Lawyer: How would you like to handle the custody agreement?
Parent: I want my wife to take one of my infant daughters to the UK and I’ll take the other one and we will never see each other again.
Lawyer: You want to fucking what?
$LAYYYTER

shark vs the universe
Peter Solarz

Product Placement

★
🪼
almost home
tumblr dot com
Keni
YOU ARE THE REASON

Kaledo Art
styofa doing anything

#extradirty
Game of Thrones Daily

tannertan36

if i look back, i am lost
noise dept.
Monterey Bay Aquarium
trying on a metaphor
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
seen from Türkiye

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Singapore

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from United Kingdom

seen from Brazil

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@eleanor-arroway
Lawyer: How would you like to handle the custody agreement?
Parent: I want my wife to take one of my infant daughters to the UK and I’ll take the other one and we will never see each other again.
Lawyer: You want to fucking what?
I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it
I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally
Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere
Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh
They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them
Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it
Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it
group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.
When a species becomes extinct humans have to figure out what kind of magic they were doing to keep the ecosystem from becoming out of balance
they should invent an 8-9:30 pm that's seven hours
The research was overseen by the Institutional Review Board, which is what I named my surfboard.
Planetary Science [Explained]
Transcript
[An article from a journal is shown.]
[Title of journal article:] Evidence for Liquid Water on the Surface of a Terrestrial Planet in the Habitable Zone
[Below the title are four lines of blurred text presumably representing the name of the author or authors and their affiliations. Below that, the text of the article is blurred, displayed in two columns. There are three sections of blurred text each with a blurred boldface heading. Two pictures are included amid the blurred text. The picture in the left column shows the sea running alongside a beach. The picture in the right column shows Jill and Kidball playing at the beach, with Jill running and Kidball building a sandcastle, while Cueball and Megan are sitting under a beach umbrella watching them.]
[Caption below the article:] Planetary science journals have asked astronomers to please stop submitting their vacation photos.
Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.
The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there
Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.
And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.
love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears
I sent this to my most bear-obsessed friend and this was her take
actually it would be incredibly funny if humans existed somewhere else in the universe. we meet aliens and they're just more humans except with a completely different history and language structure and politics because another planet out there evolved the same way ours did. there's no new science to learn it's all just anthropology
“does the left hand of darkness pass the bechdel test” the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
There's a recurring online tendency to aestheticize consensus itself. The imagined future village is full of emotionally compatible people who enjoy communal gardening, conflict resolution circles, acoustic folk music, mutual aid potlucks, and repairing bicycles together at sunset. Which is nice for the people who genuinely enjoy that lifestyle. But plenty of humans are solitary, prickly, obsessive, urban, nocturnal, sensory-seeking, technologically attached, contrarian, novelty-seeking, private, or just plain difficult. Those people do not evaporate after the revolution. They do not get Left Behind while you are Raptured into the Utopia. They become your neighbors.
#happypridemonth
happy pride
the earth hates to see my meek ass coming
Reminder:
artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.
its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post
pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs
mutuals
Which is prev?
Unmarried girl
Apologist
Craftsman who works with a wheel
Archivist
Dying person
Educator
Girl
Jurist
Knife sharpener
Lawyer
Librarian
red wine supernova, fall right into me
It's incredible how all if the censorship on the modern internet doesn't actually seem to be making society kinder or more wholesome hmm maybe there's a lesson in this
#And Yet No Children Were Protected