welcome to my mind

Sun in Scorpio, moon in cancer, ascendant in Leo.

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“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.” - Paulo Coelho

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TANGLED IN YOU

I belong to him, I belong to you,

I’m shuttered in two.

Am I sick, am I crazy

that I envy you?

Envy your thoughts, the ones not mine,

I just want to read your mind.

It hurts to disconnect,

the wires are tangled inside my head.

Should I stop before I break,

before I intoxicate, suffocate?

Greedy, greedy — I want that sweet touch,

feel your skin, it’s never enough.

I’m a sin, sinner, sinning with you,

in my head over and over, what can I do?

My heart aches, my thoughts run wild,

I’m stupefied, lost like a child.

Only one time before I knew,

I knew right away it was true.

That’s how love should feel —

easy, without doubt, so real.

The words were just there,

like we knew all along we could belong.

But now for the first time,

I’m not sure if the line is mine.

I already found my missing piece,

but my heart won’t find its peace.

Greedy, greedy — I want that sweet touch,

feel your skin, it’s never enough.

I’m a sin, sinner, sinning with you,

in my head over and over, what can I do?

My heart aches, my thoughts run wild,

I’m stupefied, petrified, lost like a child.

It hurts to disconnect,

the wires spark, the edges fray.

Inside I feel mangled —

should I walk or should I stay.

If I stop, I’ll break,

if I stay, I’ll suffocate.

I belong to him, I belong to you,

I’m shuttered in two…

Can I love without breaking through?

Or am I just tangled — tangled in you?

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Would u if u could?

If I tould u it was fine?

Would u gently sweep ur fingers on my skin, put ur hands around my neck and squeeze it tight?

The raising heartbeats of u and I would cause us to vibrate synchronized.

Would u kiss my lips if I told u u could?

I want you to taste me, do u think u would?

Do u imagine it like I do?

Do u fantasies about how u could touch me, making me come, making me scream.

Would u like it if I did, I think you would.

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If it’s not ment to be it’s not ment to be.

I will release.

Let it be not be.

If I have to sit around and wait for shit to go down, it’s not ment to be.

Tone it down, it’s not that big of an deal.

Just a feeling I don’t want to leave.

If it will be, it will be.

Then I would embrace it and feel.

If it would not be, the feeling of you would leave.

I would release and I would still be free.

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Dear soul

Im sorry, im sorry that I broked us. Im sorry for letting you down. I know you’re angry at me for not listening to you. You tryed to help me, I know I let us down. I was not listening to you, I’m sorry. I hope you will forgive me for letting that abusive little piece of shit paint us with hate. And now I hope just like my heart that you will give us a chance to love this new boy. I know that you talks to he’s soul, and I can sence you better than before. So maybe he can help to make us whole?

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Scars heals but it takes time

My soul clings to the heart, hugging hard. I do not know if I might stop breathing. I do not know what to do. I just know that I want you, here, close.

Before, I had excuses every day to drink or smoke a ciggarett or just cry myself to death until the quilt became wet.

But you make me happy and I’m so afraid for you to believe that your love is not good enough, because it really is but I’m afraid you’ll get hurt if I’m sad about things that already happened long ago.

I try to be fine inside, but my shadow picks up the pieces I lose from my soul and put them back in place every day. I do not want to feel like this and I know that if I just say how sad I am, how broken the soul is and how my heart soon bleeds to death of the pain, I know that you would fix me at once and say that everything will be fine.

But I do not want to be a charitable, one thing you have to fix, I just want to be your last. Now when I lie alone in my bed, I wish nothing but the warmth here, no more or less than that, only your warm skin against mine, your breath against my forehead. Had I had you so every night I would have been whole a long time ago, but some fights you have to clear all by yourself.

Therefore I cry almost every time we are separated, to the pain of being without you is unbearable. At those moments we are together, when I know you’re close, then all the pieces are in place. But the main thing is that I can love you because you are the most important thing I have.

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Mom

Always makes me feel like things I have to say really matters. Always wants me to belive in my self and always when I am with her, I do. Always loved me, loves me and knows always knows when something is not right in my life. Always accepts me for who I am, even the not so charming parts of me. Always makes me feel safe. Always to kind. Always makes me feel like I matter.

I will always be grateful and always love you. Specially for being my mom, because a better one, I could’ve never had.

She’s a pure soul, and a sun when she’s smiling, with green fingers because even her garden loves her, she’s an angel on earth.

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You're the sun and I'm the moon. A reflection of you am I.

O.S

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My heart sinks like a stone trown into water when we kiss goodbye And I can feel how my soul turns inside me for not feeling yours anymore Non of them know that we will see eachother again And my brain can’t deal with the pain my heart and soul screams for they always belive we’ve lost you So my eyes cry salty tears for a life without you would make me create a new ocean.

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I envy how good you're with putting feelings in to words, because I feel exactly the same but I can't express myself other than to wright it down instead. So Im gonna wright hundreds of millions of words and it's always gonna be adressed or ment for you.

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Happy birthday my love. Like you said we complete eachother, and I think our love is coincidence meeting faith. It was meant to be, you are my zing. ❤

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When life gives u lemons. Make lemonpie.

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And oh darling if you only could se all my dark thoughts, but they’re always hiding when you’re around. But the moment you're not here demons eating my mind. I will try to get rid of them on my own. A promise so darkness never can catch us.