BAD ♛ REPuTATION @redsuckerlad - Tumblr Blog

Posts

coolestbluejay

"Couldn’t we just buy him a new pen?"

redsuckerlad

"NO. YOu HEARD THE MAN. IT IS A VERY. SPECIAL. PEN. A PEN THAT CANNOT BE REPLACED. BY A MERE. REPLACEMENT."

#despairing muses #coolestbluejay

I'm Back Bitches! | | Open

The situation was very familiar to Caliborn. It was almost as if he had been through it before. Though if he did, it apparently wasn't grand enough to really leave and indent in his brain cause he ha forgotten all about. Which was really a shame honestly because the place seemed so...so...murderous. It was a perfect fit for an amazing killer like Caliborn. A perfect and handsome killer.

Besides the whole killing thing the place kinda sucked. Sure, there was a limitless supply of meat and candy, but he apparently had to room with other people. Why the hell was Caliborn of all people forced to room with some icky slimey humans. The thought of that made him shiver in disgust. Also the thought of having no power made him do that as well. Of all the things here, he should have been the headmaster. Whatever the hell that meant.

Well, if he was going to get power he would need some followers. Some minions. So, he set out to find some. It wasn't really that hard to find people that looked dumb as hell. But to get them to loyally follow him? That was another story entirely. Another story that proved even further how idiotic these people were. Jeez, being an all amazing lord was such a hard job. It really as.

He was on his last straw and last hope when he spoted the one. This person looked so stupid and so gullible they just had to follow Caliborn's lead. And once one joined, well, the rest that rejected him would see their mistake and flock to him. In which case he would only allow them to join if they carried him on a throne everywhere. Yes...it was perfect. What a solid plan. Caliborn was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Now to put that plan into action.

Strolling up the individual, he loudly announced his presence by clearing his throat as obnoxiously as possible. When he had gotten the other's attention he spoke in a confident voice.

"HELLO. WILLING SERVANT. I KNOW. YOu HAVE WAITED. VERY. VERY LONG. FOR MY ARRIVAL. BuT DO NOT FRET. FOR I AM HERE. AND I AM READY. TO LEAD TO YOu. NOW. LET uS GO GATHER. THE THRONE CARRIERS."

#aod open #i am so sorry caliborn is an asshole....

"YES. I LIKE THIS. THIS IS. MuCH. BETTER."

Keep reeling in the bodies kids. Soon, Caliborn can make a throne of corpses. Imagine that.

#despairing muses #why not throw a post onto his blog too #i never post as him *cries*#don't worry i won't post anything about the death's on cas shhh

inboxideas

Send me a ✐ and my character will write yours…

Using a random number generator:

➊ an everyday note ➋ a happy birthday card ➌ a “dear john” letter ➍ a “please remember to…” note ➎ a confession ➏ a “morning after” letter ➐ a love poem ➑ a goodbye letter ➒ a letter meant to be read only once my character is dead ➓ a message asking for something

#meme sunday #caliborn will write the BEST letters

shxriffwoody-deactivated2014071

Anonymously tell me what you think of my character portrayal.

#meme sunday #i think my ask is actually open this time

I don't feel like I've been active enough here so!!! Like for a starter. I will be capping it at 4. Thank you!

#outofsuckers #doing this on caliborn too for good measure #also cause i need to be him more...

"WHY THE FuCK. IS A SMALL. FuRRY. BEAST HERE."

#haha oops #i forgot to tag #desparing muses

redsuckerlad

Boss Ass Bitch | | Open

homhomunculus-deactivated201410

"Allow me to introduce myself, Master. I am Hom the homunculus, created by Grand Master Astrid Zexis. I serve her and her apprentice, Master Rorolina Frixell. Unfortunately, I cannot seem to remember all of the alchemical recipes I should know, but I suspect they will return to me with time. I am precisely four feet and eight inches tall, created at this height to be taller than Cordelia von Feuerbach. I’m pleased to make your acquaintance."

redsuckerlad

Master? Oh...he liked the sound of that. He liked it a lot. The rest wasn't too interesting or important to him, but the master part? That was very important. And this guy was much better than those leprechauns. He was even shorter than Caliborn.

"YES. VERY INTERESTING. I AM MuCH. TALLER THAN YOu. AND I AM NOT. CREATED BY A. ROROLINA FRIXELL. WHOEVER THAT BITCH IS. BuT I AM. THE MOST. POWERFuL. LORD OF ALL."

#homhomunculus #despairing muses #oh no #run fast and run far #caliborn is a liar

redsuckerlad

Boss Ass Bitch | | Open

homhomunculus-deactivated201410

Hom looked intrigued by the person he was speaking to’s apparent knowledge of alchemy and weaponry. If he could actually meet another alchemist on the island, he might have something to do on the island-school-with-no-alchemy-workshops other than stealing bathtubs to try and use them as makeshift cauldrons.

"Do you mean to imply you have knowledge of alchemy and of weaponry? Are you able to synthesize weaponry? Not even Grand Master could create weaponry using alchemy without the aid of a smith and his set of tools. If you are able to do alchemy, I would like to serve under you and help you create whatever you wished."

redsuckerlad

Did this kid just say serve him and create whatever he wished? Oh hell yes he knew a hell of a lot about alchemy. Truthfully, he didn't. He could make a gun or whatever appear out of that achelmizer thing. That was enough for him to boast.

"OF COuRSE. I KNOW ABOuT. ALCHEMY. I AM THE MASTER OF ALCHEMY. THE GRAND MASTER. I KNOW MORE THAN YOu. THE PuNY SERVANT. COuLD EVER IMAGINE."

#homhomunculus #caliborn is screwed #but hey if he gets a minnion then that's good enough for him #ooooh!#that's good #i thought you had to reboot th game everytime #despairing muses

rouresuchan

He couldn’t stand people so full of themselves; it pissed him off, the way they’d strut around like they were better than others. Oblivious and seeing nothing but themself. Narcissists and hypocrites without the slightest care of others. They’d never notice anything. The commotion was infuriating.

“Noisy as hell."

redsuckerlad

"YOu. SAY NOISY. I. SAY COOL. AND WAY. MORE HANDSOME THAN YOu. WOuLD EVER DREAM. OF BEING. AND VERY SMART TOO."

#speaking of arogant assholes #hey there!#tediousgrin #desparing muses

redsuckerlad

Boss Ass Bitch | | Open

homhomunculus-deactivated201410

Hom looked about as confused as he got for a second, before lapsing back into his usual expression and monotone speech pattern.

"I was attempting to explain, in response to your question, that being stabbed in the back immediately would have a greater negative impact if a larger, sharper object was used to do the stabbing. If we were to be attacked by a madman with a fork, it would take an amazing feat of strength in order for him to actually kill one of us. In addition, the deadliness of the stabbing weapon would be based partially on the metal it was made out of and how the metal was made. If the ingot was alchemically forged with two pebbles, the blade would be pathetic."

redsuckerlad

Yeah, he still had no idea what this kid was saying. Something about blades, and long-pointy things. And stabbing. The rest flew over his head.

"AH. YES. THE BLADES. AND THE STABBINGS. OF COuRSE. YES. I KNEW THAT. I KNEW ALL OF IT. I WAS JUST. TESTING YOu."

Yes, testing him. Caliborn already knew all of this. Of course he knew all of it.

#homhomunculus #oh wow #that must be hard :^O #desparing muses

redsuckerlad

Boss Ass Bitch | | Open

homhomunculus-deactivated201410

Hom immediately stopped moving upon being spoken to and turned toward the speaker. After hearing the question about how much it would suck to be stabbed immediately, he paused for a second and responded in his monotone drawl.

"I believe the damage caused by the stabbing, were it immediate, would only suffice to cause an actual killing depending on the weapon used. A single stab with a knife would not do enough to immediately kill anyone, and would suck less."

After saying this, Hom paused for a moment, and then asked a question of his own.

"Why are they called mutual killings if only one person is meant to dies because of a killing and another is killed because of an execution for the crime of murder?"

redsuckerlad

In tune with him, though slightly behind, Caliborn stopped with this boy. The answer he got was...was...was confusing. What the fuck was this kid saying? He wasn't supposed to be smart. Hell, he wasn't allowed to be smart. And what did he know about killing? Jeez, what a snob.

Oh and now he has the nerve to ask Caliborn complicated questions. How the hell would he know the answer to that? It was called that because Mr. Evill Bear said so. God, how could you just question the evil bear. What and idiot.

"WHAT THE FuCK. ARE YOu TALKING ABOuT."

#homhomunculus #i apologize for my muse's rudeness #of course it is!#despairing muses

Boss Ass Bitch | | Open

Caliborn was quite used to this concept. Being placed somewhere unknown and making people kill their friends. Only, he was used to being the one in charge. He didn't really favor the whole bear thing. If anyone should be in charge of these snot-nosed kids, it should be him. The all mighty, all powerful, Caliborn. The punishments would be so much worse and the killings would be way cooler if Caliborn were the boss. Or at least, that's what he thought.

In all honesty, the bear wasn't doing too bad. Someone burns a building? Kill them. They guess the murderer wrong? Kill the dumbshits and give the killer his or her power's back. Sounded like a good deal to him. Only problem was he needed to find someone to kill. Afterall, that was the only thing to do here. There was the whole "look for a way out" thing or whatever, but that didn't concern Caliborn. Right now he needed to find his victim.

As he walked around the islands he looked at each individual he passed, examining them to see if they were "fit" for his killing. Of course none were nearly good enough so far. That was until he saw the one. The one stupid loser out of all the stupid losers that looked even more stupid than all the other stupid ones. Ah yes, there they were. The one true idiot for Caliborn. Now, to approach them.

Carefully he caught up to their walking pace and followed beside them. Caliborn needed to say something normal. Something that wouldn't cause suspicion or make this an obvious thing. It shouldn't of been too hard considering how dumb they all were.

"SO. THIS WHOLE MuTuAL KILLING THING. IS JuST. ASS BACKWARDS. ISN'T IT. WOuLDN'T IT JuST SuCK. IF SOMEONE WERE TO STAB YOu. IN THE BACK. RIGHT NOW. AT THIS VERY MOMENT."