synopsis/request: when jisung forgets your birthday and pushes you away during a moment of vulnerability, silent tension fills the days that follow. as he scrambles to make amends, he realizes the real damage wasn't forgetting the date, but making you feel like a burden.
The rain had been falling all day. A slow, steady rhythm tapping against the windows, so soft it could almost be soothing, if not for the storm quietly brewing inside you.
The week had been uneventful in most ways. Jisung had been more or less locked in his little creative bubble, something you'd always admired about him. He could get consumed by music, swallowed whole by a single lyric he couldn't quite get right, or a melody that refused to sit still. You loved that about him. Loved the way his eyes got glassy and far away when his brain started spinning faster than he could talk.
But lately, it wasn’t just that.
He’d been distant. Not unkind. Just… elsewhere. Every conversation felt like you were knocking on a door he no longer heard you through.
You chalked it up to work, because it was work. He’d been spending long hours writing, recording, tweaking things late into the night, and barely looking up from his laptop when you came in. You were used to it, in a way. This was Jisung. He went hard when inspiration struck. He burned hot, fast, and completely.
Still, it stung in a way you didn’t want to admit.
Especially with your birthday just a few days away.
You hadn’t said anything about it. You’d made a quiet decision not to bring it up. Part of you thought it would be sweet if he remembered on his own, if he had something planned, something thoughtful, even small. Jisung wasn’t extravagant. He didn’t do grand gestures. But he knew you. He always knew you.
So you waited.
And waited.
Each day passed without a mention. No little comments. No suspicious texts. No asking if you were free. Just his head down, pen scratching across paper, headphones on, a world away.
But today, Tuesday, you couldn’t take the silence anymore. You weren’t going to outright ask him if he remembered. That would be pathetic, you thought. That would make it worse if he didn’t. But you could be subtle. Casual. Just ask if he had Friday off. Plant the seed. Give him a chance.
It was late afternoon when you walked into his studio. You could hear the low hum of a beat looping in the background, his fingers moving fast over his keyboard, pausing every so often to scribble something into his notebook. His back was to you, hunched slightly, hoodie pulled up over his head.
He didn’t hear you come in.
You walked over quietly, wrapped your arms around him from behind, pressing your cheek lightly against his shoulder blade. He stiffened slightly at the sudden contact, but didn’t pull away.
Yet.
"Hey, baby," you said softly, your voice almost lost in the music. "Do you have Friday off?"
You didn’t mention why. You didn’t want it to sound like a trap.
He didn’t turn around. Just shrugged, his fingers still moving.
"I don’t know. Maybe. I’ve got a lot going on right now."
You blinked. Pulled back a little. That was it? No follow-up? No “why do you ask?” Not even curiosity?
You bit your lip and tried again, stepping around him this time so you were facing him. He looked tired, eyes slightly puffy from staring at the screen too long. You leaned down, gently trying to kiss his cheek, but he shifted just as you did, and your lips landed awkwardly at the corner of his jaw.
You let it slide. Forced a smile.
"Really no plans this weekend? Not even a day off?"
He finally looked up. Annoyed. The kind of look you’d only seen when he was dealing with customer service or slow Wi-Fi.
"Can you not right now?" he snapped, rubbing his temple. "I’m in the middle of something."
You blinked. Stunned for a second.
"I was just asking—"
"Yeah, and I said I don’t know." He exhaled hard, clearly irritated. "Why are you pressing me about this? I’m busy."
That one landed like a slap. You took a step back, arms folding tightly over your chest. You felt like you were shrinking.
"Sorry for bothering you," you said coldly, the tightness in your throat giving you away. "God forbid I ask my boyfriend a simple question."
You turned before he could say anything else, before the anger on your face melted into something worse. You didn’t want him to see. You didn’t want him to know.
The door slammed behind you harder than you intended. The echo rang down the hallway like a warning bell.
You stood there, frozen, in the hallway. Alone.
And that's when it hit you.
He’d forgotten.
He really, truly had forgotten.
Your birthday was in three days.
And Jisung, the boy who once remembered the exact day you first cried in front of him, the boy who had surprised you with ramen at 1AM because you offhandedly said you missed home, had forgotten.
Your chest burned.
You didn’t cry right away. You refused to. Crying meant giving it weight. It meant making it real. And maybe, maybe this was still salvageable. Maybe he’d realize. Maybe this was just a bad moment, a bad hour.
But the more you thought about it, the more the silence over the past week screamed in your ears.
Not one hint. Not one look. Nothing.
-
The house was quieter than usual, but not in a peaceful way. It was the kind of silence that felt like tension stretched too thin. The kind of silence that made the air feel heavier.
You’d noticed it growing for a while now, the slow fade of warmth, like a candle burning down to its last inch of wick. Jisung had been lost in his work lately, immersed in melodies and metaphors, his mind trapped in the small studio tucked at the end of the hall.
He’d always done this. You knew his process. He dove headfirst into his music, sometimes forgetting meals, forgetting sleep. You’d loved him for that. For how deeply he loved creating. For how earnestly he got caught up in the things that mattered to him.
But this time… something was different.
This time, you felt like a stranger to him while he buried himself in lyrics.
And it hurt more than you wanted to admit.
Your birthday was in just a few days.
That tiny fact sat in the back of your mind like a needle under the skin. Small. Sharp. Unshakable.
You didn’t need much. You weren’t the type to demand gifts or parties or posts with long, poetic captions. What you wanted, what you hoped for was that he’d remember. That he’d do something meaningful, something that showed he still saw you.
You had convinced yourself that he did.
Even after the way he snapped earlier that day, the way he brushed you off when you asked if he had Friday free, you still gave him the benefit of the doubt.
You had to. Because if he had forgotten, if he truly wasn’t planning anything… then what did that say about the two of you? About how far you’d drifted without realizing it?
That evening, the house remained mostly silent.
You moved around the bedroom without saying much, folding laundry you didn’t have the energy to care about, rechecking a calendar you’d already memorized. You hadn’t seen him much since the argument. He stayed locked away in his studio, headphones on, music leaking faintly through the door like a barrier between you.
You had hoped stupidly, maybe that he’d come out and say something. Apologize, even a little. Ask what was wrong. Notice that you’d been quiet too. That you didn’t eat dinner. That you didn’t sit on the couch like usual waiting for him to finish work.
But none of that happened.
It was nearly midnight when he finally came into the room. You were already in bed, the blanket pulled up to your chest, your body curled to one side, eyes closed. You weren’t asleep, not even close.
He moved quietly, but you heard every step. The rustle of his hoodie dropping to the floor. The faint creak of the mattress as he slipped in beside you.
You waited.
Your heart thudded.
Then, slowly, you inched toward him.
You didn’t say anything. You didn’t push your luck with words this time. You just slid closer and gently wrapped your arm around his waist, your face nestling near his shoulder. A quiet attempt at truce. A silent please let’s forget the fight.
But before you could even settle into the comfort you craved, he flinched.
And then he sighed. Loudly.
“Seriously?”
The word hit you like a slap.
Your body stilled. “...What?”
“When I’m working, I really need you to not be all over me,” he said, voice flat, frustrated. “It throws me off. I was just about to write something important earlier and you came in, touching me, kissing me and I completely lost the line I had in my head.”
You pulled back slowly, staring at him in the dim lighting. His profile was hard. Tired. Detached.
You blinked once. Twice. Trying to process what he’d just said.
“I distracted you…?” Your voice came out smaller than you wanted.
He didn’t answer right away. Just let out another sigh and turned his back to you.
“I just… I’d appreciate it if you could give me space when I’m in work mode. That’s all.”
You didn’t speak.
You couldn’t.
You lay there, staring at the back of his head, the curve of his shoulder rising and falling slowly with each breath.
There was something hollow in your chest. A yawning emptiness where warmth used to live.
All day, you had been convincing yourself that this was just stress. That he was just overwhelmed. That he didn’t mean to be cold or distant. That it wasn’t personal.
But this, this wasn’t just stress.
This was dismissal.
And that, somehow, hurt more than him forgetting your birthday.
Because this wasn’t about one day.
This was about being made to feel like you were in the way. Like your affection was an inconvenience. Like loving him gently, quietly, earnestly was a problem.
You blinked away the heat in your eyes and rolled onto your other side, facing the wall.
You didn’t say goodnight. You didn’t touch him again. You didn’t cry.
Not yet.
Lying there in the dark, you played the moment over and over in your head.
You weren’t sure what stung more: That he hadn’t tried to fix the argument. That he’d called your love distracting. Or that he didn’t even realize he’d hurt you.
You thought about how he used to pull you into bed and kiss you like he couldn’t wait to tell you everything he’d written. You thought about the nights when he would bring his lyric notebook to the couch just to be next to you. You thought about the quiet way he used to hold your hand while working, like even in silence, he wanted to be tethered to you.
Now… you were a distraction. And worse, someone who made you feel too much for wanting to be close.
You clutched the edge of the blanket and closed your eyes.
You didn’t want to cry. You didn’t want to give it that power.
But the tears came anyway silent and slow, soaking into your pillow like an open secret.
In that moment, you realized something heartbreaking:
It wasn’t that he forgot your birthday.
It was that, lately, he’d forgotten you.
-
You woke up the next morning feeling like you hadn't slept at all.
Your eyes were sore, your body heavy from the weight of unshed words and smothered cries. There was a dull ache behind your ribs that hadn’t gone away since last night, since he turned away from you after telling you that your love was distracting. Since you’d reached out for comfort and got a complaint instead.
You lay still in bed, watching the gray morning light bleed into the room. You could hear him moving around in the kitchen, opening cabinets, the quiet shuffle of his slippers on the hardwood floor. The clink of a mug. A spoon against a bowl.
Your heart didn’t race. It slowed. Because nothing felt worse than knowing he was acting like everything was fine.
And it was then that the decision made itself: You wouldn’t say a word. Not out of pettiness. Not out of spite. But because you had said enough. And he had heard nothing.
Let him feel the silence he gave you. Let him hear it this time.
You walked into the kitchen wrapped in a hoodie, your face blank, your mouth a hard line. He was standing by the stove, eating cereal straight out of the bowl, scrolling through something on his phone. He looked up briefly.
"Morning," he said, like nothing had happened.
You nodded once, tight, and opened the fridge. You could feel his eyes linger on you for a second too long like he was waiting for you to say more. But when you didn’t, he just turned back to his screen.
You didn’t speak. Didn’t ask about his schedule. Didn’t try to sit close.
You took your yogurt and left the kitchen, eating alone in the living room with the TV off and your thoughts screaming.
The silence grew louder as the hours passed.
He didn’t notice it at first. You were usually quiet in the mornings anyway. He probably assumed you'd snap out of it, give him a kiss on the cheek, ask how the lyrics were going, sit beside him with your head on his shoulder.
But you didn’t.
And by mid-afternoon, it had become clear that this wasn’t just a quiet morning.
You walked past him in the hallway when he emerged for coffee. He smiled faintly and said, “I think I figured out that chorus.” You gave a nod that didn’t reach your eyes. No follow-up. You didn’t even glance at him.
He paused. Just for a second. And then kept walking.
By evening, you heard the subtle tone in his voice shift. A flicker of unease.
He called from the kitchen, “Hey… you want me to make pasta or something?”
You didn’t respond.
“...Y/N?” he tried again.
You were in the bedroom, folding the same shirt over and over just to keep your hands busy, your mind distracted.
He peeked into the room, holding the bag of pasta in his hand. You didn’t look at him.
“I’m making something to eat,” he said slowly, carefully. “Do you want any?”
Still, you said nothing. You didn’t even shrug.
He exhaled sharply, clearly irritated now. “Okay. I’ll just leave you alone then.”
And he did.
The rest of the day passed the same way. Cold. Wordless. Wide.
You were in the same rooms but worlds apart. He started watching you more carefully. Furtively. He asked small things throughout the day "Did you do the laundry already?" or "Hey, have you seen my hoodie?" Each question met with nothing but the silence you were buried in.
You saw confusion start to shift in his face. His brows furrowed. His shoulders pulled taut. He’d ask something, and when you didn’t answer, his eyes would narrow slightly like he was starting to notice that something was wrong but still couldn’t connect the dots.
And that hurt more than anything.
Because to you, the answer was obvious. You were bleeding right in front of him, and he was asking why the floor looked red.
You were brushing your teeth late that night when he leaned on the bathroom doorframe, arms crossed.
"Are you gonna stay mad forever?"
You blinked once and spat the toothpaste into the sink, wiped your mouth without answering.
He waited.
"I seriously don’t know what I did," he said, his voice cracking a little with frustration. "If you’re not gonna tell me, how am I supposed to fix it?"
You turned off the bathroom light and walked past him.
The door didn’t slam this time. It clicked shut, soft and final.
By the time Thursday night arrived, he looked exhausted. You couldn’t tell if it was from the studio or from trying to figure out what had changed. Probably both.
You sat on the couch with your arms crossed, the TV playing something you weren’t even watching.
He stood in the doorway for a while, watching you with an unreadable expression.
Then finally, he said it. “I’m gonna go to the practice room for a bit.”
You didn’t flinch. Didn’t react.
“Maybe you just need space or something,” he muttered. “I don’t know. I don’t want to keep bothering you.”
You bit your lip so hard it nearly bled.
Space?
That’s what he thought this was about?
He thought you were ignoring him because you needed air? Not because he’d forgotten the one day you were silently hoping he’d remember? Not because he’d made you feel like loving him was a chore? Like your affection was an obstacle?
You blinked at the screen, your eyes glassy. The show kept playing. You didn’t even know what episode you were on.
He waited a moment longer.
Then the door shut.
And suddenly you were alone. Again.
The tears finally came, thick and hot, as soon as his footsteps faded. They weren’t quiet this time. You choked on them, the kind that made your chest heave and your throat close. Your hands shook.
Because you were tired.
Tired of giving the benefit of the doubt. Tired of excuses. Tired of being too scared to say it’s my birthday tomorrow and you’ve done nothing. Tired of hoping he would see you, without you having to beg for it.
How could he not know?
How could he be so oblivious?
And still… you couldn't bring yourself to tell him.
Because wasn’t that the whole point?
You wanted to be chosen. Not reminded.
You wanted him to remember, not be told.
And tomorrow…
Tomorrow, when you woke up…
It would be your birthday.
And you had no idea if he would know it.
The practice room lights were dim, buzzing faintly overhead like the last nerve in Jisung’s mind, frayed and twitching. He stepped inside without much thought, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie, and let out a breath that seemed to deflate his whole body. His legs gave out near the far wall, slumping down onto the cold wooden floor beside Hyunjin, who looked like he’d just finished drowning in sweat and choreography.
Jeongin was sitting criss-cross at the center of the room, stretching lazily with one earbud still dangling from his hoodie. Felix lay flat on his back beside him, chest heaving with tired breaths, while Minho scrolled through his phone like he hadn’t just danced for two hours straight.
The energy in the room was comfortable. Familiar. But the second Jisung sat down, it shifted.
Hyunjin glanced at him sideways. “What are you doing here?”
Felix sat up halfway, his brow scrunched. “Don’t you usually spend your days off with Y/N?”
“Wait—yeah,” Jeongin chimed in, tossing his head back. “Isn’t this, like, a once-in-a-blue-moon thing for you to be here on a day off?”
Jisung didn’t respond at first.
He exhaled hard and let his head fall back against the mirror. “She’s not talking to me.”
That caught their attention.
“What?” Hyunjin blinked.
“Like... ignoring you ignoring you?” Felix asked, scooting closer.
“Yeah. Since yesterday. Full-on silent treatment. Not even a shrug. Just—blank face. No words.” Jisung pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “And I swear to God it’s driving me insane.”
“Damn,” Jeongin muttered under his breath.
Minho looked up from his phone. “Did you do something?”
Jisung shook his head instantly. “No! I mean—I don’t think so? I don’t know.”
Jeongin snorted. “That’s not convincing.”
“I didn’t, though!” he snapped. “Like—okay, yeah, maybe I was kind of short with her the other night, but I was working. She came into the studio while I was trying to get this chorus down and I got frustrated, that’s all. I didn’t say anything bad.”
Minho raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”
“She tried talking to me a couple times that day and I just—I asked for space. I was in the zone.” Jisung rubbed his temples, groaning. “She knows how I get when I’m writing. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“And then she just stopped talking to you?” Hyunjin asked, skeptical.
“Yeah. Didn’t even respond when I asked what she wanted for dinner. Hasn’t said a single word in two days. Like, is that normal?”
Felix frowned. “Sounds like she’s hurt.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t get why,” Jisung said, his voice raising without him meaning to. “I didn’t yell at her, I didn’t say anything cruel, I just... I was working! I asked for space!”
Jeongin gave him a long, unimpressed look. “Okay, but did you look at her?”
Jisung paused. “What?”
“I mean... when she came to see you, when she tried talking to you—did you actually look at her? Like—her face? Her energy? The way she was holding herself?”
Jisung frowned, caught off guard. “I mean... not really? I was focused.”
Felix leaned forward, soft but serious. “Maybe that’s the problem.”
Silence fell for a moment. The kind that starts to crawl into your chest when people say things you aren’t ready to hear.
“You probably said something you didn’t even notice,” Hyunjin said, wiping his forehead with a towel. “You do that when you’re in work mode. You push people away without meaning to.”
“I was just trying to finish my song,” Jisung muttered. But even he could hear the defensiveness in his voice.
Minho finally chimed in. “Then maybe ask yourself what’s more important—your music, or the way you treat the person who’s always there supporting it.”
The words hit harder than Jisung expected. They weren’t said harshly. Just plainly. Truthfully.
And they made his stomach twist.
He hated the idea that he had done something careless. That while he was focused on not forgetting a lyric, he might’ve forgotten her. Forgotten how hard she tried to love him even when he was too preoccupied to notice.
Jisung leaned forward, elbows on his knees, hands knotted together tightly.
“She looked so blank,” he mumbled. “I didn’t realize how... quiet she really was. I thought she just needed space.”
Jeongin raised an eyebrow. “Or maybe she was waiting for you to realize something.”
The silence that followed was sharp.
Jisung blinked down at the floor, the thought nagging at him like a weight on his back. He hated the way it made his chest feel tight. The way guilt started to form like smoke in his lungs.
And then..
Hyunjin, ever the emotional antenna in the room, turned to him with an almost casual question.
“So, anyway—what do you have planned for her birthday tomorrow?”
Jisung laughed under his breath, shaking his head. “Nah, it’s not tomorrow. It’s next week or something. The—uh—the 11th, right?”
“Tomorrow is the 11th,” Jeongin deadpanned.
Jisung froze.
His hands went numb.
He instinctively pulled out his phone, thumbing the lock screen, eyes scanning the date like it had betrayed him.
Thursday, July 10th.
Tomorrow: Friday, July 11th.
His world tilted.
“No…” he breathed. “No way.”
Felix’s face fell as realization hit him too. “You didn’t…?”
Hyunjin stared at him in disbelief. “You forgot her birthday.”
“I—” Jisung's voice caught in his throat. “No—I didn’t—I just—I thought—shit—”
The words splintered into chaos. He dropped his phone. His mind was spinning.
It wasn’t just the date. It was everything. The way she came to him asking if he was free Friday. The way she tried to kiss him, twice. The way she’d softened into his side that night in bed, begging silently for him to hold her. The way she hadn’t said a word since.
The way she hadn’t cried. Not where he could see. But oh god, she had cried, hadn’t she?
He missed all of it.
He missed her.
“Oh my god,” he whispered.
Minho stared at him, arms folded. “Now do you get it?”
“She was trying to see if I remembered,” Jisung muttered, like he was trying to convince himself the sky was blue. “She didn’t even say it out loud. She just… asked if I had Friday off.”
“That’s the worst part,” Felix said gently. “She didn’t want to remind you. She wanted you to care enough to remember.”
A punch to the gut wouldn’t have hurt as much.
Jisung buried his face in his hands.
“I fucked up.”
“Yeah,” Jeongin muttered. “Kinda bad.”
He didn't even argue.
Because he could see it now, all of it. Her silence wasn’t punishment. It was heartbreak. It was the sound of someone giving up.
And tomorrow, her birthday, she’d wake up in a house full of silence, thinking the person she loved most in the world didn’t remember or care enough to say a single word.
The second the realization hit, Jisung couldn’t sit still.
He shot to his feet like the floor had burned him, nearly tripping over Felix’s outstretched legs. The others barely had time to register his panic before he was already moving, storming out of the practice room, heart pounding in his chest, the door slamming shut behind him with a crack that echoed down the hall.
He barely heard Jeongin’s “Hey—where are you going?” Didn’t stop to explain. Didn’t even breathe.
He’d forgotten.
Your birthday.
Tomorrow.
No, today. It was past midnight now.
He had forgotten your birthday.
The one day he was supposed to remember. The one day you never reminded him of because you always wanted to be seen without having to ask.
And instead of showing you love, he’d brushed you off. Pushed you away. Told you that your affection, your literal presence was a distraction.
It made him sick to think of your face in that moment now. The softness of your voice when you asked him if he was free. The way you leaned in, tried to kiss him. How your touch lingered on his shoulder like you were silently begging him not to let go.
And he had.
Without a second thought.
He hurt you.
The company doors banged shut behind him as he ran into the cool night air.
The streets were mostly empty, the last few buses rumbling past. He tugged his hood up and darted toward the only place that made sense, the only place he could think of at a time like this:
Your favorite bakery.
Even though he knew it was close to closing. Even though the odds were against him.
He didn’t care. He had to try.
He arrived, chest heaving, legs burning, and nearly slammed into the glass door.
Inside, the lights were still on. But barely.
The workers were already cleaning up, putting chairs on tables, wiping down the counters. Their eyes shifted to him the second he pushed the door open.
He could see it on their faces. That “please don’t walk in” expression masked with tired politeness.
“Can I get a cake?” he blurted, breathless.
One of the girls forced a smile. “We’re just closing up, I’m sorry—”
“I know,” he said quickly, stepping closer. “I’m really sorry, I wouldn’t be here this late unless it was an emergency. I forgot something really important. Someone’s birthday. Someone I love.”
Something in his voice must’ve hit them.
Because after a beat, the girl sighed, glanced at the display case, and muttered, “I think we have one left. Lucky night, I guess.”
Jisung’s heart flipped.
She returned a second later with a small cake box in hand.
Your favorite flavor.
He could’ve cried.
He ran the whole way home. The cake safely in his arms. Careful. Intentional.
When he got back, the apartment was dark. Quiet. You were already asleep.
He peeked into the bedroom, you were curled up, turned away from the door, your shoulders tense even in rest. You looked… small. Worn out.
The guilt twisted inside him like a knife.
He closed the door gently. Didn’t make a sound.
Then he stared at the living room and kitchen like they were a blank canvas.
And he got to work.
He didn’t sleep.
He blew up balloons some crooked, some lopsided. He taped pictures of the two of you on the walls, printed ones he’d taken in secret during your late-night snack runs, your beach trip, even that one where you were brushing your teeth with a scowl.
He strung up a makeshift “Happy Birthday” banner, cut by hand with scraps of colored paper. He’d messed up the “R” three times. It still looked wrong.
He pulled out the small gifts he’d forgotten he had been meaning to give you, the lyrics he’d scribbled in the back of a notebook weeks ago, inspired by something you said while laughing. A hair clip you pointed at in a store once. He wrapped them in old sheet music.
He wrote a letter. Messy. Panicked. Honest. Full of crossed-out words and a giant smudge where he wiped his eyes.
He arranged it all by the time the clock hit 1:00 a.m.
And then he collapsed on the couch mid-balloon. One still half-inflated in his hands.
He didn’t hear the bedroom door creak open.
Didn’t feel the light of the hallway hit his face.
But the moment you moved, He did.
His body shot up like he was jolted back to life.
There you were.
Standing in the hallway, arms crossed over your chest, the expression on your face carefully blank, but your eyes spoke volumes.
You were still upset.
Rightfully.
You hadn’t forgotten. You hadn’t forgiven.
But he didn’t care if you hated him for another hour, another day, a week he had to show you something real now.
“Wait—don’t look yet!” he rushed, nearly tripping over a balloon.
You blinked slowly, unimpressed.
He walked up to you, gently reaching his hands to cover your eyes. You didn’t resist, but you didn’t soften, either.
He felt the chill in your posture. The hurt still lingering in your shoulders.
“Please,” he whispered. “Just... let me try.”
He guided you, quietly. Carefully.
His hands shook.
He stopped you in front of the living room, heart pounding against his ribs.
“Okay,” he murmured. “Now.”
He removed his hands from your eyes.
The lights were low. The table was covered in flickering tea candles. The little cake, topped with your favorite frosting. Photos taped to balloons hovered above.
Your name was scrawled across the banner in bright colors. The gifts sat nearby. His letter peeking out from under them.
He stepped in front of you.
“Happy birthday,” he said, breathless. “I’m sorry I forgot. I’m sorry I hurt you. I know this doesn’t fix it, but I needed you to know, I know now. And I’m not going to forget again.”
You stared.
Expression unreadable. Chest tight.
He could see your jaw twitch like you were trying not to smile. But your eyes were glassy. The corners of your mouth shifted ever so slightly. You nearly cracked.
Nearly.
But the silence remained.
Because what he hurt wasn’t something decorations could patch up.
And still, you stood there.
Looking at him.
Looking at the effort.
The mess.
The truth.
And for the first time in days,
You didn’t look away.
The soft flicker of candlelight painted the room in warm hues, casting shadows over the clumsy decorations, the carefully placed gifts, the melting frosting on your cake.
It should have felt special. Thoughtful. Sweet.
But it didn’t.
Not yet.
Jisung stood just in front of you, his breathing uneven. His hands hung awkwardly by his sides like he wasn’t sure what to do with them. He looked nervous. Not in the cute, shy way he usually did when he surprised you, but the kind that made his whole frame feel like it was waiting to collapse.
You didn’t speak.
You didn’t move.
Your arms remained crossed, your expression unreadable, carefully neutral, but your eyes were fixed on him. Not the decorations. Not the cake. Not the pictures or the presents.
Just him.
And that silence, heavier than any door slam or raised voice, pierced deeper than either of you were ready to admit.
He finally swallowed hard. “I… I didn’t sleep. I stayed up all night working on this.”
You blinked slowly. Once.
“I ran all the way to the bakery before they closed,” he added, as if that explained anything. “They only had one cake left. I—I begged them.”
Still nothing.
He shifted on his feet, his eyes scanning your face, searching for something, anything to tell him he was getting through. That he hadn’t completely shattered the fragile thread between you.
But your face remained calm. Distant.
“I didn’t mean to forget,” he said softly, almost pleading. “I swear I didn’t mean to—”
You finally moved. Not toward him.
Just your head, tilting slightly.
Your eyes flicked over the decorations. The half-deflated balloon on the couch. The misspelled banner. The crumpled wrapping paper around a small box. The cake. The candles, now half-melted.
And then back to him.
A beat passed.
And then your voice quiet, hoarse, deliberate cut through the air.
“You didn’t mean to forget,” you echoed, almost to yourself. “But you did.”
Jisung flinched.
Because hearing it said out loud like that made it feel real all over again.
You didn’t yell. You didn’t accuse. You didn’t cry.
You just told the truth.
And somehow, that hurt more.
“I know,” he whispered, guilt tightening in his chest like a fist.
You finally stepped forward, walking past him, not bothering to ask if you could. You stood before the table, staring down at the small cake in the center. Your favorite flavor.
It looked perfect.
But it felt... wrong.
Uncomfortable.
Artificial.
You were quiet for a long time before you spoke again.
“You know what hurt the most?” you asked, eyes still on the table.
Jisung slowly turned to face you, but didn’t interrupt.
“It wasn’t that you forgot the date,” you said, voice trembling just enough to betray your restraint. “It’s that I came to you, twice, and you didn’t even look at me.”
He said nothing.
“I asked if you were free,” you continued, quieter. “And you brushed me off. I tried to kiss you, and you called me a distraction. You said you almost forgot your lyrics like I was in the way.”
The words cut like glass.
“And then you came to bed,” you said bitterly, shaking your head, “and instead of pulling me close, you scolded me again. You didn’t notice that I didn’t say anything back. You didn’t ask why I turned away.”
Jisung’s voice caught. “I didn’t know—”
“I know you didn’t,” you snapped suddenly, turning to face him now, arms still crossed but your chest rising fast, “because you didn’t care to know. You were too wrapped up in your music to notice that I was hurting. That I was right there in front of you, trying everything I could to be seen.”
His mouth opened. Closed.
“I didn’t want cake,” you said, softer now. “I didn’t want decorations or balloons or even a gift.”
Your voice cracked just slightly.
“I wanted you to remember me.”
A silence fell over the room that made even the candles seem to quiet.
Jisung’s heart felt like it had dropped out of his body.
Because now he saw it.
All of it.
This wasn’t about a forgotten birthday.
It was about what that forgetfulness meant to you.
That in the middle of his chaotic, music-fueled mind, you had fallen out of focus. And not just the date, you. Your presence. Your love. Your place beside him.
And the worst part?
You hadn’t yelled. You hadn’t begged.
You’d just gotten quiet.
And he hadn’t noticed until it was too late.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, but it sounded so small now. So empty in the shadow of everything you’d just said.
You looked at him for a long, long moment.
There was something raw in your expression now. Not anger. Not even sadness.
Just tiredness.
And then you gave a faint shrug.
“I know you are,” you said. “But I’m still hurt.”
You turned back toward the hallway slowly.
And before you walked away, you added one final thing,
“I don’t need grand gestures, Jisung.”
You paused.
“I just need to know I matter without having to remind you.”
And then you left him standing there.
Alone in a room full of balloons.
-
Morning came heavy.
The early light filtered in through the curtains in faded strips, casting muted patterns across the floor and walls. You were already awake, had been for hours. Lying still in bed, eyes on the ceiling, a dull ache stretching across your chest.
You hadn’t slept much.
Even after he decorated the night before. Even after the surprise. The effort.
The reminder that he cared, but only after he realized he’d forgotten.
There was something deeply hollow in the pit of your stomach. Something disappointment couldn’t fully name.
It wasn’t that he didn’t love you.
It was that he didn’t see you when you needed him to.
And you weren’t sure a cake at 1:00 a.m. was going to fix that.
When you finally got up, you didn’t say a word.
You padded into the living room, careful to avoid looking at the decorations still up. They felt… false. Like remnants of something built on guilt rather than intention.
Jisung was already awake, curled up on the couch, eyes half-lidded and red from lack of sleep.
He sat up immediately when he heard you.
"Morning," he said, softly cautiously.
You didn’t respond. Not even a glance in his direction.
He frowned but didn’t push.
You passed him, quiet as ever, and walked to the kitchen. The clatter of a mug on the counter was the loudest sound in the apartment. You poured yourself water. That was it. No breakfast.
He stood a minute later, stretching awkwardly. He hovered, just a few steps behind. Like he wanted to be close but didn’t know if he had permission anymore.
The silence between you was crushing.
He trailed you throughout the day, always within sight. Always trying to stay near you like he could fix the damage just by being close.
He didn’t go to practice. Didn’t write. Didn’t open his laptop or touch his notebook.
Instead, he lingered.
Watching.
Waiting.
Hovering.
When you sat on the floor to organize a drawer you didn’t really need to organize, he sat a few feet away, legs crossed, pretending to scroll through his phone, but his eyes kept flicking over to you. Quietly hopeful. Painfully anxious.
You didn’t speak.
When you changed rooms, he followed.
Not in an overbearing way just enough to make it known he was still there. That he was trying, even if he didn’t know how.
By the time afternoon crept in, you were still silent.
You didn’t eat.
Not out of pettiness, but because your emotions were so knotted, so close to the surface, that even chewing felt like a chore. Food would make this real. Food would be you accepting the day.
And right now, you weren’t ready.
Jisung noticed. Of course he did. But he didn’t say anything.
He just... watched you.
With a kind of quiet panic in his eyes that made it clear he was spiraling inside.
By late evening, the tension had become a third person in the room breathing heavily, sitting between you on the couch, pressing against your sides.
You were scrolling absently on your phone. You hadn’t spoken in hours.
He was next to you, knees pulled to his chest, a small cushion hugged against his stomach. His hair was a mess, his hoodie wrinkled. He looked miserable, but kept pretending to be calm.
Then, in the quiet, your stomach growled.
Loudly.
Painfully loud in the dead silence.
You immediately stilled, eyes widening.
Jisung’s head whipped toward you.
There was a pause.
A long, too-long beat where his mouth twitched, like he was fighting it.
And then he laughed.
Not obnoxiously. Not teasingly.
But a soft, breathless, startled kind of laugh. Like the kind that slips out when the universe plays a joke on you.
He clapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide like he knew he wasn’t supposed to laugh, but he couldn’t help it.
And for just one second, you cracked.
Your face twisted as you tried to stay stern. Tried to keep the front up. But the ridiculousness of it all, the dead silence, your growling stomach, the haunted look on his face, broke something loose.
You choked on your own breath, and suddenly a small laugh escaped you.
Not a big one. Not even a full sound. But enough.
His eyes softened instantly.
The tension snapped not fully, but just enough for the room to breathe again.
He stood, carefully, like approaching a wild animal that might still bite. Then walked toward you, slow and sure, eyes never leaving your face.
"Hey," he said, voice rough with exhaustion and emotion. "Look, I know you’re still pissed. And you should be."
You didn’t answer, but you didn’t look away either.
“I’ll apologize as many times as you want. I’ll keep groveling for the rest of the year if I have to,” he said, gently, kneeling in front of you now. His hands rested on the couch cushion beside your legs, not touching you. Just near.
“But right now… I need to celebrate you. Just a little. Just today. You haven’t eaten. You haven’t let yourself breathe. And I know I ruined the start of your day, but I’m begging you, please let me try to salvage the end of it.”
You blinked at him. Slow. Guarded.
“I know I messed up,” he said again, voice shaking. “But you don’t deserve to be hungry on your birthday. You don’t deserve to sit here feeling invisible. You deserve cake and your favorite food and someone telling you that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to them.”
His throat bobbed.
“I’m that someone. I swear I am.”
You didn’t move. You didn’t smile. But your lip quivered.
And he saw it.
He saw that flicker. That tiny unraveling.
So he slowly reached out his fingers brushing yours, tentative, waiting for rejection.
But you didn’t pull away.
Not this time.
He let out a shaky breath, and his grip tightened slightly around your hand.
“I’m ordering your favorite,” he said softly. “And I’m not letting you lift a finger tonight. You’re going to eat, and if you want, we’ll sit in silence. Or we’ll watch that show you love. Or I’ll leave after. Whatever you want. Just… let me be here for you. Like I should have been from the start.”
Another pause.
Then, barely audible
“Please.”
The air between you had shifted, slightly, like clouds parting just enough for a patch of sun to warm the skin. Still cloudy. Still heavy. But there was warmth now. And that was a start.
You watched him as he pulled out his phone, thumb hovering over the food delivery app. “Your usual?” he asked gently, cautious but hopeful.
You nodded.
But just before he tapped the screen, you spoke, your voice barely louder than a whisper.
“…Add a brown sugar bubble tea.”
He looked up at you, surprised.
Your eyes met his briefly.
A small corner of his mouth lifted, hesitant at first, like he wasn’t sure if a smile was allowed, but when you didn’t pull away, it widened with quiet relief. That moment, tiny as it was, cracked something in both of you.
He tapped a few buttons and said, “Large brown sugar milk tea with extra pearls, 50% sugar, less ice. Right?”
You nodded again.
“…Thank you,” you added softly.
His eyes softened, his shoulders dropping slightly as if he’d been holding his breath this entire time. “It’ll be here soon,” he said, setting his phone down on the coffee table.
Then he moved slowly like approaching a fragile edge of ice.
He sat beside you, close enough to feel his warmth again, but not crowding you. Not forcing anything.
And then, gently, he leaned his head on your shoulder. Slowly tilted further down until he was lying across the couch, his legs curled and head tucked carefully against your side. One arm draped loosely across your lap, his grip feather-light. His face pressed into the hem of your hoodie.
“I'm so sorry,” he whispered against you. “God, I’m so sorry.”
The words were hoarse. Choked.
Not dramatic. Not performative.
Just real.
Repeated again, like a mantra. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
You ran your fingers through the sleeve hem of your hoodie for a moment, eyes staring past him, before you finally said, “I know.”
He turned his face a little, just enough to glance up at you.
“I forgive you,” you murmured, after a beat. “But I need you to know that you really, really hurt me.”
His breath hitched, but he nodded slowly.
You kept your voice steady. Firm but not harsh.
“I wasn’t even upset about the birthday anymore,” you said quietly. “You know I’ve never cared about birthdays that much.”
You paused.
“But when I asked if you had Friday off, you barely looked at me. And then I tried again, and you told me I was distracting you. Like I was bothering you. Like I was some kind of obstacle in your way.”
Jisung’s eyes dropped. His fingers curled tighter against your lap. He stayed completely still.
“That’s what hurt,” you said, voice finally cracking slightly. “Not the forgetting. But the pushing away. Like I was too much. Like I was getting in the way of your real priorities.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he whispered, desperate. “I wasn’t thinking. I was overwhelmed, I should’ve stopped and seen you.”
“You didn’t even notice when I stopped talking to you,” you added, looking down at him. “I was right there. And you didn’t even ask.”
His chest rose sharply, his lips pressing into a thin, broken line.
“I’ve been kicking myself for that for two days,” he said quietly. “I kept thinking, ‘Why is she being so cold?’ And I didn’t even consider that it was because I had gone cold first. I made you feel like a burden when you were just trying to love me.”
You didn’t say anything, but your eyes softened at that.
His voice dropped to a whisper.
“You’re not a burden. You’re my peace. My home. And I treated you like you were noise.”
That hit something in you. Hard.
Because that was the truth you had no words for until now. You hadn’t wanted flowers or presents, you’d wanted to be met. To be held in mind and heart like you always did for him. You were asking to be cherished, just for a moment. And he hadn’t shown up.
But now, here he was.
Curled around you like an apology with a heartbeat.
You let your hand fall gently to his hair, fingers brushing through the soft strands.
And you finally said, “Just… don’t let me feel like that again.”
“I won’t,” he said immediately, his voice thick. “I swear, I won’t.”
You tilted down slightly to meet his gaze. His eyes were red. Teary. He looked so small, so ashamed, but so present.
“I love you,” he said, his voice cracking. “Even when I’m stupid. Especially then.”
You gave him a small, tired smile.
“You are stupid,” you whispered.
He exhaled a breath of a laugh. And then looked at you again, this time with a question in his eyes.
You didn’t answer with words.
You leaned down, cupped his cheek gently, and kissed him.
Not soft.
Not dramatic.
But real. Lingering. Quietly desperate.
His arms wrapped around your waist instantly, pulling you closer, holding you like something he thought he’d lost. He kissed you back like he was still apologizing through every movement like he didn’t deserve you, but would spend the rest of his life making it up.
When you pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, eyes closed, breathing shallow.
“Happy birthday,” he whispered, barely audible.
You closed your eyes.
And for the first time all day, you smiled.
“I still want that bubble tea,” you whispered.
He laughed into your shoulder, voice warm now, full of the relief he hadn’t dared hope for hours ago.
“You’re getting it,” he said, kissing your temple. “I’ll buy you ten. I’ll buy the whole damn shop.”
“You better,” you muttered, resting your hand over his.
And for the first time in days, the silence between you didn’t ache.
It simply held.
//
a/n: for 🌺 anon.
masterlist.
[official taglist: @alisonyus @lenfilms @captainchrisstan @anastasiiiiaaaaa @emilyywhyy @ready2readnwrite @nyxaluna @tricky-ritz @tsunderelino @wickedbutlovely @delulumel @shinygubbins @hhwangsmoon lmk if you’d like to be added/removed 😙 ..]
summary: fed up with the way the slytherin boys create chaos without consequence, someone seeks to bring them down a notch by going after the one thing their strongest loves most: you.
warnings: this is relatively dark (for me anyway!) reader is attacked + kissed/touched against their will. mentions of blood, knives and violence.
word count: 6.6k 🫣
soundtrack: heathens - twenty one pilots
a/n: i promise this isn't deranged, there is ample flangst and a mattheo that would burn the world to the ground for you ♡
If you'd heard it once, you'd heard it a thousand times.
Be careful.
He's dangerous.
You don't know what you're getting yourself into.
As if you weren't an adult, perfectly capable of making your own decisions, of reading people, of caring for your own heart.
On paper, you and Mattheo Riddle made no sense. You were quiet and calm, friendly and compassionate, quick with a warm smile and a hug. You were light and laughter and goodness.
By contrast, Mattheo was rough and edgy, quick to anger with a firecracker temper and a biting sarcasm like a venomous snake that kept everyone but his closest friends at an arm's length. But around you? He melted.
It was like you held the key that unlocked his defenses, allowing you to walk straight into the dark center of his heart. He would have mocked any guy who fell for a girl the way he fell for you: immediately, irrevocably and hard. And once he had his mind made up about you, there was little you could say in the matter (not that you were arguing).
He showered you with a depth of affection that was rare for anyone, let along the brooding bad boy of Hogwarts.
Suddenly, he was just there, beside you in class, next to you at meals, and keeping you company in the library as you studied. Before long you began to crave the feeling of his presence, of his warmth next to you, of the low rumble of his voice meant only for you to hear as he shared an inside joke or complimented you. He'd eagerly watch your face light up in return, the twinkle in your eyes, the lift of your lips and your happiness became a high for him that he wouldn't stop chasing; making you happy and keeping you happy became his mission, one that he succeeded at in every way.
Then late one night in the library you were huddled close together as a storm racked the castle outside, sending wind and rain against the large windows. Your heads were close together as you spoke in whispers. You looked at him and smiled and for just the breath of a second your eyes flitted from his eyes to his lips, and that was all the invitation he needed. He leaned in slowly, winding his hand to cup the side of your face as he pressed his lips to yours and he kissed you with tenderness and hunger, the combination of which pulled you out of your seat and onto his lap. And once he realized how bright you shined after he kissed you? He was a goner. And so were you.
There wasn't a thing anyone could say to you about Mattheo after that that you would have listened to, because he had you, heart and soul. He treated you like royalty, he protected you like treasure and he loved you with everything he had in him. What more could a girl possibly ask for?
You fell in step with Mattheo's long strides on your walk to breakfast, the early morning light beaming through the stained glass windows.
He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side, right where he always wanted you, as close to him as possible. You nuzzled into his neck and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
As usual, the sea of students in the corridor dipped and dodged out of your way, leaving a wide berth for your group out of deference and intimidation. It was odd for you at first joining the group that held the rest of the school in such rapt fear because it was immediately obvious that they were just like everyone else, they just didn't care to show that side of themselves to the world; they were fun-loving, goofy, affable and caring and they quickly adopted you as one of their own.
You rounded the corner to the Great Hall and Mattheo went crashing into a figure that hadn't had the wherewithal to get out of his way. He tightened his grasp on you out of instinct and narrowed his eyes towards Seamus Finnegan who had dropped the entire stack of books he'd been holding and looked ready to argue about it until he saw who he was confronting. He bit his tongue instead, averted his eyes, and stepped out of your way.
Mattheo moved by him without a word, the slight already forgotten, but you glanced back with the smallest ounce of pity in your eyes as Seamus knelt to the floor to gather his books and a few Gryffindors came to help him.
"M'fuckin' sick of it" Seamus said quietly once you were out of earshot. "Him, them, walkin' around like they own the school" he shot a nasty glare in the direction of the Slytherin table.
"Good luck doing anything about it" Ron sighed, resigned. "Nasty temper, that one" he added, eyes shifting warily towards Mattheo like he might actually have the ability to hear him from the other side of the loud hall.
"It's cruel is what it is! Neville is still trying to recover from Nott hexing him. He claimed it was an 'accident', but we all know the truth. He should be expelled!" Hermione added hotly, her cheeks flushing at the idea of anyone breaking the rules and getting away with it.
Seamus grimaced as he stared at your group, at the ease with which you had all carried on with your morning, laughing and joking, boisterous, without a care in the world because you knew you were all completely untouchable, above reproach or reprimand.
He knew there wasn't a thing he could do in retaliation without ending up in the infirmary or worse he thought solemly.
What I wouldn't give to take them down a notch his mind whirled, to make them feel something, to feel vulnerable, on edge, afraid like the rest of us.
His eyes narrowed.
Surely there was a weakness, a vulnerability he could find, something something to level the playing field. His eyes skated over Draco and Blaise, over Theo's large frame and Lorenzo's tall figure before they landed back on Mattheo, and finally on you.
You.
He watched the way Mattheo kept his arm around you, as he always did, keeping you close to his side like you were two parts of one whole and Seamus thought about the way he'd seen Mattheo pull you even closer when he'd run into him. He watched, really watched him turn to look at you when you talked and saw a surprising softness in his normally cold, dark eyes.
It was no secret that you two were together, Mattheo loved kissing you openly, unabashedly, anywhere and everywhere he pleased: in between classes, after quidditch matches, at meals, even in class from time to time with a complete disregard to anything the professors said about it.
If there was one thing anyone knew or had learned the hard way it was that you were one hundred percent off limits and to think otherwise was a death wish.
Seamus remembered the transfer student several months ago that had unknowingly asked you out, and how Mattheo had broken his nose over it. Twice. Never mind the time Mattheo happened to overhear a Ravenclaw compliment your outfit, and he ended up puking slugs for weeks.
Seamus shuddered.
Mattheo had an appetite for violence and a temper that never burned hotter than when it came to you, sending him into a fitful spiral.
She's his weakness he realized.
"I have an idea" he said to the group around him.
Weeks later, your feet carried you quickly down the winding stone staircase from Divination. You were first out the door, eager to spend every second of the short break you had between classes with Mattheo as you always did at this time in the neighboring stairwell of the North Tower.
You turned the corner to see him leaning against the wall, waiting for you and your face lit up as you strode toward him in the small, empty space. He stood up straighter as he took you in and he fidgeted with his hands in an unusually nervous way that had you laughing as you approached him and pressed into him, winding your arms around his neck.
"Hi handsome" you breathed against his lips before you kissed him.
But it was like kissing a statue.
His lips sat unmoving against yours, his hands awkwardly at his side.
"Matty?" you asked, pulling back to look at him to see the same look of genuine nerves on his face, his cheeks flushed.
You laughed again, totally confused at his reaction.
"Are you okay?—"
"—Y-yeah" he mumbled before running his hands slowly up your sides. "Yeah, m'so good" he confirmed before tugging you into him.
His lips met yours but something was still off, he was stiff and awkward. You moved to pull away from him again but his grip on you tightened, holding you in place until he swung you around and pushed you against the stone wall so quick and so hard your head knocked against the surface painfully.
Mattheo was a lot of things.
But careless with you was not one of them.
Your heart raced in your chest as your head throbbed. You pushed against him, but he was unwavering as he deepened his kiss aggressively, sloppily, despite your growing protests. And then he bit your bottom lip. Hard. And you tasted blood.
"Ah! Mattheo - what the fuck!" you said, shoving him hard this time as your hand flew to your bleeding lip.
He looked completely disheveled, flushed, his eyes glazed as he stared at you. Your stomach roiled.
And then you earnestly began to panic because for the first time in the year you'd been together you were keenly aware of how tall and how big he was, and how helpless you were in comparison.
Your heart began to race and your breaths came fast and shallow as you searched his face for any sign of the boy you loved and every cautionary word you'd been told came racing back to you: Be careful. He's dangerous. You don't know what you're getting yourself into.
Those fears mixed with how fiercely you loved him in a cocktail of confusion that left tears burning in your eyes as you tried to hold back a sob.
At the sight of that he smirked and a chill ran down your spine.
You tried to run.
He grabbed you.
"C'mon dove" he said, caging you in with his arms against the wall despite how you squirmed. "I know you like it like this" he muttered as lips attached to your neck and he began to suck and bite you.
Dove?
He'd never once called you that.
You scraped against his chest. You tried to shout until he put a hand over your mouth and it was like he was intentionally trying to mark you, sucking your skin so hard you could feel the bruising as you pushed and punched him to no avail. He reached for the top of your shirt and yanked, tearing it as buttons flew off.
You were crying hard now as you fought his hands when suddenly voices echoed in a nearby corridor and he pulled away from you.
His grip loosened and his eyes flashed with fear, and then he left, taking off down the corridor without a word.
You sunk to the floor in disbelief, gasping to catch your breath as cries ripped from you and you wrapped your arms around yourself, your brain a mottled mess as you tried to comprehend what the fuck had happened to your boyfriend.
As soon as you could steady yourself, you grasped your torn shirt with shaking hands and made your way as quickly as you could to the common room through a series of passageways and abandoned corridors to avoid running into anyone.
You snuck into the dungeons, head down, desperate to get to your room, when you heard your friends' voices.
"There she is. Hey! YN!" Blaise shouted.
Shit.
You tried to ignore him, to act like you didn't hear anything.
"YN!" Theo called after you, louder. "Hang on, I'll get her" he said, standing to come after you.
You tried to walk faster, doubling your pace.
"Hey, hey!" Theo said, catching up with you easily with his long strides. "Have you seen Mattheo? He—"
He reached for you and you pulled out of his grasp, turning to face him and he stopped in his tracks, the words dying on his lips as his eyes widened and the color drained from his face.
"YN" he said quietly, intently. "What the fuck happened to you? Holy shit."
He reached for your face, taking your chin in his warm hand, his touch so soft and gentle, so completely opposite of everything you'd just experienced that you immediately began to cry.
"Bella, your lip" he said, panic slipping into his tone both at your reaction and the sight of the blood there. "Who the fuck did this?"
You closed your eyes and shook your head and he slowly wrapped his arms around you. Your head fell to his chest as you grasped him, soaking his jumper with your tears.
By now, Draco, Lorenzo and Blaise had come over and were muttering softly.
"Bloody hell."
"This is fucking mental, mate."
"Matty is going to kill them."
And at just the mention of his name, you pushed further into Theo's chest, burrowing there like you could hide from the world.
"Bella, you're going to have to tell him, you can't protect whoever did this" he said, misreading your reaction.
"Well, we'll have to find him first. He'd better hear this from us" Blaise said.
Find him?
"W-what do you mean find him?" you muttered against Theo's chest.
"Haven't seen him since breakfast. Wasn't in class this morning and didn't come for our smoke" Draco replied.
Your head ached as much from your tears as it did from where he'd pushed you into the wall as you tried to process that. What had he been doing all day? And what the hell had gotten into him?
A burst of laughter, shouts and a loud wolf whistle echoed from behind you and pulled the group's attention to the door. You peeked from the comfort of Theo's arms to see Mattheo walking in... in his underwear.
"Thank you, thank you" he smirked, bowing cockily to the group of onlookers who cheered and gawked at his half-naked body, moving to make his way towards his room until he saw your group.
"There you fuckers are" he said as he approached. "I have had a fucking day - someone's getting their face rearranged—" but he stopped midsentence when he got close enough to see you in Theo's arms.
"What's going on? What's wrong?" he asked, stepping towards you immediately.
Theo moved to let you go but you gripped him tighter, hiding yourself, refusing to move.
Mattheo stopped, startled by your reaction like he'd run into a brick wall. He stood at a distance from you, completely unmoored by the sight of you grasping onto someone else for comfort. His heart began to thump heavily and angrily in his chest and his cheeks flushed in irritation and embarrassment.
He let out a steadying breath, his jaw clenched as his eyes slid to Theo, the decided object of the brewing anger he felt.
"What. The fuck. Is going on?" he asked again, his fury palpable.
"It's not—I don't—" Theo stumbled.
"—She hasn't said anything, mate" Enzo clarified.
You could feel yourself begin to shake and a dam of pressure welled up behind your eyes at how angry Mattheo was, at how afraid you were to be near him, at what he might do or say next and yet at the same time, how much you craved his comfort, how you knew he was the only person who could truly make you feel better.
Your tears came hot and wet down your cheeks as you cried into Theo's chest and Mattheo felt something crack inside of him. He'd never once seen you like this and he felt a wave of nausea wash over him, sick over how upset you were, sick that you were in pain, sick that you didn't seem to want him or to be anywhere near him, sick that he didn't know what to do or how to help.
"B-baby, please?" he said, nearly begging as he tried to move closer.
The tone in his voice and the affectionate nickname tugged at your heart.
You swallowed and turned your head to look at him, gently, tentatively letting Theo go.
Mattheo's eyes met yours before they wandered over your face.
His face fell.
And he stopped breathing.
A cold sensation like the ooze of a cracked egg ran down his body as he looked at you.
Your mascara was smeared, caught in the tears that were running down your face. Your cheeks were red and flushed and your lip was swollen and bleeding. He catalogued the bruises down your neck and marks that looked an awful lot like bites there too that led to your ripped and tattered shirt.
Mattheo had been angry plenty of times in his life, and for good reason. But this was the first time he felt it. He could have told you where and how quickly the rage pulsed in his veins, blooming hot in his chest, pumping into his arms, into his hands that curled into fists and ached to hit something, into his stomach, his legs that wanted to run, to cause chaos and destruction until he fixed this.
But he didn't expect the next emotion that hit him like a dark wave in a stormy ocean, all consuming, nearly bowling him over: deep and overwhelming sadness.
"N-no, no no no who-who did this? Baby" his voice ached with pain as he moved to step towards you again, desperate to hold you, to make it better as quickly as he could.
You took a small, hesitant step back and looked at him with confusion, with trepidation.
And you said the next words so quietly he was certain he'd heard you wrong.
"You" you whispered.
His face scrunched in confusion.
"It was you" you said louder and all the boys turned to look at you and then back to Mattheo.
"In the stairwell? Our spot?" you said pointedly, trying to get him to remember.
"You were there, waiting for me, but you were... off. Different. And then y-you..." you gestured to yourself as you tried to keep from coming undone again at the memory.
Theo took a protective step closer to you.
Mattheo carded his hands through his hair in exasperation where they rested atop his head as he paced a step back and forth before stopping in front of you. It was taking his entire willpower not to lose his composure, and not to launch at his best friend.
"I got jumped this morning" he said patiently, evenly, though his underlying anger was still very much there. "I woke up in a broom closet ten minutes ago with no fucking clothes."
"B-broom closet?" you muttered, confused.
"Yeah, it was maddening, had to break the door down and— look, that doesn't matter. Please please tell me you believe me."
Your mind was reeling. You opened your mouth hesitantly to reply, but you couldn't find your words, your emotions, your fear, everything you felt far too raw.
He let out another deep breath and then crouched in front of you, making himself smaller, less threatening as he met your gaze directly.
"You are the most important person in my world. You know that, right? You are everything to me. Everything that is precious and perfect and right. And I would never ever hurt you."
You met his dark brown eyes that were shining intently up at you, unflinching in their truth and you nodded despite your tears and sniffles. Of course you knew that, which was why everything that happened this morning was so fucked up.
He slowly extended his hand to you, palm up, wordlessly asking you to believe him, to trust him.
"You're okay now, you're safe. No one can hurt you, no one can fucking touch you when I'm here, when we're all here, okay?"
And gods you'd needed to hear that. You nodded again, more strongly now.
"We're going to figure this out. And I'm going to fix this, I can promise you I will fix this. Hey, can you look at me?"
Your eyes met his and more hot tears fell down your cheeks at the gentleness and patience in his expression, the way he was nearly on his knees begging for you to trust him, to believe that the boy in front of you in no way could have been the boy from this morning and you pursed your lips.
"I love you" he whispered.
And those words alone healed a significant part of your hurt.
You slowly placed your shaking hand in his and it was like your body immediately registered the difference in his touch, how he tenderly ran a thumb over your knuckles as he continued to speak softly to you as he stood up.
"I've got you, you're going to be okay. It's me, I'm here" he said as he slowly pulled you toward him.
You took one step, and then another, and then you curled yourself against his warm chest and you let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding as you grasped him. He held you tightly to him, squeezing hard, and his hand held the back of your head as he pressed his lips to your temple.
You sniffed and let out a few more shaky breaths, letting him consume you, trying to replace every memory from this morning with his touch like it could pull the fear from you as you listened to his heartbeat and took in his familiar smell.
Theo cleared his throat as politely as possible.
"Really hate to break up the moment, but if you spent the morning in a broom closet, then how the fuck were you also walking around the North Tower?—"
"—Polyjuice potion" Draco said, without missing a beat, his brow furrowed in thought. "It's the only logical explanation, would also explain why they had to take your clothes" he gestured to Mattheo's half-naked body.
"What?!" Blaise exhaled in disbelief.
"So you mean to say someone planned all of this? Went through all of this effort just to get to her?" Theo asked, and you could hear the fury rising with his tone.
Mattheo's arms squeezed around you, a subconscious reaction to the thought.
"What kind of sick fuck?—"
"—I'm going to kill them" Mattheo said flatly.
And it wasn't a turn of phrase.
He'd said it so plainly, so matter-of-factly that you nearly believed him and hugged him back a little tighter.
"Do you have any idea who it was?" Lorenzo asked.
"No you dipshit, don't you think if she knew it wasn't him this wouldn't have happened?" Draco replied, smacking him in the back of the head.
Theo and Blaise chimed in, arguing the point with one another.
"He did say something weird" you mused quietly, silencing them all as they turned to look at you. "He called me dove" you said, shaking your head at the memory, like you could make yourself forget it.
Mattheo held you that night in a way that made you wonder if he'd ever let you go again. Every minute you spent back with the real him seemed to stitch you together again, to heal and comfort you as you snuggled further into his arms.
He'd apologized no less than a thousand times by now, the guilt steadily eating away at him, even though he had nothing to be sorry for, which you continually reminded him.
"You're a fucking angel" he sighed, unable to stop thinking about it as he traced a thumb over your cheek, his expression sorrowful and raw. "Someone did this to you because of me."
"Matty, that's not—"
"—I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I should have been there."
"It's okay, it's not your fault. I'm okay now" you said, smiling, feeling the words as you said them, tracing a finger down the bridge of his nose.
You tried to reassure him the rest of the night, managing to coax a few smiles out of him, but his eyes never left you, like he feared looking away for a single blink would leave you in danger. And although a spell had mended your lip and healed your bruises, he continued to trace his fingers over where each mark on your skin had been, like he was reminding himself, committing them to memory.
Nothing could have prepared you for the tension of the days that followed.
The whole group was on edge, like a pack of rabid dogs, ready to snap at anyone that got too close to you. One if not all of them walked you to every class, to every meal, to every event, to Hogsmeade and back again; Mattheo even insisted on showering with you and sleeping with you every night, much to you sincere enjoyment.
The boys spent their days eyeing everyone with suspicion and their nights trying to plot out who might have attacked you. Five guys were walking around the castle with black eyes, but no one had come clean and it was slowly driving them mad; the lack of answers was taking the situation from a serious problem to a personal vendetta.
Two weeks passed. And though the tension remained, you were settling into the heightened level of protection, finding a sense of calm in the way the boys surrounded you like a security blanket. You had every confidence that they would figure this out and until then all you could do was seek a return to normalcy, to focus on the present.
You grounded yourself with the task at hand, potting bundles of dittany during Herbology class shoulder to shoulder with your friends at a long table in the warm greenhouse, the boys acting as a veritable wall between you and the Gryffindors.
Your eyes caught Mattheo's across the narrow table from you and you watched the way the spring sun caught his dark locks. He sent you one of his signature smirks and a quick wink that made you blush and smile.
Your classmates chattered back and forth quietly until a phrase wafted down the table as Seamus Finnegan leaned over to Hermione Granger.
"C'mon dove, help me out?"
And it was like someone sucked the air out of the room. The warmth in the greenhouse suddenly felt stiflingly hot and you could hear the blood rushing to your head as it whooshed in your ears.
Time slowed to seconds like the tick of a broken time-turner.
Five.
Your eyes lifted and met Mattheo's whose had lost all warmth and peace in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. They were devoid of color, clouded, jet black. His jaw ticked as he looked at you, asking you wordlessly to confirm what he'd just heard.
The trill of Finnegan's voice, the accent was all too familiar, it was undeniable and it sent you spiraling back to that morning in the stairwell in a way that had you woozy on your feet. You nodded, small and quick back to him.
Confirming what you'd thought so many times before, that there was an inexplicable bond that linked the boys together, four sets of eyes wordlessly confirmed the same.
And then chaos erupted.
Four.
Lorenzo ran for Finnegan and Theo dropped the plant in his hands, sending shattered pottery and dirt flying in his rage, hot on Enzo's heels.
Three.
Your eyes followed them both but fell to Draco who had started moving in the opposite direction, frantically pushing past classmates who were looking around in panic as he tried to reach Mattheo.
Two.
You glanced at your boyfriend.
He hadn't moved.
He wasn't making a scene, but he'd pulled out his wand, and for the life of you, you couldn't remember a time when he'd favored his magic over his fists.
Oh no you thought as you began to move towards him yourself.
One.
Mattheo stood straight and tall, brandishing his wand with unflinching confidence and surety as he pointed it directly at Finnegan's head.
"AVADA KE—" his voice boomed.
"—Not like this, mate!!" Draco shouted, grabbing his arm at the last possible second.
"Get the fuck off of me!" Mattheo roared, the contact breaking him out of his stupor as he thrashed in Draco's arms.
By now the others had wrangled Finnegan whose face was as green as the detail on their robes; he knew he was utterly and hopelessly fucked, and if you weren't sure before you were certain now that it had been him, the guilt so clear on his face it might as well have been written on his forehead. Your skin crawled.
The rest of your classmates were running and screaming, tearing by you to flee the room as your feet kept you cemented to the floor.
"You're dead! You're fucking dead!" Mattheo's voice echoed, as he screamed and thrashed in Draco's arms.
"You're going to wish for death, you're going to beg me for it, Finnegan! How dare you, how fucking dare you!!!"
Draco was barely holding onto him as they all walked quickly towards the back of the greenhouse.
You moved to follow until Blaise came up beside you and gently reached for you, pulling you into the throng of people fleeing.
"C'mon" he said, softly but firmly guiding you the other way, back towards the castle. "They've got this, you don't need to be here for this—"
"—But this is because of me, Blaise" you urged, pulling back, frantically looking between him and the disappearing figures of Mattheo and your friends, his raging threats echoing off the glass walls in a way that amplified them.
"No, this is because of Finnegan" he said coldly, following your gaze. "And he'll get what's coming to him."
Blaise guided you quickly back to the castle, back to the common room and he tried his best to keep you company, to keep you occupied, though neither of you could properly focus on anything else.
"It'll be alright, right?" you asked quietly, for the hundredth time.
He nodded steadily. "It'll be alright, YN" he reassured you.
You sighed.
"This is just... a lot" you admitted.
"Babe, if you wanted someone to be level-headed and normal about you, you're with the wrong guy" he said in attempt to make you smile.
You smiled weakly and toyed with the fringe of the blanket that you pulled into your lap.
An hour passed.
And then four more.
You skipped dinner and sat in the secluded corner of the common room with Blaise until it emptied and the embers in the fireplace burned low, nearly out. You had sat quietly together now for hours. You were exhausted of conversation and exhausted from the wash of emotions from the day, a mix of relief, of pain in reliving the memories upon hearing Finnegan's voice, of worry about what exactly was going on.
You'd never seen Mattheo like that; he had been completely unhinged and you recalled his words the day it all happened. "I'm going to kill them" spoken like a vow, an oath.
It was beyond late before the door snicked open quietly and the four boys walked in without a sound. You and Blaise stood and they met Blaise's eyes first, nodding at one another before your friends departed, leaving you with somber smiles to be with Mattheo.
You navigated around the couches to him, your footsteps quickening to close the distance and you pulled him into your arms. His body was stiff with tension, but you felt it begin to melt away the second you touched him; he nuzzled into you and you could feel the tired on him, mixed with a burdened sense of relief.
"Come on" you said, taking his hand and leading him to your bedroom.
He sat down on the corner of the bed in the dim light and let out a sigh like he was trying to unload the weight he'd been carrying, his shoulders slumped as he ran his fingers through his hair. You stepped between his legs and reached for his hands the way you always did, ready to tend to them.
"They're fine" he croaked, his voice hoarse as he met your gaze, smiling softly at you, taking you in. You could tell he was trying to distract you and when he rested his hands on your hips and moved to pull you into him, he almost succeeded.
You pressed a quick, searing kiss to his lips and then reached to pull his hands off of your hips and he relented, sighing again.
His knuckles were badly bruised and bloodied, at least two of them looked to be broken from what you could tell and a frown crested your lips to know that the same hands that were so gentle with you could be capable of such violence.
But it was the crimson blood that stained his palms, that gathered under each fingernail that made you pause. That was new.
"Mattheo" you whispered, the question lingering in the air unspoken. What did you do?
"He's gonna be gone for awhile" he said plainly in response before his eyes met yours straight on, intense.
"And he is never, ever going to touch you again."
You pursed your lips and nodded, acknowledging that this was his way of apologizing, of making things right, of balancing the scales of justice as judge, jury and executioner.
He brought his bloody hands to your face, cupped it gently and kissed you.
Seamus didn't come back until well after spring solstice, weeks later.
Despite the rampant rumors and speculation, he didn't say a single word about what happened, like the boys had taken his very voice from him.
His face was still mottled with multicolored bruises, one eye swollen shut, evidence that even magic couldn't heal the extent of the damage they'd caused.
But even despite that, something you'd learned about your friends is that they were not quick to forgive and they never, ever forgot...
You were lounging by the Black Lake on an unusually warm afternoon, sprawled on a large blanket with your friends, your shoes and socks forgone and your skirt and shirtsleeves rolled up in an effort to catch a tan.
Mattheo himself was shirtless beside you, his eyes closed against the warm rays as you rested your head on his bicep. Theo, Enzo and Draco were sitting next to you playing exploding snap while Blaise flipped through a book, and you sighed, reveling in the rare moment of peace, which didn't last longer than fifteen minutes.
"Bit warm for a jumper, isn't if Finnegan?" Draco shouted.
Your eyes fluttered open and you turned your head to see a group of Gryffindors nearby.
Sure enough, the group was dressed like you, short sleeves, bare feet, but for Finnegan who was covered head to toe and was visibly dripping sweat. His faced flushed even redder at the comment as he averted his eyes, immediately shrinking in pure terror.
"Should take it off, mate" Lorenzo chimed in cheekily. "Enjoy the sun, no?"
Seamus swallowed but wouldn't meet their eyes.
You turned to look at Mattheo but he hadn't moved. His eyes remained closed though you could see a muscle tic in his clenched jaw.
"C'mon then" Theo said, sitting up like he meant to move. "Need our help? We'll come lend a hand."
Seamus looked like he was about to cry as his face crumpled.
You didn't know what they were playing at, but you could tell it was torturing him, and for the briefest moment you pitied him, until your memories came wading back, threatening to overwhelm you with the feeling of sickening fear and betrayal.
And it was like Mattheo could sense it, his eyes fluttering open to look at you as he tried to tug you back into his arms.
"Just ignore them" he said, his voice still scratchy.
But you saw Seamus pull his sweater over his head out of the corner of your eye and as it came away from his body you noticed the crimson lines covering his arms. Even at your distance you could feel the sickness of them, the curse of dark magic in the air and several people gasped and scrambled away from him.
You sat up and stared closer as you realized the lines spelled something.
On his left arm, MUDBLOOD in deep angry jagged letters, in wounds carved into his skin.
On his right, RAPIST.
He took one fateful look at your group and then got up and nearly tripped over himself as he ran back to the castle.
"Aww, was it something I said?" Draco cried after him.
"Bye!" Lorenzo waved cheerfully.
Blaise blew him a kiss.
And Theo watched his every move under dark lidded eyes.
But Mattheo was looking solely at you, trying to gauge your reaction, your understanding. He reached for your hand and twined his fingers in yours, pulling you back to lay down with him as he looked at you with vulnerability and caressed your cheek. Now you knew the truth. You knew just how dangerous he could be, just what lengths he would go to for you.
Your heart thumped wildly in your chest and your mind raced and for a moment it occurred to you to be scared.
Be careful. He's dangerous. You don't know what you're getting yourself into.
You thought about broken knuckles and black eyes, of blood-stained palms and the lingering feeling of dark magic in the air. You heard his voice rattling the panes of the greenhouse with his rage, 'You're going to wish for death, you're going to beg me for it!'
And then that same voice, from the same boy, sweetly, softly ‘No one can hurt you, no one can fucking touch you when I'm here, when we're all here. I love you, YN.'
And you thought about the caress of his lips against yours on a stormy night, of his warm arms around you, of the feeling of his calloused hands on your bare skin, and the rumble of his voice in his chest as your head lay on his heart.
"It'll never heal" he said quietly, bringing you back to the present moment. "No magic can fix it. He'll wear that reminder on his skin for the rest of his life."
His chocolate eyes warmed as they looked at you, asking you, one more time, to trust him, to tell him that you understood.
You smiled softly, and traced a finger over his lips and a calm comfort settled over you, a reassurance that no matter what life threw your way, this boy would be standing by your side, that he might burn the world to the ground but would never let a flame touch you, that this was simply how he loved: deep, sincere, serious and unrelenting.
“I love you” you whispered in reassurance before leaning in to press the sweetest kiss to his lips that melted his heart and proved to him that every sin he committed along the way would always be worth it, for you.
summary ; theo’s not above a little suffering if it means you’ll kiss it better. bruises fade, but your lips on his? worth every second of pain.
word count ; 2.6k
warnings ; fluff, kissing, mentions of blood
navigation masterlist
Theodore never quite knew what to do with the attention you gave him.
There you were, sitting across from him in the library, your hair falling forward as you scribbled down notes, lost in thought. He should’ve been focused on his own work, on the potions essay that was due tomorrow, but he couldn’t help himself. His gaze kept drifting back to you. Every time your quill scratched the parchment or your lips pressed together in concentration, his chest tightened. You had a way of drawing him in, pulling him closer with every small, unconscious movement.
It wasn’t like he’d never noticed you before. You had always been part of the group, hovering on the edges of conversations, offering sharp comments when the boys got too ridiculous, but you never quite entered Theo’s orbit like this. Now, though? Now, he was starting to realize that he’d been wrong to overlook you. You were too… soft. Too gentle in a world that had taught him to be hard, distant. It made him feel things he wasn’t used to feeling.
Then it happened—something so small, so insignificant that it shouldn’t have left a mark on him, but it did.
A paper cut.
He didn’t even flinch as the thin slice formed on his finger while rifling through his notes. Theo muttered a low curse under his breath, instinctively moving to press his thumb against it, but before he could do anything, you noticed.
“You okay?” you asked, your voice warm, as though you had known him for ages.
Theo blinked, unsure why you were even asking. “Just a paper cut.”
A small smile tugged at your lips as you set your quill down and leaned forward. “Want me to kiss it and make it feel better?”
For a split second, he thought you were joking. He stared at you, unsure how to respond. That wasn’t the kind of offer people made to him. Kisses didn’t fix anything—not the way his childhood had been, not the way life worked now. But the way you looked at him, playful yet sincere, made something stir in his chest.
“That works?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.
You laughed lightly, like it was the simplest thing in the world. “Sure it does. My mom used to do it for me when I was little. Worked like a charm.”
The mention of your mom caught him off guard. His own memories of his mother were hazy, distant, like an old photograph left out in the sun for too long. He couldn’t remember if she had ever kissed his cuts, couldn’t remember if anyone had ever cared for him like that. Affection had always been scarce in the Nott household. His mother had been gone for a long time, and the little acts of tenderness you described had died with her.
You stood and walked around the table. He didn’t know why he didn’t stop you, didn’t say something sarcastic or brush it off.
“It’s no big deal,” he muttered, trying to pull his hand away, but you held it gently, your fingers warm against his.
“Let me see,” you said softly, and he couldn’t find it in himself to argue. He held his breath as you leaned down, your lips brushing over his finger in the softest kiss. The contact was fleeting, a whisper of warmth, but it sent his mind reeling. He didn’t understand why something so simple, so childlike, could make him feel… different.
“There,” you said, your voice light as you pulled back. “All better.”
He could only stare at you, his throat suddenly tight. “Yeah… thanks.”
You smiled, returning to your seat like nothing had happened, like you hadn’t just unknowingly changed something in him. Theo’s gaze lingered on you, the phantom of your lips still tingling on his skin. He didn’t know how to process it. No one had ever looked at him that way, treated him that way.
But he knew one thing for sure—he wanted to feel that again.
The next day, Theo’s mind was still replaying that moment, over and over. It had awakened something inside him, something that ached for more, and before he knew it, he found himself searching for a way to feel it again. This time, though, he didn’t want a kiss on the hand. He wanted more.
Theo found Draco leaning against one of the stone walls outside. He approached him with a strange sort of determination, one that was equal parts reckless and desperate. Draco raised an eyebrow when he saw Theo approaching.
“Need something, Nott?” Draco drawled, clearly amused by the look on Theo’s face.
Theo didn’t waste time with pleasantries. “Punch me,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.
Draco blinked, clearly taken aback. “What?”
“I need you to punch me,” Theo repeated, his voice steady despite the absurdity of the request.
“Alright, gladly, but why?”
Theo swallowed, his throat dry. He knew it was ridiculous, that this whole plan was absurd, but he needed this to happen. He needed you to kiss him again, to care again. "Just... trust me. I need a bruise, a cut, something that’ll make her—” He cut himself off, his face heating up.
Draco’s smirk only widened, a glint of realization flashing in his eyes. “Ah. Her.” He stood up straighter, clearly intrigued. “So, you’re finally doing something about it. You want me to punch you so she’ll fuss over you. Clever.”
“Just do it, will you?” Theo muttered, trying to ignore the heat creeping up his neck.
Draco shrugged, but there was a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “If you insist.” Without further warning, Draco’s fist came flying toward Theo’s face. He didn’t hold back either—Theo barely had time to register the motion before pain exploded in his mouth.
He stumbled backward, his hand flying to his lip. Blood welled up immediately, the sharp sting spreading across his jaw.
“Merlin’s beard,” Theo muttered, his vision momentarily swimming. “I said punch me, not break my damn face.”
Draco stepped back, grinning like he had just done Theo the biggest favor in the world. “There. You’re welcome.”
Theo wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand, already thinking about what would come next. He didn’t care about the pain. He didn’t care about anything except the idea of you seeing him like this—hurt, vulnerable—and caring for him again.
He found you in the common room later that day, sitting in your usual spot near the fireplace. You didn’t see him at first—too absorbed in the book you were reading, a small frown of concentration on your face.
Theo hesitated for a second, suddenly feeling nervous. What if this was a mistake? What if you didn’t react the way he hoped?
But then you looked up, and your eyes immediately widened in shock as you took in the sight of him—blood smeared on his lip, a fresh bruise forming on his jaw.
“Theo!” you gasped, your book forgotten as you rushed over to him. “What happened? Are you okay?”
He tried to shrug it off, leaning casually against the arm of the couch, though the pain in his mouth made it hard to play it cool. “Got into a fight. No big deal.”
You didn’t look convinced. Your fingers hovered near his face, concern etched into your features. “Does it hurt?”
Theo could feel his heart pounding, his mouth dry as the moment he’d been waiting for arrived. His voice was lower than he intended as he muttered, “A little… are you… are you not gonna kiss it better?”
Your expression softened, that same playful smile from the day before returning. “Again, huh?”
You leaned in, your eyes flicking to his lips, and Theo’s pulse quickened. When your lips brushed his, it was soft, cautious, but this time there was something more to it—something that made the ache in his lip completely disappear.
And just like that, Theo knew he was done for.
Your lips lingered for a moment longer than necessary, and it was enough to set Theo’s blood humming. The softness of your touch felt like a balm, not just for the bruise but for something deeper—something buried in the recesses of his mind that he didn’t want to examine too closely.
When you pulled back, your gaze met his, a flicker of something unreadable crossing your face. Concern? Amusement? Theo couldn’t tell. But what he did know was that he didn’t want that moment to end. Not yet.
"You really need to stop getting into fights," you murmured, shaking your head with a small, exasperated smile. "What were you even thinking?"
Theo almost laughed at the irony. He couldn’t very well tell you the truth—that the whole thing had been orchestrated just for this. Just for the briefest chance to feel your lips on his.
Instead, he shrugged, playing it off. "You know how it is. Slytherins and Gryffindors don’t mix well."
You rolled your eyes, but there was a softness behind it, something that made Theo’s chest tighten in that unfamiliar way again. “One of these days, you’re going to get yourself hurt for real, and then I won’t be able to kiss it better.”
That sent a jolt of warmth through him, stronger than the pain in his lip. He let the silence stretch between you for a moment, watching as you shifted nervously under his gaze.
"Maybe," he said slowly, his voice low, "I just like the way you kiss me."
Your eyes widened slightly at that, a faint blush creeping across your cheeks. Theo smirked inwardly, relishing the way his words seemed to fluster you. You always had a quick response for everything, but now you were quiet, your lips parting as though you weren’t sure what to say.
“I—” you started, your voice trailing off as you looked down at your hands.
Theo’s heart pounded in his chest. He wanted to reach out, to grab your wrist and pull you back in, to kiss you again but for real this time—not as some excuse to soothe a bruise or a cut.
Before you could speak, a voice cut through the tension like a knife.
“Well, look at you two,” Draco drawled as he strolled into the common room, clearly interrupting something he knew full well was important. “What did I say, Nott? You’re welcome, by the way.”
Theo shot Draco a glare, a deep scowl crossing his face. Of course he had to show up now, just when things were starting to move in the direction he wanted.
You, however, looked between them, confusion evident on your face. “What’s he talking about?”
Before Theo could respond, Draco answered for him, leaning casually against the wall with that insufferable grin. “Oh, nothing. Just that Nott here got himself punched on purpose. Quite the romantic, isn’t he?”
Theo’s heart dropped. He glared at Draco, fury bubbling up in his chest. “Shut it, Malfoy.”
But it was too late. You were already staring at Theo, your eyes wide with disbelief. “Wait… what?”
Theo tried to backtrack, scrambling for some sort of excuse, but he wasn’t fast enough. You took a step back, your brows furrowed in confusion as realization slowly dawned on you.
"You… you let someone punch you just so I’d…?"
The color drained from Theo’s face as he saw the pieces falling into place in your mind.
“I—” he began, his voice unsteady, “It’s not like that.”
You crossed your arms, staring at him like you were trying to decide whether to be angry, amused, or something in between. “Theo, what the hell were you thinking?”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I just… I wanted—” He cut himself off again, feeling ridiculous. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.
But you were still looking at him, waiting for an answer, and the weight of your gaze was too much to bear.
“I wanted you to kiss me,” Theo muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your expression softened, the confusion giving way to something else—something gentler. You uncrossed your arms and took a step closer, your eyes searching his face.
"You could’ve just asked," you said softly, a hint of a smile tugging at your lips.
Theo blinked, thrown off by your reaction. He had expected you to be angry, maybe even laugh and walk away. But there you were, looking at him with something that felt dangerously close to fondness.
“You… wouldn’t have laughed at me?” he asked, his voice rough with uncertainty.
You shook your head, your smile growing. “No, Theo. I wouldn’t have laughed.”
Theo didn’t know what to say to that. For a long moment, he just stood there, staring at you, the words dying in his throat. He felt foolish, standing in front of you like this, bruised and vulnerable, all because he didn’t know how to ask for something he wanted so badly.
But then you reached out, your hand gently brushing against his bruised lip again, and all the embarrassment, all the uncertainty melted away.
“If you wanted me to kiss you,” you murmured, stepping even closer, “all you had to do was say so.”
When your lips finally met his, it wasn’t like before. This wasn’t a kiss to make anything better. This was a kiss because you both wanted it.
Theo’s hand cupped the back of your neck, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss. You responded instantly, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pressed yourself against him, and Theo felt like he was drowning, lost in the feel of you, in the way you kissed him like you’d been waiting for this as long as he had.
When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting together.
“Yeah, I still don’t regret anything,” he muttered.
You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his lips again. “Next time, just ask, Theo. No more getting hurt.”
Theo nodded, his heart still racing as he held you close, a grin tugging at his lips. “Deal.”
summary; theo decides to quit smoking, but doesn’t realise that his decision would affect his girlfriend, too.
word count; 3007
notes; just a cute, fluffy little piece based on something that I was tagged in about 2 months ago! unfortunately, I cannot find the original post or tagger, but if it’s you, please let me know!!
Being a girl is: wanting to go to bed early but deciding to just get on tumblr/wattpad/Ao3 for a little bit and then end up finding a fic series that you really like and read until well past your usual bedtime then keeping on because it’s already past your bedtime. Then being mad when you wake up in the morning because you overslept your timer.
oh, to be reunited with a lifelong childhood friend that faked his own death, blew up our grandmother who loved me more, traumatized me, and came back as a cop to steal me away from my four other boyfriends ♡♡
andulkaphoto
2087
origamiaround
titsay
annaxmalina
stormborns
discoholicmusic
tangentwithtanner
