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@refracteds
⌗ REFRACTEDS ! an exploration of what it means to be a beacon of light that everyone watches, of projecting an image to the world and not knowing how to stop, of being looked at without being seen. told through the eyes of josephine yoon in the world of vanguardiahq ⸻ as written by h ( she/her ).
dossier. pinterest. threads.
Julian isn’t surprised by Josie’s half-assed apology before swiftly moving on to question why he’s even in her presence. He rolls his eyes. Rolls them again for good measure; the white flashes return every time he blinks.
“Yeah, maybe you should’ve, then I wouldn’t have to see your—” Dumb face, he almost says, but stops himself from blurting out more childish insults. He doesn’t want to seem like the immature one. As a result, the end of his sentence is a lame, half-hearted—
“—face.”
Hm. Not too effective. Or clever. Julian uses her question to socially recover.
“Shouldn’t you be at the welcoming party?” He parrots back. “Don’t you need people to fawn over you or something, to prove you exist?”
He knows it’s cruel, but his tone is casual when he says it. Casual as he steps past her, toward the fountain, while he desperately tries not to trip between the momentary blindness after every blink.
she snorts at his insult, which really lands less like a dagger aimed for the heart and more like a foam dart thrown at a soft pillow. rolls her eyes in return. it's funny to hear other's perceptions of her out loud. this one lands harder than the previous insult, caught in between the fact that josie knew some people would view her like this no matter what — attention-seeking, hungry for an audience — and the uncertainty about how much truth his sentence contained. “ hm, well, i already did that, so i guess my job's done , ” she replies as if it didn't phase her, although a flicker in her eyes would have given it away. a good thing then, that it seemed he still couldn't see very well. she stifles a laugh as she watches him make his way, a bit ungracefully, towards the fountain. tilts her head as eyes his movements, making sure he doesn't actually fall into the fountain or something. however tempting it was to make the image a reality, she would rather not make the school newspaper headlines with that one. “ surprised no one tried to follow you and make sure you don't blow anything up. ”
josie’s words hit sharper than ale wanted to admit, like a paper cut right where the skin’s already thin. she wasn’t built for pretending things didn’t bother her. her face always gave her away, every emotion bleeding through before she could catch it. mouth pressed into a tight line, tongue ticking against the inside of her cheek as a flicker of irritation burned behind her ribs. the air seemed to hum for a second, cooler, heavier ⎯⎯ an unintentional response, her control slipping just enough to echo her mood. “ no one in their right mind would hope to spend more time with— ” she stopped herself, breath catching mid - sentence. there it was, that instinct to match bite for bite, to make herself hurt less by making someone else hurt too. that was josie’s way, not hers. so she swallowed the rest of that sentence, eyes dropping on the ground as she inhaled slow, forcing down the heat crawling up her chest. she wasn’t that person. she refused to be. when she finally looked back up, her smile was taut and resigned, a little too polished to be real. “ … looking forward to it. ” a lie, maybe, but one she could live with. eyes met the other’s for half a second longer than they should’ve, something fragile flickering there before she broke the gaze entirely. there were so many things she could’ve said. buried words built from anger, from sadness. but she didn’t. instead, she just adjusted the strap of her bag again and took a small step back. turns out, the distance felt safer than honesty.
when the air shifted, josie didn't flinch — she had been taught well enough to never show her cards like that. instead she waited, watching the shadows flicker across alejandra's face. sometimes, she wondered if what she was doing was the real her — picking a fight, prodding a bruise just so it won't heal. the josie she presented to the world would have apologized months ago, placated her hurt, let the wound scar and keep quiet. but maybe this was what ale deserved — the real her, the her that she was afraid to show, the her she wasn't sure exactly existed at all. when ale stops herself mid-sentence, then recovers in the kind of thinly-veiled politeness josie was used to giving out, the corners of her lips twitch. “ you can say it, you know. ” her voice slides out deadpan. “ no one in their right mind would hope to spend more time with you. ” she finishes the sentence, with a tinge of mockery to her voice. she purses her lips a little, nods to herself, like she's satisfied that she finally saw a sliver of what ale never said. “ if that's how you really feel. ” the wedge she's driving digs itself into the earth, splits the ground fresh in two, a gaping divide widens further, and maybe it's the only way she can keep herself together. no one in their right mind would hope to spend more time with you. because that was the fear, wasn't it? the reason she could only keep up that veil for so long before it fell away and ale came to that very conclusion? it seemed it didn't matter, no matter what she did. perhaps the end was always going to be like this. she steps back, mirrors the smile, lets her eyes crinkle at its corners. “ looking forward to it, ” she replies, an emphasis on every word. she pushed her way out the door. down the hallway, she felt something in her crack.
josie couldn’t have been much older than his own daughter. soren and sigrid had made sure that signe never thought of herself as less - than, never thought that her abilities were less useful or dangerous or special. his wife, growing up, had been instilled with a self doubt that still bubbled to the surface at times. søren’s abilities had been nurtured by his parents, despite them not being fully understood ; it was what every young gifted person deserved, and without their daughter at vanguardia he instead put that attention into the students. whether they signed up for his classes or not. “i promise. you didn’t hurt me. it’s an incredible ability,” søren gestured to josie’s hands and offered her a smile, “you could do a lot of good with that. you know, even i still get overwhelmed at the beginning of every year. there’s the worry that nobody will take your classes, the influx of new students … everyone feels so vulnerable, the students and the professors.” there was no animosity in his tone, no anger in the way that he spoke with her. søren was a father above everything else — his position as a professor, as a doctor, was secondary. “a bit of time away from everything is good for everyone. if you need somewhere to unwind, if you ever need a second of quiet, my classroom is always open.”
josie offers a small smile, a real one. “i don't know… i know they always say that kind of thing, that here we can make a difference, but…” she trails off, trying to find the words. professor holmström had been nothing but kind to her while she had been at vanguardia. she owed him some portion of the truth that lay in her. “i don't know. i guess i've just never thought about what happens after i leave here.” she's looking down at the pointed toes of her heels, taps them together once, like she's a little kid again, sitting on a bench outside waiting for her parents to come out from a party. back then, the whole world once felt like it was splayed out before her, like ripened fruit that dangled within reach. now it seemed like only one path remained, an apple already plucked before she could take it herself, buds of what could have been fallen to the dirt at her feet. and yet, his words echo in her brain again. you could do a lot of good with that. did he see a path that she didn't? “i'll probably take you up on that.” she meant it. his gentle invitation held more weight than she could convey, but she hoped that he understood. “thank you, professor.”
Maria was never one for parties, she highly disliked crowds and welcoming new students was always a worry. That didn't even begin to mention younger pupils trying to sneak in to see the elder students. So she was taking a breather, had even discussed it with Phoebe so it was scheduled for her. However she wasn't expecting the bright light to appear at her feet. She flinched away from it, blinking slowly to try and rectify it.
"My goodness, that is quite a light you have there."
if josie could make a list of the top ten people she would not have liked to come around the corner at the moment that she made the irrational decision to throw her light across the courtyard, the dean would definitely be up there. she didn't hold anything particularly against the dean, but she knew that her parents must be in contact with her. “ um, yeah… sorry again, dean rhodes. you're okay, right? ” she asked again, eyebrows raised in concern. as much as vanguardia felt like her own personal escape, around the dean she had to hold her tongue, put on her performance. she clasps her hands together, stands ever so straighter. “ it won't happen again. ”
Ryan had successfully survived orientation week. While it was hardly his first time around, all the bright and beaming faces were a lot to handle. The nervous energy, the unknown powers. The possibility that he might see himself a little too clearly in the eyes of some scared, self-loathing, kid... Yeah, all things he wasn't interested in. Plus, the party. That had been rough. Content that the forced socialisation was over, Ryan was now tucked into a corner with a book, eager to blend back into the background. And yet, when he heard footsteps approach, he couldn't stop himself from looking up. "I'm not so sure that this corner's big enough for the both of us, but if it's your dream... I can move." @vanguardiastarters
the energy of orientation week still buzzed at the edges as students found their pace amongst their class schedules. josie had found the prior week anything but orienting, but now in the rhythm of classes, it was like the weight was disappearing, little by little. with a break in her schedule, she's wandering the halls, peering into rooms, about to give up and head to the courtyard — when she spots ryan. she doesn't hesitate to walk up to him, smile spread across her face, amused at him sitting in the corner with a book. “ c'mon, you can't make room for me? ” she jokingly pouts, batting her eyes before she breaks into a laugh. ryan was one of the few people on campus whose presence was like the glow of a hearth in midwinter, warm and inviting, someone whom with she could let the facade fall. she finds a chair to pull over and sit next to him, leans near to peer at the pages before him. “ what are you reading this time? anything good? ” she asks. “ i just got a reading assignment already… has to be better than that, i hope. ”
They could count on both hands to how many people they were the villain of their stories -- though even then, Paloma did not think themselves so important. So treacherous or so bad. However, they knew that in front of Josie, they had done harm and there was no way that they would rectify that harm or make up for the time lost due to the choice made to be the one that leaves. Even as their footsteps go closer, the cigarette in mouth, noticing the beautifully engraved lighter ( there was nothing in Josie's life that didn't at least appear beautiful, that much was true ), which they take with their hand to light their own cigarette with as that same hand plays with the item given to them. Even that was a kindness. "What am I doing out here? Don't YOU need to keep up appearances?" A drag, they take, blowing it in the opposite direction of Josie, their eyes not meeting the others but continuing to finnick with the lighter and inspect it all too closely. "Pretty sure there's an after party happening soon. Can't take up all my energy kissing the asses of the faculty. Gotta do that during the actual school year." A pause, another drag, before they ask, "you have a good summer, Josephine?"
josie watches the smoke rise, curl into the air, and disappear. eyes drop to paloma's hands turning over her lighter. “ appearances, ” she echoes, the word acid on her tongue. she scoffs. “ so nice of you to be looking out for me. didn't know you still cared that much. ” she's used to this at least — putting on a false bravado when everything inside aches. but the ache quickly sharpens into something that burns at the back of her throat. josephine. the jagged edge of her full name. a provocation that makes josie chew the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from saying anything that would compromise her appearances. she rolls her eyes as she holds her hand out to retrieve her lighter. “ just cheery. travel the world, perform for thousands, some beach time. wonderful, really, ” she replies with a sudden warmth, smile spread across her face, a switch flipped. there was a time where she thought she wouldn't have to do that with paloma. “ was yours just as pleasant? ”
she sensed it before she rounded the corner. but it was gone as quickly as it approached her. her gaze shifted from where the light had disappeared to josie’s apologetic face. “it’s okay,” she said, soft as ever. “i’m fine,” she added, quiet and reassuring. she wasn’t just saying it, either. it was a simple fact. she had instinctively closed her eyes. “really.” the subtle hum of powers in the distance a constant. it wasn’t just josie’s– this was vanguardia, after all. but for the moment, val’s focus was only on her friend, wide smile spreading across her features at the sight of her. “when did you arrive?”
josie hadn't realized how tense she was until she felt her shoulders relax, even the weight of the summer on her chest releasing. seeing val felt like coming home with the fireplace lit in midwinter, the same familiar hug of warmth after a cold spell. she smiled in relief at her friend's confirmation, walks up to her. “ to school? just a few days ago. i wanted to come earlier, but i had a last minute schedule… ” she purses her lips at the memory of her parents asking — no, telling — her to do just one more show. “ as for the party, like, half an hour ago. but honestly, i'm already ready to go, ” she replies with a laugh. “ what about you ? when did you get here ? ”
he huffs out a laugh, though it's quiet and quick. " yeah, you're welcome. light of salvation or whatever the fuck they say, " it comes out like a tease, though it's fleeting as her genuine concern brings a small but reassuring smile to his face. toby shifts his weight, shoulder gently brushing the wall behind him, while his gaze moves between her and the distant party. " oh, you know me ... an absolute party animal. but no, no i get it. too many people for sure. i can only handle so much of it too, especially when it's already loud enough up here, " he adds with a tap to his temple, agreeing with her ; resonating with her. it almost made him feel a little confused, that it was so easy for him to feel comfort around someone he used to hate being around. " what'd you do over the break that's got you like this? " maybe he was pushing it by asking the question again, but toby could hardly help himself from it. in fact, it almost became a mission for him to understand how her brain worked, his curiosity always got the best of him. " not that it's my business but ... it's just the two of us out here and i've got all night, really. i'm not much of a sleeper. "
“ really ? ” she murmurs more to herself, eyebrows raising at his sympathy. she found herself surprised to learn that he could relate to her, more surprised to learn that she wanted to understand more about him. but before she can turn it towards him, his next question follows. she had braced herself for it after dancing around the subject. “ a curious way to spend your night, but i appreciate it. ” a sharp inhale as she moves to the wall he's beside and leans her back against it, splays her fingers across the cool stone like it could ground her. “ it's not that serious, though… i'm making a bigger deal of it than i need to, ” she disclaims, looks up at the moon that observed them apathetically. it suddenly felt inane to be complaining about something like this, even more inane to be telling this to toby. “ but have you ever just felt like… like life is a hamster wheel and you just keep running and running, but you don't know how to stop ? ” a pause. she snorts at herself. “ that sounds stupid. ” her problems suddenly felt so small, especially at the institute. she slides her gaze back to his. “ i was just travelling a lot. it barely felt like a break at all, i guess. ”
she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. she didn’t owe the femme an answer, not after months of silence that had stretched too long and too wide. still, she was the one who’d spoken first. walking away now would’ve made her look like a coward, and she’d promised herself she wasn’t afraid. “ uh … advanced natural studies. again, ” she admitted, biting the inside of her cheek before continuing. “ crisis management, martial conditioning. ” her voice trailed off, the last word catching slightly in her throat. ale hated how small she sounded, anxious instead of nonchalant. her gaze wandered for a moment ⎯⎯ over the desks, the windows, the faint smudge of dry erase marker still on the board. it all looked painfully normal, yet there was a heaviness that clung to the air, something in the space between them that used to be filled with easy laughter. when she finally looked back at josie, her expression softened, if only by a fraction. “ what about you ? ” she asked, trying to sound casual. she wasn’t sure what she wanted from this conversation. closure ? a clean break ? or just proof that they could still stand to be in the same room. after all, it seems they’re gonna have to be around each other a lot more than they wanted this year.
a scoff escapes from her, not precisely at alejandra, but moreso at the universe's conspiracy against her. because of course, the person it hurt to be around would not just be in one class this year, or two… but three. “ great. ” it comes out drier than she'd like, but it escapes from her before she can veil it in any kind of sweetness. it's here when the distance feels sharpest, when each word feels like it's squeezed out of her. their friendship was but sand at the bottom of an hourglass, and josie hesitated to even touch it, let alone turn it over. where would it lead, anyways? “ i'm also taking advanced natural studies. ” a beat. “ … and martial conditioning. ” her voice comes out flat, sounds distant even to her. forces a smile. “ so i guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other. ” josie should leave. she should live with the decision that she had made, and the decision that ale had made in response. and yet. it hurt that she could not even pinpoint the exact moment, that ale hadn't even tried to fight for their friendship. standing in front of her, she wanted to say something. what happened to us? i'm sorry. i miss you. but instead all that comes out — “ i'm sure that's just what you were hoping for. ”
it never took toby long to wander away from events in search of momentary isolation, lighting up a joint in secret and treating himself to a few puffs. it wasn't that he didn't have fun at these things, he just had a hard time sitting still for too long. toby did tend to prefer smaller crowds, it was easier for him to avoid getting into any trouble when less people were around. with his hood pulled up over his head, he wandered into the courtyard and tucked the joint between his lips, too focused on attempting to ignite his lighter to notice much about his surroundings. a very light but high - pitched gasp is pulled from the lad at the sudden orb bursting beside his head, body quick to react by lunging backward. his eyes grow wide but his vision is obstructed by the remaining bands of colour, which caused him to rub at his eyes for a few moments. " hey, i'm not religious but i feel like i just saw god for real, " toby stated dramatically, though his tone lacks any hostility and fills instead with jest, shown in the smile that begins to curve his lips. it was always moments like these that toby knew were the reason he started to see her beyond someone that simply got under his skin. there was something much deeper to understand when it came to josie, and he wouldn't rest until he figured it out. " pretty sure i can still see but ask me again when these spots in my vision go away, " he adds, reaching out a moment as if he could swipe them away. " i mean it did help wake me up which was nice, if nothing else. what's got you throwing light orbs at innocent walls ? "
a laugh escapes from her — a genuine one, not the one she constructed for show — at his reaction. “ good to know my light is useful for missionaries, if i need to switch careers. ” she watches his hand reach out, stepping closer to give a little wave of her hand in his line of sight, as if she too could help clear his vision. “ sorry about that, ” she apologizes again, but the tension has already left her shoulders, knot in her chest beginning to unravel in microscopic movements. had it been two years ago, the sight of him would have only made the knot wound in on itself further, having to ready herself for some biting comment, maybe. but they weren't in first year anymore, and something in josie had been shifting slowly, like the gentle click of a lock's mechanisms falling open. she could only attribute it to the past couple times they'd run into each other. once right before break, once at the beginning of orientation week, at times when the rest of vanguardia was sleeping. she hadn't told anyone else about her issues sleeping lately. a secret borne out of necessity — she wasn't meant to appear weak. “ ‘ wake you up ’ ? party too boring for you ? ” she asks with a quirk of her eyebrow, eyes falling to the joint in his hand. really, she's buying time to form an answer to his question. “ i was just trying to clear my head… a lot of people over there ” — she tilts her head towards the party, chooses her words carefully — “ and i just… needed some time to actually think. well, i guess i wasn't thinking. ” she huffs a short laugh then, and something about him knowing of her recent insomnia allowed more truth to escape. “ the break must've made my brain go a little all over the place. ”
Lyndsy had known that Josie would be returning to the school today, but receiving that text had really put a damper on her day. It wasn't that she hated the other woman, there was just something so unbelievably irritating about her; she was too pristine, too pretentious, too much. Biting the bullet, she got her coffee to go–briefly considering that maybe she should get one for Josie too, only to realise that she had no idea what she would even like. Opening their room door, immediately being hit with an apology, Lyndsy released the smallest sigh as she looked around at the supposed 'mess' before turning her attention to her own side of the room. If Josie thought her luggage was a mess, what the hell was she thinking about Lyndsy's unmade bed and irregular piles of clutter? "I'll do my best not to trip over it all." With one hop, she was over the carnage and dropping on to her bed. "More lights? Can't you just... I don't know, make your own?"
she frowns. “ making the lights every time is a lot of work, a lot of energy… it's easier to just have a light source to begin with. ” josie's not sure why she's explaining this all to lyndsy, but she realizes she had probably never explained much about her ability at all to her before. did she even know how lyndsy's really worked? “ it'll just be on my side, and whenever you want full lights out, it'll be lights out. promise. ” she says diplomatically, a glance down at the lights. “ but if you'd prefer, i won't put them up. ” she had always been one for ambience, but she'd rather not start any conflict with lyndsy. the tension between them was just as uncomfortable, and she'd rather not add onto it. but the door to conversation is ajar, and something in josie tries to push it a little further open. “ um, what have you been up to, over break ? ”
"Is that what it's supposed to make you feel?" Always the sceptic, and nowadays, Nate just couldn't help it. It was so much easier to be critical of just about everything out there, mainly because there was a genuine reason for it. "Personally,it felt terrifying. We actually got to another year and this place is standing." And it always would, because bad things never stopped as far as he was concerned. Catching a break lately just wasn't a possibility. "It's a risk I'm willing to take." Nate added seriously, despite how silly all of it was as he picked out another appetizer from one of the many pates. "What if the dinner's the worst meal out there? Then this day will be even more of a disappointment than it already is."
“ i mean i think that's what they want you to feel. whether that message gets across is a whole other matter. ” she glanced at the first years, evident by the bright eyes that gazed at the institute, an energy that carried them into the first week of classes before they realized exactly what they were in for. she remembered her first year colored the same way — but perhaps she was more in the minority than in the majority. terrifying, he had said. she had always thought that for her, being here was better than being out there, but then again, depending on what the institute wanted, her power wasn't useful in comparison to others, to his. “ for the past two years, they've always had something pretty good. you can trust in that pattern. i'd bet you money on it. ” she offers with equal seriousness. she tilts her head at his last sentence. gaze moving from her food to him. she lightens her tone, smile still soft. “ i thought you said the appetizers were good. what was so disappointing ? ”
Taken aback by the burst of light, not by it's blinding quality but by it's familiarity, Paloma does not speak at first. Of course, when they had been needing a break from the spurious affair inside, they'd run into someone they'd been running away from. The halls of Vanguardia offered little escape from the past, no matter how far away it was. It was a reason Paloma had a hard time staying in once place. "Nah, actually, I can't see shit." The words were not said harshly but on the borderline of sarcasm and levity -- a joke that fell flat, something just as familiar as the light itself but without the warmth that lightheartedness brought. It was not meant to be cold or callous but as Paloma took out a cigarette to light, having let the silence hang between them as they packed the carton in their hand, they realized it could've been interpreted as such. Good. Let Josephine do whatever she wanted with it. "Got a light?" Another joke, though this time, Paloma was proud of themselves for it, a stark distinction from the words said prior. "Least you can do after almost BLINDING me."
of course, in a moment where all josie wanted was peace, the universe would grace her with the presence of paloma. seeing them again left her frozen in place, feet glued to the cobblestone. remembers how it felt to splay a piece of her open and press it carefully into paloma's hands before she crushed it, left it at josie's feet. the reply falls icily to josie's ears and her worries dissipate, replaced by a tightness in her chest. she scans paloma's gaze, as if still searching for a bygone warmth she knows is locked to the past. “ ha, funny, ” she replies, sarcasm bleeding. and yet, she doesn't have the heart to just turn away from them. she rustles through her purse for a lighter, fingers wrap around the cold metal engraved with a butterfly. finds the wherewithal to move closer to paloma and hold it out. “ here. and i said i was sorry. what are you doing out here, anyways ? ”
Nora was always prone to wondering off, especially at Vanguardia where all of the faculty basically had their eyes on her at all times thanks to her brother. She was on her way back when she saw her friend Josie from afar, just ahead of her; no surprise to Nora of course, she knew Josie hated such big event. " Holy crap!" Nora leaped as she froze in her spot and dodged down. "I almost lost my head forget my eyesight. " She exclaimed as she stood back up " I wonder if I could grow my head back if that was case, oh gosh can you imagine?" she rambled as she stood before her friend.
her eyebrows raised at her friend in amusement. “ you are okay, though, right ? ” she asks to confirm, gaze flitting across nora's face. “ sorry, again… but i don't think my light has any mass to it, you know? so hopefully you wouldn't have lost your head. ” she could at least trust nora not to tell anyone about her impulsive decision. if it had been someone else, she would have to fear a rumor catching about josephine yoon nearly beheading some first year, or what have you. in reality, josie thought she could only play so much with her ability because compared to someone like nora, the consequences were on a whole different order of magnitude. “ but you still need your brain in that case, right? let's make sure we keep that in tact, ” she replies with a smile. “ were you headed somewhere? ”
“What the fuck—” Julian rounds the corner when a globule of light (again, what the fuck?) barrels toward him. It halts just before he walks into it face-first, but it blinds him completely. He stumbles back, instinctively shielding his eyes, and then he hears her. Josie. Of course. So much for a moment’s respite.
“No, I fucking can’t.” The words leave him with spiteful force as he tries to guess where she’s coming from. He stops retreating for a second, listens for her footsteps, and hopes she has the sense to stay away. Julian’s face is twisted into a deep frown as he lowers his hands. White flashes burst behind his eyelids every time he blinks, but his vision slowly bleeds back. He can just make out Josie’s silhouette beside him, tentatively stepping closer.
“Just stay away from me.” He warns, though most of the bite has drained from his voice now that he’s starting to see again. He shouldn’t be surprised. When people applaud every time she uses her powers, of course she has zero inhibition about them. Julian blinks until his sight mostly returns, then finally turns to Josie with a look of utter disdain.
“Are you stupid?”
josie takes a deep breath as she realizes exactly who she had nearly struck with light. she tried to be on good terms with as many people as possible, but even she knew that there would have to be exceptions — julian chiefly among them. they always seemed to stand at total opposite ends of any spectrum. her concern drops at his reply, but her eyes stay wide, trying to figure out how much he can see, if it looks like his vision is recovering. “ i was just trying to make sure you were okay. ” she heeds his words though, stops in her tracks at his warning.
his words make her scoff. “ i said i was sorry. ” there's a sharp edge to her words, matching his own tone. she crosses her arms, matches his gaze with a glare. watches his eyes come back to focus on her, hardened with the same hostility she reflected. “ and you can still see, can't you? maybe the stupid thing to do was to not blind you, ” she says under her breath to herself, but she lets it escape audible enough for him to hear. “ and like i said, i didn't know anyone else would even be coming over here. it was pretty empty for like, the past half hour. shouldn't you be at the welcoming party? ”
søren holmström was more of a party animal than his wife, but it didn’t mean that he was going to celebrate all evening like some of the other professors. he was aging, and aching, and a little beyond all - night benders, and so instead he broke away from the celebrations ( and the responsibility of keeping the students in check ) to enjoy some much needed fresh air. his abilities were a little more subtle than some of the students he taught. for the most part he was able to lay low, to exist beneath the radar, and for forty five years he had done just that ; it still caught him by surprise when he saw students so brazenly using their gifts without concern. “oh, don’t you worry,” he waved his hand dismissively and hobbled over to the fountain, taking a seat on the edge beside josie. “i’m getting old anyway. my eyesight is starting to fail. sometimes i wonder whether i should try and perform lasik on myself, but i’m not sure i want to take that risk. besides, the missus thinks i look handsome when i wear my glasses.” sometimes søren wondered whether he was more of a student than a professor. meeting students at their level was the most natural thing in the world. “take a seat. take a breath. nobody is hurt. was the party a bit too much for you, too ? ”
she watches professor holmström carefully, trying to assess if he's angry at first, but no scolding comes forth. not that she expected him to yell at her, but the instinct had surged forth to correct mistakes instantly, to say the right thing to smooth things over. the corners of her lips turn upward, listening to his rambling. “ lasik on yourself does sound scary, ” she murmurs in response as she heeds his words and sits back down at the fountain. takes a breath. “ you're sure you're okay ? ” she asks one more time. josie knew that there were more dangerous powers than hers here, which made her feel ridiculous sometimes, when they were supposed to be here, honing abilities to be something useful. all she'd done in her life was make, what, pretty lights? and now, she could add almost blinding someone to her resume. here, in some ways she felt more unremarkable than remarkable, and she much preferred it that way. “ normally crowds are fine… i think i just spent my time with too many people over the break. ” the memory of the holidays — the press of people asking for her picture, pens held out in anticipation of her autograph, bright lights of cameras. she offers a small smile. “ i'm okay though. sorry again about the… ” waves her hand to gesture where she had thrown the ball of light. “ i wasn't really thinking, and that's on me. it won't happen again. ”
