit Witch in training. Professional prat whisperer.

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

“ Even the best people fall down the stairs sometimes. ”

[darkshadowss07-deactivated20160]

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

when you hold me in the street / and you kiss me on the dance floor / i wish that it could be like that / why can't it be like that? / ‘cause I'm yours / why can't I say that I'm in love? / i wanna shout it from the rooftops / i wish that it could be like that/ why can't we be like that? / 'cause I'm yours

[emmcline-archived-blog]

     ❝I don’t know, Lily. Maybe if you chose a few        popular songs that I could recognize, it would        be more of a fair fight.❞

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

“ They are popular in the Muggle world, sweetie. As long as you can get the beat, I don’t see the problem. ”

[forgedofirxn]

❝ A week without spearmint is not a week I want to live, honestly. Or bubblegum, I’m not picky. But definitely. No one thought to look twice at us, the good ol’ days.❞

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

“ Definitely not, I’m with you there. I’m a spearmint kind of person, I have to admit. We were decievingly innocent back then. ”

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

“ And, let me guess, Sirius, your VCR isn’t half as interesting as me. What’s so important that you can’t leave a message? ”

[blackissirius-deactivated201605]

“I may have overheard a word I’m not particularly found of and lost my temper.. threw the first thing I could find across the bar.”

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

“ That’s... not good, but I can’t pretend I would’ve done anything different. ”

[fractusrisum-blog]

“Kiss me.” (heheh)

Hesitation struck like a ton of bricks, a temporary paralysis keeping him from acting on that beautiful impulse –

“I thought you didn’t want this to be complicated” 

[blackissirius-deactivated201605]

Sirius had been looking for James, partially because he wanted to spend time with him, he was his best friend after all, but mostly because deep down Sirius knew his friend was hurting and more than likely about to do something he would regret. Translation, he wanted to track James down before he did something stupid.

But the universe seemed to be against him, or from the looks of it alcohol seemed to be the culprit. He found the pair just in time to spot their kiss, yet for a moment he just stood there. He wanted it to mean something so much, the two had been once been the couple who had given him hope true love really did exist. But he knew that wasn’t the case, so he stepped towards them.

“It will be hard, tomorrow when you wake up lonely and hung over. What were you thinking?”

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

Was the universe actually kidding? Why did it choose now, of all moments, to unleash Sirius Black onto them? If Lily would have had more chance to think about it, she couldn’t remember when Sirius had even arrived, so it wouldn’t make sense as to why he felt the need to interrupt right at that second.

She pulled away from James’ lips, but remained where she was otherwise, glancing round at Sirius in annoyance.

“ But tomorrow isn’t right now, is it? I am neither lonely or hungover, I think you’ll find. I am with company and pleasantly drunk. ”

In her defence, Lily hadn’t been thinking --- she didn’t really spend much time racking her brain about consequences in situations like these. That often just led to nothing happening the way she wanted it.

[emmcline-archived-blog]

@redhaired–nightmare

❝Jesus Chris. Not another dance off.❞

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

“ You love our dance offs, Emmeline. Just because you can’t win against me, shouldn’t mean you should back out. ”

[canislupins-deactivated20160415]

               “ I think you just addressed the core of the problem. Whatever we can do, they can do as well. And they use it for bad purposes and we run after that and try to fix their mistakes, with the hopes of defeating them one day. ”                   And interestingly, the muggles seemed to have the same problem. Remus took Muggle Studies, since he had a muggle mother he wanted to understand more of their world, and realized their wars were much like ours. Differences in belief systems that clashed completely. And one side has guns, but the other side has guns as well. It seemed like a never ending conflict, just like their war was.                 “ Fair point. We don’t have time to feel anything. ”

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

“ Fixing their mistakes might be stretching it a bit. It’s more like we’re trying to stop future mistakes. ” 

Was mistake even the right word? You-Know-Who’s supporters weren’t making mistakes, they were killing for the fun of it. Or because of people’s blood status, or who they supported. None of those things were mistakes on their part.

“ No, we don’t. That doesn’t really help us in our personal life, does it? ”

[fractusrisum-blog]

“Kiss me.” (heheh)

Hesitation struck like a ton of bricks, a temporary paralysis keeping him from acting on that beautiful impulse –

“I thought you didn’t want this to be complicated” 

[fractusrisum-blog]

James steadied his breathing, gaze locked on Lily, his expression unwavering as he attempted to collect himself. Swallowing hard, he tried to keep his emotions in check, the alcohol bringing everything to the surface. But it was beautiful perfect Lily Evans, and she was asking him to kiss her, and for some godforsaken reason, he couldn’t get himself to do it. 

But then her hand was on his cheek, and he instinctively put his hands on her waist to steady her, not able to resist those eyes, “I said i’d always be there for you” he said softly, almost comforting, “And if all you want from me is a kiss, then i’ll take what I can get” 

His mind screamed not to do it, but he’d learned ages ago to ignore that voice in his head, relying on impulse instead. So he leaned down just enough for their lips to meet in a bittersweet kiss, tasting the alcohol on her lips and sighing into it as he felt the familiarity that it brought. 

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

There was a slight change in his demeanour, and with that, Lily knew she’d won. While it may be true that they weren’t together, she still knew what James’ body language meant. Pulling her lips to the side in a half smile, she slid her hands down to the back of his neck before opening her mouth to speak. She never got that far, though, because James had --- finally --- leant forward to kiss her. It was at this point that Lily realised she should regret this, she should really, really regret this. But, as she let her eyes flutter closed, she figured that the time for regretting it was passed. There would be time later for that, most likely when she was more sober. “ See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? ”

[fractusrisum-blog]

“Kiss me.” (heheh)

Hesitation struck like a ton of bricks, a temporary paralysis keeping him from acting on that beautiful impulse –

“I thought you didn’t want this to be complicated” 

[fractusrisum-blog]

Stopping for a moment, James let his eyes slip shut in an attempt to memorize just how Lily’s hand felt as it slid over his skin and threaded through his dark hair. That action alone made him wonder why’d he never paid this close attention before. 

“How could I forget? I was afraid you’d hex me if I kissed you without asking” he let that smile slip up on his features, watching the way her lips moved as she explained, both of them slow on the uptake because of the alcohol. Still, he took that opportunity to glide soft lips over Lily’s neck once more, hovering over her pulse point to feel the steady rhythm pulse so much faster than usual.

Pulling away to face her this time, James’s expression fell when he created distance between them, “I can’t” he said both as an answer to her and also a concrete reminder to himself, “I can’t kiss you because i’ll always want more than just a physical relationship with you, Lily. I can’t promise that this wont ruin things, because i’m barely keeping it together as it is” 

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

She chuckled, inhaling and exhaling slowly as James spoke. Likelihood was, Lily would have hexed the hell out of him. But, times had changed now, and if he wasn’t careful, she would probably end up hexing him for not kissing her. 

Suddenly, there was a distance between them, and if Lily were given the opportunity, she probably would have slapped him. With complete love, of course. Because she knew that he wanted to, and if a hit was something that would knock some bloody sense into him then maybe she should do that.

“ I’m not asking for just a physical relationship. Or any relationship at all. I’m just asking for a kiss. ” Looking up at him through her eyelashes, she pushed herself up onto her tiptoes and ran her thumb over his cheek gently.

“ And honestly, it’s easier to just kiss you rather than going out to find someone else to just randomly kiss. ”

[canislupins-deactivated20160415]

Continued from here with @redhaired–nightmare.            “ Yea. Adrenaline makes the Order possible I’ve always assumed. But then again, adrenaline also makes them possible. They’re not too afraid either. ”         Lily was absolutely correct. The feeling of being safe, or at least being in a safe place, was in very short supply. He didn’t even feel safe in his home anymore, well aware the Death Eaters were after him and his friends. It reminded him of Moody’s constant vigilance and how he felt like that phrase started to capture their lives more every day.       “ I have to admit: it’s starting to get quite exhausting. ”

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

“ Unfortunately, if we can do it, so can they. ”

That was something she attempted to explain to her parents all the time. Even though the Order could do magic, the other side could do it just as well, some of them even better. And the worst part was, no-one seemed to be very sure of who was coming for who next, or which side was winning.

“ It is, but I don’t think we have the time to be exhausted. ”

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

“ And, let me guess, Sirius, your VCR isn’t half as interesting as me. What’s so important that you can’t leave a message? ”

[blackissirius-deactivated201605]

“Bad enough I’m lucky to still have a job.”

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

“ What happened? ”

[fractusrisum-blog]

“Kiss me.” (heheh)

Hesitation struck like a ton of bricks, a temporary paralysis keeping him from acting on that beautiful impulse –

“I thought you didn’t want this to be complicated” 

[fractusrisum-blog]

Dumbfounded, James blinked a few times before actually processing the situation. Lily was asking him to kiss her, and he wanted that more than anything, to feel her touch again, to feel the love they shared. But there wouldn’t be love, the connection between them frayed by the time they’d spent apart. 

“If you want to kiss me, then why arent you?” he asked, flipping her own question. “You know I want nothing more than to kiss you, Lily.” Now it was more aggravating, more frustratingly tempting to keep his cool. 

“There’s a war and I want to spend every moment with you” Now it was just vulnerability on his part, leaning against her, closing in to brush soft lips over her neck, kissing the space just behind her ear, hot breath falling over pale skin. 

He was so screwed. 

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

Despite the alcohol in her system, Lily could practically hear the cogs whirring in James’ head. If she’d had a bit more sense --- and a bit less fire-whiskey --- in her, she would have backed out then. Instead, she leaned in slightly closer, sliding her hands up his face and curling her fingers into his hair.

“ I’m asking permission. Like, remember when we went out for the first time in seventh year and you asked if you could kiss me? I’m doing that. ”

Whoever’s idea it was to start drinking was either a genius or a complete idiot.

“ Even if we’re not together, you can do that. Just, you’re away a lot. And I’m at work a lot. ”

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

forgedofirxn:

_ ❝_ I did, but Alice wasn’t all too pleased when she found outand demanded I rekindle my love with gum immediately.· · · · · · that’s fair. At least we got away with most of itsince everyone was too focused on the guys.❞ ·

“ At least your love has been rekindled now. I can’t imagine a life without gum. We’re lucky in that sense, that the boys were louder than us.·”

[forgedofirxn]

❝It could have been, though I could have gone without the gum all together. At least it was a memorable night, and we didn’t set anything on fire. An accomplishment for us, really.❞

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

“ That’s fair enough. You went off gum for a while afterwards, if I remember. We didn’t, it’s true. Although, we were 11. We didn’t start starting fires till we all hit puberty. ” 

[fractusrisum-blog]

“Kiss me.” (heheh)

Hesitation struck like a ton of bricks, a temporary paralysis keeping him from acting on that beautiful impulse –

“I thought you didn’t want this to be complicated” 

[fractusrisum-blog]

Oh this was such a bad idea. Curious, James took a step closer to Lily, finding her balance just a bit off, her walk more of a confident saunter, which definitely caught him off guard. 

“Oh you have no idea how tempted I am” James braced his hands on her shoulders, inwardly groaning. He’d only had a drink or two, not enough to get him like his ex girlfriend was now, but enough to want this as much as she said she did.  “I don’t want you to regret this, Lily.” And mentally, he was kicking himself for not taking the opportunity, but his heart ached for Lily. Puling her down gently next to him, James made sure she was balanced, arm around her waist. 

[redhaired--nightmare-blog]

Oh, no. This was where the ‘chivalry’ kicked in for James, wasn’t it? Lily knew he’d been sorted into Gryffindor for a reason. He was able to make brave decisions even when he thought it was the wrong one. How annoying.

“ Then why aren’t you doing it? ” At the back of her mind, she did remember saying something to him about their relationship being complicated. Maybe that means she would regret it. But, either unfortunately for her or fortunately for her --- depending on how she looked at it --- the alcohol kind of kept talking.

“ Babe, there’s a war going on right now, right? And when there’s a war, aren’t you supposed to have no regrets? What if I regret not doing it, hm? ”