yo mr. white

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i feel sick

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i tried to save jerry from having to chose but. kohais doing the same thing fuck 

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while i acknowledge that within the past few days exceeding loneliness has literally been the only thing on my mind and its been tearing me to shreds and will continue to do so until after valentines day im still happy and willing to encourage somebody not to go out with me because i think itd be better if they were with somebody else

im not sure if this is nobility or just self doubt making decisions here

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im angry and sick of savalsk treating my friends like shit but i cant do anythnig because of complicated circumstances and it makes me fucking angry

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my deepest sympathies to jerry in this time of trouble

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ggod im glad i blocked savalsk a long time ago

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i dont know what to say and i dont know how to help aaron i really really care about you you know that and i just hope you end up okay over anything else

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unless you like. Want to and or are trying to stop drinking or smoking or drugs or something i cannot respect you and i dont know why and i feel so guilty about it

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i still have friends who associate with people that hold really shitty beliefs and some who are just fucking asshole lords of shit mountain and its like. why are you friends with them i??? what

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my emotions are too dependent upon the wellbeing of the people around me. way too fucking dependent

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pukes

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nobody is talking to me and ive sent messages to evrryone

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massive pile of useless shit coming through

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things i learned happen when i take a hiatus: nothing nothing changes nobody cares

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f or the love of god dont smoke

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worry

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ill still be usin this blog