can't afford love @reforgette - Tumblr Blog

kameneva

love, buried three times

@kameneva

aaaangel444

maybe-itsforthebest

- j (x)

diesekt-deactivated20250209

a letter to my old best friend

we were in a small boutique

plato's closet, I think

and after minutes of swiping through bodysuits, blouses, sweaters, cardigans-

you sighed, walking towards the accessories, and you mumbled

"see, this is why i don't like shopping, nothing ever has anything in my size"

in that moment i could feel your disappointment

i remember so vividly, your bubbly aura shifting

your eyes focused on the wall, staring off into space

thoughts bouncing around in your head

thoughts I assume that were not in your favor

shaming yourself, struggling with your esteem

i wish i would've hugged you right there

instead of placing my hand on your shoulder

saying "no don't say that, we'll find something, I promise"

both of us knowing that wouldn't magically fix the damage caused by years of bullying you endured

just for simply existing and not fitting into societal standards

3 years after that moment

we don't speak anymore

but i hope you love yourself much more

i hope you see how beautiful you are

and you pay absolutely no mind to those

who can't see your compassionate heart behind their hearts seeping with judgement and insecurity.

stolenchapstick

redgf

raeiyyn

1.dorothy kunhart, pat the bunny // 2. // 3. mitski, a pearl, art by @hauntedomens // 4.hieu minh nguyen, buffet etiquette // 5.art from pinterest // 6.christa wolf tr. by jan van heurck, cassandra: a novel and four essays // 7.extracurricular (2020) dir.kim jin min // 8.louise bourgeois, destruction of the father/reconstruction of the father: writings and interviews 1923-1997 // 9.alice osman, radio silence // mitski, fireworks, art by uol.art (on insta)

loviely

I’m stop signs. Quick, 1, 2, 3, Go. I’m the rest stop when you’re almost to your destination, stop here find what you’re really looking for and realize it isn’t and won’t ever be me. I’m yellow lights that people run through and the fast lane on highways. I’m the person people look at and say I’ll take what they’ll give me and give nothing in return. I’m never the final stop. I’m the person who writes their number down for you and then you lose the paper in your least liked pair of pants but you don’t mind because they were never your favorite anyways. I am never the favorite anyways. I think about how I could make myself more likeable, turn myself from a hotel stop or train station into a skyscraper with a hard base and concrete flooring but then I remember no one would stay even if I begged them to. No one would stay even if I could force them to. I am never the one people remember or the one people want. I’m forever meant to be the stepping stone for people to realize what they really want out of life. And it’s never me.

I’m looking for forever, May 2020

neckkiss

via weheartit

danger

blossomfully

Sue Zhao

achingchest

“i. you were this pretty foreign thing and i was searching for a way to dig myself out of the dirt. you made me feel like i was worth something. i never knew how much that wasn’t a good thing. ii. you told me you felt famous because i wrote about you. i didn’t know how to tell you it’s never been a good thing to be my muse. i only write about people who suck and you really suck sometimes you iii. make me feel like my words don’t matter. make me think about how many friendships are based off of convenience. how many “i don’t have anyone else but at least i have somebody”s. how many “i deserve better”s that end with walking away with nothing. iv. loneliness comes with an agony i can’t scrub out. when we fight, you tell me what i mean to you as if telling me i am of worth will fix anything. i know i am. that’s why i’m tired of settling. v. there’s a difference between standing up for yourself and wasting your breath. i’ve wasted so much time obsessing and obsessing and obsessing over what i should do and say to those who hurt me to make it right. i go home now. i try to forget. i turn out the light.”

— recluse